Tag: learning

self-reliance

Everything But…

Pete Huryk

IMG_3064In this extremely fast paced world, it’s easy to get distracted from that which is important in favor of that which seems important.  It is the reason why we make shopping lists and set reminders for ourselves.  Getting caught up in the moment is not only normal, it seems to be a way of life.  Despite all of the technological and societal distractions, it would seem as though we might have accidentally thrown out all of our babies in order to make room for more bathwater.  Perhaps it is time to decide what is truly important and focus on it.

There are plenty of people who will get married this year.  They will painstakingly search for a great venue, a photographer, delicious food, the right guest-list and register for the perfect gifts.  But before they did all of that hard work, they forgot to find someone worth spending their life with.

We have access to amazing communication devices in our pockets and at our fingertips.  There is the capability to reach the other side of the world, translate to almost any language and do it instantaneously.  But we rarely say things that mean much of anything.  There is so much coming at us that it all becomes devalued.  We tend to only listen in order to respond, not to understand or empathize.

Students and teachers are no longer bound by the bricks in the walls of their buildings.  All facts are available at a moment’s notice and the greatest minds are within reach.  Yet our young people are worried about grades that will soon not matter and facts that have little value.  The word educate comes from the root educe which means to bring out or develop.  The cramming information in might not be the best way to draw out our young people’s genius.

These are just three examples where we seem to be so caught up in the process that we have forgotten why the process was invented.  When broken down to the core, the world is a relatively simple place.  We are here to survive first.  Once that is taken care of we look to progress and we do both more effectively together.  So get back to the core of what you do and why it is done at all.    If you are in school, then learn, regardless of the grades.  If you’re in a relationship, then relate, give of yourself and be willing to be changed.  The superficialities of life can only sustain us for so long.  Our true progress depends on depth of experience and it needs to be found again.  Right now are you focused on ANYTHING BUT THE THINGS THAT MATTER?

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

We’re All Pretenders

Pete Huryk

IMG_3059Kids pretend all the time.  They turn sticks into swords, a backyard into a jungle and anything has the potential to be magical.  Then as we grow, it seems to be trained out of us.  We tend to see ourselves in finite terms.  Our limits are not those of our imagination but rather of our circumstances.  We don’t consider the impossible or even the improbable because it has been trained out of us.  Pretending is child’s play and most of us consider ourselves too mature to do that.  The truth is that we’re all pretenders, we’ve just bought into a more sophisticated game.

If you have a dollar in your pocket, take it out and look at it, try to come up with another use for it other than to purchase something.  Possibly a book mark or it could be folded to straighten a wobbly table.  Thousands of years ago, someone came up with the idea of money and got enough people to believe in it, that now it largely runs the world.  At home I have some Ecuadorian Sucre coins and bills.  They’re worthless to just about everyone in the world because Ecuador stopped using the Sucre years ago.  New pieces are used in the game that they’re playing.

There are systems that have been put into place for decades, centuries or millennia.  Learning to negotiate within those systems is extremely important.  However you must always remember that we’re all pretending on some level.  I’m pretending to be a writer.  If I do a good enough job, more people will buy into that role that I’ve imagined for myself.  If I do a poor job, I won’t get to play that game anymore.

So since we’re all pretending on some level, why not go out into the world with all of your guns blazing?  Pretend so hard on the things that matter to you that no one will doubt that you are exactly who you’re pretending to be.  The other option is to take the role that you’ve been dealt by your circumstances because your not willing to pretend anymore.  Acceptance of the boundaries of your life seems a lot like a cage.  The origin of the word pretend is Latin.  It means “before the stretch”.  It is the precursor to growth.  So keep pretending until you stretch to your actual limits, not the ones that were thrust upon you.

Have a great day!

Pete

Uncategorized

Soccer in American Football Terms: Offside

Pete Huryk

It has come to that time of year where many American football* fans are without a team to root for until the Super Bowl when they hope for good commercials.  If you are a soccer fan and have a football fan in your life who is interested in learning about soccer, then I have some tips below.  (NOTE: Do not try to convert the unwilling football fan.  Save your energy for the father-in-law who has grand-kids that play.  Trying to convert the uninterested usually backfires.)

The most incomprehensible thing about soccer to most football fans that I’ve spoken to is the offside rule.  Luckily there is a pretty easy way to convey the concept using football terms.  The key is to take the rule that they already understand and tweak it to help them understand the soccer equivalent.  If you’re not a football person, you might first need to brush up your understanding of the carrying game first.

Offside in football is a foul in which a player is on the wrong side of the line of scrimmage when the ball is snapped. This foul occurs simultaneously with the snap. Unlike offensive players, defensive players are not compelled to come to a set position before the snap.

FootballOverheadScrimmage

In soccer there is no line of scrimmage nor a “snap” of the ball.  Since the ball is almost continuously in play, the rule is a bit harder to police but understanding is all that we’re aiming for now.  First of all, only offensive players can be called offside and only in their offensive half of the field (nearest the goal they intend to score on).  The line for offside is not a fixed yard line but rather it moves with the last defender** equivalent to the defensive position of safety. (See Below)

FootballOverheadSafety

So since the ball is almost always in play, offensive players are moving around and can even cross the offside line.  A call of offside is made when an offensive player is in an offside position and the ball is played toward him or her.  In football terms, the wide receiver cannot run past the invisible yard line of the safety until the ball is thrown by the quarterback.  So the timing of streak (go), post and corner routes need to be timed very well.  If the ball is not passed before the intended receiver gets by the “safety”, he’ll be offside.  Curl and comeback routes can be effective in keeping a player onside.  But if he is offside at the time of the pass, receiving the ball in an offside position doesn’t matter (like a defensive lineman who tries to jump back as the ball is snapped).

FootballOnside
The Receiver on the 15 yard line is onside at the time of the pass.
FootballOffside
The player in the end-zone is offside because he’s beyond the last defender at the time of the pass.

The player possessing the ball cannot be offside.  So a player can dribble through the offside line.  Therefore if the quarterback or running back carry the ball forward, they are not offside.

 

That pretty much sums it up.  If I’ve missed anything, please leave it in the comments below and I’ll adjust it.  Pass this information along to a football fan that cares to learn.

* I don’t like using the term American football but I do it to avoid confusion.  I also dislike using one sport to explain another but have done this

**This statement is partially false.  The last defender needs to have the goalkeeper behind them.  This is something that soccer fans and even referees get wrong from time to time.  Two defenders (one usually being the goalkeeper) need to be between the offender and the goal line.  If the goalkeeper goes out of the goal a far distance, one defender is not enough to keep an offensive player onside.

self-reliance

G.O.Y.A! And Do It!

Pete Huryk

IMG_2971There are plenty of commercials from my childhood that stick out.  Growing up at the beginning of the Super Bowl Commercial craze gave us plenty of memorable advertisements.  “Where’s the beef?” from Wendy’s.  Bird vs Jordan shooting contest.  This is your brain on drugs.  These all caught my attention because they were either clever or memorable for positive reasons.

One commercial that stood out for another reason was for GOYA beans.  The catch phrase “GOYA, oh boya!” was so inane that it stuck.  Inevitably when I am food shopping for my family, the big letters G O Y A stick out and remind me of the stupid tag line.  So I have decided to associate something new to that can and the beans that sit inside.  GOYA is now an acronym.  It stands for “Get Off Your ASS!”

It is a call to action and action is all that matters after all.  The commercials that are running in our minds should be moving us forward.  I’m sure that if you’re anything like me, there are commercials running for sleep, junk-food, relaxation, sex and beer… sweet beer.  The commercials for these things are not hard to run because they represent our surface level desires.  At a much deeper level, we want to have health, wealth and good relationships.  These things require a much greater effort than the shallow desires of the moment.  So it is up to us to stick deliberately put in those commercials for beans, ACTION BEANS.  Those less than sexy items that we need in order to get where we really want to go.  You’re running the show and when you stop for a word from the sponsors, make sure they’re the ones taking you in the right direction!

G.O.Y.A!  And do it!

Pete

self-reliance

Missing From the Story

Pete Huryk

MissingStories are an integral part of our society and have been for thousands of years.  Whether the Odyssey, the Bible, Star Wars or Romeo & Juliet, the stories of the present and past have almost all been intended to tell us something.  Not particularly something about the past although many are historical in nature.  More often than not, stories are trying to tell us something about the human condition.  Although a form of entertainment, they can also be instructive.

Characters are not just imaginary people to play make believe for us real humans.  They represent a myriad of possible traits, life courses and mindsets.  Whether Han Solo, Jesus, the Lorax or Hector, each one offers the gift of possibility.  The idea of a life slightly different from our own.  They offer themselves up in front of us on the screen or the page in order for us to judge them and their value.  At that point their power or lack there of is left up to us.

What’s missing from the story is you.  If you only admire the heroism of Han Solo or the kindness of Jesus but never transfer it into your own life, then these characters truly are lifeless.  However, if you’re willing to take up their plight from the page, then they truly do live.  It is not enough for heroism, kindness and love to exist in movies and books because evil and hatred are alive in the real world.  So if you truly love a movie or book, then show it by becoming an actor.  A person who acts in the stead of those imaginary people.  The world is waiting for your story to be told and you’re the only thing that’s missing.

Act today!

Pete

self-reliance, Uncategorized

Daily Diet of Cake Icing

Pete Huryk

IcingoncakeIn kindergarten (at least according to my recollection), I was the fastest kid in Mrs. Palma’s class.  The reason that I know this is that we often had races across the blacktop outside of the classroom.  I won everyone that I ran in.  Although my memory is extremely fuzzy about that time period, I can make this statement for a few reasons with little fear of repercussion.  First, it’s possible that it is true.  I definitely wasn’t the slowest in the class.  Second, everyone else’s memory is probably as fuzzy if not fuzzier than mine.  Finally and most important, IT DOESN’T MATTER!  While this may have been extremely relevant over thirty years ago, it’s importance has taken a nose dive down to zero.

Throughout our lives we re-calibrate the things that we build our self-esteem around.  In a young person’s world, the focus is almost exclusively on short term races.  Winning, the game, getting the right answer, having the newest outfit and other activities are momentary wins that give a quick burst of self-esteem.  Most are not meant to be long lasting nor remembered years later.  They are the icing on the cake because most of your life is about other things.

The real substance of life is made up by those things that we do on a regular basis.  The more generalized self-esteem comes from all of the little things.  Those thoughts, words and actions make us either proud or disappointed in who we are as people.  It is not a competition to be better than someone else but rather a verification that we are living up to our own principles.  Through the years the layers of who we are can either become a cake filled with robust flavor or a turd that needs to be covered in icing to hide its true taste.  These are not the only two options but reality’s limits are informed by the extremes.

So the daily choice comes down to you.  Choose who it is that you want to be and take the time to deliberately define the ingredients that you’ll allow into your life.  Or use any icing that you can find in order to cover up the distaste that you have for yourself.  Unfortunately both work but the latter will leave you malnourished and unable to run the long race of life with anything more than fits and spurts.  Everyone needs to feel good about themselves but a life made mainly of fluff will most likely not sustain.

Happy birthday!

Pete

 

self-reliance

You Don’t Know Me!

Pete Huryk

IMG_2967It was an absolute revelation!  Never before and not since had I ever seen a short part of a movie and instantly gone to Blockbuster to rent it  (Even more difficult to do now that BB is out of business).  The movie was Swingers and the scene was when Mike’s friends are trying to help him with his abilities talking to women.  The scene is mildly inconsequential but the idea could be life changing.

Mike had just failed at an attempt to make conversation with a girl at a bar.  He returns to his friends dejected, saying that “she didn’t like me.”  His friends, Trent and Sue (a guy), explain that he’s a bigger catch than he thinks (in a much more comical way).  They compare him to a bear and the girl to a bunny.  Armed with this new perspective and self-image, he goes back up to the girl and is able to get her phone number.  Watch the clip for the full picture.

This scene was extremely helpful from two perspectives.  First, I got a clearer picture of how I was presenting myself in those situations.  Second, I recognized that in those situations, the girl was not rejecting me but rather her perception of me.  I could do some things to influence that perception but ultimately accepted or rejected, it was only a perception.

The only person who knows every single: thought, action and intention of yours is you.  Keep that in mind at all times.  Your life is going to be filled with people who will pass judgment on their perception of you, not the real you.  So choose deliberately who you will and will not allow to affect your perception of yourself.  It’s the most important relationship that you have, so know yourself as best as you can.  Maintain a positive relationship and know yourself well enough to be able to predict your own behavior.  When someone gets the wrong idea about you, consider their perspective but only let them change your perspective on you if it’s in your interest, not particularly theirs.

You’re a big bear man!

Pete

self-reliance

Mr. Magoo, An American Idol?

Pete Huryk

MagooIdols are supposed to be held in high esteem, the very personification of the things that we want to be.  It hit me like a lightning bolt this morning that Mr. Magoo is truly an American idol for so many people.  For those youngsters out there, Mr. Magoo was a cartoon character whose poor eyesight routinely got him into precarious situations but he always escapes unscathed and sometimes falls into good fortune.  Feel free to watch one Mr. Magoo cartoon on YouTube.  Once you’ve seen one, you’ve basically seen them all (minus little details).  The overarching idea behind Mr. Magoo is that his problem would be easily fixed if he were just to put on his glasses but he wants to deny his problem rather than face it.

Although it isn’t pretty, this seems to be a scarily accurate description of how many of us live our lives.  We recognize our problem but are too damn stubborn, lazy or indifferent to do anything about it.  Seemingly our greatest hope is that we can meander through life blind to our inadequacies and not have them bite us in the ass.  While this makes for a mildly amusing cartoon, it is a disastrous strategy for living a life of fulfillment and progress.

Rather than turning a blind eye to your inadequacies, stare at them with crystal clear vision, even put them under a microscope if need be.  Decide what you truly want: to feel good in the moment or feel good long term.  If you want the Magoo life, then by all means turn the blind eye.  BUT if you want more from your life, then you and you alone will need to make the decision to systematically work on your areas of weakness until they can no longer hurt you.  Maybe it’s something as simple as putting on glasses but perhaps it will take years or even decades to overcome.  Regardless, it’s up to you to Magoo or not.

Pete

 

 

self-reliance

Bad Gladiators Died

Pete Huryk

gladiatorIt wasn’t a 100% binary equation.  Gladiators could win, lose or “tie”.  Not even all of the defeated were condemned to death.  Despite these extenuating circumstances, one thing is most definitely certain, bad gladiators died.  I have no desire to bring back gladiatorial games or anything of the sort but in some ways our pendulum has swung too far in the other direction.

In modern society the crowd would seemingly want every gladiator to feel like a winner.  Swords would be made of foam rubber but helmets would still be worn just in case.  Gladiators would be paired by skill level and the most likely death would come from boredom of the truly talented gladiators.  While I am not a fan of truly “zero sum games”, there have to be stakes.  Gladiators got good because they had to.  Everyone knew that bad gladiators die, the gladiators knew this best.

By all accounts we do not live in a gladiatorial society nor would I truly want to.  A bloodthirsty mob looking to revel in the pain of the vanquished is not where we need to go.  However a world without stakes has no incentive to move forward.  The same holds for an individual.  What is at stake for you today?  Have you set yourself up in a game where you can win, lose or tie?  Or is nothing at stake today?  Are you armed with your foam rubber sword hacking away at the same meaningless opponent that you fought yesterday?  Bad gladiators of the past got to die quickly.  Bad gladiators today die slowly while trying to reassure themselves that they would be lethal if not for this foam rubber.  The price of finding out if you’re good or not is to risk the possibility of dying on the metaphorical sword.  That might be embarrassment, finances, time or many other things but something needs to be at stake.  So step into the arena, put something on the line and see what you’re made of!

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena!

Pete

 

 

self-reliance

Wish You Were Here (and I wasn’t)

Pete Huryk

WishYouWereHereIt is not an uncommon thing at all to wish for a future that is yet to come or a past that is long gone.  Humans have the blessing and the curse to be able to mentally exist in the past and future while ignoring the present.  It is a blessing because it allows us the freedom to live in the most useful plane.  The curse is the propensity to relive or project the worst of experiences or possibilities.  At all times, the mind has the capability of transporting the self elsewhere.  With this ultimate power to determine much of our existence, surprisingly most people defer control to the moment or to their “monkey mind”.  Imagine if you will driving a car with no steering wheel.  The gas and the brakes are great tools but without the ability to steer, one is at the mercy of the terrain and the tires.

So the key to moving forward in a direction of your own desire means developing a steering mechanism.  How long would you drive that car without a steering wheel?  Not long at all before you or someone else added that key component.  The key to your mental steering comes down to practice.  Pulling your mind in the direction of your choosing on a regular basis.  When it wanders, you must take control again.  Under no circumstances is this easy.  It’s easy to be swayed by right now.  It’s easy to run the patterns that you’ve been running for years or decades.  Those are the paths of least resistance but I assure you that they will not get you to your destination in a timely or comfortable manner.

So take this moment to decide.  Decide who you are now and who you want to be in the future (you can’t fix the past but you can change its meaning).  Once you have those in mind, start with a half hour each day where you think and act only in line with that vision.  If your mind wanders, bring it back!  As you get better and better at completing that half hour, it will begin to dump over into the other hours of the day.  Eventually the you from the vision and your reality will be one in the same.  The only question for now is, are you willing to take control?

Bon Voyage!

Pete