Month: April 2020

Blogpost, self-reliance

Jello Jenga

Pete Huryk

I didn’t realize before I started writing this that it was a drinking game. For me it’s actually just a concept that I’ve been thinking about recently. Under normal circumstances, the game of Jenga (even the drinking kind) is played with some form of wood blocks arranged in a tower type construction. A player must remove a block and put it on top of the stack without causing the entire thing to collapse. It takes some concentrations and manual dexterity.

As I have been thinking about people and their problems recently, I imagine that many people would love for life to work something like Jenga. Identify the problem, remove it and put it someplace/discard it. The mental image works to a certain extent but our lives, problems, fears, and anxieties are not firm and solid things. They are much more fluid and unstable like jello. So imagine the tower of jello rectangles, wobbling and shaking, as you try to remove one of the blocks. Although it may be possible to get it out, it’s not going to be a neat and tidy operation. It will probably take several attempts. Half of the block may remain stuck in the space and require a different angle of approach. In addition to the extraction, there is the eventual sagging into the open space. It may have been one block that was removed but it affected all of the blocks around it in some way. The ripple effect may be felt throughout the entire structure.

My point here is not to create a very messy new game for people to try. Quite the opposite, it’s a game that you’re already playing. My entire point is to give a framework for dealing with some of the issues that people have. Quitting smoking, overcoming anxiety, dealing with depression and so many other extractions are going to be messy but they are possible. Humans were never intended to work like the machines that surround our world at the moment. We are fluid, ever-changing and imperfect structures that require a high level of care.

So as you go out into your life today. Survey your situation and see if any wobbly and sticky situations need to be removed. Using this idea as a framework, start to dislodge them. Just remember, that it’s not always going to be simple or pretty but you can figure it out even if it requires a spoon.

Have a great day people!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Left Foot Psychology

Pete Huryk

It’s almost comically predictable at this point! The responses that I’m bound to hear when I say, “Ok, let’s do the same skill with your non-dominant (usually left) foot.” Most players will reply with “My left sucks!” or “I can’t do this with my left.” Other grumbles will be heard but I don’t let them linger for too long. I know that it is not so much their left foot that needs work, it’s their mindset.

After over twenty years of coaching and teaching, I am not surprised anymore. The same patterns of problems keep coming up over and over again. It’s not because people lazy, stupid or indifferent. One of the main reasons that people don’t do the things that they need to do is that they are trying to protect themselves. Their weaknesses are safety blankets that protect them from an effort toward something that might not work out. It’s not truly the effort that they are scared to put in. The uncertainty of the outcome combined with the effect that “failure” (real or perceived) would have on their self-image are the true obstacles.

So in my practice, it is my job to create a place where we redefine failure. Failure is not trying! Success is 1% improvement. If you missed the goal by 10 yards on the first attempt, then missing by 9.5 on the second is a success. This redefinition of success and failure gives an open invitation to effort and protects their self-image.

Most of us are not working with a coach on a daily basis. No one is redefining success and failure for us, so we stick with that safety blanket approach. We protect our self-image because it is important for us to feel good about ourselves or at least comfortable with who we are. The exercise regiment, new eating habits, relationship tweaks, etc. are not safe because if we tried and it didn’t work out, what would that say about us? It would mean we’re a success.

That’s right! It was easy enough to see the efficacy with little kids kicking a ball but as soon as it is our weakness, it seems much more complicated but it’s not. Trying is your new measure of success. (Yeah, Yeah! There is no try. F$#% Yoda for the moment) Once you’ve tried, then any small smidge of improvement is something to be celebrated. You jog 100 yards on Monday. Then on Tuesday you do 101, that’s success. Perfection is not attainable and movie style miracles are not coming your way any time soon. So get up off your a$$ and put your left foot forward!

Have a great day people!

Pete