Monthly Archives: August 2018

I’m Afraid to Try

“You don’t want to get mixed up with a guy like me.  I’m loner Dottie, A REBEL!” -Pee Wee Herman (Pee Wee’s Big Adventure)

DannyZukoThis line is from the quite ridiculous but still entertaining Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.  And it was co-opted by the band The Get Up Kids as a song title in the 90’s.  The song outlines one perspective of a short term love affair where the singer refuses to give the relationship a chance.  In his own words, “because I’m afraid to try.”  It’s an old story that probably precedes Danny Zuko in Grease.  Boy meets girl.  Boy likes girls.  Boy wants to leave while things are still fun and casual because a relationship is just too much work.

It’s applicable to so many things but relationships are possibly the easiest target.  In a world where Tinder and OkCupid are facilitators of the present dating scene, this mindset will probably get more widespread.  The fast and easy wins out over the slow build (which is perceived as a grind).  Of course this is only perception.  Reality holds millions of possibilities.  For many, a life with one person is a much more joyous existence than the shallowness of singles life.  Regardless of which way you lean, it’s not really the point.  The point is the actual words.  “I’m afraid to try!”  It’s not, “I’m afraid to commit!” or “I’m afraid that I’ll get hurt!”  It’s “I’m afraid to try!”

This is probably the most dangerous thing that I see from not just young people but people in general.  There is a fear of trying.  Putting yourself out there has the perception of being difficult.  And in the younger generation, it is chastised because for some reason “try hard” is now an insult.  Much like nerd or geek of the past, this is a completely idiotic strategy as a culture.  Demean those who excel in order to make the average feel better about themselves.  (But I digress)  The thing is that people have become so accustomed to guarantees that effort toward an unknown is just too scary.  There’s no point in following a rainbow because a pot of gold is not waiting for us.

It’s time to buck the trend.  TRYING (no offense to Yoda!) is often the point.  Finding our limits.  Pressing up against what is possible.  Discovering new territory is exactly the point!  Imagine where we would be if through history, we were this risk averse.  We’d be dead!  Hunters wouldn’t have had any assurances of catching any prey, so why go out to hunt?

Your survival and progress as human being depends on THE TRY!  So go out there today with the intention and determination to try.  It doesn’t need to be something monumental.  It just needs to be outside of your comfort zone.  An experiment, an attempt, a risk, a small gamble.  That’s the only way to move forward.  One little try at a time.  And I’ll suggest that you deny the teenage ridicule by TRYING HARD!

Have a great day people!

Pete

 

 

I Refuse to Lose Your Race

In high school, I ran track and field. High jump and long jump were my specialties but I also won points for the team in some of the sprints. Track is a completely different animal than most other sports. Although it’s a team competition, most of the events are competed as individuals. Much of a track meet is spent waiting around for your event to take place. So they end up being long affairs because all of the races are run on the same surface.

The longest race that was run in my area was the two mile. It could get time consuming if there were slow runners. So the officials would have the slow 2 milers move to the outside lanes and start the next race. It was pretty easy to tell the difference between someone running a slow 2 mile and the 400 meter relay, so it was an effective way to use the common space. Imagine though that the officials ran every single race at the same time. It would be chaos! Tracking who was leading which event would be difficult if not impossible. Despite this fact, it begins to paint a picture of the challenge that many people have internally and society may have externally.

The metaphor of a track and field competition is a useful one. Although time and distance are the two major measurements used, there are other factors that play heavily into certain events. A javelin thrower cares very little about the time of his run up but very much about his arm mechanics. The fact that all of the athletes are focusing on different components in order to get different results mirrors much of our perception of success in life.

People are gauging their success in different ways and for different reasons. Much like the simultaneous track events, it’s easy to get confused about whether you’re leading or trailing when comparing yourself with others. If you’re focus is on having a spectacular family life, you may feel like a failure when comparing your wealth to someone who is judging themselves only on the monetary metric. It’s a fool’s errand to try to beat someone at a game that you’re not even playing.

So the thing to do is Decide! Decide on the games that you’re playing. For sure you can play the family and monetary game simultaneously but recognizing that your attention is split between the two will keep you from caring about the 30 other games that are going on. Win on your own terms in the things that are important to you. You’re much more likely to enjoy the game when you set up the rules and keep score!