Tag: life

Blogpost, self-reliance

White Knuckles

Pete Huryk

“You were white knuckles, but it wears you down. Hold on hold on!” Like so many songs by bands that Blair Sheehan has fronted, I’m in from line one. Even though I heard this song years before it’s lyrics really took hold of me, the song was a favorite from the first listening. We’re all holding onto something. Often it’s too tight. We’re white knuckled and it’s not good for us but we persist. Usually because we’re invested in the sunk cost. We’ve held on for this long and to let go now means more than it would have earlier. However, we can’t go back to when we should have truly let go. It’s a downward spiral. So now what?!?!

Most likely, the answer is let go. The things that are meant for us and are truly important usually have a hold on us as much as we are holding onto them. Like an embrace or interlaced hands, there usually isn’t a struggle because holder and the held are both invested. The white knuckle situation is a struggle and it’s evident. Often this expression is used with vehicles that cause passengers to hold on too tight out of fear. That’s usually what causes the extremes of the human experience, fear. Fear of the unknown. That thing that we’re holding onto may not be good but it’s known. Therefore it is better than the fearful alternative. Or is it?

We can only do what we can do in this life. With all of the advances that humans have made in recent centuries, we may want to believe that we can control everything. We can’t! Especially when dealing with other humans. So hold onto those things that are important, for sure. But perhaps it’s time to release the things that are causing the white knuckles. Believe in the possibility of better things coming your way. This world is filled with almost infinite possibilities. It’s very unlikely that this thing is the end all and be all of human existence. Once freed, your open hand may just find another that’s reaching out.

“Get in or get out, and stop waiting around!” – Racquet Club

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Better Tomorrow

Pete Huryk

Amazon and lots of things like it have completely messed us up! We can get that thing that we want and often it will show up tomorrow! That’s amazing but not pervasive. For thousands of years and for many specific portions of life, that’s not how the system works. Yet we’ve become accustomed to it at a level that may not serve us. Each of us has problems, challenges, issues or conflicts and for the vast majority of them, they’re not going to be “Better Tomorrow”. The solution or resolution is probably not coming via overnight shipping. It will take longer.

Despite the fact that this may be frustrating to the impatient, it’s not a reason to lose heart. Our perfect solution is probably not on its way but that shouldn’t be the focus. The incremental improvements that built most of our society still suffice if we don’t discount them. Most upsets are caused by a mismatch of expectations. So when the real world doesn’t meet the speed of the internet, it can be frustrating to those who expect it all now. The focus needs to be put on making tomorrow better rather than making everything better tomorrow.

Yes! It’s a small semantic shift but a powerful one if used properly. People want it all right now but in the time that they spend complaining and lamenting; they could be progressing and refining. The struggles of life are real! No doubt about it! However, the tried and true method of breaking problems down into smaller chunks is real as well. That incremental progress of making tomorrow better is powerful when it becomes a habit. Choosing it is far more practical than lamenting the lack of instantaneous perfection.

So make tomorrow better! And do it again! And again! Then eventually that problem that stifled you will be better tomorrow but the process is what got you there, not the perfection!

See you tomorrow!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

An American Soccer Manifesto (Part 2)

Pete Huryk

In Part 1 of the Manifesto an argument was made for the proliferation of soccer in a historical context.  The processes of traditional American sports were well suited to the industrial age while soccer seems to be more in line with the present state of business and society.  So I am making my argument for soccer to be the national sport of the USA.  In this second part, the physical aspects of the argument will be explored.

While we are dealing with a virus that has risen to the level of a pandemic, the health and wellness of the USA has been on a downward trajectory for a while.  The number of people who are considered obese or morbidly obese is staggering.  Partially this is due to our diet but also a sedentary lifestyle that dominates our adult lives.  From the sports side of the equation, the traditional American sports of football and baseball are geared toward the short term acquisition of “bulk” with long term consequences.  Linemen make up almost half of the players on a football field at any given time.  Their weight is often an asset.  While baseball is less prone toward mass without reason, the sport is not based on heavy caloric burns.  It is a pass time.  Large portions of the sport mirror the sedentary lifestyle that will be coming later in life.  Both of these sports are usually left behind after high school.  Or a watered down version is implemented with lots of post game brews for good measure.  

Soccer on the other hand requires a more diversified athletic ability that lends itself toward generalized and possible lifelong fitness.  It promotes cardio-vascular fitness, flexibility, strength and heart rate variability.  In addition to these positive attributes, soccer can be played until the later stages of life.  The game may be a bit slower but it remains largely the same.  Like any sport or activity, it is not a panacea.  Injuries happen and overuse can be an issue.  Generally speaking though, the positives tend to outweigh the negatives.

So much like the argument in my initial post, soccer needs to be embraced.  I know that it is already on a variety of levels.  However, it has not become a truly “American” sport just yet.  Perhaps it will take another decade but the argument is there.  America needs soccer much more than it realizes!

I believe!

Pete  

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Best of Both Worlds

Pete Huryk

Peter Diamandis, author and CEO of multiple companies has developed a set of rules that fly in the face of “Murphy’s Law” that he calls “Peter’s Laws”. One of my favorites is “when given an option, take both.” It’s contrary to our relatively limited thinking but that is exactly the point. Our minds have been trained in a multitude of ways. From what we expect our lives to look like on a daily basis to the things that are possible. Possibility is something that we struggle with as humans. We know what we know and don’t what we don’t. Therefore we hedge our bets. Take one of the options and run with it because it’s all we can expect.

What if our training was all wrong? What if Van Halen were right to want the “best of both worlds”? It’s worth at least the consideration of a moment. In a world where you can talk to someone on the other side of the planet in an instant is it so ridiculous to consider that you could have more. Whatever that is for you. I recognize the need for gratitude and humility. They have their place and need to be employed to balance desire. However, a single celled organism that waits for food to run into it will surely die. It needs to reach out into the world to find what it’s looking for. And maybe that’s the point. The best of both worlds may not be going for everything but rather being thankful for what you have while going for what you want. Perhaps that’s the heaven here on earth that Mr. Hagar was talking about.

So be thankful. You have things in your life that you should be grateful for and hang onto. At the same time, your life is not limited to the known. This world has so much to offer and a lot of it is within your reach. “Something reached out and touched me!” Now it’s your turn to reach out!

Take both!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Realizing Your Potential

Pete Huryk

It’s an interesting turn of phrase when you think about it. When you “realize” something, it was always there but you were possibly ignorant to it. Often it takes experience, reflection or the influence of others to “realize” something. The same is true with potential.

Most of us are ignorant to what we are capable of doing. Our potential in any given area is an amorphous concept that we probably give little thought. We are who we are and will improve a bit here and there. Overall it’s a very linear type of idea. While that is the general way that things work, we all have the possibility to leap into the void. Give an endeavor everything that we have regardless of past success or failure. The reason that we usually don’t go for these types of leaps is that it comes with an inverse “realizing a lack of potential”. Crashing to the ground in a heap with dashed hopes landing on top of you is not easy. So why risk it?

We are all have great potential for a variety of things. That’s not in question. The only question is whether or not we’re willing to risk the foray into our ignorance of ourselves. Can we truly bet heavily on the person that we know best in this world or hedge those bets for the safe incremental wins? It’s a tough decision to make but it’s one that only we can. Because no matter how much another person make see our potential, it’s not until we realize that they’re right that change can actually happen.

Double down on you today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

You Are World Class

Pete Huryk

At one point, Larry Bird was a world class basketball players. Despite his age and present club situation, Ronaldo is still a world class soccer player. Tom Bilyeu is a world class speaker. And all of them are world class in at least one other area. The other one came for free and everyone gets it.

The one thing that you, I and everyone else is world class at is being themselves. It’s the free pass that we all get! It’s guaranteed! As soon as you come out of the womb, no one is going to be as good at being you, as you are. Even when you mess it up, you’re still getting it right better than anyone. It’s something to hang your hat on for sure but it’s not everything. Things that come cheaply are not usually held in high esteem. So the idea behind this revelation is not to rest on your laurels. Do not be satisfied with that foundation. Expand upon it! Being you isn’t hard and being someone else is impossible. Take the tools that you have and run with them. Be the best you on your own terms and some that are valuable to your interaction with the world.

Many people want to run to the crowded spaces in order to gain their world class status. The problem is that math is against them. You’re world class at being you because there is exactly one of you. If you want to be the best basketball player in the world, there is plenty of competition. Being the best kazoo player is less crowded but do you care enough about the kazoo to do it? The first step is to fall head over heals in love with the idea of being you. After that, take it wherever you can. The road to world class in anything but you is difficult and crowded. So don’t get discouraged if you never get there. The journey is worth just as much as the destination or possibly more. More than likely the destination is fleeting. So pursue something and do your best to enjoy all of the spoils that come from being a world class you!

You’re the best!

Pete

Blogpost

Isaac Newton Was Right About Apples, Not Humans

Pete Huryk

Newton’s laws changed the way that people look at the world. It became more predictable and less reliant upon superstition and deities to explain why things happened. Despite his brilliance, Newton’s laws do not explain everything. In his third law, Newton describes that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. While this may hold true for the natural world in many instances, people have the ability to buck this trend.

Humans are just that, HUMAN! We have our foibles and shortcomings. It would be easy enough to use Newton’s law as a justification for a lot of bad behavior. Any negative situation could be met with retaliation. It’s happened more than enough throughout history to believe that it is the way of things. However, one of the things that makes us human as well is CHOICE! There is always a moment between the action and reaction where a self-aware human can choose. It’s not always easy! The more primitive and instinctual part of our brain can short-circuit rational thought. Despite this fact, the choice is there. Reactions do not need to be equal nor opposite. They can be completely disconnected from the initial action. That is how we got here! Not everyone who lost an eye took an eye and so on. All those who have been hurt have felt the need to hurt.

So as you go through your day, CHOOSE! I’m not saying that there aren’t times to react negatively, there are. However, it should be a choice rather than a mindless reaction. Our time on this planet is short. Our choices make us who we are.

Choose wisely!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Crowd Surfing

Pete Huryk

A few weeks back, I went to a rock festival. It was a great experience! A few bands that I knew and like. Quite a few more that I’d never heard of but really enjoyed getting to know them. The crowd was extremely energetic despite the rainy weather. Mosh pits and crowd surfing were happening continuously through most of the acts. Although moshing can be “aggressive” and lead to injury. There’s usually not much malice behind it. Equally so, crowd surfing is not meant to be dangerous. People riding on top of the crowd is supposed to be fun but it is truly putting your safety into the hands of strangers. There are no guarantees that they won’t drop you, intentionally or otherwise. Yet this seems to be the way that many people are traveling through the world nowadays.

Of course, I’m not speaking 100% literally. The point behind the comment is the way that we exist digitally. Many people are putting their very real self-esteem and self-image into the hands of “virtual” strangers. Most of the time, they are actual strangers. The virtual is there for emphasis on the not completely real world that we exist online. These people almost never truly touch us but they impact many people through their likes, comments and shares. As social beings, we thrive on the acceptance of the tribe and want to be recognized. The problem comes from the disconnection. Despite being connected in some sense of the word, a large portion of the people who are “holding” us up will never know us in the traditional sense of the word. At least the people at the concert feel the weight and see the aftermath of someone who is dropped. The people online are much less invested. Anything or nothing can change the connection there.

So beware of crowd surfing in the virtual world. The likes, shares and comments should not be the things that keep you floating through the day. At best they should be icing to a cake that is already filled with the flavor of things of substance. There’s plenty to be gained from the interconnectivity that we have today. Unfortunately, a true sense of self is probably not going to be found there without some dangers attached. Let the people who truly know you carry you through the day, especially the one that you spend every second with (hint: it’s YOU!).

Keep rockin!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Couch of Your Relationships

Pete Huryk

If you’ve ever moved, there are several items that require help. Since I graduated high school, I’ve lived in 17 different residences. Some moves were light and others were heavy but very few were done alone. The help is either hired or friends who were enlisted. Couches are not the most difficult to move but they’re a crucial piece of furniture for comfort. Just like so many items, it’s difficult to carry alone. This exactly like any relationship.

Obviously we want for our relationships to be comfortable like a good couch. However in order to move them forward, it takes both people to do the lifting. If one person is basking in the comfort of where things are, then it’s extremely difficult for the other person to take it anywhere new.

Couches are also awkward to move at times. The people carrying them are doing it from opposite perspectives and rarely is there enough space for both people to be walking forward at once. It is often a tradeoff of one person slowly moving backwards while the other walks normally. Stairs, tight corners, obstacles, etc. may require pivoting and heroic effort to make it through those tight spaces in order to get back to enjoying the comfort again.

Unlike couches, there is very little uniformity to relationships. They come in such a huge variety that any list would be woefully incomplete. In addition to that, they are an extension of ourselves. At some point, all couches get left behind and the same could be said for relationships. The couch is not usually changed by the carrier but the same is not true of relationships. Each person has the potential to be changed by the carrying that they do. Hopefully those changes lead to a more comfortable place for both people and stronger individuals.

So as you go into the coming week, take stock of whether you’re carrying your weight or just lounging. We are social animals and our relationships with other humans have gotten us to the place where we are as a species. On an individual level, your relationships have the ability to make your life better. It just takes a bit of agreement on when you’re lounging and when you’re lifting. Almost no one wants to move a couch on their own!

PIVOT!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Watching the Movie, Living the Movie

Pete Huryk

I don’t remember how I got introduced to the Rocky series of movies when I was a kid. However I recall very plainly being a fifth grader who was running a mile or more each day as part of some “training montage”. No one had told me to do it. There was no coach, parent or other person telling me to get up early and put in this work. I’d simply taken something that I saw on the screen and put it into practice in my own life. That formula continued as I grew with movies like the Matrix. I took things from the theater and applied them.

This is not a unique situation. Actually it’s the way that everyone lives their life. The only difference is the input source. Every child takes in what they see on the “screen” whether that is a literal screen or just the movie that is playing out in front of them called life. They watch parents, sisters, brothers, friends, neighbors, strangers and all manner of other people acting in certain way and mimic some of what they see. It’s how we learn and sometimes it’s how we grow as people. The very public theater of life is filled with a chaotic mess of people acting in such a variety of ways that sometimes the right people to mimic are hard to identify. The big screen of movies and TV often makes things simpler because characters are idealized versions of humans that can be identified as good or evil. While these are both places to get inspiration, the most powerful theater is the private one. The one inside of your own head that no one else can access. Before you can do anything in the outer world, you must first see it on the private screen. Frequently the movies that are played on the private screen are re-runs of past patterns or expectations based on what we’ve always known. That is why people tend not to improve their station in life. They have a set of films that they see inside of their head and introducing a better moving picture of themselves is difficult.

It’s difficult because there is a good possibility that the private movies don’t always make it to the public theater of life. Getting them from the private screen to the reality screen takes work, dedication, patience, etc. and those are tough ingredients to put in when the outcome is uncertain. Spending a few minutes or more, envisioning the outcome that you want each and every day may feel like a fool’s errand. Visualization is something that we tend to do but usually it is reruns of past events. The projection of a future that is disconnected from our present and our past can feel unsettling, like leaping off some sort of cliff. However in order to move forward, we must separate ourselves from the ground and propel ourselves forward. Therein lies the difficulty. Creating a picture of one’s self that is different from the present version can be a challenge but that vision of separation allows the new character of you to emerge.

The world is not going to offer you a starring role, even in your own life. You need to imagine it on the small private screen first before pitching it to everyone else. Fortunately the movies give us the perfect word for bringing your new vision for yourself out into the open. So come up with your vision, see it as clearly as you can. Whether the cameras are rolling or not!

ACTION!

Pete