My overall purpose in this world is to help people get the best out of themselves. Whether I do that work in the classroom, soccer field or elsewhere is irrelevant. Most of the time it is done through helping people see the possibility within themselves and breaking through the self-imposed limits that they have. Although my messages are usually positive in nature, I’m not against the idea of leveraging the dark space inside each of us. It is probably the reason that I’ve been a successful coach for many years.
It was my senior year in high school and there were no big expectations for our soccer team. There had been lots of talent in the prior year’s senior class and the season had no trophies or accolades. My senior class had only a couple players of impact. The junior and sophomore classes were full of talented but untested players. As the only senior captain, I believed it was my role to help get every last bit of effort out of our team. If we kept the idea that we were all in it together, we’d do OK. In all honesty, we shocked a lot of people, even me. We had an impressive record with only one loss and one tie as it was getting close to the playoff portion of the season. Our record was good enough to win the conference title. Against all odds in a penalty kick shootout we were able to beat a much bigger school for the county title. We were ranked highly by the papers in the area and the number one seed for our section in the state tournament. I’m not sure if it was one factor or a combination of things but we lost in the first round of the state tournament.
That was over twenty five years ago. Despite that fact, it is one of the reasons that I have so much to give to my athletes from the sidelines. Winning and losing are not actually my concern. The reason why that is such a hole inside of me is that we didn’t give it our all. I, as the leader, was possibly complacent and overly confident going into that game. Sure there were other things that impacted the outcome but I know inside that it was at least partially my fault. So I’ll have this hole inside of me forever because I can’t rewrite the past.
The only option that I have is to leverage that dark space into something positive. That cautionary tale that I lived through is a driving force on the mundane days where no one feels like giving their best. It is that pain that gives me the energy to work harder than others and leave it all out there. I don’t talk about it often or even replay it in my head. I don’t have to, it’s just there in the background.
We all have these experiences. There is nothing particularly special or unique about mine. The question becomes whether or not you can use it toward a future positive end. Even the greatest lose from time to time but it is what you do with that setback that matters. No moment is a definitive statement for the positive or negative on who you are as a person. We are what we’ve done consistently. With todays challenges you should absolutely give them everything you’ve got. But if you come up short, take the lesson from it and allow it to propel you forward. Sometime you win and sometimes you learn!
Have a great day!