I was raised in the Catholic faith but have some major misgivings about the history and present of the religion. Regardless of those feelings there are certain things that stick out from my childhood experiences of religion. One phrase that always stuck out for some reason was part of the act of contrition. When repenting for sins, the prayer asked for forgiveness “for what I have done and what I have left undone.” The second part is what always hit me. That I was not only responsible for seeking forgiveness for the actions that I had committed but also the ones that I had omitted as well.
Several years ago, I had a student in one of my classes. He was one of those kids that was smart but did not care about the class enough to put forth much effort. Since he was a senior, his only goal was to graduate. So that he could get into the army and get away from the problems at home. On a particular day, he and I got into a conversation about his lack of effort. He said “Mr. Huryk, I’m not worried about this class. I’m worried about what I’m going to eat today.” After class I asked him to hang around for a minute. I took out the container that held my lunch and handed it to him. He refused but thanked me for the gesture. After that day, I paid a lot more attention to his mood and weight. It became pretty obvious that he wasn’t lying. He had gotten skinnier. So I packed up a brown paper bag with a loaf of bread, peanut butter, jelly, Clif Bars and other low maintenance foods and put his name on it. I had the secretary in the office call him down right before the end of the day and tell him that someone dropped it off for him.
No one knew who had sent the food but there was no secret that problems ran deeper than just hunger. I talked to my wife about it and she knows how much I try to help people who need it. She said if the situation was that dire, I could offer to give him a place to stay temporarily. I just didn’t know him well enough to take that step. Besides the year was almost over. He was going to pass my class and be able to graduate in order to get into the army and move on. On the last day of class, he asked me if I had been the one who had given him the food. I admitted that it was. He thanked me and said he appreciated it. At that point, I thought I had done my part and I would never see him again. I was right on half of that equation.
Upon returning to school in the late summer, the secretary who had helped with my covert food operation informed me that he had passed away over the summer. The combination of his poor circumstances and some poor judgment sent him to a far too early grave. All he wanted to do was escape the situation that he was in but it just didn’t happen fast enough.
I know that I shouldn’t tear up every time that I think about this. In reality it was not my responsibility to make sure that this kid got off to the army safely. I was almost inconsequential in his life. The issue is that I know the outcome now and can see all of the things that I left “undone”.
We cannot do everything. We cannot save everyone. Regardless of how hard we try. Bad things are still going to happen to good people who deserve better. The reason why I relive this story in my mind often is because even though we can’t save everyone, I want to live in a world where we try to or at least want to. Hate, malice and indifference are easy because they take nothing from the person who puts them out into the world. Kindness, generosity, caring and love require that you give something of yourself and may not get it back. That is a bargain that many people are just too afraid to make. However the easy road ends with us all being alone and separated because the caring muscle atrophies when you use it infrequently. So although it is a painful memory, I will continue to dwell upon what I left undone because I don’t want to believe that it’s not my responsibility to care for my fellow man.
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are!
Pete
Today my son’s game had an extremely good referee group. The center referee and his two linesmen called the game very well. Despite the fact that they did a great job and got the majority of the calls right (even the ones that went against my son’s team), there were still complaints from parents. Which made me wonder if people really have any idea what makes for a good referee or if they just want calls to go in their team’s favor? Here are some thoughts to consider.
I am your new coach. That’s a role that I take very seriously. It’s a mixture of teacher, mentor, psychologist, personal trainer, confidant and many other jobs that coalesce into a position of great possible influence. The word possible is in there because people are put into roles like this every day but just because someone leads does not mean that anyone will follow. A position of power does not make someone a leader. Leaders must be willing to go first. My hope is that I am able to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am.
You are the ancestor of survivors! Cavemen and women who braved the bitter cold, extreme heat and dangerous predators just to continue the species. Their successors improved hunting and developed farming in order to make survival more probable. Eventually they were succeeded by people who developed technological advances that gave us every advantage and the ability to bend many of the laws of nature to our will. This is your lineage!
Our next stop was Paris. There was of course the visit to the US Embassy in Paris to get a new passport which took longer than we would have liked. After getting it we had to rush to pick up our tickets to the five games that we were going to attend. Our first match was Germany vs USA. Despite both being American we were following Germany through the group stage. The most memorable thing from following Germany for me was the warm-up. Watching Jurgen Klinsmann get crossed balls for him to side volley from head height was amazing. He was obviously a world class player honing his craft and I loved seeing it up close. In addition to that match, we saw the Louvre in less than 2 hours. Art lovers we are not! Next was Germany vs Yugoslavia which was in Lens, a much smaller venue and not much around.
This is your one and only opportunity at TODAY! Yes tomorrow is right around the corner but there is no guarantee that the same situations, circumstances or people will be available. Whether you are truly in a once in a lifetime situation or simply building the inertia that will be necessary to get you over the mountain that your climbing; TODAY CANNOT BE DISCOUNTED! So give it the attention and forethought that an opportunity like this deserves. If you treat today like every other day, then that is exactly what it will be. However if you treat it like the unique opportunity that it is, you’re more likely squeeze all of the juice out of it. So ask yourself the following questions:
In my junior year of college, I traveled to Ecuador as part of a winter semester program. I lived with a local family and took a class on literature. It was a life altering experience on a variety of levels. Although I went there to improve my Spanish abilities, I can link many of my fundamental beliefs back to that trip. I changed as a person during my time there. One of the simple ways that I changed was that I became the “King of Introductions”. There was no official coronation! It’s an unofficial title that I developed for myself but it was a key component to many later successes.
In about a month and a half, I’ll be moving to Virginia. It’s an exciting time! Filled with all kinds of possibilities. While we’re looking forward to that future, we must first deal with the daunting task of moving all (or most or some) of our stuff. The process of packing is a necessary evil where you must decide what is going with you and what things just need to go! Some people have trouble letting go of the things that they’ve accumulated over the years. For better or worse, we get attached to things from the past and have trouble letting go.
In the modern world, there is a certain leaning toward being self-centered. The pervasiveness of selfies in the social media world sends the message, “Look at me, I’m special.” While I truly feel it is important for people to believe in themselves, things that go too far to one extreme tend to become their opposite. Too much of a lifesaving drug becomes poison. Too much focus on weight loss becomes anorexia. Too much focus on the self becomes narcissism. The key to balance is a counterweight. Brian McBride seemed to have that balance figured out perfectly.
Huryk Unlimited 