SoccerLifeBalance

Hard Work Pushing Young Bull Forward – Brian White (New York Red Bulls)

bwhiteBrian White was the first draft pick taken by the New York Red Bulls in the 2018 MLS Draft.  In this conversation we talk about some of the things that set him apart as an athlete and the transition to life as a professional athlete.

SoccerLifeBalance

Sweet Feet to Educated Coaches – Brad Nein (Coach, Blogger, Doctor?)

bradneinphotoThis episode I got the chance to talk to Brad Nein, Coach and Blogger who works with kids and coaches in order to make a better experience of soccer.  We discuss his beginnings, his dissertation and many other topics.  To find out more about Brad and what he does, go to http://www.educatedcoaches.com or http://www.sweetfeetsoccer.org.

SoccerLifeBalance

It’s Chess, Not Kickball!

US26_LogoIt’s far off in the future but it will be here in a developmental instant.  Although the World Cup of 2026 is almost a decade away, the present is the only place where we can impact the future.  Recognizing that Christian Pulisic and Tyler Adams may be the “veterans” of that team gives the extremely realistic picture that while our future could be bright, it is in our best interest to make it brighter.  The loftier heights of the sport world are not reached by the individual but rather by a cultural movement that serves as a base to raise the many.  So the US soccer needs to realize that it’s chess, not kick ball.

The reason is that our soccer culture has gotten extremely effective at creating only pawns.  Christian Pulisic is an anomaly as an American player because of his versatility and vision.  Generally speaking the youth systems of the country are extremely effective at creating players who can make the next pass and not much else.  A slightly dumbed down version of the beautiful game where creativity is superseded by practicality.  Although pawns are necessary in the game of chess, they are unable to win the game on their own.  The major pieces, like rooks and queens, give the best possibility for victory because they are dynamic and possibly game changing.  Opponents must fear them because they are unpredictable.  They are in the right spots because they think five moves ahead from where the play is right now.  And that’s what we all need to do with the game.

The recognition that right now is not the goal.  The goal looms in front of us in the distance but we can’t reach it playing kick ball.  We need to be playing chess, developing rooks, queens, bishops and even knights.  Seeing a path that leads to eventual checkmate will only come if we are developing enough quality pieces, not pawns for our small game.

Check yourself.

Pete

SoccerLifeBalance

Soccer Vision in a Football Town – Evan Weller (Head Coach Phillipsburg High School)

Evan WellerHead Coach, Evan Weller, has been building the soccer program at Phillipsburg High School for the past 16 years.  This conversation highlights some of the components to their success and thoughts beyond the lines of the field.

 

SoccerLifeBalance

SLB Podcast: Why Are We Doing This?

In this brief solo talk, I discuss some of the things that I believe are being missed in our current soccer culture.  Even they may be the most pressing and most apparent, they seem to be the most overlooked.  Send in your thoughts and questions to pete@hurykunlimited.com today.

Blogpost

Steam Is Contagious

Huryk-LukeIt was many years ago but I’ve still not encountered a better example.  I was the field marshal at a youth tournament in Pennsylvania.  The players were under twelve years old and engaged in a very back and forth game.  One team was extremely adept at the offside trap.  Late in the game, there was a corner kick.  The cross was cleared out of the penalty box and the defense pushed up.  The ball fell to the foot of a offensive player about 30 yards from goal.  He shot.  The ball rocketed toward the goal and hit the post.  The rebound fell to a forward who was slow getting back onside and he scored.  The referee instantly called offside and awarded a free kick to the defense.  The coach of the team that had the goal disallowed went ballistic.  He screamed about how “ridiculous” the call was and asked about the referees sight, etc.  As the field marshal I felt that it was my job to diffuse the situation in order to avoid it interfering with the game.  I said, “Coach, if you’d like, I can explain to you why that was the right call.”  He responded, “I know it was the right call!  I’m just blowing off some steam.”

In most cases, soccer is not a life or death situation.  It’s a passion, diversion, recreation, fun or even a teacher.  The game has the possibility to do so many things because it garners the emotions of the people around it.  There is nothing inherently wrong with emotion.  We need them to live and color our lives.  However emotion without any sense of reason is problematic.  The word was chosen very deliberately.  REASON!  The reason why we’re there in the first place gets lost when we cannot control our emotions.  Referees become demons.  Opponents become enemies and sense of our self-interest overrides the judgment that we use elsewhere.  This is not so much of a problem when it is a single person.  However it seems to have become a societal norm.

The steam that so many people are letting off is clouding our vision.  The ability to see what is right in front of our faces.  Children.  Children who are looking at us for how to act.  Not just on a soccer field on Saturdays or Sundays but in their daily lives.  When something doesn’t go their way, they’re supposed to have an emotion freak out session because that’s what you do.  You don’t take a breath and refocus on the task at hand.  You don’t see the bigger picture.  You don’t recognize that human error is part of life and needs to be coped with.  Those things aren’t done because they’re hard.  They require effort, judgement and self-control.  These skills are difficult to develop, especially when you’re a child, watching the adults act like children.

So don’t breathe in the steam, just breathe!  Recognize that the children on the field have spent hours this week trying to improve their skills in order to perform for you.  Put your focus on that.  Double, triple or quadruple your focus on the fact that these are kids, trying to do something that is difficult.  AND DIFFICULT THINGS ARE THE ONLY ONES WORTH PURSUING!  So don’t produce steam, produce esteem for what everyone on that field is trying to do.

See you on the field!

Pete

 

Blogpost

Medals, Trophies and Tombstones

IMG_3917I’ve been extremely fortunate through the years to have won some medals and trophies, either individually or as part of a collective.  Most of them are in a box in my basement or in a display case that I don’t have direct access to.  Medals and trophies are all pretty similar.  They usually have a name of an individual or group, a year and the indication of some accomplishment.  As I was thinking about the trophies that teams and individuals are going to reach for this season, I realized that trophies are the tombstones of our past accomplishments.

They do not actually say anything about who we are in this very moment.  Instead they are a reminder of our former self.  Usually that persona is embellished by a form of nostalgia or selective memory.  This is actually not the worst thing in the world if it is employed correctly.  The idea is not to intoxicate ourselves with the image of our past self.  Deluding ourselves into believing that we are better than the flesh and blood that presently exists.  It needs to be used as a stepping stone toward something else.  If we worship our past achievements, they become ghosts.  If we use them as an indicator of our capabilities, then they become fuel for a fire within and path to possibility.

So don’t let your past self die without leaving an inheritance.  Make sure that your trophies are not tombstones but rather mile markers on a path that takes you to higher and higher heights.  You are always the product!  And there is no quicker way to the grave than to believe that all of your best days are behind you.

Keep climbing!

Pete

Blogpost

It’s Not You! It’s Me! (But It’s Really You)

CostanzaGeorge Costanza would not accept it! Upon being dumped by a significant other, she tried to employ the most common of breakup cushioning. “It’s not you! It’s me!” This is an age old ploy to deflect a super direct hit to the ego of the person being dumped. Rather than telling the person the real reasons that they no longer want to be with you, the softener is used.  While it may cushion the short term blow, it does nothing for the long term development of the person as a viable mate.  Costanza, as usual, is an outlier in his stance on “It’s not you!  It’s me!”  He doesn’t want to hear it.  He wants to know that it is his fault that the relationship is falling apart.  While a little aggressive in his approach, maybe it’s time to learn from George.

The finger of blame is wielded around like an oscillating sprinkler head.  It blankets the surrounding area effectively enough but the source never becomes a target.  It creates a two-fold problem that compounds over time.  People, who are unable to hear the truth of their shortcomings, never get beyond them.  Despite being adept at avoiding the mirror’s reflection, they usually become better at noticing the faults of others.  From a perch of perfection, the mere mortals that surround you seem almost foolish in their daily mistakes.  So the cycle of delusion and dispersion continues.  Until there is that extremely uncomfortable face to face meeting with the reality of imperfection.

The way to combat this is to cut it off at the beginning.  Assume that it’s you!  At least partially, if not wholly.  You’re to blame.  You didn’t do enough or did too much.  Put it onto yourself first because at least then you’re in control of it.  You can change something: an action, a habit, a relationship or even just your outlook.  When you take total responsibility for yourself and the things you can control, you’ll find yourself on much more stable ground to influence the people around you to do the same.  You’re not a victim!  You’re a contributor!  If all you have to contribute is blame and excuses, then you’re going to end up alone on your perch of perfection.  Waiting for it to fall!

Pete

 

Uncategorized

If Everyone Is Limping, Stop Going for the Knees!

wnn_kerrigan_140106_wgThe 90s had many memorable events and people.  Kurt Cobain, the OJ Simpson trial, Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton were all extremely noteworthy.  Both for their own unique reasons and the media circus that followed them.  It was not just that something happened but that it was perpetuated daily for probably longer than needed.  One of the most ridiculous stories of the decade was the ice skating scandal involving rivals Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding.  For those too young to remember, the major event was an attack on Kerrigan’s knee orchestrated at least partially by Harding’s ex-husband.  There was a movie released last year called “I, Tonya” that chronicles the entire episode.

Reality had to happen first in this case because even Hollywood could not have come up with a story as far fetched as this.  It’s easy to look back at a time that was truly “last century” and chuckle.  It’s no surprise that from such a chaotic decade sprang reality television.  A weekly public reminder that even though your life might have problems, you can feel good about yourself in comparison to “those people”.

Seeing the problem is always so much easier when it belongs to someone else.  Each of us has within ourselves the solutions to the problems of our friends and family members.  However we all struggle with our own issues that seem so difficult.  Time and distance both seem to have a clarifying effect on the problems of the world.

I’m sure that if the issue of youth soccer politics were someone else’s, each of us would have a plausible solution.  Since it’s now and it’s close to us, the issues of last decade persist with even higher price tags.  Children are pawns and commodities in a game that has nothing to do with soccer but rather egos and territoriality.  This coming fall, an unknown number of player who want to play soccer will not have a team.  Not due to a lack of resources.  Not due an insurmountable distance to travel.  The deciding factor will be a focus on “our club” rather than the kids.  These players end up being acceptable casualties to a soccer culture that is focused on prizes that are apparent and available now.

In so many ways we are now reaping the rewards of our fast food culture.  Rampant obesity, depression, anxiety and others are all symptoms of the NOW culture that we’ve begun to accept as normal.   Even though many people recognize that the ultimate prizes come from long term commitment to small improvements made over years or decades, it is so much easier to sell the cash grab of today.  Risking that small and almost insignificant prize of the short term seems to be almost unbearable.

US26_LogoSo I implore you.  Yep!  I’m talking directly to you because as I said last week, if the USMNT doesn’t win a World Cup by/in 2026, It’s my fault!  So I need some help.  If you have anything to do with youth soccer in this country.  Take the long term view.  See how more kids playing is better for them and better for “US”.  Understand that letting your best player move on to a more appropriate team may hurt your record slightly but it could also be the opportunity that makes that player’s life better, both on and off the field. Realize that your small pond is not actually a pond.  It’s part of a more expansive body.  Trying to keep it separate is an exercise in futility and may cause its destruction when the wrong current comes along.  BE the first person to do the right thing.  It’s often difficult because there is a culture of short sightedness.  People are so used to being hurt that they are either on attack or defense, rarely in a mode to assess.  And more than ever that’s what needs to happen.

I’m sure if this was someone else’s problem, we’d have it all figured out but it’s not.  It’s ours and it’s close to our hearts.  So we get blinded by the shiny thing that’s right in front of us but I swear the bigger jewels are down the road.  The hardest part is foregoing the prize of now because it feels like everything.

US26

Pete

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SoccerLifeBalance

If The USMNT Doesn’t Win The WC By/In 2026, It’s My Fault!

There are some things that are just NOT done in polite American society!  You don’t ask a woman if she’s pregnant.  You don’t talk politics with your in-laws.  You don’t talk about money in mixed company.  And if you’re an American soccer fan, you don’t agree with Alexi Lalas!  I am about to break that last social norm.  Alexi gave a description of the apples to oranges comparison of US Soccer’s failings to the successes of Croatia and Iceland.  I totally agree.  The component pieces of the soccer landscapes and national culture in each country are so completely disparate that comparison is a fool’s errand that is at best click bate and at worst sophisticated soccer tail chasing.  So let’s take the American soccer “watermelon*” and inspect it on its own merit to see where we’re going.

First of all, let’s take the population discussion completely off the table because it is irrelevant on many levels.  Only 2 countries in the top 20 by population have won a World Cup (Brazil and Germany).  Of that same top 20, nine nations have never qualified for a World Cup.  If more people was the answer, China and India would be in the final every four years.  The fact that the US is larger than another country does not indicate that it should be more likely to win (or perform well) at the World Cup.  So it is much more complicated than that.

The story of the nations that have won at least one or even multiple World Cups comes down to a convergence of many factors but probably the most crucial is a soccer (football) culture.  The nations that have been able to win or compete well at World Cups all have a culture that supports and/or increases their success on the field.  Culture, in very general terms, can be characterized by the statement “People like us, do things like this.”  So in those high performing soccer nations, people do several things that perpetuate the high level of play or induce improvement.  Generally speaking this is not a top down process.  Culture is a product of many little decisions made by thousands or millions of individuals, not a handful of powerful individuals making decisions.  So if World Cup success is in the future for the United States, it will follow the adoption of a soccer culture, not create one.

So even though the size of Iceland does not matter, the fact that so many Icelandic people do the Viking clap does.  It sends a message to every single player on the team and child who is adopting the game.  The message is “This matters to us!”  That message changes the daily actions of people.  Given the choice between extra ball work or not, players in those environments recognize that something important is at stake.

With that understanding well established, I will go back to the title.  If the USMNT doesn’t win the World Cup in/by 2026, it’s my fault!  This statement may seem crazy to some but if you’ve been paying attention it becomes plainly obvious.  Culture is created by individual decisions made by the masses.  It’s on ME!  And YOU!  And everyone else attached to this game in the US.  No longer can we hope that copying Barcelona drills or hiring English trainers or attending foreign friendlies on their summer tours is enough.  Every one of us that considers ourselves a part of soccer in the US needs to up their game.  What does that mean?

pulisicIt means action by the many.  In some ways this endeavor is truly in line with American culture (of the past at least).  It is almost inherently American to identify a challenge and conquer it.  For most of our country’s history, that was almost common place.  We (the people) took on monumental tasks as a collective.  Unfortunately we seem to be at a point in history where we expect other people to do it for us.  We can outsource it or it’s the government, corporation or system’s fault that things aren’t going right.  The problem lies with someone else or it’s just too hard and I can’t be bothered.  FUCK THAT!!!  We need to step up for the next eight years!  Not in some grandiose, out of reach way but in simple ways that can have a cumulative effect.  The main thing that will be required is a long term view.  So here are some of my suggestions based on a variety of perspectives.  It’s by no means a complete list but it’s a start.  Add your own thoughts in the comments.

  • Watch MLS games – More eyes = more dollars = better players = better league = better US player pool.  If you watch the EPL or la Liga but don’t watch MLS, you need to start.  I know that MLS is not as good as the top leagues at the moment.  However if we don’t pay attention now, it won’t have the monetary resources to get better.
  • Focus on players getting better  – If you’re a parent, coach, or associated with youth soccer in any other way; put progress of the player over the result on the day.  This is so extremely difficult for people to embrace because the desire for status is so hardwired into our minds.  One of the reasons that we continue to struggle on the international stage is that we are enamored with being the biggest fish in the small pond.
  • Be active – There are all kinds of ways that the US soccer culture could improve but it needs people to do.  Passivity is only going to perpetuate mediocrity.  Let your voice be heard, your actions be seen and your passion be felt.  You matter in this endeavor.

As you finish up reading this article, I hope that you have a small inkling of the feeling that I have.  It’s only a matter of time before the US wins a World Cup.  Soccer is no longer the game for everyone else but US.  The momentum of the sport in this country is well on its way but now it needs our help to reach escape velocity.  To overcome the inertia of ambivalence and low expectations, WE all must do our small part to reach the highest of heights.  But there are no guarantees.  WE must bet on the fact that together it will be enough.  And if it’s not!  IT’S MY FAULT!

Pete

 

*I’ve chosen a watermelon because it is my favorite fruit.  It’s also large but lacks overpowering flavor and its seeds are possibly potent but they are often discarded or made to disappear before they can materialize.