It’s an odd thing to write for someone like me. I’m hellbent on helping people. My writing and speaking are all about tools, tricks and techniques for getting you farther forward than you are now. Despite all that desire, I have to realize that, I GIVE YOU NOTHING! It’s not just me though. Books, movies, podcasts, lectures, schools, universities, coaches and so many other media are stillborn UNTIL… you breathe life into them.
It seems as though there is an overarching belief in the power of the other. “This book is going to change my life.” “This coach is making me a better player.” In the end the truth is that no one can change you without you. You are the key ingredient! In the case of many people, the missing ingredient. There is so much out there but nothing until you do your part.
So today I give you nothing because it’s exactly what you need. You need to know that no one is coming to save you. Ed McMahon is not showing up with a check! Superman is not coming to carry you away to a beach vacation! And you aren’t getting rock hard abs by watching commercials, you get them by doing the sit-ups. You probably don’t need more information, you need more action. Take a bunch of the tidbits that you’ve let die on your dreams list and make them happen because only YOU CAN!
Make a great day!
Man has created several “boxes” to travel in. They have been created to make certain types of travel quicker and safer. The most literal box is the elevator. It makes travel between floors of a building faster. In the beginning there was danger of cables breaking or other malfunctions but elevators have become ever faster and safer over the years. We have several other boxes, which gain in speed and safety as we pass through time: the car, the train, the airplane and the list goes on. Traveling in boxes has become a way of life for most people. We depend upon them heavily.
As we progress further into the modern world, we seem to desire for all things to be safe and efficient. We sanitize everything to protect us from unseen germs. Our laws call for the use of helmets, belts and harnesses. Parents do their best to keep their kids from all kinds of harm by watching their every move. Some schools don’t give an F as a grade because it might hurt a child’s self esteem. It is almost as if people want a bubble to protect them from any kind of danger.
The problem with bubble living is that it takes away our humanity. All things worth having involve some form of risk. I’m not a thrill seeker by any stretch of the imagination. So I’m not talking about life and death risk but rather the risk of failure, discomfort or embarrassment. It is only when we take those chances that we are truly alive. Trees were not created with elevators because you need to chance the fall in order make the climb. Only in the climbing do we find out what we are truly capable of. Look for the people who stretch beyond comfort and safety, you will find the people that you admire most. Look for the people who live inside “the bubble” of safety, decide if they are the model for what you want for your life. Most likely you’ll want to burst the bubble and get outside the box!
Break out today!
The role of a captain can be very important on a soccer team. I say “can be” because on some teams, the captain does nothing more than the coin toss. My perspective is that the captain has a great deal of responsibility and should have certain characteristics that help her to lead.
Job Description: The captain is the liaison between the players and the coach. She is also the “coach on the field”. It is her responsibility to give players direction and keep the team focused on the task at hand. Away from the field, she should represent the team in positive ways. Other players and community members should see the captain as a representative of what all players in the program should strive to be.
Guidelines: There are many ways to lead others. Although I will make several suggestions about how to lead, one key component is that you need to be yourself. You may need to be a better version of yourself, but acting like someone else is not the answer.
- · Arrow to the Action: Inherent to the word leader is the idea of going first. A captain/leader should never ask someone else to do something that they are not willing to do themselves. Captains set the example. If they lead by saying but not doing, they will be found out eventually.
- · We before Me: A captain needs to put the good of the group before the good for herself. The role of captain is one of giving and not receiving. It requires a person who can control their desire for individual recognition. It does not mean that the captain receives no individual attention, but the team comes first and she knows that.
- · The Diplomat: As the liaison between the team and the coach, the captain needs to understand what problems need to be brought to the coach and which need to be handled within the team. She is not a spy or an informant, but a representative that is the voice and ears of the team.
Not all coaches will view the captain in the way that I do, so it will be important to understand the role under your particular coach. It is possible that your coach only wants captains to do the coin toss. If that is the situation, recognize that you can do more. Despite your coach’s view of the role, your teammates may be looking for more from their captain.
If captain is a role that you aspire to hold at some point, look at the leaders that you respect. Take stock of the attributes and actions of those leaders and assimilate the positives into your personality when possible. Remember something else. You don’t need the actual title to be a leader.
Imagine there was a Happiness Lottery. Once per week some lucky person would be awarded a lifetime supply of happiness. Of course there would need to be some payment for the ticket. Since the normal lottery requires a small amount of money in exchange for the chance at the big cash prize, it stands to reason that the Happiness Lottery would require a small happiness sacrifice to get into the big drawing. How many times would you play? How much of your daily happiness would you sacrifice on the long odds of Happiness Lottery? My hope is that you wouldn’t hang your hope for happiness on luck but rather come up with a systematic plan to create happiness and compound that which you already have.
- The first step would be to take stock of what assets you already have. Be grateful for the people and situations that are already in your life that cause happiness. Write down the happiness assets that you have in your life. The more grateful you are for what you already have, the less likely that you are to squander it.
- The second step would be to look for ways to create more. Accentuate the areas where you are creating great happiness and put more time into happiness areas that may be lagging.
- Diversify your portfolio. Don’t expect all of your happiness to come from one area. If you lean to heavily on one happiness source, tough times in that area will leave you living very thin. Friends, family, hobbies, entertainment and a slew of other possibilities exist for you to have a balance to happiness.
- Cut down on waste. Recognize where you are putting in great efforts but getting little returns. Perhaps an area that used to be your biggest happiness producer is now a leach but you don’t see it.
- Watch out for thieves! There will be thieves looking to steal your happiness if you let them. With money we use banks, vaults and safes to protect our assets. With happiness we need to vigilant watchers of our world and who we allow access to it.
Happily ever after is a nice idea for the end of a fairy tale but it’s not a realistic plan. The lotteries, both monetary and happiness, are not a plan. They are a pipe dream. Happiness and finances both need to be cultivated through some strategic planning. Very rarely are either the result of the luck of the draw.
Happy days are yours to create!