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Accidentally Mummifying Yourself

KilimanjaroThe world is filled with things that cut.  Like walking through a patch of thorn bushes with exposed skin, injury is an almost certainty.  In the short term, bandaging the cuts is the right strategy.  In time, the wounds will heal.  If too many cuts pile up, the bandages become wrappings.  You become a mummy.  Movements constrained by the bandages on wounds that never healed.  Avoiding cuts completely is an impossibility but choosing a new path and learning how to wield a machete are both options.  Band aids are not a long term solution, they are a short term fix.  This concept is obvious when thinking about real wounds but with metaphorical wounds, this is a common strategy.

The key has always been preventative medicine/measures.  Solving old problems with solutions that minimize or eradicate the issue is the best way to get better problems.  That is an understanding that everyone needs to have: PROBLEMS AREN’T GOING AWAY!  The most that you can hope for is to have the best problems possible because you’ve solved the old and boring ones.  Why would you choose to flail around in that same old thorn bush when you can figure out how to climb Mount Kilimanjaro?

I know that many of you out there are bleeding and it hurts.  My heart goes out to you and I hope that this message will help you move on.  Break free of the thorns and find the path to the mountain where you can see for miles.  It won’t be easy but it may be worth it!

Have a great day!

Pete

 

Blogpost

“I Am Groot” Being Loud and Clear

GrootLast night I saw Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 with my son. (No spoilers, don’t worry!)  One of the central characters in the Guardians series is Groot.  He is a slightly simple-minded creature who can only say one thing “I am Groot”.  Luckily his partner, Rocket, is extremely adept at understanding and deciphering his message.  While Groot is often the star of the show, Rocket makes him accessible to everyone.

Although we are speaking the same language, the words that are said and the way that they are interpreted are two different things.  Relationships depend heavily on language (both spoken and unspoken).  If you want to be understood in any relationship, seek first to understand.  Most of us are trying so hard to get our message out, that we forget to put the receivers up.  Better listening (and reading of body language) can make you a more effective communicator.

It’s fine to say “I am Groot” if you’re talking to Rocket.  The problem comes when someone else needs to understand.  Then it’s on you to be clear.  No one will be as invested in your message as you are.  So put the effort into becoming a better messenger, rather than turning up the volume on your message.

Pete

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Obvious Words Now Intentionally Tattooed

Things are obvious until they’re not.  Then they become obvious again.  The world was obviously flat until it wasn’t.  Now it’s obviously round and some people want to go back again.  Obviousness is not a measure of truth but an accessibility to proof.  Meaning that the proof is so easily accessible anyone can see it.  The problem with the obvious now becomes that everything is now easily accessible.  Both the proof of the true and the false can be found with a few swipes of the finger.  Like a bank vault filled with half counterfeit and half legitimate money, it is no longer the receptical that matters.  We are going to basically the same place for most of our information.  It is our ability to discern the fake from the real that matters most.

zeusPersonally I am not interested in making my beliefs, your beliefs.  I put my words out there in the hopes that they resonate with some people, not everyone.  For example, I’m not sure that they exist but I think it would be really cool if there were people who still believed in the Greek gods like Zeus.  It’s obvious to me that those gods don’t work for me but for someone else, they may work great (provided they’re not hurting others).  One of the keys to this life is figuring out what works for you, not what the “best practices” or “top ten tips” are.  No one else can live your life and therefore no one else should.

Whatever it is that you decide to do, you need to OWN IT.  If you believe in it, don’t shy away from it.  The words that you say, especially to yourself are important.  They are almost important enough to tattoo on your body but make sure that first you tattoo them in your mind.  Obvious Words Now Intentionally Tattooed!  Whether it’s a dream or a lifestyle or relationship, you must OWN IT.  Regardless of what the rest of the world wants.  Because the rest of the world is not your world.

Oprah Winfrey Network Internal Technologists was the original name that I had in mind for this post.  I’m an odd bird but my oddity is mine.

Thanks.  Make today your day!

Pete

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Small Amoeba Syndrome

The life of the single celled organism, the amoeba, must be tough.  In order to survive, it needs to change its shape in order to “absorb” its food.  It is the ultimate “go-getter” in the microscopic universe.  It’s survival is completely predicated on how much and how often it “puts itself out there”.  A lazy amoeba would be a dead amoeba.

amoebaLiving in the world of higher order organisms, we are not as dependent on stretching ourselves in order to survive.  In fact over the past century we’ve been rewarded for being small amoebas.  Stretching or standing out was discouraged.  Get good grades, get into a good college, do your job and follow the rules.  Being a small amoeba is not as smart as it used to be.  The systems that rewarded the small amoeba are breaking down all over the place and we’re being asked to stretch again.

The opportunities to stretch are all around.  The problem is the same as the amoeba “Am I stretching in a direction that will help me survive?”  The trial an error method is probably a big part of the amoeba’s life and may be required of you.  This is uncomfortable.  The old system was predictable, repeatable and safe.  Even becoming a big amoeba only required adherence to the system that almost told you where to stretch.

The question is not whether the world will require you to stretch or not.  The question is whether you’ll allow yourself to be stretched, pulled apart or reach of your own volition.  Do you believe that you are a small amoeba with very defined limits?  Or are you consistently able to reach out into the void and find what you need and stretch yourself?  You are much less rigid than you think.  Most of your limits are not based on DNA but rather WTT (Willingness To Try).  The old rule book is slowly being torn apart.  You don’t need to go with it.  Reach out into the void and see what you get.  Then do it again!

Keep the Nucleus Strong!

Pete

 

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Other People’s Crap

dumbanddumberLiving with a teenage boy can be disgusting.  Having grown up in a house with three brothers, any one of us had the ability to make everyone else leave the house based on a bodily function.  We were delighted by our own disgusting-ness.  Since the offensive odor belonged to us, we were almost immune to it.  Eventually we all turned into civilized human beings but I’m sure there was some real doubt from my mother for a while.  I’m sure that most mothers occasionally envision their sons growing up to be lifelong bachelors.  Not by choice but by necessity.  Her grownup boy would be alone in a one bedroom apartment playing video games, farting and giggling.  He would be completely nose-blind to his effect on others.  Luckily most boys figure out their effect on others and keep their crap to themselves.

The things about other people’s actual crap is that we generally don’t have to deal with it.  It’s a private thing that they must take care of.  However when it comes to their figurative crap, it’s easy for you to see what they should do with it.  Think of it now.  All of the brilliant things that you’ve thought up for other people.  It’s a pretty pervasive thing.  I’ve worked as a garbage man where my coworkers had “great ideas” for the government, the boss, that CEO or the president.  The crap is so much easier when it’s not yours.

So maybe it’s time that you write down the solutions to that other person’s crap.  Write a nice little letter or email to Jane or John Doe.  Sending the message will be easy because their address (physical or email) is the same as yours.  You’ll be intimately aware of all of their issues because they’re the same as yours.  The letter is your chance to be separate from the issues and come from the outside perspective.  What would you tell a friend, colleague or loved one to do with your situation?  You’d know how to help them wouldn’t you?  Sit down, take the time to actually write out one problem and one solution.  DON’T FIX EVERYTHING AT ONCE!  Just one.  Start small.  There will be more crap tomorrow.  It’s not going anywhere until you do something about it.  Because other than your mom, no one’s cleaning up after you.

Get sponge and bucket!

Pete

Blogpost

The Fog Barrier

FoggyThe future is out there and you’re going to arrive at it whether you’re ready or not.  The problem is that the future is unclear like on a really foggy morning.  The haze itself is nothing to fear.  It will dissipate as you get closer.  It’s possible to move at full speed in territory that is known and clear.  On new and uncertain paths, it’s important to manage your speed with your field of vision.  Going too fast on a new road could end in a crash.  The thing is that most people are not afraid of the ditch, pothole or even the wall.  They’re afraid of the uncertainty that the fog brings.

The fog is the barrier that they can’t get past because it is SO frightening not to know.  Fear is the fog and avoiding it shrinks the world down to almost nothing.  The only way to get the fog to disappear is to go into it.  It doesn’t disperse with time, compliments from friends or likes social media.  Motion/action is what is needed to break through the fog barrier.  By all means, manage your speed and watch out for potholes but never let the fog stop you in your tracks.  It’s not a wall!  Unless you make it one.

Move on through today!

Pete

Blogpost

Human -ing

Human ingThe act of being human is not always an easy one.  Despite all of our advantages, we still run into plenty of obstacles and potholes.  There is an odd feeling that I have inside that I am more than one person.  I’ve written before about my fascination with a scene from Lord of the Rings that personifies that internal struggle.  However today I’m thinking of a much more strategical breakdown to the human animal.  We are all in a constant cycle of -ing.

Human Being – This is our general state.  Much like an idling car, we all have our own base state.  This may be influenced by outside factors but in general it is within our capacity to control.  Who are you being on a regular basis?  The -ing is important because it is a present progressive.  Who you’ve been in the past is not important.  The present is a new choice for you to be.

Human Meaning – As we are being our way through the day, things are going to happen.  It is inevitable.  Humans are not always objective creatures.  We generally put meaning onto the things that happen.  Something happened, that means; I’m going to be late, people appreciate me, I’m worthless, it’s a complete success or a million other things that we’ve made up in our own heads.  Since the stories inside of our heads about the meanings behind things are completely made up by us, then wouldn’t it be intelligent to give things a meaning that helps us?  As the writer of your own programming, this seems the most sensible thing to do.

Human Doing – Once we’ve put ourselves into a position for a successful day by being in a winning state.  Then putting the most helpful meaning onto all external events.  The only -ing left is what to do.  Doing is the end step that brings the cycle back around.  There is definitely enough evidence around to support the fact that the internal human game is extremely important.  However we were always meant to be creatures of action.  Man was meant to MANufacture, MANifest, MANage and MANeuver through this world to greater heights.

So as you are going through your day.  Pay attention to the -ing that you are in.  Are you being in your best interest?  Is the meaning that you give to your circumstances helpful?  And especially, what are you doing with what you have?  It won’t always be perfect but that’s alright because you weren’t meant to be either.  My hope is that you’re at least progressing!

Have a great day!

Pete

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The Perfect Prison

ShawshankThe Shawshank Redemption is one of my all time favorite movies.  Based on how often it is shown on TV, I’m not the only one.  SPOILER ALERT!  If somehow you’ve not seen this movie that was released in 1994 and don’t want it ruined, STOP READING!  (For those that are pressing on)  The movie and the book that it is based on recount the multiple decades of Andy Dufresne’s life in Shawshank State Penitentiary as the wrongly convicted murderer of his wife and her lover.  There are some differences between the movie and the book but mostly Andy is a methodically planning his escape through a tunnel in his cell wall.  He finally achieves his goal after years of slow chiseling and eventually crawling through a shit-filled pipe.  Shawshank was not meant to hold Andy Dufresne because he was free where it counted most, in his mind.

While most of us can’t imagine living Andy’s life in Shawshank, we can definitely imagine the way that we wish our life was.  We wish that things were easier, less busy, more money, fewer problems and more “perfect”.  The problem with the image of perfect is that it is a prison of its own.   That image exists in a completely fictitious world where things just fall into place magically.  While it may be a nice diversion, it is not anything resembling a game plan.

So if you want to break free from the prison of that perfect image and move to real freedom, you may need to follow the path of Andy Dufresne.  Chisel away at that dream that you have, possibly for years.  Take joy discarding the small pieces of rubble that you’ve chipped away from the wall in front of you.  Just be ready when you finally feel that you’ve broken through, there could still be 500 yards of shit for you to crawl through.  Expecting that type of a path will make your real journey to your dream life seem like a walk in the park!

Break out the rock hammer!Rock hammer

Pete

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Manufacturing the Rolling Stones

Rolling stonesThe Rolling Stones are iconic and endured long past most of their contemporaries.  That type of longevity mixed with commercial success is worth noting and aspiring to but not manufacturing.  Trying to manufacture the Rolling is not only impossible, it feels foolish to suggest trying.  Despite this realization in the folly of trying to manufacture the next Rolling Stones, people seem obsessed with being the next Uber, AirBnB, Amazon or Lebron.  Either individually or organizationally at certain point, we all must break away from the icons that we adore in order to stand in our own right.

Twentyone pilotsFor the moment, my daughter is listening to Twenty One Pilots.  I’ve enjoyed their music because much like the Rolling Stones, they have their own style.  It has been a long time since a musical group has not sounded like some derivative of a style or past performer.  It’s possible that I missed who they are copying but for now I’ll stay impressed.

The mixture of uncertainty and pervasive broadcasting of “success” through social media leads to a desire to impersonate.   Trying to emulate the airbrushed life of a quasi-celebrity is an exercise in futility and disappointment.  Regardless of the person, what you see is not 100% of who they are.  It is the public version or the highlighted reel.  Holding yourself to that standard will end in failure.

So hold yourself to your own standard!  Can you be influenced by others?  Absolutely!  Borrow, experiment and test but in the end your product is going to need a huge helping of YOU at its core.  Keeping that in mind from the outset will allow you to be a much happier version of yourself.  Comparison can be a killer because you know everything about only one person in the comparison, you.  You know every thought, fear, desire and screw up.  No matter who you’re comparing yourself to, you’ll never know all of that.  So you’ll either be too hard on them or yourself and usually it’s the latter.

So go out there and be you today.  Wear your flaws and shortcomings like they’re some of your best accessories because in all honesty, THEY ARE!  Just imagine, there is probably someone out there who would love to be you and the message to them is the same.  They can’t be.  So go be yourself.

Have a great Monday!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

The Championship Photo

ChampionshipPhotoIn this country and around the world Champions are lauded for their accomplishments.  Usually the scene of victory is filled with a trophy to be kissed, confetti falling, champagne popping and players/fans rejoicing.  The reason that this scene is so easy to recreate in one’s mind is that it is pervasive throughout sport.  Depending on the particular sport, one could be even more specific about the scene.  Regardless of which championship is won there is an invisible specter that is ever-present but has seemingly been forgotten by many who are watching.  The fruits of the labor are on full display but the labor often gets overlooked.  In a world where instant gratification is becoming more of the norm will we be seduced by the empty triumph of getting the small reward now or choose the labor that creates real results?  The answer is that both will happen.

There will be many people who get swept up in the power of the “Now Economy”.  They will take the short term rewards and overlook some of the long term consequences.  It is not a surprising phenomena that people take the easier path.  On a biochemical level, our reward system is easily seduced by the immediate regardless of its hollowness.  It takes time and training to override this system.

The greatest of all time were able to train themselves to be long term greedy.  Rather than giving in to the temptation of the moment, they put in the work now in order to reap the benefits later.  Often that was months or even years later.  The prize at the end may have been what drove them but the process of attaining greatness is won daily.

Each of us has the power within to choose.  There probably won’t be a championship trophy at the end for most of us.  Our accomplishments won’t be on ESPN.  It will almost all happen on the inside.  The triumph will be over self and circumstance with only a few fans (friends and family) there to celebrate.  Will you be able to hold your head high based on what you have done?  Or will you be looking down at the path of shortcuts that you took to run yourself in circles?  You have the power to choose and you’re choosing right now.  Choose wisely!

Pete