This will largely be a stream of consciousness as I am cold and have no time to self edit. Why do I do this? Largely for the health benefits and my knee which swells from time to time after years of soccer and running.
Normally I watch a video of David Goggins talking or something like that. It keeps me distracted from the cold. I decided to go in the opposite direction today and focus on the thoughts running through my head and put them out there into the world. So here it is! I’m cold but calm. I feel myself shivering but then breath and it goes away. My body can handle the cold. I know this because I’ve done this before. We are amazing creatures, humans, we can endure so much but often give into our own weakness because of its convenience or our disbelief.
This year has been hard. It might be the hardest of my life. Given into my own weakness? Yep, at times. Disbelieved my own resilience? Yep, at times. I’ve doubted a lot but I’m still here. Doing what I can to make the best of the now that I have. Trying to be a good example for my children and others. I shiver and shake for sure. Sometimes I cry! Mostly I look for the ways that this is a good thing. I don’t always see them. Overwhelm is part of it! But I breathe! Try not to let moments of weakness stretch out into minutes or hours, it doesn’t serve!
I care and I want to help. I’ve seen through my dating experience how easily things can get misconstrued. We tend to forget other people when emotions are high or we’re worried about being judged. Be resilient! Like all moments, this one will pass and you’ll be faced with the next thing. Time is up! This was fun? I don’t know but I enjoyed it.