Blogpost, self-reliance

The Teenage Ten (The 10 Movies High School Boys Should Watch and Why)

Movies are a spectacular medium for telling a story and also relating a message.  One of the main reasons that I believe that movies can be so transformative is that they work a lot like memories.  They are not the full story because showing every small detail would be exhausting and detract from the overall point.  Also they tend to be “larger than life” which is what we often do with our memories.  We do not have a completely accurate recollection of the situation, often our emotion about the situation tends to give more color to them.

For these reasons and many others, movies are great teachers.  They give us audience to experiences that we may have never had.  It’s done in safe environment.  We can have peak emotions while taking whatever information is on display and assimilate it as our own.  Below is my list of movies that a high school age boy-man should see in order and what they should extract from them.  They are listed in a tenuous order where the lessons build on top of each other but in the binge watching culture of today, the order may not matter as much.  By the end of this list there may be an accusation that I have a “man crush” on Matt Damon but that crown belongs to Ryan Reynolds!

There are a ton of spoilers in the descriptions of each movie.  So if you want to go in with a clean slate, just refer the list below to start and return to this post for the descriptions and takeaways:

  1. The Martian
  2. The Matrix
  3. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
  4. Rocky
  5. The Breakfast Club
  6. The Wizard of Oz
  7. Dead Poet’s Society
  8. Rounders
  9. Swingers
  10. Good Will Hunting

 

MartianThe Martian (2015) – This movie has probably the most overarching message that young men need to have ingrained.  Each of us has exactly one job on this planet or that planet:  FCO (Figure Crap Out).  Throughout this great story, Matt Damon’s character keeps getting sucker punched by circumstances.  Every time that he comes up with an answer, a new problem arises.  Despite all of issues that he has, his determination to FCO is the key component to his success and the lesson that needs to be carried out of the movie.  I use the acronym FCO because “responsibility” seems stuffy and oppressive but that’s all that I’m talking about.  The ability to respond to a situation coupled with the recognition that it’s on you to do so.  Thumbs are a feature that separates humans from much of the animal kingdom.  Although they help with our ability to grasp things, I believe in the concept of “thumbs before fingers.”  Point at yourself first with the thumb before pointing at anyone else with the finger.

matrixThe Matrix (1999) –  After the Martian, the next step is to recognize that each of us has exactly one possession in this world: the mind.  The body and the mind are definitively linked but “the body cannot live without the mind.”  This movie can be taken to so many places philosophically.  The main one that I would focus on to begin with is that of belief.  While the Martian had a focus on the ability to respond, it takes belief in one’s abilities to engage with situations.  Although uploading information directly to the brain through a computer program has not happened (yet), the picture painted is relatively accurate.  In order to navigate successfully through life, one must acquire skills.  As skills are layered one on top of the other, belief is constructed.  Unlike the Matrix, this takes time and deliberate effort in the real world but it is worth it.  Believing in yourself long enough to make things happen is crucial.

Walter mittThe Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) – I would absolutely love for all of the philosophical concepts covered in this movie to hit home with the young men who watch it.  Right down to the LIFE motto which has so much to offer.  However if just one thing was to be extracted from this film, the idea of connecting your dream world to the real world would be it.  Humans are special in a variety of ways but our ability to imagine things then make them happen is one of our greatest strengths.  Walter’s life starts out as a collection of day dreams where he escapes his reality.  In the end, he starts engaging with life and has better experiences than most of his daydreams.  All of our actions start in our minds but if they stay there, then they only exist in the hypothetical.  We must transpose our dreams into the real world in order to give them life.

RockyRocky (1976) – You’re going to lose!  This may not seem like a very positive message to take in.  However at times, the odds are going to be so astronomically against you that it may seem like trying isn’t worth it.  People are going to tell you that you’re crazy.  In those circumstances, you need to find a version of success that is in line with who you are and stretch yourself.  There are magical moments throughout this film including the 14th round knockdown.  Probably the most important comes prior to the fight where Rocky admits to himself and the woman that he loves, exactly who he is and what he expects of himself.  Power is not always displayed through a punch.  Often power is ability to be vulnerable and defenseless to the people that matter.  Although most of the movies thus far have focused on going for the prizes that are out there to be won, Rocky is a reminder that winning is not everything.  There are ways to go through life as a “success” without winning every time.  So be prepared to be punched in the face!

wizard of ozThe Wizard of Oz (1939) – Like so many of the movies on this list, there are a variety of takeaways.  Even though the main character is a teenage girl on an adventure to get herself home, I’ll focus on the great and powerful Oz.  This is a man who has created  a reputation of great prestige and power for himself.  In the end, he is only a small man hiding behind a curtain who is trying to project a fearsome alter ego.  Each and every one of us will have to put a version of ourselves out into the world.  Many of the people that you will meet will be exactly like the Wizard of Oz, lots of theatrics to make themselves seem important.  Eventually we realize that the Wizard was valuable because of what he had to offer the travelers, not his big persona.  So as you project yourself into the world decide who you will be.  Also be on the look out for people who are hiding behind the curtain.

BreakfastThe Breakfast Club (1985) – I’d like to believe that the walls of cliques in high schools have broken down slightly since this movie came out.  Unfortunately I don’t know that it’s true.  Even if it is, there are still valuable things to be taken from the film.  Mostly it involves self-reflection and understanding your place within the social strata of your world.  Ideally everyone in your school, town, etc. would get along wonderfully.  Unfortunately that’s not very realistic.  So recognizing how you perceive and are perceived by others is extremely important.  You don’t need to live in the box that others try to put you into but knowing that you’ve been put in the box helps if you want to break out of it.

DeadPoetsDead Poet’s Society (1989) –  Similar to The Breakfast Club, the ideas of conformity and living in a school community are on full display.  Whether it is teachers, parents or peers; there will always be pressures to become what other people want you to be.  There is nothing wrong with people trying to influence you.  Generally it is done with a certain amount of caring for your well being.  However the teenage years are a time for self-discovery.  Figuring out who it is that you want to be.  I’m not calling for all out revolt against the powers that are trying to influence you.  But rather a recognition of the pull of the things that make you feel most alive versus the push of those in positions of power in your life.  In most cases there is a balance to be struck.  The death of Neil toward the end of the film is a cautionary tale about failing to communicate.  The Dead Poet’s Society is all about expressing one’s self honestly.  Try to find your voice.

RoundersRounders (1998) – On a surface level this movie is absolutely about poker but it has several layers underneath that are worth exploring for a young man.  First is the concept of friendships and loyalty.  The movie does a good job of putting loyalty on full display while also warning against blind loyalty to people who may no longer deserve it.  The reason why I truly put this movie on the list is the scene with Mike in the Russian bath house.  He tells Joey Knish about an encounter with Johnny Chan.  “I’m just going to outplay the guy, this hand.”  So many of us get overwhelmed by how big our goals are in this world when it all comes down to this.  Are you going to give it your all in this moment?  Are you willing to bet on yourself?  If you’re not, then who else will?

Swingers.jpgSwingers (1996) – This movie is on the list for a very specific purpose.  As a young man gets into the dating world, there is bound to be rejection either external or internal.  Although you may never hear the word “no” from a girl but there is still rejection because you rejected the idea of asking.  The story that each of us has running inside of our own heads about who we are and what we are capable of is crucial.  After years of being tentative with women in the singles world, Swingers gave me a new insight.  If I approached a girl and she “rejected” me, it had very little to do with me and more to do with her perception of me and the perception I projected.  This is a skill like any other that must be honed and practiced over time.  The “bear” discussion between Mike and Trent in the middle of the movie is the key.  There are ancillary parts about dealing with a breakup but overall this movie got me to believe in all that I had at my disposal to “kill the bunny”.

GoodWillGood Will Hunting (1997) – This is another film that has layers to it.  Although it could be dissected from a variety of angles.  We’ll focus in on the romantic relationship.  Will has put up walls and created masks to protect himself from both past and future pain.  That constant state of protection keeps him from all of the possibility that is banging at his door.  He is so afraid to admit who he is that he creates a fake world that he shows to other people and denies possible opportunities to move on to a better existence.  His relationship with Skylar is tumultuous at best but that is a result of his protection strategy.  The movie Swingers was all about how to get your foot in the door long enough to get someone interested.  Once you are inside, you need to let the other person see who you are.  Teenage relationships are supposed to be like chemistry experiments.  They are supposed to blow up in your face from time to time but you learn and progress based on what you’ve learned.  If you are always in protection mode in order to avoid being hurt, no one will see your imperfections.  That may seem like a great strategy until you actually find someone who you want to let in, you’ll have no practice.  

These are most definitely not the only movies available that could have an impact on a young man’s life.  These are just the ones that I’ve selected at the moment.  I’m sure that each person out there has at least one that could be added with good reason.  So in the comments below, give me your suggestions.  Even I had trouble keeping it to just ten.  Below is my honorable mention.  So with that film in mind as I finish this post up, don’t just be a consumer!  Take these films into your life (RESPONSIBLY of course!)

Enjoy!

Pete

Honorable Mention

VeterinarianFight Club (1999) – This is a film with great possibility but it comes with a lot of distractions for the young teenage mind.  So I put it on the list very tentatively realizing that many will get sidetracked by the sex, violence and mayhem; missing the point completely.  Although Fight Club focuses principally on the underground club that encourages violence and eventually mass destruction, the key component to the entire story is the relationship between the “two” main characters.  The two is in quotations because they are both Tyler Durden.  Tyler is split in two.  Each version brings something to the table but Brad Pitt’s character leads the charge into uncharted territory.  He is everything that the other version of himself is not.  He’s confident and capable!  This is taken to the extreme of course but it is something all of us have within us.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Blogpost, self-reliance

Amazon Doesn’t Work Like The Amazon (The Balance of Being Human Today)

RightNowThe past was a simpler time in many ways!  There’s no doubt about it.  The complexity of the world has jumped exponentially.  Despite its complexity, human beings remain relatively the same.  The complexity is around us, not within us.  So it is possible to keep the effects of the world at bay if we remember that we are part of the “natural order” of things.  In most cases we act much more like animals than machines.  Despite this fact, we expect ourselves to work similar to machines or want results to show up machine time.

Our ancestors understood that the amount of time spent hunting was far greater than the amount of time spent eating.  This proportion is a natural occurrence.  Obviously there would be times when a quick hunt would happen but it could not be relied upon.  The same was true of the harvest.  While the farmers did less “intense” labor than the hunters, it was stretched out over a longer period of time.  Again the time and effort spent obtaining the desired outcome was far greater than the time enjoying it.  However these proportions were in line with expectation.  So people prepared and adjusted for them.  Now we live in the world of Amazon, INSTAgram, SNAPchat and Uber.

These services and other recent cultural norms are not bad if they are kept in context.  The separation of modern expectations from “natural” phenomena is the key component to surviving the complexity of our world.  Trust is not one click away.  Overnight shipping is not available on love.  Physical fitness is not dependent on an application but rather dedication over time.  Keeping the expectations for the enjoyment of results in correct proportion to the necessary inputs to obtain those results is the key.  This balance can be difficult for people to maintain because the call of the modern context is so enticing.  Why would you spend months going to the gym when you can swallow a pill?

My hope for you is that you’re able to see past the false advertising.  Many of the things that you want are not available “On Demand” and that’s OK.  If everything were as easy as one click shopping, it would cheapen the peak experiences of life.  Time, struggle, intention, effort, passion and so many more ingredients are the appropriate price tags for what is truly important in this world.  It is those people that keep in line with their nature as humans who will avoid the trappings of the modern world.  So go out there today and get whatever it is that you want but don’t click on “one day shipping”!  Enjoy the process instead!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Challenge for June!

RunningI’m continuing to challenge myself going into the month of June.  Last month I did not eat until I posted a blog.  This month, my focus is on my exercise routine.  Each day I will do what I refer to as 2 out of 5.  I’ve developed a list of 5 exercises to choose from each day.  In order to meet my requirement each day, I must complete two of the five from the list but cannot repeat the same exercises two days in a row.  The intention is to build consistency into my regimen while maintaining some variety.  We shall see what this does.  Below is my list of five:

  • Run 2 miles or more.
  • Do 250 push-ups or more.
  • Do 125 air squats.
  • Run 10 sprints or more (100 meters)
  • Do St. Johns for 25 or more. (AB rotation: Each exercise done for 25 reps or more, crunches, jack knives, one legged jack knives (each leg), scissors, heal touches, mason twists, 1 minute plank)

While I’m putting this out in public to hold myself accountable, I’m also happy to help anyone else looking to challenge themselves.  If you’d like to take the month of June in order to get a little more consistency to your workouts, feel free to reach out.

Get things done!

Pete

Blogpost

A Month on the Hook

IMG_4495For the month of May, I decided to commit to publishing a blog post every day.  The stipulation was that if I did not publish a post, I would not eat until I did.  Today is the last day of my successful endeavor.  I was able to hold true to my word for the entire month.  There were definitely hours of hunger where procrastination seemed like the only thing that was on my plate.  But each day the publish button got pressed before the food went in.  Below are some reflections on the experiment and things to consider moving forward.

Stakes matter! – There were definitely times during the month that I would not have published a post under normal circumstances.  In the past, I’ve averaged about five posts per month.  I would only post when I felt “inspired”.  Even though I forced myself to go back to the keyboard every day, there was always something there to put out because there had to be.

Rules need to fit the actual outcome you want – For this experiment, I wanted to get my production up for sure.  The rules definitely did that but…  If I were to set up rules for posting a certain level of quality more often, I’d amend the rules in order to focus more on quality rather than quantity.  Such as I would require myself to write a blog post every day before eating but the publishing would be done more sparsely.  That way there is more of an editing process.

What’s your word worth? – Holding one’s self accountable is difficult.  Some people have trouble keeping their word when it is only them who knows.  They need an accountability partner or some other form of public pressure.  The key is to know who you are rather than assuming that what works for others will work for you.  I make deals like this with myself often, the other running one is about my consumption of iced tea.  If you need that extra push of being accountable to others, don’t worry about it.   The tools that work in the real world are the ones that matter, not the ones that work in our imagination.

Going the distance – As with any other endeavor, it’s best to sign up for a game that you have a marginal chance of winning.  As a first time experiment, a year would have been an overwhelming amount of time.  I’m not even sure that I would have made it a month if the length was a year.  It would have been too much too soon.  Now that I know that I can make a month, if it fit in with my life goals, setting a six month challenge for myself would be reasonable.  There’s no reason to set impossible goals for yourself just to impress people.  Your results are more important than your intentions.

Results – By writing every day, I was able to beat my average reads for the past year by 400% and the last day of May is not quite over yet.  Now I recognize that I raised my posting by 600% but I can definitely say that there was a positive impact.  My international numbers went up in certain areas.  I also had more “LIKE” and subscribes in the past month than any prior.  Also the number of old posts that were viewed by new readers was impressive.  So overall, I am chalking this experience up as a success.  I’m going to take portions of it and continue using them to improve my blog output.  However next month, I think I’m going to move my focus to my exercise routine and see what improvement I can make there.

Thanks for following!

Pete

Blogpost

Like as a Four Letter Word

IMG_3202At a certain point too much of something becomes its opposite.  The drug that could save your life becomes poison.  Too much time and attention from a significant other, no longer feels warm and fuzzy, it feels weird and creepy.  The key to keeping this from happening is to keep from overdosing on something.  At the moment, if I’m being honest, I’m LIKED out.

Growing up in the ’80s and the “Vally Girl” movement, you would have thought that it would have happened earlier.  However it is only recently that the word like has become so pervasive that it feels like its opposite.  No longer do I want to ‘like’ anything because it feels meaningless, a throw away compliment because it’s time to move onto the next thing.  Perhaps it is time to dismiss the notion of ‘liking’ every thing that you like and only ‘like’ the things that you love.  By putting this plan into action, it reduces the number of ‘likes’ to go around.  Only the truly special will be donned with this moniker.

In life our most precious resource is our time.  If all we do is like the time that we spend on this earth, then maybe we should hold out for more loves rather than drowning in likes.  They might take some more effort to find but at least everything won’t feel like different flavors of vanilla.

Find the peaks of experience today!

Pete

Blogpost

The Battle You’re Not Fighting

NormandyIt’s extremely easy to get caught up in your own narrative.  Look at it as if it is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  History is often told from only one perspective.  The English probably don’t spend much time on the Battle of Bunker Hill in their history books.  However there are always at least two sides to the story, if not more.  It is difficult to avoid getting caught up in one narrative because we experience the world from only one perspective.  No matter how difficult it may be to remember, it is key to relationships to understand that people are fighting a battle that you probably don’t understand.

The convenient thing about history is that there is too much of it to uncover every single situation and devote pages in books, areas of museums or time in documentaries.  So historians must edit history to fit a narrative about a nation, people or group.  We do the same things in our minds but our editing faculty can be skewed by emotion.  We are rarely objective about the importance of the moments of our lives.  So it stands to reason that we would have even more trouble being objective about someone else’s experience or stepping into their subjective experience and the emotion that goes with it.

So it is in all of our best interest to see the people around us as fellow soldiers.  We are all in a fight of some sort.  Although we may think we have a front row seat to the battle that other people are fighting, there is a layer that we cannot cross without letting go of our own struggle to reach out with understanding.  Recognizing that we have common ground as soldiers but separated by a distance that cannot be measured in miles.  It doesn’t matter if you’re fighting “The Great War”, every battle matters most to the ones who are in it.

Put up the good fight today!

Pete

Blogpost

Make UNTIL a Power Word

Until is usually a middle of the sentence kind of word. Something to be overlooked. However when used properly, it has real power. It takes self control though.

Until puts something that you want to do up against something you need to do. When until is used this way, it can be life altering. But you don’t get to reap the rewards UNTIL you use it!

Blogpost, self-reliance

That Diploma in Your Hand (What It Does and Does Not Say)

Senior High School PhotoIt is graduation season!  Whether high school or college or even pre-school, millions of students will be walking forward to receive their diplomas.  This tradition has carried on for centuries and will probably continue into the foreseeable future.  The act of public recognition of achievement is extremely important.  It releases a cascade of chemicals into our systems that act as a reward/marker for the accomplishment.  Our feelings are what drive us to do almost everything in our lives.  So the event is important but what about the paper?  What does it say or not say about us as individuals?

The things, that a diploma is, are numerous.  It is a certificate of completion of requirements.  Depending on the level of study, it may indicate certain levels of outstanding performance.  It is a signal of a certain level of commitment.  At the university level, it is almost a form of tribalism that uses the reputation of the institution to in theory say something about the individual.  All of these and many more are things that a diploma may say.  But even more important for graduates at the moment is what a diploma does not say.

It does not say:

  • That you’re done learning.
  • That you’re smart.
  • That the world now owes you something.
  • That you won’t need to reprove that you deserved to earn the diploma.
  • That you are less than, equal to or better than anyone else with a diploma or without one.
  • That you’re stuck pursuing that one thing for the rest of your life.
  • That the value of the diploma won’t change over time.

Obviously this is just a short list but at this point you probably get the picture.  A diploma is a piece of paper.  In the end it is not the paper that matters, it is you!  You are the one who will go out into the world to make things happen.  Pinning that paper to your chest to use as a shield against all future challenges is a poor strategy.  INSTEAD use the diploma as a milestone.  A marker that delineates the difference between one portion of your life and another.  The story that we tell ourselves about ourselves is extremely important.  So recognize that the paper is flimsy, easily tarnished and not very valuable on its own because another copy is available at a price.  However you have the ability to be anything that you decide to be regardless of the paper.  You are what truly matters and your continued pursuit of life will be the record that you will be judged upon.  There is no other copy of you, even if you’re a twin.  Take your individuality and mix it with what you have learned and pursue those things that create energy within you.  Build a life that you will be excited to get up and live every day!

Best of luck to all of the graduates!

Pete

Uncategorized

The Thirteen Year Safety Net

HighWireWalkerIn the 1970’s Philippe Petit walked a high wire strung between the Twin Towers in New York City.  It was an amazing feat that was a result of a slow but steady progression of skill and daring over years.  The film “Man On Wire” is a great documentary about the planning and execution of his walk.  A slight warning that if you are afraid of heights, you may feel uneasy.  Even though you are safe from any imminent danger, you may feel dizzy or tingly based on the images.  I cannot imagine how Philippe Petit felt during the walk, over one thousand feet in the air without a net!  Sure, he had years of experience and successful walks but the scale of this endeavor dwarfed everything else.  It is easy to look at Philippe and say that he is special, talented or even crazy.  Closer to the truth is probably that he was passionate about pursuing something to an extreme level.  The use of a net negates the entire reason that he was walking in the first place.  Under no circumstances and am I suggesting that a tight rope walk from dizzying height should be be in anyone’s future (I’m one of those people who tingles just seeing the photos).  I am suggesting that the intersection of passion and stakes is a place of power.  It’s someplace that we need to become more comfortable going to.

Unfortunately at the moment, we seem to be faced in the opposite direction.  The formative years of youth and adolescence are spent with nothing but safety nets around.  Whether it is literal foam padding to avoid injury or systems that are meant to insulate young people from failure, responsibility or any other stakes that could injure physically or emotionally.  The dichotomy of these systems are interesting because they protect in the short term and potentially injure in the long term.  Finding the balance of those two extremes is the name of the game.  Philippe did not start out on the roof of the World Trade Center.  Those stakes would have been overwhelming.  His passion for walking the tight rope also would not have grown if he never went higher than six inches off the ground.

For each one of us, we have things that could grow into passions but we are afraid to raise the stakes.  Failing, looking foolish and uncertainty are being trained out of our young people.  We have given many young people a “safe space” but the counterweight needs to be put into place as well otherwise we do not have a creative space.  All creation is messy, uncertain and possibly even dangerous.  We are born from a series of chances taken with an element of risk.  So to protect our future generations from that risk is robbing them of what is to be human.

As I often say to my players, “to be a leader, you need to go first”.  So if you have young people in your life, be a model of a balance in both passion and risk.  Perhaps you also need to break out of the foam rubber because comfort and security are things that many of us desire.  Unfortunately they also allow for little emotional intensity which is what passion is all about.  Go!  Take a chance!  Maybe even a small one and be an example for those onlookers who need someone to show them what is possible!

Philippe didn’t leap but he had to take a step off the edge and you can too!

Pete

Blogpost

Would You Know a Good Ref If You Saw One?

refereeToday my son’s game had an extremely good referee group.  The center referee and his two linesmen called the game very well.  Despite the fact that they did a great job and got the majority of the calls right (even the ones that went against my son’s team), there were still complaints from parents.  Which made me wonder if people really have any idea what makes for a good referee or if they just want calls to go in their team’s favor?  Here are some thoughts to consider.

The level matters – Recognize that the job of a referee changes as the age and the level of play changes.  At the lowest levels, the referee is part of a learning process.  Their job is more about managing the understanding of the game rather than calling “fouls”.  Often the sidelines are complaining about things that are poor body control and not actually a foul.  The higher levels require much more reading of the flow of the game.  A good referee will identify possible problems developing in the play.  Their use of cards, advantage, player discussions and fouls called/not called will depend largely upon their reading of the game and individual’s roles within in it.  So as you are watching a game, give some thought as to the level of soccer being played and what the referee’s role truly is at that level.

Perspective matters – By design, referees are intended to be a neutral third party at the game.  So they are not carrying the bias that most of us bring to the game.  Their decisions are based upon what they see and not what they feel.  This creates another issue for most fans because their vantage point is completely different from that of the referee’s.  So it is not only possible but actually completely accurate to say that fans and referees have seen a different game.  Most of the time this is done with no instant replay, no VAR with different camera angles.  This is done live with twenty two players running in all directions and possibly screening the view.  Despite these major obstacles, perfection is the standard that many expect.

The Laws are the Laws – A good referee will call the game based on the laws of the game, not public perception of what the laws are.  There are many things that are commonly shouted from fans or even coaches about things that do not apply to the Laws of the game.  “Winning the ball” for example does not make a player immune from having a foul called against them.  If the play is deemed to be reckless, then a foul is appropriate regardless of who won the ball.  A large number of players, fans and coaches have only a cursory knowledge of the Laws that are based more on hearsay rather than actual study.

Obviously this is just a small sample but each is worth considering.  The game requires referees and the good ones need to be identified, praised and promoted.  I fear that many people involved in the soccer world would not be able to identify a good referee if they saw one.  That is unfortunate because that means that people are unable to see past their own desires.  Most of the soccer played in this country is youth soccer.  Therefore the majority of children are getting a skewed view of right and wrong.  Right means in my favor and wrong means anything else.  The ability to be objective could be lost.