Often the most important things are hiding in plain sight. We cannot see them because we’re so busy looking at things that we’ve been told are important or think that we value. A deeper inspection usually reveals that we’ve overlooked the most crucial things in the name of the most frivolous. It’s not particularly our fault as our brains were hardwired to concentrate on the urgent and short term because the long term was not guaranteed. Also there are some things that we look past completely because of the fact that they are so pervasive. One of my favorite questions to ask during presentations is “what is the most important thing that you’re going to do today?” I get a variety of answers depending on the crowd but the answer should be the same for everyone: breathe! The answer is so obvious and yet almost everyone misses it because it’s overlooked. My work at the moment is at a tenuous place where I am trying to balance that which I know is most important and what people actually see. So for now I am going to continue to do what I believe is right… NOT CARE!
I’ve decided to intertwine two of my greatest passions into one because in my eyes they fit so perfectly together. The most popular sport in the world (soccer) and the most important skill for doing anything in life (self-belief) are the twin targets that I’ve set my sights on. The reason being that it is important to leverage people’s behavior and soccer has motivated millions of people to shell out big money to have someone teach their child how to kick a ball more effectively. The reverse of that situation is that self-belief is extremely low in our younger generation because they have largely been robbed of the experience of self-discovery. Their activities have been planned for them since birth. Failure has been removed from their lives in order to protect them. And they have largely been taught that they are not as good as the people that they see on the screen of the super computer in their pocket. So what am I going to do about it… NOT CARE!
- I’m not going to care about how many goals you score this season but rather the number of times that you keep working in a tough session.
- I’m not going to care about the number of followers you have on Instagram but rather your ability to lead one person (you).
- I’m not going to care that you didn’t get a starting position on the team but rather the ways that you control those types of outcomes in your life through your choices.
- I’m not going to care about your desire to get recruited by the college of your choice but rather recruit the resources within you to make you an irresistible candidate.
At this point, you probably get the picture. I’m more concerned with the root than the fruit because I know that they’re so completely dependent upon one another. Focusing on the process at the most basic level may not produce the exact result that you’re looking for. It will however produce a person that is worth believing in and that’s what I care about!
Pete
This episode I got the chance to talk to Anson Smith, Head Coach of Hunterdon Central High School. We delve into a variety of topics including team culture, Development Academies, personal responsibility, and a host of other topics. You can find his company and contact him directly at 
Ties was one of my favorite sitcoms from the 1980’s. It wasn’t the funniest show in the world but I related with it. Parents who cared but were a little weird and eccentric. The kids had some problems but nothing overly earth-shattering. Despite any issues that arose, there was a general sense that the family cared for one another and wanted the best for each other. The morals to the episodes were pretty straight forward and dealt with things that I was about to go through as a kid. Although there were major differences between myself and the character, I always identified with Alex P. Keaton.
It means action by the many. In some ways this endeavor is truly in line with American culture (of the past at least). It is almost inherently American to identify a challenge and conquer it. For most of our country’s history, that was almost common place. We (the people) took on monumental tasks as a collective. Unfortunately we seem to be at a point in history where we expect other people to do it for us. We can outsource it or it’s the government, corporation or system’s fault that things aren’t going right. The problem lies with someone else or it’s just too hard and I can’t be bothered. FUCK THAT!!! We need to step up for the next eight years! Not in some grandiose, out of reach way but in simple ways that can have a cumulative effect. The main thing that will be required is a long term view. So here are some of my suggestions based on a variety of perspectives. It’s by no means a complete list but it’s a start. Add your own thoughts in the comments.
With the World Cup only a week away, the passion of nations is about to be put on display for the world to see. The line between ecstasy and exasperation will be measured in moments and inches rather than hours and yards. Preparations for this spectacle have been going on for years because for most of us, it is just that big of a deal. Soccer truly is its own religion. The problem, however, is the same as it is with most religions. When people care that much about something, they tend to leave their ability to reason at the door. Passion trumps perspective and people lose sight of what is TRULY important. This is extremely evident in soccer’s hate triangle*.
This past weekend at my son’s game, it became evident that there are a lot of negative feelings swirling around the soccer fields these days. There is obviously plenty of excitement and passion to go around but the negative feelings are also ubiquitous. Most of the time these feelings are directed at a particular group of people involved. Every game has the potential to become a powder keg as tempers (both expressed and unexpressed) flare up. Three groups represent the biggest sources of animosity and project it outward toward one or both of the others. Coaches, Parents and Referees are the adults surrounding a game. While stuck in the middle are the young people that the game is supposed to be for. Obviously not every parent, coach or referee has these negative feelings toward the other groups but it is so ever-present that most kids are affected.
The role of a captain can be very important on a soccer team. I say “can be” because on some teams, the captain does nothing more than the coin toss. My perspective is that the captain has a great deal of responsibility and should have certain characteristics that help her to lead.
Most of the time soccer is a noun but today I’m going to use it as a verb. Of course when you are creating a new word, it’s important to define it. Here is my explanation of the term.
I don’t feel comfortable sharing their names as I have not asked for parental permission. Nor would I ask because these people have definitely suffered enough. In my almost twenty years of coaching, I’ve lost no less than five former players to suicide, drugs/alcohol and avoidable accidents. This may not be statistically significant to some but it is something that I carry with me always. In the eyes of many, the job of a coach is to direct an individual or group in technique and tactics in order to win a particular contest.
My soccer career started on a team called the Orange Crushers. I didn’t know what “irony” was at seven years old but our name epitomized it. We crushed nothing and it seemed as though our purpose in the league was for us to be crushed by others. My memories of that season are a complete blur except for one game. In one of our final games of the season, we won and I scored. I was so glad when it happened. The other team from town, Blue Bombers, was filled with friends and classmates and they were undefeated. So that lone victory was important for me because I’d received some ribbing at school. Perhaps that lone victory kept me hanging on despite the poor start to my soccer career.
The 20th Century of the United States was largely dominated by an industrial economy. The US rode the wave of the industrial revolution into prominence on the world stage. Factories flourished thanks to interchangeable parts and largely interchangeable people. Most workers in the 20th Century were able to earn a substantial living by doing simple repetitive tasks under the orders of their bosses.
Huryk Unlimited 