Tag: community

Blogpost, self-reliance

Waving at Passing Cars

Pete Huryk

The road near where I live has no sidewalks. It is also has several curves that drivers tend to take too fast. The combination of these factors make it a little treacherous for walking my dog. I need to be attentive, have my dog a short leash and consistently wave to the passing cars. The first two could pass as common sense. The third seems to be a waste of time or possibly even embarrassing. I’ve been told as much by people who will remain nameless. So what is the point in the wave? I don’t know a vast majority of the drivers and probably never will.

Casting things out into the void is not particularly good strategy. A football team that relies heavily on hail Mary passes will mostly find their prayers unanswered. Regardless of the mathematics of the situation, I persist. The simple reason is that I believe in ripples, paying things forward and micro influencing macro. In a world where everyone seemingly wants to be seen, it’s easy to forget to see others. This is why I wave.

Human beings have been tribal animals for centuries or even millennia. Our need for community is hardwired deep within us. There is also a desire for status within that tribe. Balancing this “need to be an individual” with the “need to be part of a community” is a key component to us making it through this time in history. Selfish acts are far too easy. We experience the world through our own perspective therefore our needs, our desires and our priorities tend to dominate our point of view. So going fast down a curvy road is a self-serving act that has no malice in it but it fails to consider others until forced to do so. Therein lies the problem. Our world is a spinning sphere with billions of independent people living upon it. If it is only when we are forced to “see” one another that we actually do, our interactions are reactive and less thoughtful. So I wave.

I wave in the hopes that the people passing by will see me seeing them. Perhaps that recognition will make them consider me the next time that they drive down the road. The mutual recognition may be just enough for each of us to make it through this life unscathed by the carelessness of others. Because we only have one spinning sphere and we need to care more, not care less!

I see you!

Pete

Blogpost

An Open Letter to My Future Players

Pete Huryk

To Whom It May Concern:

VESPhotoI am your new coach.  That’s a role that I take very seriously.  It’s a mixture of teacher, mentor, psychologist, personal trainer, confidant and many other jobs that coalesce into a position of great possible influence.  The word possible is in there because people are put into roles like this every day but just because someone leads does not mean that anyone will follow.  A position of power does not make someone a leader.  Leaders must be willing to go first.  My hope is that I am able to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am.

At this point, I could list all of my past experiences and accolades but they are only slightly relevant.  Prior success is not a guarantee of future success.  Also that term is something that we will have to define together.  So what am I offering?  Commitment…  A similar commitment to the ones that I make to my wife and children.  I take it that seriously.  The commitment to do what I believe is best in the long run.  Not particularly today.  Not the things that are easy.  Not the things that most people would do but rather the things that few people would do.  Things that may lose games but improve lives.  Ultimately that is the game that I care the most about: LIFE.  Eventually everyone’s playing career comes to an end.  The things that we carry with us after the games are over are the true victories.  The friends, confidence, self-discipline, self-awareness, and so many others are the trophies that we not only carry with us but can rely upon for years to come.  In the end, your ability to control a ball will probably amount to very little but your ability to control yourself will give you everything.

So where do we go from here?  Forward!  We are going to take the necessary steps in order to prepare for what lies ahead.  There is no way to predict what those things might be.  Every team and every season is different.  So we will do our best to anticipate the challenges and prepare for them.  We will endure hardships.  Face opponents external and internal.  Enjoy the successes but no matter what it will be done together.  Every one of us will contribute to whatever we accomplish.  From the starting captain, all the way down to the last person on the bench of the lowest level team, we all have something to give.  It may not be goals, saves or minutes but there is value in all of it.

I could go on but rather than talking about starting, we should just start.  So for now, let me just say that I am extremely excited to be working with you.

See you soon!

Coach

P.S.  Below is something that I wrote a few months back.  Not sure how it will play into my plans but I’m putting it here for your consideration.

“Toward Full Stature”

I go out today in search of victory,

Not over the opponent who stands in front of me

But the lesser self that resides within me

Before I can conquer anyone or anything else

I must first conquer and control myself

And if today I am able to stand victorious,

I know that tomorrow will bring a new challenge

Each day my ability to stand tall will be tested

But I am confident that I will reach my full stature

self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

America Needs to SOCCER!

Pete Huryk

pulisicMost of the time soccer is a noun but today I’m going to use it as a verb.  Of course when you are creating a new word, it’s important to define it.  Here is my explanation of the term.

The action of “soccering” is not the act of playing soccer.  We already know how to say and do that.  And NO!  It doesn’t mean acting like you’re injured when no one did anything to you.  The action of soccering is the real life application of the virtues that are possessed within the game.  In soccer, players must make real time decisions about what to do, based on the stimuli that they take in from both teammates and opponents in order to achieve the outcomes of simultaneously reaching a goal while defending their own.  The soccer paradigm puts the impetus of decision onto eleven individuals acting as a collective rather than following the pre-scripted orders of an overseer.  Although positioning and style of play may be directed, principles and judgment are the main directors of decisions.

America needs to soccer!  It needs to take back the very impetus that this country was founded upon.  Regular people doing things as a collective that move us all forward and protect us against failing.   We need regular citizens who want to be self-determining within the existing system and help to influence that system.  At the moment we seem to be overwhelmingly passive and extremely willing to look for someone else to be accountable rather than looking to be responsible ourselves.

We can soccer by trying to improve our lives and the lives of those around us.  We can soccer by changing our perspective from a “they” to “we” mentality.  We can soccer by doing the right thing even if we know that no one else will notice but us.  We can soccer by deciding to take a chance on something that might not work, rather than doing it “the way we’ve always done it.”  There are so many ways to soccer but the thing about soccering is that it has to start with you.  You can’t tell someone else to soccer.  You can only show them how by doing it first and being an example.

Below is a long description of the historical paradigms where this thought came from.  If you are inspired to do something right now, then don’t read the bottom, act now, read later.

Why do I believe that America needs to soccer?  The historical successes of the United States have in large part been attributed to a football paradigm.  Land acquisition and forward progress are the hallmarks of the All-American sport.  In the past, both politically and economically, we have pushed forward in the name of progress and it has served us well.  Manifest Destiny is the perfect example. Presidents and other decision-makers laid out a playbook for the American people to score a touchdown on the Pacific coast.  Americans led the charge across the continent through wars and promised economic success, the way football players might listen to a play called from the sidelines.  The Space Race, the Arms Race, the Cold War and Industrial Revolution were all perfectly suited to the football paradigm.  So why change?

The reason for change is that the football paradigm is fundamentally flawed in a few different areas.  The idea of neverending progress is unrealistic.  At some point stock prices level off, profits decline and progress slows and stops.  In a paradigm that preaches forward motion as the truest indicator of success, it is not surprising that we have: insider trading, big CEO bonuses for bailed out companies and strategic layoffs to protect profits.  Individuals, companies and the government have all pushed toward their given marker of success whether it be money, land, power or prestige.  These success markers are not inherently evil or negative but their acquisition without thought to the human equation has created an imbalance in our perspective on success.

There are also the separations in the football paradigm.  The coach is the one who calls the plays.  The offense scores the points and the defense stops the other team.  Although all are members of the same team, it is easy to point the finger at another individual or group when things go wrong.  In the Industrial Revolution this system was completely acceptable.  Henry Ford brought forth the assembly line.  He took men who were making fifty cents per day and paid them five dollars per day because of his efficiency.  People were more than willing to be a cog in that machine because it was a better life than what they expected.  They were linemen but were happy to be that.  Now with modern technology and globalization that deal doesn’t work anymore.  That deal is being shipped overseas and no one wants to be a lineman anymore.  Everyone thinks they’re a quarterback and expects to be paid like one.

America needs to soccer because you’re part of the problem and part of the solution.  You’re on the field.  The decisions that you make on a daily basis matter.  The President, the senator, the governor, your boss, your wife, your children, your friends, your teachers are part of it all but so are you.  So before you point the finger, point the thumb.  What can you do today to SOCCER?

Thanks!

Pete

Uncategorized

Join the Club (Closing Time)

Pete Huryk

During one summer in college, I worked as a buss-boy and bar-back at a Mexican restaurant in Ocean City, MD.  It was kind of ironic that in a popular Mexican restaurant, all of the cooks, wait-staff and buss-boys were American or Scottish.  The mixture of different groups of people made for an interesting work environment.  I learned a lot in that job about how people relate.

On one particular night as we were closing up, a popular song came on the radio called “Closing time”.  One of the dishwashers, a fifteen year old, was singing along as he waited for his ride.  He was almost instantly chastised by a cook because he “didn’t understand what closing time was all about!”  The entire exchange was a little weird.  As someone who had experienced closing time, I didn’t see why the cook was making such a big deal out of it.  For whatever reason, membership in the ‘closing time’ club was important to this guy.  He let the poor dishwasher know in no uncertain terms that he was not part of the club.

Human beings are communal animals.  We often identify very heavily by our affiliations.  Depending on your preferences, you might be part of the GOP, PTA, NRA, FFA, CIA, NAACP or a thousand other acronyms.  There’s also a possibility that you fly the American, Confederate, Rainbow, Mexican or Peace Flag.  Most of these communities are exclusive and have trouble accepting the existence of their counterparts.  Our differences separate us in many ways.  Just like the cook who thought his perception of closing time was something that was important enough to put he and the dishwasher on different planes.  Our communities that we choose define us in many ways but in the end we are all human.

As I think more and more about the state of the world and our place in it, one thought reverberates: in most cases, we are our only predators.  For the most part, we conquered nature in so many ways that we basically no longer worry about predators.  It is only the people that are different from us that cause a challenge, a threat or fear.  We seem determined to take our differences to the extreme in order to invite or possibly even cause our own closing time.  Are our differences so important as to bring the end to another, ourselves or everyone?  I believe there are causes that warrant the ultimate sacrifice.  On the other hand, are there sacrifices that are completely unwarranted?  Is destroying your enemy’s boat so important when you share that boat?

I was just thinking….

Pete