Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

Two Ways to Play

It’s definitely an oversimplification but in essence there are two ways to play a game: playing to your strengths or stifling the strengths of your opponents. The beauty of this oversimplification is that it brings to light a few things. Stifling ones opponent takes the art out of the game and makes it a pragmatic results focused exercise. There is nothing particularly wrong with this. It is inherently a means to an end. However it does not inspire or capture the imagination.

I’ve written many times about the fact that sports are a metaphor for life. The question then becomes do we live with this same amount of pragmatism? How often? And why? What is a result that is worth subduing our natural talents? Perhaps I did oversimplify a bit too much because within a game it is possible to self-express and stifle. Eventually one becomes the dominant strategy though.

Make your life an inspired performance rather than stifled slog.

Today’s your day! Use it wisely!

Pete

Blogpost, posh, SoccerLifeBalance

Fanmnesia

In the 1980’s, one of my favorite shows was “The Dukes of Hazzard.” A show about two cousins and their jumping car. Despite the fact that the overall plot was mildly ridiculous, it was an enjoyable watch. One of the more memorable episodes dealt with Bo Duke having amnesia. The villain of the show, Boss Hogg, takes advantage of the situation and convinces Bo that he is Boss Hogg’s son. In the end, Bo’s cousins are able to save him from the trouble that Boss Hogg has conjured up for him. The crazy thing is that amnesia episodes were relatively common in the 80’s. I actually thought it would be a much bigger part of my life than it has been but it seems to be coming around again.

Although it is not full on amnesia, it is a close cousin (haha) “fanmnesia.” This is a complete loss of a fan’s memory regarding past performances of their team or individuals. It’s not exceedingly dangerous to the fan. However it seems to be contagious. Players also seem to be more likely to forget their own abilities. It may be transmitted through the internet and specifically social media. I’m obviously being ridiculous but so is the situation.

Athletes (even top level professionals) have poor performances, great performances and anything in between. A player who has been in a slump of form can rebound. Others who have been performing well can have an off game. They are all people who are variables within a larger equation. Teams win, lose or tie based on the combination of these individual variables into a collective. Each player has a floor and a ceiling. Their ability to access their personal ceiling consistently is often the difference between the players who “make it” and those who don’t. The key for the players is to remember and forget.

Players need to be able to gain confidence from success while learning from failure. One of John C. Maxwell’s books has the perfect title for this situation, “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn.” Often that process is short-circuited by the ego. Maintaining objectivity is difficult for everyone. Fans can get away with having “fanmnesia” but players need to believe in themselves. They need to believe in their ability to reach the ceiling or even raise it. That belief can’t be a variable. It needs to be as constant as possible. As the manager and the fans forget their past successes, it’s their job to remember. Remember who they are and their value on the field. It’s a difficult equation but it’s made more difficult if a player get “fanmnesia.”

Another word for a fan is a supporter, more than anything that’s what those who aren’t playing need to be. It just makes more sense. These players are wearing our colors. We should want them to do well. We’re part of that equation that helps them to reach and break through their ceiling.

Up the POSH!

Pete

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

Identity Crisis to Boldly Dominating the World

Ten years ago I created a very simplistic documentary film that I called “Identity Crisis: Where does soccer fit in the United States?” The goal was two-fold: enter a film in the Kicking and Screening Film Festival and answer my own question about where soccer was at the time. The film itself is a “no budget” first attempt that lacks polish and movie making chops. Despite all of its shortcomings, it does one thing relatively well. It represents the fact that at the time, soccer had a form of an identity crisis. This post is going to focus on the men’s side of the game because the women have well established world dominance already and I am looking to flashback to past struggles then flash-forward to the men’s world dominance. That’s right! I said it!

Joel Lindpere of the New York Red Bulls during my interview with him for Identity Crisis.

The following perspective on the past is my own and is not intended to be a 100% historical record of soccer’s last few decades in the US. Soccer could have been listed as deceased in many ways during the 1980’s. After the failure of the NASL, soccer had very little relevance at the professional level. The indoor and other professional leagues had their pockets of influence but largely it was the youth that had the greatest impact on keeping soccer in the national consciousness (very slightly). During the 1990’s, qualification for and then hosting the World Cup brought the “kids” game to the attention of the nation. The spectacle of the event and our strong performance in the competition brought a certain amount of pride and hope to the sport. With the introduction of Major League Soccer, it would seem that soccer was back in the US. The league did have a perception problem at the beginning. It felt slightly contrived as teams like Metrostars had no history and their names/logos seemed like they were developed by an ad agency rather than soccer people. Regardless, we had a professional league. Then in 1998, the hope and optimism were dashed by a dead last finish in the France World Cup.

The turn of the century did not bring an immediate turn of fate. MLS had to contract down to 10 teams and there was talk that it might not survive. At the 2002 World Cup, the USMNT did surprisingly well. The shock win against Portugal was an amazing start and the controversial loss to Germany was a gut-wrenching finish. A resurgence in MLS saw the league add teams and soccer specific stadiums. The 2006 World Cup was another disappointment with the US finishing at the bottom of their group. New MLS rules brought notable names to the league from abroad. Domestic stars were also being developed in Bradenton and elsewhere such as Landon Donovan and Freddy Adu. Expectations for these players and the sport overall was probably higher than either could withstand. As the decade finished, the USMNT confused its American fan base by beating Spain in the Confederations Cup in 2009. Then at the World Cup, they luckily advanced to the knockout round only to lose to Ghana.

My film “Identity Crisis” was documenting of where three groups of people thought that soccer were at the time. Sports talk radio hosts, professional players from abroad and an MLS executive were all asked for their thoughts on where soccer was and was going. The sports talk hosts generally regarded it as irrelevant in the sports landscape. Conversely, the international players were complimentary of the state of the sport at the moment. Dan Courtemanche, the MLS executive, was optimistic but reserved in his assessment of the state of soccer in the country. My personal conclusion was that soccer’s fate in the US was based largely on people like myself. Our desire to continue supporting, playing, coaching, etc. was a crucial component to where the sport would go. Although I used it as a catch title, “Identity Crisis” was truly what the general perception of soccer was at that moment. Depending on how someone evaluated the state of soccer at that moment, there could have been a variety of different opinions. Progressing because MLS was expanding. Stalled because the National Team hadn’t performed well in the World Cup. Irrelevant because it wasn’t a top 4 sport. Any one of these evaluations could have been right.

That’s where I’m going to stop the retrospective and go in another direction by describing how soccer has a BOLD future. In their amazing book, BOLD, Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler focus on how to leverage technology to create massive change. While I don’t believe they had soccer in mind when they wrote the book, I’m going to shoehorn some of the concepts in here because I truly believe that soccer is boldly moving forward here in the US. The authors discuss the “6 D’s of Exponential Organizations.” While soccer is not one organization and measuring the relative success of a sport using any one metric is extremely difficult, I am going to make my argument and leave it up to you the reader to decide for yourself. After that we need to watch and wait.

Even if you don’t want to start a business, this book is worth the read!

Digitized – While the sport itself has not become digitized, the access and consumption of the sport has largely been placed in the pockets of fans around the world. The World’s most popular sport used to available on a very limited basis here in the US. Now it as pervasive as any other sport, if not more so! The internationality of soccer gives the opportunity for a fan to be engaged 12 months per year by multiple leagues. The World Cup, UEFA Cup, Champions League and several other tournaments also mean that there is another big event on the horizon. The capability to take it all in has been DIGITIZED.

Deceptive – Soccer has been growing in a variety of ways that have gone largely unnoticed by people outside the game. The increase in the professional foothold within many regions of the country is happening more rapidly than many would recognize. The “kids” game has grown up and the adults who used to play it are now watching in greater numbers than in the past. The NFL, NBA and MLB may still boast big numbers but the gap is closing.

Disruptive – Although I’m following the Diamandis and Kotler model, the disruptive nature of exponential technologies is not the same as the disruption that I’m talking about. Soccer is not directly disrupting the more traditional sports in an overt way. However as the legacy of those sports have their own disruptions such as major concussion concern, the opportunity to break new ground exists. Also the cultural stigma of soccer being a “lesser” sport is all but gone. Nothing attracts a crowd, like a crowd.

Demonetized – Depending on the angle of view, this could be the hurdle that soccer is in the process of clearing. Soccer has been made expensive for participants. So the demonetization of soccer will take some work. HOWEVER, the pandemic has given many kids time to practice as an individual. The game has moved from the field to the basement, garage or backyard. In addition to that maneuver, kids have a phone and a social media account. Sharing their individual skills doesn’t cost them anything extra. Therefore the game is permeating parts of life that it didn’t before, sans cost. As we catch up to the rest of the world in our professional club infrastructure, more high level players are going to be training for free at academies while the general population will not pay high prices for recreation. Too many mothers and fathers will have experience with the game to keep ratchet of high priced trainers going.

Dematerialized – Although the physical game is not going anywhere, the way that it is consumed and engaged with will. The viewing experience is going to continue to improve as more leagues and teams will find ways to make their content available. Also the virtual reality space is going to give players and fans a different experience of the beautiful game. That might be a video game type experience or panoramic simulcasts of professional games where viewers at home can have the VR experience of being at the game.

Democratized – Even though it is the last step in this progression, it is actually the major advantage that most quality “footballing” nations have had over us. The game is one of the people. Almost anyone can play it because it is everyone and not expensive. In the US this last piece will be more of a perception and cultural progression. People will begin to view the sport as truly American rather than something that we need to have an inferiority complex about. Soccer can belong to anyone that wants it. It’s not just for the tall, the strong, or fast. Nor is it only for the people who grew up playing it. It can truly be for anyone.

After that long explanation of where we’ve been and the implications of the 6 D’s on the game, my suggestion is that soccer is about to explode. An exponential growth curve is not something that I can truly quantify. However I believe that all of the ingredients have been accumulating over the past decade or so. Perhaps the only metric that would convince people would be winning a World Cup. My assertion is still that 2026 will be our year. However I think that it is more likely to come in wave of realization. When the conversation about who the best player in the world is like happens with Messi vs. Ronaldo now, that at least one of those players will be in MLS. This and other milestones may get overlooked as they pass by but eventually will be seen as significant.

All of these players will be around their prime in 2026!

I’m sure many will disagree with what I’ve written here and that’s great! It’s one of the amazing things about this sport. The subjective nature of much of the action allows for many interpretations. Mine just happens to be that the US is going to dominate world soccer/football in the not so distant future.

“Life moves pretty fast! If you don’t stop and look around, you could miss it!” – Ferris Bueller

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Goal Difference Matters

Points are definitely king of the table. There’s no denying that results are the thing that win championships and get promotions. However as the season progresses, it’s often possible to identify a “sleeper” team when their goal difference is greater than those around them in the table. Usually this is an indicator that the team has lost close games and blown out a few teams. It’s not as good as points in the pocket. BUT if a team doesn’t lose heart due to their present position, a promotion push could be around the corner.

Most of us are not particularly in the position that we want: socially, financially, mentally, emotionally, etc. Your present position is not predictive of the future. Although that’s easy to think because it feels accurate. You’ve been in this same spot for a while. The thing that you need to do is focus on your goal difference. When you lose, don’t let it be a blowout. If you win, make it a big win! What are you talking about?

The experiences of your life are not inherently positive or negative. We put that slant to the situation. So if each instance has no determined value, we get to add it. When you are evaluating the results that you are getting, don’t turn negative situations into catastrophes. Use language that will put it down as a smaller loss. We get disappointed, not devastated and this is an evaluation after the fact. Be professional as we lose. Shake hands and move on. Don’t say those negative things out-loud (Trevor Moawad).

When you do get a win, make it big! Even if it means almost nothing in the grand scheme of things, turn it into winning the FA Cup (for a small club, cause the top clubs barely care). We tend to undervalue our accomplishments because they are ours. If we can do, then anyone can do it. BULLSHIT! Some people couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag! Give some credit but don’t sit back and relax. It’s onto the next contest. A big win in isolation is nothing. Form matters! So take that momentum into the next thing and believe that a string of positive results is on the horizon. It’s the only way to climb up the table!

Most likely you’re the only one who is keeping score in your life. Tip the table in your favor. Stack up some little wins and then go for that title that you’ve been hoping for! It’s within your reach. All it takes is time and persistence. That combination is almost completely undefeated.

Go for your goals!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Compress The Penalty Area: Anxiety at Both Ends

Whether you’re Christian Pulisic breaking through the lines at Stamford Bridge to score or a U9 goalkeeper defending a corner, the penalty area or 18 yard box can be a place of high anxiety. That’s why the best strikers are worth their weight in gold at the highest levels and goalkeepers who are consistently good play until they’re almost 40 years old. Proximity to the thing that you want or that which you want to defend raises the stakes of the moment. The people who cope with that pressure well are considered special or talented. The truth is that like almost anything else it is a skill that can be trained. Also, the players who cope well have just compressed the penalty area.

A few weeks back I blogged about the relationship between the lines on the field and daily life. There’s also a video but more people read than watched. I guess I need to hire an actor or an editor. Regardless of my video issues, the 18 yard box at each end represents anxiety. At the defensive end, the anxiety linked to something that is going to hurt your self-esteem. It could be anything from fretting about a poor grade on a test, denial of college admission, the negative opinion of a boss or a multitude of other situations that might cause a dip in your self-esteem. Recognize, this isn’t the thing actually happening. It is just the anticipation of it. At the other end it is a similar situation. The 18 yard box represents anxiety around something that you want, a goal of some importance. Again the examples are numerous but a few might be college acceptance, a date with a special someone, a promotion and the list goes on. Notice at both ends, the goal represents the actual event happening. The box just represents the anxiety around it. So I suggest that you compress the box.

The idea that I’m suggesting is that you develop that same skill that world class strikers and keepers have mastered: being calm under pressure. This is not easy!!!! However it is also not impossible. Each of us have a different sized penalty area of anxiety. For some it is the tradition 18 yards. For others, it reaches all the way to the center circle (read about it) or beyond. The people who are best at dealing with their anxiety compress it down to 6 yards or less. How? Like any other time when dealing with emotions, I go back to the triad.

  1. Physiology – The way that you use your body is going to influence how you feel immensely. Breathing is a great place to start. Building a breath practice into your day can be a game changer. Habitual movement patterns are another place where huge changes can be made. Your body sends signals to your brain and vice versa. It is possible to move yourself in and out of emotions. If you’re feeling anxious, how are you using your body? You can train “calm states” into your brain by doing particular movements. It just takes practice. Don’t expect it to just happen.
  2. Focus – The things that you focus on become your reality. In this particular case, I suggest trading anxiety for excitement. It’s not a huge step. Each emotion has the same basic component pieces of anticipation, desire, uncertainty, etc. but excitement drops the negative connotation around the possibilities. I can hear you now, “That’s great when going to goal (a positive) but what about when I’m anxious about something bad about to happen.” Excitement can still work because just like the field, being under life pressure allows for acres of space to move forward after the crisis. Once this attack has subsided, the event will have happened or not. At that point, you can move forward with renewed possibility. There is also value in reframing the situation. It is more than likely that you are not going to die from this situation. So actually deal with the worst case scenario mentally. If this bad thing happened, how could you get past it with letting it damage your self-esteem?
  3. Inner Dialogue – The words that we say to ourselves inside of our own head are extremely important. I just finished Trevor Moawad’s book “It Takes What It Takes” and his points about neutral thinking could be game changing for many people. However one of the key things that he talks about is not saying negative things out loud. Although I suggest working on your focus, everyone has messed up thoughts from time to time. It is crucial that you don’t say those things out loud because saying it amplifies the message to your brain by 7 to 10 times. Keep those negative thoughts out of your mouth!

None of these things are easy but they can be practiced and therefore improved. Compress your penalty area as small as you can. That way no matter what comes at you, the ability to stay calm will be at your fingertips. The astronauts who are thrust into space go through all kinds of training on keeping their wits about them in pressure situations. Their lives truly do depend on keeping an even keel. Most likely you’re dealing with something that you’ve seen in the past and you can handle it!

Make it great people!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

The New POSH Path

The POSH path has been relatively well defined for over a decade. They recruit “young and hungry” players from the lower leagues with a sprinkling of experience for good measure. Especially under Ferguson, those young players who follow “the POSH path” end up developing into good professionals. Usually they move on to the Championship or even the Premiership. It has been consistent enough that it is not a surprise. Players know it and so do owners/managers from other clubs. The unfortunate thing about the POSH path is that the players who follow it end up moving up the leagues while the team has been consistently rooted to League 1. It could have been different but we cannot change the past, only use the present to create a brighter future.

Aaron McLean (jumping) congratulates Craig Mackail-Smith after he scored the winning goal for Peterborough during the FA Cup First Round game between AFC Hornchurch and Peterborough United at Bridge Avenue. Photo Credit Max Flego

Paths are caused by consistent foot traffic along the same track. Nothing will create a new path faster than crowd, in this particular case, a squad. The reason for the possibility of the new path is the academy players who are pressing their way forward to help blaze the trail. The young and hungry model is still in full force. However these young guns do not particularly see Peterborough as a stepping stone but rather their home. So moving to the Championship is still the goal but they’d rather bring their friends with them. Ferguson forecasted the direction of this journey before his last departure. Now all of the pieces are in place but as Morpheus said, “There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” POSH are in an ideal position to do what had always been the vision of owner, Darragh MacAnthony. They can get promoted to the Championship where they can keep most of their talent and stabilize at that level. That’s been the dream for over a decade. 2021 is a perfect time for the POSH and each of us to live into our dreams.

Even when the timing and ingredients are right, it can be difficult to break old patterns. After a certain amount of time, past results can seem like they are linked to the future like destiny. THE PAST IS NOT PREDICTIVE. The results of a moment ago have no bearing on the future. However our past can invade our future through our thoughts and action. Almost nothing else can hold us back from whatever heights that we want to reach. Our thoughts and actions need to be focused on the desired future rather than that unsatisfactory past. The path that will get each of us where we want to go is directly in front of us. We simply need to believe it, see it and then do it. One step at a time!

This year is a brand new opportunity for each of us. Whether you are a POSH fan or not, we all have the ability to tread a new POSH path. One that can take us to new heights. The other option to stay on the path that you are on. I am not here to judge. Only here to point out what is possible for those who are looking for a bit more. Today is a new opportunity. What are you going to do with it?

Up the POSH!

Pete

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

Non-League Football

Regardless of what many fans may think, the Premier League is not the only league. It is merely the pinnacle of an extremely large football pyramid. Some may pay attention to the Championship, League 1 or even League 2 but the number of fans also forms a type of inverted pyramid. Millions watch the Premiership, hundreds of thousands watch the Championship, and so on and so forth. Below the fourth level of the pyramid exists “non-league football.” Some the teams are professional. Others are not. Regardless of the level on the pyramid, the wages paid or not, the number of fans or size of the ground, it all matters.

Photo by James Richardson.

Whether Dagenham & Redbridge FC, Peterborough Sports FC, Billericay Town or Wrexham A.F.C.; there are fans out there who wear their jerseys, sing their songs and possibly even tattoo their crest on their body. Fans that the players know by name because the club is a community and not a commodity. The matches are not televised and the players don’t make millions of pounds per year but that’s actually the beauty of it. There is not much more on the line than the joy of the game for the both the players and the fans. It’s been the norm and hopefully it will continue on for a long time to come.

Most of us are playing “non-league football.” We’re not making big money or have adoring fans around the world. Our lives play out in front of small crowds that know and care about us. The God’s honest truth is that we’re probably not going to make it to the top leagues and that’s ok. Finding joy battling in the muck with friends. Giving our all to a performance that will only matter to the people who were there to witness it holds its own form of glory.

Regardless of what league you are in, what you are doing matters. So be sure to give it all that you have. No one remembers the players who shrivel from the challenge. However they will always sing the praises of the ones who gave every last bit of themselves. The fact that you are “non-league” doesn’t matter. You only need to level up on the inside and show what you’ve got.

Give it all that you have!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Do You See the Goal?

The usual dimensions are eight feet high by twenty-four feet wide. That’s one hundred ninety two square feet of target. It’s no small thing considering a team of full grown men cannot cover it when standing shoulder to shoulder (depending on the width of the men). Despite the relatively large space that the ball has to pass through, goals are elusive. Games with three or more are considered high scoring. It is not so much the target itself that creates the challenge, it is all of the obstacles that stand in the way of the ball’s path. Ten normal defenders and a goalkeeper who can use her/his hands. The most talented goal scorers are worth their weight in gold. Their value eventually gets translated to their limbs but it starts with their eyes. They see the goal!

Ivan Toney shoots for Peterborough United. Photo by Joe Dent

At this point, a part of your brain is screaming “everyone sees the goals! It’s 192 square feet!” Unfortunately that’s what makes those goal scoring maestros so valuable. Most players do not see the goal. They see the defender, the goalkeeper, the disappointed face of their coach if they miss, the last three shots that went over, and so on. The vision that they have in their mind’s eye is not a clear path to success that they need to follow. Instead it is a neural pathway that is littered with past events or projections that they believe are partially related to a predictable future. Getting the ball into the goal would be a surprise rather than an expected outcome. The ability to believe in the newness of each attempt is a skill of extreme value.

Most people in the world aren’t trying to hit a perfectly visible 192 square feet. The area of their targets is much less defined and so are the defenders. However the greatest indicator of success or failure still resides in the mind of the person going toward the goal. Some goals are forgotten about because they’ve been mastered for so long. Tying ones shoelaces used to be something but now it is nothing. No defenders, no goal keeper, an open space to be hit with almost no effort. However that final exam, talking to that special person, starting that project: those goals are defended by giants. The goalkeeper is a jungle cat with hands. While the goalmouth itself is covered with well cemented bricks laid by a master mason. Or at least that’s what is represented in their mind. The truth of the matter is there are very few goals in this world that are completely defended.

The question truly becomes “Do you see the goal?” Not the entire general space but the little undefended area where you can get through. With your desired objective can you see past all of the obstacles and find the route to victory? Or can you build up enough desire and strength to muscle through the giants and the jungle cat and blast through the wall that stands in your way? Both are possible strategies but just like those maestros, first you need to see it. Then take the first step to get there. Even the simplest goals don’t score themselves. You need to act first!

Take aim!

Pete

PS Here is a video with the goals of Ivan Toney. He’s one of those special ones.

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

The Top 5 Things to Love about the 2021 United Soccer Coaches Virtual Convention

I’m not sure that I was born an optimist but I’ve definitely become adept at finding the positive in things over the years. So although I am heartbroken that I don’t get to take my annual trip to some far off location to see friends and colleagues, I’m still able to find some good things about this situation.

5. Less walking/traveling – It varies year to year based on where my hotel is but I never need to worry about getting my steps in during the Convention. The second to last time in Baltimore, I averaged over 6 miles per day. Sometimes the traveling isn’t so bad when I carpool with my friend Anson (Not that Anson, a different Anson but we met THAT Anson last year). However I do not mind at all being able to roll out of bed or not, to catch a session.

4. Exhibit Hall Precision – This year I’m only having conversations/meetings with vendors that I really want to be talking to. It’s not particularly a bad thing to do small talk in the exhibit hall. I like to be social but I usually end up talking to a few vendors about a products that I have zero interest in. Here’s a video of my buddy, DJ Diveny, doing some skills. Since no one is coming to juggle in your living room, this will have to do.

3. Chat Feature – Although you’re not guaranteed to get your question answered, the chances are higher than they would be in a large auditorium where they pass around the foam microphone cube. This is something that they may want to consider doing for the live Convention in the future. Not exactly a chat but having a number to text in questions and the moderators can choose interesting ones. Just a thought.

2. Access to Recorded Sessions – I missed the Gregg Berhalter session last night. Luckily I don’t need to worry about it because I can watch it at some other point. At the live Convention, I usually need to choose between about 2 or 3 sessions that I want to attend. This year I can hit them all if I want.

  1. Guests that Normally Can’t Present – This is probably the best thing going for the Virtual Convention. Most of the “dream” guests that people would want to see, can’t ever attend due to coaching responsibilities. While Jose Mourinho may not be on everyone’s wish list, he is a presenter that is not usually available. Depending on how this goes, it may be another change to consider for future live events. Having notable coaches speak from a distance could be an interesting concept. We’ll see.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that none of this is ideal but under the circumstances I’ll take it. As coaches, it is our job to breakdown the opponent in order to move forward. That’s exactly what needs to be done here. This pandemic is a bunkered defense (almost literally). Pick it apart and do what you can to reach your goals!

Enjoy! And see you in KC!

Pete

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

Be Grateful for the Center Circle

As I often do, I take soccer concepts and relate them to life. This may be the most important metaphor that I use. The center circle is a part of the field that can be easy to overlook. If you draw a soccer field with all of the other lines but leave it off, someone might not even notice. Despite the fact that it may not be the shape that defines a soccer field, it is guaranteed to be used at least twice in a standard game. The other important characteristic of this piece of soccer geography is that the opponent is not allowed inside the circle when your team is kicking off. These are the important aspects of the center circle. It is crucial but under-appreciated.

Much like the center circle is a practice that I adopted years ago. At least twice per day, I take the time to shut out all other distractions and give thanks. It is quite possibly the most important thing that I do each day. Every morning when I wake up and right before I go to sleep, I say thank you for all of the things that I have in my life and list several specifically. It only takes about a minute on each occasion. Despite the small amount of time that it takes, it has been an absolute game-changer. The reason that it is so extremely important is that it is a protected space where I focus on the good that I already have.

So many people are spending their lives chasing the things that they don’t have. There is nothing wrong with pursuit. I am a huge fan of going for the things that you want from life. My company’s tag line is “Persistently Chasing Excellence.” The problem is not the desire for things that you don’t have. It is not being grateful for the things that you do. There are two sides to this sword that can cut you.

The first cut comes by not taking stock of all that you have in this moment. No matter who you are, there are great things going on in your life that you may be ignoring. By practicing gratitude, it brings these things into focus. Our brains need to delete so much of what happens throughout the day. Therefore if we do not consciously focus on that which we are grateful for, it will be taken for granted.

The second cut is connected to the first. If you do not practice gratitude on a regular basis, when you finally get the thing that you’re chasing, the joy will be short-lived. You’ll celebrate for a little while but eventually the novelty will wear off. That new thing will become just another thing. A new unique desire will catch your eye and you’ll pursue it. All the while you’ll feel empty because you’re not content with what you have. The source of your happiness is located someplace outside of yourself. Therefore you are the dog chasing its own tail. You already possess what you pursue but exhaust yourself with the futile exercise.

So take the time. The minutes are insignificant but the impact of the exercise is huge! By doing this every day, you’ll get in the habit of noticing all that you have. It will energize you to go after the things that you want. That pursuit is one that you can feel confident won’t be in vane. No matter whether you get the new or not. You’ll be grateful for what you have and appreciate the new if you get it.

Draw the center circle and don’t let the opponents in. Remember though that you can bring people from your own team in to help you kick things off. My guess is that they’ll be happy to help you when they know how grateful you are for them.

Game on!

Pete