Tag Archives: school

Stop Believing!

StopI inadvertently ruined Santa Claus for my son this morning.  Late last night I typed up a letter to a former professor and friend.  This morning my son asked to use my laptop to look up something for school.  I had completely forgotten to close out the document where I had talked about our holiday season and our kids still believing in Santa.  Ultimately it could have been a lot worse because he is old enough to move on from that belief.

Our beliefs are extremely important tools that we use to form who we are and who we can be.  Although the title of this blog may seem negative, it is intended to have a positive outcome.  It is intended to add some inner dialogue that will help you to achieve a goal, create something, improve something, change a habit or any other endeavor that is difficult.

Stop believing that it will be easy!

Stop believing that anyone will do it for you!

Stop believing that it’s too big for you to pull off!

Stop believing that “You Suck” voice inside your head!

Stop believing that you need to wait for the time to be right!

Stop believing that you’re too tired!

Stop believing that people will laugh at you!

Stop believing that anyone is going to help you more than you help yourself!

Stop believing that there are too many obstacles!

Stop believing that your past failures matter enough to stop you from trying again!

Stop believing that there’s nothing you can do!

Start believing in you, in possibility, in the future!

Stepping on the gas pedal of life may get you there fast but without the steering wheel, you don’t get to decide where that is.

Everything But…

IMG_3064In this extremely fast paced world, it’s easy to get distracted from that which is important in favor of that which seems important.  It is the reason why we make shopping lists and set reminders for ourselves.  Getting caught up in the moment is not only normal, it seems to be a way of life.  Despite all of the technological and societal distractions, it would seem as though we might have accidentally thrown out all of our babies in order to make room for more bathwater.  Perhaps it is time to decide what is truly important and focus on it.

There are plenty of people who will get married this year.  They will painstaking search for a great venue, a photographer, delicious food, the right guest-list and register for the perfect gifts.  But before they did all of that hard work, they forgot to find someone worth spending their life with.

We have access to amazing communication devices in our pockets and at our fingertips.  There is the capability to reach the other side of the world, translate to almost any language and do it instantaneously.  But we rarely say things that mean much of anything.  There is so much coming at us that it all becomes devalued.  We tend to only listen in order to respond, not to understand or empathize.

Students and teachers are no longer bound by the bricks in the walls of their buildings.  All facts are available at a moment’s notice and the greatest minds are within reach.  Yet our young people are worried about grades that will soon not matter and facts that have little value.  The word educate comes from the root educe which means to bring out or develop.  The cramming information in might not be the best way to draw out our young people’s genius.

These are just three examples where we seem to be so caught up in the process that we have forgotten why the process was invented.  When broken down to the core, the world is a relatively simple place.  We are here to survive first.  Once that is taken care of we look to progress and we do both more effectively together.  So get back to the core of what you do and why it is done at all.    If you are in school, then learn, regardless of the grades.  If you’re in a relationship, then relate, give of yourself and be willing to be changed.  The superficialities of life can only sustain us for so long.  Our true progress depends on depth of experience and it needs to be found again.  Right now are you focused on ANYTHING BUT THE THINGS THAT MATTER?



G.O.Y.A! And Do It!

IMG_2971There are plenty of commercials from my childhood that stick out.  Growing up at the beginning of the Super Bowl Commercial craze gave us plenty of memorable advertisements.  “Where’s the beef?” from Wendy’s.  Bird vs Jordan shooting contest.  This is your brain on drugs.  These all caught my attention because they were either clever or memorable for positive reasons.

One commercial that stood out for another reason was for GOYA beans.  The catch phrase “GOYA, oh boya!” was so inane that it stuck.  Inevitably when I am food shopping for my family, the big letters G O Y A stick out and remind me of the stupid tag line.  So I have decided to associate something new to that can and the beans that sit inside.  GOYA is now an acronym.  It stands for “Get Off Your ASS!”

It is a call to action and action is all that matters after all.  The commercials that are running in our minds should be moving us forward.  I’m sure that if you’re anything like me, there are commercials running for sleep, junk-food, relaxation, sex and beer… sweet beer.  The commercials for these things are not hard to run because they represent our surface level desires.  At a much deeper level, we want to have health, wealth and good relationships.  These things require a much greater effort than the shallow desires of the moment.  So it is up to us to stick deliberately put in those commercials for beans, ACTION BEANS.  Those less than sexy items that we need in order to get where we really want to go.  You’re running the show and when you stop for a word from the sponsors, make sure they’re the ones taking you in the right direction!

G.O.Y.A!  And do it!


Bad Gladiators Died

gladiatorIt wasn’t a 100% binary equation.  Gladiators could win, lose or “tie”.  Not even all of the defeated were condemned to death.  Despite these extenuating circumstances, one thing is most definitely certain, bad gladiators died.  I have no desire to bring back gladiatorial games or anything of the sort but in some ways our pendulum has swung too far in the other direction.

In modern society the crowd would seemingly want every gladiator to feel like a winner.  Swords would be made of foam rubber but helmets would still be worn just in case.  Gladiators would be paired by skill level and the most likely death would come from boredom of the truly talented gladiators.  While I am not a fan of truly “zero sum games”, there have to be stakes.  Gladiators got good because they had to.  Everyone knew that bad gladiators die, the gladiators knew this best.

By all accounts we do not live in a gladiatorial society nor would I truly want to.  A bloodthirsty mob looking to revel in the pain of the vanquished is not where we need to go.  However a world without stakes has no incentive to move forward.  The same holds for an individual.  What is at stake for you today?  Have you set yourself up in a game where you can win, lose or tie?  Or is nothing at stake today?  Are you armed with your foam rubber sword hacking away at the same meaningless opponent that you fought yesterday?  Bad gladiators of the past got to die quickly.  Bad gladiators today die slowly while trying to reassure themselves that they would be lethal if not for this foam rubber.  The price of finding out if you’re good or not is to risk the possibility of dying on the metaphorical sword.  That might be embarrassment, finances, time or many other things but something needs to be at stake.  So step into the arena, put something on the line and see what you’re made of!

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena!




Exhausting the Thumb

IMG_2786I would not have been surprised if I annoyed the hell out of my former teammates.  It’s not that I’m a bad player, I’m actually OK (or was).  The annoying factor would come from two things in particular.  First, I never shut up.  I talk incessantly.  Almost as if I were the unofficial play by play announcer for our team.  The other would be my tendency to blame everything that went wrong on myself.  Regardless of how small of an influence I had on a situation, I tended to focus on my little component rather than anyone else’s.  If a goal was scored, it was almost always followed by an admission of guilt.  As an intelligent human being and player, I realize that not everything that went wrong was my fault.  It’s just not true.  However I always wanted to exhaust the thumb before I went to the finger.

In a world where almost everything is on video, accountability is an easy thing to track, especially in sports.  Who lost their mark or misplayed a pass is available in HD clarity.  I’m not particularly keen on accountability though.  It has its place.  However responsibility is a much more interesting quality.  People need to take responsibility.  Accountability can be handed out and often leads to separation.  Fingers tend to make enemies and excuses.  Thumbs tend to make leaders and solutions.  By continuously pointing the thumb at one’s self before resorting to the finger, a few very important things happen.

First, the thumbed individual sees him or herself a part of a larger whole which is influenced by the actions of all.  Like the butterfly that flaps its wings and contributes to an eventual hurricane.  A person willing to exhaust the thumb recognizes that they’re not working independently of the rest of the group, team, company or world.  Every action of the individual has the potential to influence a much larger whole.  Could a tiny gesture of kindness toward a neighbor influence the relations of an entire town or city?  Absolutely!  Especially if those actions are done consistently.

Second, the thumbed individual infrequently or never blames others.  This posture creates fewer separations between people.  Finding fault in others rarely creates better behavior.  It usually only creates resentment for the person doing the blaming.  Most people in this world are their own harshest critic.  Giving them the ability to rectify the situation without judgment can go a long way toward future success.  Fear of letting someone down is a much stronger motivator than fear of punishment.  It also has the added benefit of creating better relations between people who are giving their best to each other and know that criticism (if it comes) will come with understanding.

Like anything else that is really important in life, not everyone will do this because it’s hard.  It’s so much easier to lose your temper or “let off some steam”.  After all things are often other people’s fault.  Taking on this world view doesn’t change that.  However it does get you focus on the only person that you can fully control, yourself.  If you are in control of yourself, then it’s possible that you’ll end up where you want to go.

Have a great day!


At War with the Rainbow

TestImagine it.  A soldier walking through a jungle in a foreign land just as the rain stops.  In the distance there is a rainbow.  All of the sudden there is an attack from the enemy.  The attack is repelled and the soldier marches on.  The next day the rain stops, rainbow, surprise attack.  This pattern continues for a week.  On the eighth day, the soldier comes upon a beautiful waterfall.  With the water plummeting from a height of over fifty feet, a mist above the surface of the water forms a miniature rainbow and soldier discharges his weapon several times into the falling water.  There is no attack, so the soldier is sure that the enemy is dead.  It is ridiculous, isn’t it?  The soldier believing that the rainbow somehow caused or could help the prediction of the attacks.  The truth is that we all do it at one point or another.

The combination of two things that have almost no association whatsoever is quite common.  An undefeated streak and an unwashed pair of socks.  Traffic and the driver in front of you.  School and learning.  WAIT!!!!  That’s blasphemy!  Especially for someone who has spent years as a teacher and vehement proponent of learning.

The problem is that in many ways the statement is true.  School and learning have almost completely been divorced from one another.  People recognize that at one point in history they went hand in hand.  However that relationship has decayed in people’s minds.  School has become a pariah that people only endure because they have to.  Learning has gotten mistaken for its cousin, information.  Since information is everywhere, people have no need to engage in the relationship with learning.  So this once inseparable couple is now separated and only feign a relationship “because of the kids”.

This is an extreme picture of the present situation.  While not completely accurate, it is not altogether inaccurate.  School is in a precarious position because it only ever came into being because of learning.  The point of school was to learn (especially how to think).  In many instances that has been replaced with “The point of school is to get good grades.”  Like the telephone game that many of us played as children, over time the message has gotten garbled and disjointed.  Politicians, administrators, parents and teachers propped up a system that only partially meets its expressed purpose.  Like the situation of rogue traders who bet on speculative numbers with the life savings of others, this could leave many people bankrupt.

So for now, my suggestion is double, triple or quadruple down on learning.  If it happens at school, GREAT!  If it happens elsewhere, GREAT!  Learn about the things that are important to you and the people in your life.  Dive deep into learning about yourself.  How you work.  How your mind works.  How your emotions work.  Not so you can be self-centered but you can find balance with the world.  Learning is not actually the hard part as it happens all the time.  The key is learning things that are useful and meaningful to your world.  So if you are still in school, don’t think of learning as drudgery.  Seek out those opportunities when school style learning overlaps with your life.  If you’re already done with school, realize that you aren’t done with learning.  Don’t try to kill the rainbow just because it was lumped in with something that you perceive to be your enemy.

Have a great year!



Don’t Read This Blogpost!

If you’re here, that means one or more of a few things:

  • you have a problem with people telling you what not to do
  • you have a selective reading issue where you miss certain words
  • you clicked on it by mistake
  • you sensed that there was more to this than the title

I’m going to assume the final one because it will get us farther faster!

Don't readThe ability to see past the obvious and simple solution is not one that everyone possesses.  Judging books by their covers or even first chapters is not always the best strategy.  Not everything in the world is completely formulaic.  Even some chemical formulas require a catalyst to increase the rate of their reaction.  Despite these facts, there is a solid majority of people that believe the obvious answer is the only possible answer.  One of the main reasons is that it is comfortable.  Comfort is probably the ethos of our age.  So the reason that I asked you not to read this blog is that I want you act on it.

I’m asking you to be uncomfortable, see past the past and act in spite of any past failures that you might have.  We’ve all got something: talking to that special someone, losing weight, making the team, starting a business, writing a book or whatever.  At this point it has been written off.  You’ve either failed sever times or not tried because you believe that you can’t.  Either way make me (or anything else that you choose) your excuse.  You need to give that thing another go.  Not because you’re guaranteed success this time but because it’s still inside of you somewhere.  I don’t really care if you give up on a goal.  I just don’t want you to ever give up on yourself.

Every moment is a new opportunity.  Pile up the dead carcasses of your past selves and make a staircase to take you to the place where you know that you can get.  If you believe that you’re who you’ve always been, that’s exactly who you’ll continue to be.  But if you believe, even for a second, that you can be different.  You can be stronger, more determine, resourceful, patient, caring, aggressive or anything else that you’ve failed to be in the past.  That’s not who you are!  That’s who you were!  Today, right now before you finish reading.  Take a step!  No!  Take a leap and move yourself forward.  The you from six months in the future is BEGGING for you to do it!  Because he/she doesn’t want to be where you are now.  They want to be five miles down the road or ten thousand dollars richer or in a relationship.  So now I’m BEGGING!  Don’t read this blogpost!  Live it!  Step up and out into the world that you deserve and not the one that you’ve grown accustomed to.  DON’T READ!  DO!

Love you guys!


Defence Against The Dark Arts (Bullying)

DarkArtsDespite being a 41 year old man, I really like the Harry Potter movies and watch them regularly.  My wife would say that it’s because of Emma Watson but that’s not quite the truth.  The story itself is what draws me in.  It’s a pretty classic story of good vs. evil with enough twists and turns to make it unique.  I’m also very interested in young people and how they learn to find their way through the world.  Obviously completely fictitious but in parallel to the real world, one major failing of Hogwarts is to maintain a consistent Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.  In that world, the imminent danger of Voldemort made that post important.  In our much less magical world, the danger does not come from a completely evil dark lord but rather other young people trying to find their way in the world.

Just prior to sitting down to write, I was watching the Today Show and their guests were the parents of the twelve year old girl who killed herself in Rockaway, NJ.  With an eleven year old son and many young people in my life, I truly feel for these parents as they’ve gone through the worst pain that a parent can bear.  That story is not fiction and no matter the result of the lawsuit, it will not end completely happily.

I do not believe that social media is inherently bad or evil.  It does create a loosely guarded gateway for evils to be perpetrated.  While most of the focus is on stopping cyber-bulling and the perpetrators, I’d suggest that young (and older) people need to learn how to defend themselves against the dark arts of bullying.  Let me say here, I am not condoning bullying in any way shape or form.  Schools and organizations need to respond to these types of actions.  Unfortunately the adults in a child’s life can only protect them so much.  At a certain point, a child (or adult) is going to need to know how to protect themselves; not just from bullies but from friends, strangers, rejection, failure and loss.  Knowing how to cope with and defeat these “dark arts” is crucial but rarely taught or even discussed.  The two best Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers were Remus Lupin and Harry himself.  Both were effective because they were practical in their approach.  They did not deny that their students might face dark times like Dolores Umbridge.  The beauty of the Order of the Phoenix is that students organize in order to protect themselves because they know that danger is out there.

InvisibleIn the real world, young people are increasingly living their lives in a virtual world where the perceived becomes as important or more important than the real.  So they are fighting in a world of perception when they are still learning how to perceive themselves.  If you know of someone who is struggling to manage the world, here are some starting points:

  1. Keep your phone/iPad/etc. in another room while you sleep.
  2. Do not log onto your device of choice for the first 30 minutes of your day.
  3. During that 30 minutes, take about 15 to do the following:
    1. Write down or think of people, things, experiences that you’re grateful for.
    2. Write down or think of the positive things that you’d like to have happen today (things that depend more on you than other people)
    3. Write down or think of the person you want to be in the future.  Don’t get caught up in the space between where you are and where you want to be.  Allow yourself to be in the future.
  4. After you’ve made these first 3 a habit, add in some form of body movement.  Enough to get your blood pumping above a resting rate.

The point behind all of these items is to focus your mind on the things that matter most to you before it gets distracted by the desires of others.  Decide what it is that you want out of your life/day before anyone else gets to add their input.  If you need a helping hand, my email address is pete@hurykunlimited.com.

Have a great day people!


If School is Prison, Be Andy Dufresne…

ShawshankThe thought of school being like prison is not a new one.  I’m sure that most students have thought it or said it at one point.  It’s an easy enough correlation to make: brick walls, questionable food, time to be served and other ne’er do wells in the same boat.  Although I’ve visited a prison before, most of my frame of reference comes from books and movies.  The most prevalent being The Shawshank Redemption.  While this book/movie is completely fictitious, conceived in the mind of Stephen King, there is value in the exercise of comparing the fiction to the reality.

Most prisoners in the story are simply waiting out the term of their sentence.  Like the character Brooks in the movie, they wait for many years and then are utterly lost when they are released.  This is not unlike many high school students.  Their years in captivity are spent waiting for their time to be up but not fully conceiving what they might do with their freedom.

Bill_Gates_June_2015The one outlier in Shawshank Prison is Andy Dufresne.  A former banker that does not endure his time in the prison but uses it.  Although his sentence is life, he always has an idea of what he’ll do with his life when he gets out.  Slowly and methodically he uses time as his ally to dig his way out of prison and to his desired future.  While this makes for a good movie, it is just fiction, isn’t it?  A quick read of the story of a young Bill Gates shows a great example of art imitating life imitating art.

Prison is a place where a person is confined.  It is possible to be in physical prison and be free mentally.  The much more common situation seems to be people that are physically free but mentally imprisoned.  They are shackled to self-limiting thoughts and habitual attitudes that keep them from living freely.  If you feel like you’re in prison, take a look around and try to find the warden.  There really isn’t one.  Just systems that can be endured or used to improve your station when you’re done with your time.  Don’t let a situation that you don’t like turn your life into one that you don’t like.  The only one who can give permission for your mind to be a prison is you.

Be free today!



I See France in the Mirror

Eiffel towerI have often wondered what history lessons are like in Germany about the period between 1900-1950.  From an outside perspective it is easy to characterize Germany as the villain of that epoch.  Is it viewed as period of shame?  Or glossed over as unfortunate past events?  Often people and nations have a hard time seeing themselves as others would see them.  When looking at others, it is easier to make judgment that we believe is right.  We can see their faults, shortcomings, idiosyncrasies and failures.  Or we laud their beauty, strength, courage or “perfection”.  Self-reflection is usually skewed in either a positive or negative direction.  People, just like nations, have a history that they must reconcile in order to move forward.  Recently upon thinking of Germany’s past and looking in the mirror, I reflected on what nation I represent.

At first I though Switzerland, a neutral state that is willing to keep the currency of others in secrecy.  It had some possibility but fell short.  Then I considered my ancestral homeland of Poland.  It has been overrun by many others and despite almost disappearing at certain points, it keeps coming back with resilience.  This would be nice and comfortable for me but unfortunately it’s not true.

Unfortunately I’m France.  Man, it pisses me off to write that!  There are many things to love about me but I give off an air of aloofness that puts people off.  At times, I’ve let my enemies take parts of me without much of a fight and needed the support of close friends to make me whole again.  I can be characterized as lazy but generally I work to live, not the other way around.  My reputation for being standoffish is justifiable but also location based.  If you truly want to get to know me, don’t do it where the crowds are.  I’m much better off the beaten path and rich in areas that you didn’t know were there.

What country are you?  Please don’t search Facebook for a quiz that tells!  Figure out that story for yourself.  If you don’t like what you’ve found (as I don’t), then make the necessary adjustment.  Despite being France, I can change my actions and therefore my story about who I am.  You can too.  Just because you were beaten, trampled, torn apart and considered unworthy in the past, does not mean that your history needs to continue on that path.  Your history cannot predict your future, unless you let it!

Have a great day!