There is an actual condition called Oneirophobia which is the fear of dreams, specifically nightmares or nigh terrors. That’s not what I’m talking about at all. I am worried that people are afraid of today are the more common place aspirations. Those things that we had when we were kids! We were all astronauts, cowboys or both! That’s not to say that we need to be fool-hearty or dimwitted. Reality is a factor that needs to be considered. However, there seems to be a space between jumping and flying that we are leaving largely undiscovered or even ignored. Not due to a lack of propulsion potential but a fear of not reaching the desired height.
As a former high jumper, I understand the mental blocks that exist with achieving certain heights. For well over a year, I tried and failed to clear 6 feet 0 inches. Incremental improvement on certain tasks can be time consuming and frustrating. However, I never stopped jumping. In fact, I probably had more attempts at 6’0″ in that year than any prior or since. The problem that I am so concerned with is the concept that if I can’t clear my goal, then I shouldn’t bother to jump. The desire for the result should be a form of fuel but the possibility of failure should not inherently be a brake or an anchor. Guarantees of success are hard to come by in this world and becoming dependent upon them is a strategy wrought with more disappointment than failure could ever offer. The simple and mundane are the only things that are guaranteed.
So be willing to risk failure, possibly even spectacular failure! That risk is the price that one must pay for anything worth having. Don’t fear to dream! Dare to dream! We are not the ancestors of idle dreamers. It is only because they did, that we get to continue to do. Change your dreams, sure! Adjust your plans, fine! But do not fear to dream! Otherwise you won’t have to dream about your tomorrow. It will look exactly like today or maybe a little worse.
We belong
In a world that must be strong
Oh, that’s what dreams are made of
And in the end
On dreams we will depend
‘Cause that’s what love is made of! – Dreams by Van Halen
Pete
There is so much fear at the moment about failure, rejection, looking foolish or being called out. These are not new fears by any stretch but they seem to have become more pervasive as each of us lives a half-public life. At times, I feel slightly sorry for the people who have grown up in a world with the internet and social media. Largely because they’ve never known anything different. Since I am not a digital native (first time on the internet was in college), I remember a time where I could fall flat on my face and only the people there to see it could really laugh. So taking chances on things that might not work felt “safer”. Although it may not always seem that way, it is a choice to feel safe or afraid.
My first car was a 1977 Chevy Nova! I inherited it from my great aunt and it was the perfect first car. It had holes in the floor boards where you could actually see the road below you. It had an 8 Track tape player in it that never really worked. It was pale blue and covered with rust spots, as you can tell from the description, I loved it! There were plenty of reasons to love it that had nothing to do with how looked or how it ran. And now looking back on it, I understand even better that it was the perfect first car exactly because it was a piece of junk. At no point did I ever have to worry about messing it up. I learned how to change the oil, replace the bulbs and change tires on that car. At no point did I think, “If I mess this up, I’m screwed!”
The ability to see past the obvious and simple solution is not one that everyone possesses. Judging books by their covers or even first chapters is not always the best strategy. Not everything in the world is completely formulaic. Even some chemical formulas require a catalyst to increase the rate of their reaction. Despite these facts, there is a solid majority of people that believe the obvious answer is the only possible answer. One of the main reasons is that it is comfortable. Comfort is probably the ethos of our age. So the reason that I asked you not to read this blog is that I want you act on it.
I have a very clear recollection of the day that I passed the test that told me that I was ready to be a father. I was on the bottom floor of my in-laws’ house on a lake in Virginia. A strange sound came from outside that I didn’t recognize. A few seconds later my wife screamed my name. It was the kind of scream that I knew something was wrong. I jumped up and sprinted out the door. When I reached my wife on the deck outside, I quickly found out the source of the sound and why she screamed. Our dog, Kelme, was pinned down by another dog that was attacking him. The two dogs were about ten feet below the deck on the rocks that sloped down toward the lake. Without a moment’s hesitation, I jumped over the deck’s railing and dropped the ten feet landing next to the two dogs. Luckily my sudden appearance and loud shouts were enough to scare the dog off without my having to fight him. I picked up Kelme and raced him to the vet with my wife. His wounds were very minor and he made a full and energetic recovery. It was after that incident that I knew for sure that I could be a father.
Not everyone gets that type of real life test that tells them something important about themselves. Generally people have to take a leap of faith that they can handle the situation. The phrase there is not unimportant, “leap”. I can’t say for certain whether I would have gotten the same type of self-assurance from that situation had I run down the stairs to Kelme’s aid. The jump was important because it separated me completely from safety and put me directly into harm’s way: both from the rocks and the dog. The willingness to take the risk of the leap was key. Lives don’t need to be at stake. Broken limbs and dog attacks don’t need to be risked.
It’s something that every single one of us went through at one point or another. The hard-wiring is built deep within us based on our ancestors’ need to survive. Fear of the dark, unknown, bumps in the night, the boogeyman and the like are so natural that I do not blame anyone for that response. Even at the ripe age of 41, I still have that response to some situations. Even though I know that this is to a certain extent instinctual, it is possible to train it out. I no longer check for monsters under my bed at night. The question on my brain tonight is, would it be possible (and advantageous) to not only train the fear out but instill a sense of dominance over the monsters?
The future is out there and you’re going to arrive at it whether you’re ready or not. The problem is that the future is unclear like on a really foggy morning. The haze itself is nothing to fear. It will dissipate as you get closer. It’s possible to move at full speed in territory that is known and clear. On new and uncertain paths, it’s important to manage your speed with your field of vision. Going too fast on a new road could end in a crash. The thing is that most people are not afraid of the ditch, pothole or even the wall. They’re afraid of the uncertainty that the fog brings.
Huryk Unlimited 