Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

The Championship Photo

ChampionshipPhotoIn this country and around the world Champions are lauded for their accomplishments.  Usually the scene of victory is filled with a trophy to be kissed, confetti falling, champagne popping and players/fans rejoicing.  The reason that this scene is so easy to recreate in one’s mind is that it is pervasive throughout sport.  Depending on the particular sport, one could be even more specific about the scene.  Regardless of which championship is won there is an invisible specter that is ever-present but has seemingly been forgotten by many who are watching.  The fruits of the labor are on full display but the labor often gets overlooked.  In a world where instant gratification is becoming more of the norm will we be seduced by the empty triumph of getting the small reward now or choose the labor that creates real results?  The answer is that both will happen.

There will be many people who get swept up in the power of the “Now Economy”.  They will take the short term rewards and overlook some of the long term consequences.  It is not a surprising phenomena that people take the easier path.  On a biochemical level, our reward system is easily seduced by the immediate regardless of its hollowness.  It takes time and training to override this system.

The greatest of all time were able to train themselves to be long term greedy.  Rather than giving in to the temptation of the moment, they put in the work now in order to reap the benefits later.  Often that was months or even years later.  The prize at the end may have been what drove them but the process of attaining greatness is won daily.

Each of us has the power within to choose.  There probably won’t be a championship trophy at the end for most of us.  Our accomplishments won’t be on ESPN.  It will almost all happen on the inside.  The triumph will be over self and circumstance with only a few fans (friends and family) there to celebrate.  Will you be able to hold your head high based on what you have done?  Or will you be looking down at the path of shortcuts that you took to run yourself in circles?  You have the power to choose and you’re choosing right now.  Choose wisely!

Pete

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Your Part of You’re Problem

ObesityIt’s Mr. Baxter from 7th grade science class that started my tendency toward being a spelling/grammar Nazi.   Two times receiving a 99.5% based on spelling errors was enough frustration to get me to pay attention.  I fully recognize that language is a fluid and live thing.  Every day we can influence it for the better or worse.  Outside of church, very few people are using “thine” and “thou”.  These words have been morphed and replaced with their more recent counterparts.  Change is not my concern.  It is laziness and apathy.

Widespread education and technological advances have democratized access to knowledge and the overwhelming response of the public has been indifference.  There was a time in this country when only a select few could hope to become educated.  The huge supply of knowledge seems to have caused an equally huge plummet in demand.  While this lowering of expectation has happened in the realm of language, it is just as obvious in personal health, civic responsibility and many other areas of life.  As the challenges of life have become easier, we seem to be less inclined to meet them head on.  Instead we have found a degree of comfort in social proof.  If “everyone else” is holding a low standard, then it makes us feel that we are OK.

What if you were the one to hold the line for yourself?  Not to tell the world that it is wrong but to do what is right for yourself and those around you.  If you held the line on your health, your marriage, your relations with people or yourself; what kind of a ripple effect could you have on your family, community or even the world?  Even if no one else took up your particular cause, how would it feel to be the answer to your own problem?  Deciding for yourself, exactly what you would and would not stand for could be liberating.  Rather than looking at those around you to find the path of least resistance, you could look inward to find the strength to hack out a new trail.  Our world is filled with more possibility and less hardship than every before, so are you going to sit there and bask in the glow of what our forefathers built?  Or are you going to do your own work?  The choice is yours!  And that is probably the biggest kicker of all, we get to choose to step up or not.

So I hope that you find within yourself a desire for better than most.  Be a leader by doing first.  Utherwhys whee May knot bee aybl two reklame wut weave lust!

Make today better.

Pete

 

 

Blogpost, self-reliance

Biting the Cow’s Ass

GalileoIf you go to a fine restaurant and order a steak, you will probably enjoy a fine meal and receive no side-ward glances from anyone.  The location and timing are everything.  On some level you must realize that months earlier, that steak was part of cow.  If you got dressed up, went out into the field and bit the cow’s ass, you’d definitely get a reaction especially from the cow.  There’s a place and time for almost everything.  Getting that combination right is the difference between being cheered and ridiculed.  To a certain extent, Galileo was considered a “cow-biter”.  The things that he was saying and doing were so far ahead of their time that no one understood them.  He was even excommunicated from the church for his beliefs.  People were not ready to hear what he was saying because they were too invested in their worldview.

The entire world is never going to cheer or ridicule you but it feels that way when those close to you do either.  In order to become the best version of yourself, you will need to change some things.  While some may be subtle, others may be drastic and misunderstood by your “world” (friends, family, colleagues).  The people close to you are invested in who you are now.  That better version of you is something that they might not be ready for.  Your actions may force them to see things in themselves that they do not like.  That’s not your burden to bear.  It is your job to decide if you’re a cow-biter or Galileo.

Can you see a future that you want to create for yourself?  If you’re a true believer in that future, then don’t worry about the people who think you’re a cow-biter.  They are invested in your yesterday and you’re using today to build a better tomorrow.

Sink your teeth into today!

Pete

 

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Call Him Double Down

DoubleDownMike – “This is Trent. We call him Double Down.”

Trent. – “Stop right there!  Ladies, don’t you always double down on an 11?”

Lisa – “No matter what. Like splitting aces.”

It’s a smart play to double down on an 11 in Black Jack because your chances of hitting 21 are worth the extra gamble.  On the other hand, it’s foolish to double down on a losing hand.  In cards your chances are based on mathematical probability.  Playing the odds is the name of the game.  Avoid the slim odds!

In our lives, the game is not entirely mathematical.  Decisions are made for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with probability.  Emotion, prior programming and a host of other variables lead to the less than logical decisions that we humans make regularly.  For example I double down on mistakes.  It’s not something I do intentionally.  It happens less today than it did a few years ago but it happens.  Most of the improvement in this area is due to habits and pre-scripting.

Like doubling down on an 11, daily habits that have the greatest possibility of working are key.  Usually these habits are not hard to find.  You know what they are but in the moment people get overwhelmed by emotion and choose the easy/comfortable route.  The path to where you want to go is not hard to find, it’s just hard to follow.  The more times that you follow that path, the easier it becomes to stay on.

Actors can definitely ad-lib their lines but for the most part, they work from a script.  Pre-scripting particularly difficult actions in your mind can be an effective way to get past them with the best results.  Visualizing the event in advance puts you into a proactive state of mind rather than reactive.  It does not resolve the situation in advance but can reduce the amount that emotion carried to it.

So go out into the world and bet on yourself.  Double down on the things that lead you to the life that you want.  Don’t allow yourself to bet on lottery number odds with your life.  Getting what you want is not a matter of luck, it’s a matter of time if you set the game up right!

Pete (The guy behind the guy behind the guy!)

Blogpost, self-reliance

What Won’t Be on the Test

TestThe other night I had dinner with a former student/player of mine.  We ran into each other a few months back.  Our common love of books and podcasts started the conversation.  He’s freshly out of college and we’ve been talking about life and career lately.  This dinner was a eye opening conversation for me and I’m hoping that this post will help someone who may be in the same spot as my friend.

The phrase that he uttered the most was “I don’t know.”  In some ways this could be viewed as a positive.  Moving from the teen years where young people tend to think (or project) that they know everything, “I don’t know” could be a sign of positive motion.  In this case (and possibly for this generation) there was a definite sense that his need to know was a bit of a surprise.  His GPS had gotten him to the restaurant.  He mirrored my choice in beer and our conversation followed that theme of uncertainty.  While I know that this is not completely his fault, he needs to deal with the consequences.  The finger of blame will do nothing to give him direction or satisfy the remainder of his life.  So how does one find the answers for the test that’s not coming?

The first step is recognizing that the answers are your answers, not right or wrong answers.  While the majority of a young person’s life may be spent in a very regimented existence today, the “real world” is becoming less definite each year.  The internet has changed the rules of almost every facet of our lives.  Industries that did not exist ten years ago are major components of our everyday life.  The economy, geopolitics, the job-market and many other areas of life are variable at best and regularly volatile. While this amount of change may be disconcerting to some, the way to avoid being swept away in a tumultuous seas is to have an anchor.  In a world that is always changing, it is important to find consistency in something that is under your control: YOU.

Perhaps the hand that you were dealt is not what you wanted, you still have to play it.  For most of us, mom and dad can’t be relied upon forever.  At some point we all must take responsibility.  Break that word down into “response” and “ability”.  Having the ability to respond to the good, the bad and the ugly of your life rests completely with you.  Is your response going to be “I don’t like this”, “I hate this”, “I’m not ready for this” or “I can work with this”?  Regardless of your circumstances, the only one that makes any sense is to work with the ingredients that you have.  Stop comparing your life to some celebrity’s airbrushed picture perfect life or some other source that detracts from your pure power.  No matter what comparison is a waste of time.  No one has exactly your set of unique ingredients, so the only person that you’re competing with is yourself.  There comes a time in each of our lives that we realize that this life belongs to only us.  It is not your teachers’, parents’, professors’ or bosses’ life.  If you choose to give them control, it is still your choice.  So no matter what the question, the answer is yours to choose.

The second key is realizing that time is on your side and patience truly is a virtue.  If you’re in your twenties or teens, you’ve got the time to figure things out.  Just because you don’t have the answer right now, doesn’t mean that you won’t eventually.  Amazon does not do “same day delivery” on the perfect life.  Even the most incredible stories of overnight success usually have a less known story of hardship and patience.  Unfortunately in a 140 character world, it’s easy to have expectations that surpass what the world actually consistently delivers.  The only thing that you can get RIGHT NOW is the opportunity to plant seeds that you can reap in a year, five years, ten years or more.  Climbing the mountain is not an instantaneous process and even if you could teleport there, you’d miss all of the good stuff that comes with the climb.

So take these two points out into the world and use them.  Anchor yourself with an unshakable belief that you can figure out your life on your terms.  Then be patient with your pursuits because nothing worth having comes without effort.  With those two concepts in mind, I’m sure that you’ll do well on this art project called life.  Enjoy it!  It’s yours!

Pete

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Early Seinfeld

SeinfeldSeinfeld is one of my favorite TV shows of all time.  It has so many memorable episodes and characters.  Despite my love for the series, I’m not a huge fan of the early episodes.  Many of the episodes, I just don’t find funny at all or they feel forced.  This is not surprising in the slightest.  It took those early episodes in order to get to the later ones.  Early failures lead to better episodes later.  A few of the story-lines were even repeated with better effect the second time around.  The early episodes of Seinfeld were not a good indication of where the series was going.

JKRowlingDespite all of the examples of enduring early hardship, there is still a pervasive desire for instantaneous results.  People want to be hit right away, if not sooner.  The perception of overnight success is usually due to the glossing over of the hard work done before the big break.  Sylvester Stallone was a breakout start with Rocky!  After he was a starving actor who had to deny a big pay day in order to star in his own movie.  J.K. Rowling had the blockbuster Harry Potter book series followed by movies.  After she was on welfare and had her book rejected by many publishers.  Most of us are looking for the triumph without the trials.  It seems that it doesn’t usually work that way.

The road to success in anything will most likely be filled with potholes, detours and poorly constructed bridges.  The sports car or limo that you’ve imagined yourself arriving in will probably not make the trip.  In fact you’ll probably have to go most of the way on foot.  Are you willing to make that trip?  Or will you take the easy road to Nowhere Near Where You Want To Be?  It sounds like a town that many people live in while they dream about being someplace else.

Get on the road today!

Pete

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Bock-rottom

bockrottomAbout a year ago, I was having a discussion with a friend and she said she had hit “bock-rottom”.  It was a moment of mental dyslexia.  I really liked the word but wasn’t sure what it should mean.  This morning on my run it became obvious what bock-rottom was.  Rock-bottom is the place lowest point that a person can hit.  “Hitting bock-rottom” is the act of hitting your lowest point, bouncing up and hitting the lowest point again.  It is so disorienting that it mixes up the letters.

Negative circumstances can be so discouraging that they thwart positive action.  Even worse is the discouragement of getting up from poor circumstances only to be knocked down again.  Look at that word again “discourage”.  Break it apart “dis-courage”.  The situation has taken away courage.  The thing is that courage is not created by circumstance, courage is created by people, INSIDE.  It is a choice to be courageous and one that can be made at any time.  Even in the worst of circumstances, courage is possible but are you really at bock-rottom?

If you’re reading this blog, chances are that you’re not at bock-rottom.  You’re most likely in the “pit of perception”.  You’ve made the hole that you’re in seem deeper inside your head.  Or you have a negative situation but you’re ignoring all of the positives that are working in your favor.  If you’re reading this, you have advantages that you’re probably ignoring because you’re focused on how bad it is.  You can read, you have internet access, you probably live in the US (but a shout out to my friends in India & Brazil), you have a mind that is searching for answers.  These are all advantages that can be used as weapons in the battle with your poor circumstances.  Complaining, whining and sulking are not going to help you.  Depression is not a strategy!  It’s an emotional state.  Just like a hole, you can climb out of it.

So take a moment to see where you are, since most of us are not truly at bock-rottom.  We’re in a bad spot that we need to get out of.  The fight is yours to make.  Is there any value in giving up?  Don’t surrender to circumstances.  Make your circumstances!  Here’s the theatrical version!

Make today a better day!

Pete

 

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Check the Ingredients

IngredientsAt one point in my life, ketchup was not a condiment, it was an ingredient.  Ketchup sandwiches were a staple of my diet.  Any undesirable food such as broccoli could be made digestible with an ample serving of ketchup.  Obviously this is not an ideal system for a balanced diet.  It was more of a survival tactic for an extremely picky eater rather than a conscious decision about eating good food.  Eventually I learned that ketchup was not the answer to all of my food issues.  It wasn’t versatile enough to be an everyday ingredient.

When putting together the ingredients for a great day, it is easy to think of all of the garnishes and forget about the main ingredient.  If asked what are the ingredients to a great day, what would you say?  Sunshine, a beach, friends, family, food, and drink are all things that I typically hear.  People usually don’t lead off with the number one ingredient to every day of their life.  You are the only person that will be there every single moment of every single day of your life.  So shouldn’t you be the first and most important ingredient regardless of all of the garnishes.  No matter the other circumstances that surround you, you should be the ingredient that defines the dish.

JamesEarlJonesDespite the extremely broad reach that the internet gives us, people seem to feel as though they are at the effect of their circumstances.  If circumstances were what made people, then a frail asthmatic doesn’t become a president revered for his adventures.  A stutterer doesn’t become one of the most recognizable voices of his era.  And an actor with a partially paralyzed face doesn’t become the face of multiple film series.  The truth is that we all know that circumstances are only part of the recipe.  It is just easier to use poor circumstances as an excuse for poor results.  Or a lack of resources as a reason for no results.  You may not have everything you need to make today great but you have the most important thing and that is you.  You’re the ingredient that you’ve been waiting for!  If you’ll step up to the challenge and be what today needs.

Go be the best you today!

Pete

 

 

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Completely Focused On Being Scattered

In 1925 President Calvin Coolidge famously said that “The business of America is business.”  Almost a full century later, those words are still quoted often enough for it to be recognized.  Since the proliferation of the internet to most households, the pace of information exchange and communication has continued to increase almost exponentially.  The problem is that with so much information flying around, very few people are taking the time to communicate or do anything to the best of their ability.  It seems that with technology as our guide “The business of America is BUSYness.”   There is no soap box under my feet.  I am not chastising, judging or pointing a ridiculing finger.  This post is as much for me as it is for anyone who reads it.

focusDistraction is a way of life in the country at the moment.  Not only is completing tasks without getting distracted difficult but the fear of missing out (FOMO) seems to be an almost pervasive issue.  People have divided their focus between too many activities and are simultaneously getting distracted from them.  It’s a recipe for disaster no matter how you slice it.  No one can be everywhere for everyone every time.  Distraction always comes with a price tag and it is not you who is profiting.  The losses are felt by you, your family, your friends, your colleagues and classmates.  The people who are actually in your life are the ones who are missing out on a key component of their experience and that is you.  All of you, not the partial you that has a technological device in hand “JUST IN CASE!”  The cyborg version of you that cannot let go of the phone, tablet or computer has a distinct weakness, it is never fully present.

So many of our systems are built largely upon attendance but that model is at best flawed and at worst catastrophically broken. Absence, attendance, presence, engagement and immersion are very different levels of an inverted pyramid of human involvement.  While attendance is a nice start, it is just barely above absence and meets only minimum requirements.  Showing up is just not enough.  To really take full advantage of this life that you have been gifted, you must strategically move up the pyramid with the things that you have decided really matter.  And there lies the problem we must DECIDE.  Decide comes from the Latin meaning to cut off.   We must cut off the things that don’t matter in order to preserve the things that do.    Our focus needs to be cut down to that which we value most.

The only person who can win this focus battle for you is you.  Anyone can suggest, plead or punish you to do it but you do not have to comply until you choose.  In the end there are so many companies and individuals who want your focus.  It is your job to divvy it out as you see fit or scatter it without a care.  Where you put your focus determines your life.  If you decide to immerse yourself in Facebook, that is your choice and far be it from me to judge.  As long as it is a decision and not a resignation to the world of distraction.  Choose what you want for yourself before others choose for you.

Pete

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.  -Theodore Roosevelt

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On Tour Now!

AdeleOn Thursday of this past week, tickets for Adele’s tour went on sale.  Through some minor internet miracle, I was able to get a pair of tickets for my wife and daughter.  They both love Adele and were extremely excited about their good fortune.  This will be my daughter’s first concert.  My wife commented that our kids have done pretty well for their first concerts: Foo Fighters at CitiField and Adele at Madison Square Garden.  By comparison, my wife first saw the Beach Boys (way past their prime) at Waterloo Village and I saw Poison at the Meadowlands.  I’m not sure that most people’s first concert experience has a big effect on them but mine did.  Please share in the comments what was the first concert that you attended.

The reason that my first concert was memorable had nothing to do with Poison.  I actually much preferred the opening act, Tesla.  After that concert, I went to Sam Goody or some other record store and bought “The Great Radio Controversy”.  It was a decent album but the music eventually became secondary to the process that it started.  The liner notes to the album explained the name of the band and what the great radio controversy was about.  After reading that bit of information, I looked further into Nikola Tesla.  It was the first time that I remember using an encyclopedia for something that was not school related (the internet was not available).  Music was a gateway to exploring information and ideas that  would not be presented in school.  This habit continued through high school with my interest in punk rock which helped to expand my vocabulary and thought processes.  At this point in my life, this form exploration is second nature and the internet has made it much easier.

The one thing that I try to avoid is getting caught in a complete echo chamber.  Although we have infinite amounts of information available to us, many people get caught listening to the same messages continuously.  This is not to say that all things are worthy of our attention.  It is important to consider what you value and be open to new possibilities when they come along.  Poison was an OK concert to begin with but if I was still only listening to “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”, I’d be worried about myself.  Although we tend to think of ourselves in very concrete terms, we should be anything but stagnant.  Seeking out the next step seems to be a better strategy than waiting for someone to tell us where to go.

Adele is on tour now because she is relevant at the moment.  There is nothing wrong with going to see Poison provided that you realize that they’re a nostalgia act.  Visiting the past is enjoyable.  Living in the past can be dangerous.  The past is unchangeable.  The present is our one opportunity to affect the future.  Decide what you need in order to take your show on the road and be tour now.

Pete