Tag: inspiration

Blogpost, self-reliance

Potential Is My Currency… Kind Of

Pete Huryk

Through the years on this blog, I’ve talked about the different currencies that we use in life. There are so many but love, time, actual money are some that I’ve discussed here before. Sometimes we exchange them for like, other times we seek another in exchange. Regardless, we’re all wheeling and dealing throughout the day. As an optimist, one of the currencies that I deal with is POTENTIAL. I see it all around! From that dilapidated house that could be refurbished to the D student with a winning personality that’s just waiting to come out; I notice it all around.

The problem with potential is that it’s not truly a currency. At some point reality sets in the potential is either met or it isn’t. It’s almost impossible to know which potentials will become reality and which will come up short. Many are going to be disappointments and that makes it easy to become discouraged. It’s easy to do the analysis, know the low rate of return and hedge your bets. That’s the safe play and I get it! It doesn’t really excite though.

We live in a world that is becoming more analytical and skeptical. So potential is not something people have time for. They want results! Or else! Leaving yourself open to the possibilities that come with potential, also leaves you open to possible ridicule. Believing in the long shots and slim odds is what fools do. And I’m willing to take that moniker. Being branded a fool for believing is far better than never being wrong but feeling empty because there wasn’t any emotion behind it.

Smells like potential!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Do You Want to Play?

Pete Huryk

Recently I had a conversation with a player. My compliment to him that he really looked like he wanted to play in our recent sessions. The recognition and statement were actually a culmination of work that he’d done over the past few months. Regardless it was obvious that he WANTS to play!

This statement may seem almost ridiculous. Everyone wants to play! That may be true that they would rather be on the field than on the bench. However many people are not willing to do the work to get there. They hope that whatever effort they put in will be good enough and get frustrated when it’s not. They act as if playing time were a divine right (lower levels, I get it). At the more competitive levels, practice is the player’s job and playing time is their bonus. Some people want the bonus and others don’t.

Everything that we want in life comes with some form of price. Perhaps it’s just time and attention. It’s not enough to want to something! The price for that thing needs to be paid. Bringing enough desire to the table is crucial to getting past the price. Everyone wants something. What do you want and are you willing to do what it takes to get it?

Put me in coach!

Pete

Salisbury 1994
Blogpost, self-reliance

A, AN, THE and getting what you want!

Pete Huryk

In our hyperactive world, the articles that we put in front of nouns may not seem to matter much. We’re concerned with the BIG things! So the difference between a one letter and three letter words doesn’t amount to much. That might be accurate in the majority of cases. However there are definitely times that A little thing can make all THE difference!

There are definitely times in our lives where we need a pen, an eraser, a word of encouragement or a little help. These indefinite articles that proceed the words tell the tale of intention. They are “indefinite”! There’s no thought put behind them. Any pen will do! The encouragement doesn’t need to be life changing! Just encouraging. Whatever it is, it’s good enough to do the job.

Definite articles on the other hand require more scrutiny and intent. Not just any pen will do! I want THE pen. There is a difference between the one that I want and all of the other pens in the world. Perhaps it’s the color, style, grip, cost, proximity or any other number of criteria. Regardless, there’s a separating factor or factors that make THE important!

Your job in this moment of so many choices is discerning when THE matters. I’ll admit it! In most situations, A/An is completely fine. The difference is not life altering. However there are times when settling for A/An is going to be something that you regret. A life partner, a job, a college, and so many other big A/AN’s are signing up for a world of hurt and disappointment. For sure, it’s possible to stumble into THE thing that you’ve always wanted when looking for just anything. However it’s probably good to have an idea of what you’re looking for! So that you know when you’ve found it!

Aim for the target, not a target!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend

Pete Huryk

If you’ve never experienced it, the comedy special by Mike Birbiglia “My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend” is on Netflix. It’s one of my favorite things to watch when I’m bored and want something on in the background. It recounts several instances within Mike’s romantic past and weaves them together in an artful way. It’s idiotic and sentimental and truthful and funny! Just like relationships themselves.

I’ve never been confronted directly with my girlfriend’s boyfriend like Mike but anyone who has ever been in a relationship (romantic or otherwise) knows that they run the gambit. Almost nothing is a surprise anymore and no one is ever 100% right. Instead we have craziness that cannot be predicted, even with people that we’d consider rational. So what do we do in the face of that uncertainty? Be certain about who we’re going to be.

The seas can be rough and toss us about but the compass still points north. It’s our choice whether or not we adjust our sails to head in the direction we set originally or let the winds dictate. We’re never helpless! Sometimes we’re overwhelmed, unsure, anxious and doubtful but never helpless. If confronted with your girlfriend’s boyfriend, there’s many ways to shed that problem. It doesn’t require that you “abandon the ship” of you. It’s a change of course, nothing more!

“So I’m scrambling…”

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

November You

Pete Huryk

In a few months a version of you will exist, November You! Although that person only exists in the future for the moment, several of their characteristics and backstory are based completely on what you’re doing right now. The accumulation of habits and daily actions will contribute largely to who that person is. They are not set in stone. So much of who they will be is a variable based on the present you.

So recognize that all you get is this moment. If you string enough good moments together that keep that future in mind, your November self will probably be thankful. If you indulge too much in the moment and put off worrying about your November self until November, there will most likely be a disappointed you that shows up.

We are variables! Not constants!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Guilty Pleasure Songs

Pete Huryk

I really like my musical taste! A variety of obscure bands that few people have heard of, mixed with some classic powerhouses. Overall it’s strange enough to avoid being ordinary but at the same time, accessible enough be understood by most people. Every once in a while, a song comes along that’s a “guilty pleasure”. Something that I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I like. One of the more recent examples is “Butter” by the K-Pop band BTS. It’s catchy and popular and I hate that I like it but I do.

We can feel guilty about things that we like for a variety of reasons. There’s no hard and fast rule about what makes something a guilty pleasure. However, the idea is pretty standard. We like something but feel badly about it for some reason. Shouldn’t pleasure just be pleasure? Why do we need to feel bad? In my case for sure, It comes down to other people. It’s the perception of you that is diminished based on what you’ve done. Being raised catholic, guilt comes with the territory. However, it’s worth considering an alternative. What if you just owned it? What if you accepted that you like what you like and other people be damned? How could your life be different?

In the most basic sense it would be freeing! Usually it is not actual judgment that causes this situation. It is perceived! We believe that other’s will judge us and therefore we judge ourselves which is the easiest game in town. All of the best stuff in life lives on the other side of fear! Therefore we have the opportunity of building a habit of breaking through our fear of judgement by admitting to ourselves and others, who we actually are.

I’ve got the superstar glow!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The High Cost of Cheap Feelings

Pete Huryk

The problem with most of the knowledge that people need is that it’s so simple, it’s easy to discount. Although there is a definite effort to confuse arguments from a variety of forces, the answers are all pretty simple. Health is dependent upon diet and exercise. In the moment, the choice between the apple and the candy bar isn’t difficult on an informational level. It’s difficult on an emotional level. The candy bar promises feelings that the apple doesn’t. For each individual the draw could be for different reasons and varied intensities. Regardless, the candy bar exists in this world because it is a ticket to “cheap feelings”. A momentary hit of a pleasurable chemical inside of the brain. Unfortunately, these cheap feelings tend to come with a high cost.

The allure of cheap feelings is that they come RIGHT NOW! They feed into our desire for instant gratification. AND the high costs that come along with them are deferred payments. The hangover from the alcohol doesn’t come until tomorrow. Extra weight doesn’t show up for a few weeks or months. The realization that your dreams have passed you by through procrastination may not come for years. Regardless of the particular cheap feelings that you indulge in, they all have a price to be paid later.

The beautiful thing about the human mind is that it can be trained. It is an obedient “animal” if its master is attentive. Since the decisions are not difficult on an informational level, we simply need to train the emotion out of the decision or more accurate attach new emotions to the right decision. We know what to do! We just need to do it consistently enough that our brain buys into the training. Every single dog in the world wants to chase after the squirrel! Some don’t because they’ve been trained not to. PLEASE don’t get offended by my comparing your mind to an obedient dog. That’s a cheap feeling too! It’s easier to get mad at me for the perceived slight than look in the mirror long enough to say “I can do better in __________ area.”

Training takes time, effort and attention. Give all three to a component of your life that you’ve been paying the high cost of cheap feelings. Eventually they’ll be replaced with feelings that are more pervasive and positive. Rather than the momentary rush of excitement with the candy bar, you get the overarching feeling of well-being, health or pride. These types of feeling require daily payments for long durations but eventually they spit out dividends that far exceed the amount put in.

Tell the cheap feelings that you’re not for sale!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Who Is Carrying You?

Pete Huryk

This is one of my favorite photos from the past. There are so many reasons why but I’m going to point out one of the less obvious. My daughter is in the backpack and it may look like I’m carrying her but she is actually carrying me. The stories of mothers lifting cars to save their children are completely accurate. That is not what is happening in this photo. My young daughter is not pumping adrenaline to stave off disaster. She is very figuratively carrying me through a difficult time. Much like the mothers lifting the cars, I had more ability than I thought possible around that time. Working three jobs, entertaining two young children and anything else that was thrown in my direction at the moment. It might have seemed like a lot if it were not for her carrying me.

We all go through times where our strength is not enough. We need a bit more and it often comes from our reason for doing anything. The people that we have in our lives carry us through those times. Often they do it without knowing. My daughter could not walk nor talk at the time but she was the strength that I needed.

So who is carrying you? Perhaps, you’re self-sufficient! That’s completely fine. For some reason, it comforts me to think back to the days when knights would dedicate their feats in battle to a maiden far away. The reasons behind the things that we do matter. It helps even more when the people who matter are the reason that we do things. It carries us through when we might not have had enough strength to “go it alone”!

Climb on!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Excitement of the “Same Path”

Pete Huryk

Over the weekend, I got the opportunity to go see Top Gun: Maverick. There are no true spoilers below other than the path is similar. That shouldn’t be a huge surprise to anyone who has seen a movie, read a book or heard an epic story. We’ve been telling the same story for centuries but just changed the names of the characters. Joseph Campbell’s works on the subject are the blueprint. We seem to love going down the “same path” with familiar friends.

The “Hero’s Journey” is one that we identify with worldwide because we’d like to put ourselves into the story. We exist from one perspective and we cannot escape that. However, hearing or seeing tales of idealized figures for us to emulate in some basic way allows us to become a bigger version of ourselves. We can see the possibility in the space between where we are and where we’d like to be. The hero’s journey is enticing because it is both predictable and exciting at once. We know that in the end everything is going to work out fine. However, the path is fraught with danger and losing people along the way is possible. It’s not a clear path, just a recognizable one.

So tomorrow, you’ll be called to action in some way. That’s how the hero’s journey always begins. Perhaps it is something small but we all get to choose whether we’ll answer the calls that come our way. We’re probably not saving the world or even a cat but we are still the protagonist in the only story that matters: our story. So no matter how identifiable your path is, find a way to get excited about the possibility that lies within it. Only you get to make that choice. We’ve been telling the same stories for generations. Now it’s your turn to write yours with your actions!

Turn and burn!

Pete

Uncategorized

The High Ceiling and Perception

Pete Huryk

While visiting my brothers in Maryland, I did my swimming at totally different YMCA. The ceiling was so much higher than my normal location. It made the pool seem like it was shorter in distance. As if it were less than the standard 25 meters that I was used to. My times were also a bit faster which added to the confusion. In the end, I confirmed that it was my perception and not the pool that was different. The ceiling was just higher!

It’s an odd thing! Our perception can be thrown by so many things. We’d like to believe that the variables are outside of us. Unfortunately we are a variable! Our senses are nowhere near as accurate as we’d like to believe! However there is something to be learned from my swimming experience. A higher ceiling makes the distance that needs to be traveled seen shorter. It doesn’t decrease it. It only makes it seem shorter. So perhaps the lesson is that we should have higher ceilings for ourselves in order to make the work seem shorter by comparison. When our goals are close by, the component pieces to get there feel big. Grander goals actually gives us the space to feel less oppressed.

Shoot for the stars! Why the hell not? The inspiration and perspective that comes along with it will be well worth it! The practicality of most of our dreams deadens our sense of adventure and excitement. We thrive on the idea that we’re doing something BIG! Practicality isn’t our friend. It’s a low ceiling that makes everything seem close and oppressive.

Raise the roof!

Pete