It is one of the most ridiculous but still extremely cool (in my own head) memories from my twenties. I had just bought my first new car! Later that week, I had an appointment to put a six disk CD changer into the trunk. However at that very moment, all I had was the car’s cassette player to blast music. Another problem was that I hadn’t planned ahead with the perfect “New Car Mixtape”. With limited options, I went into Walmart in Newton, NJ and picked up the Limp Bizkit album with the song “Rollin'” on it. So there I was in my green FOUR DOOR Honda Civic with the censored version of Rollin’ playing at full blast. I was boppin’ my head like I was the coolest person on the planet. My guess is that at least one or two people heard me coming, took a look and thought “what a f’ing idiot?” That scene is probably less ridiculous than me bopping my head to the same song walking down a nature path with joggers and mom’s with strollers walking by. My twenty something self had the excuse of youth. What’s my forty-six year old excuse? I don’t need one!
Those “new car smell” moments don’t come along often. There’s often a long time between the standout memories of our lives. Some of them we don’t see coming and others are so scripted and planned out, they might even lose their luster. The imperfections of that day actually make it that much better in my mind. If I had done it all perfectly, then it might not have stuck in the same way. All of the ridiculousness of my actions made it mine and I didn’t really care what onlookers thought. Isn’t that what the best moments are like? When you don’t give f%$# what anyone else thinks because this one is important to you.
Thousands of filtered pictures, perfect poses and choreographed photos are nothing compared to that moment when you actually feel alive. Where you know exactly who you are and what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. From the outside it may look like a dumpster fire next to a manure pile but who cares? If you are being yourself in the moment and people don’t fully get it, that’s fine! Keep rollin’! More than likely, the people who are looking at you with shock and horror aren’t your people anyway. The way you feel about yourself when you’re by yourself is extremely important. I know for my own part, I’m going to keep going after those authentic moments. Even if I do sometimes “look like a fool.”