Tag: motivation

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The Paper Collection

Pete Huryk

DiplomaIn college I was a Spanish major and there was a girl in several of my classes who was a Spanish minor.  She was very attractive but her Spanish skills were lacking.  One day she told me that she didn’t even like speaking Spanish that she was just taking the classes to get the minor.  This prompted my question, “why get the minor?”  “Because it will look good on my resume.”  At this point, I was flabbergasted.  “Isn’t the company that is impressed by that going to expect that you’ll be able to use the language?”  This thought had never occurred to her.

In this world of standardization, classification and certification, the papers that we are able to collect seem to hold too much weight.  The story of my Spanish-challenged classmate is not made up and unfortunately not uncommon.  Our diplomas and grades are collected in the hope that it will bring us to that promised land in the future.  The issue is that when we have all of the papers that someone says we need, will we be able to do anything?

Perhaps, paper is not the thing that we need to collect.  Maybe there are better commodities out there to be sought.  Rather than collecting paper, we should be collecting: thoughts, hearts, minds, influence, respect, trust, love, esteem, help, counsel, ideas, laughter, smiles, jokes, hugs, handshakes, pats on the back, kisses, and the list goes on and on.

I’d rather struggle to get in the door because I lack the paper rather than being pushed out the door because my paper was meaningless.

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Finish Him/Her/It!

Pete Huryk

For any of us who spent way too many quarters at an arcade, that phrase is easily identifiable. In “Mortal Kombat” that phrase meant that your enemy was basically beaten and all you needed to do was perform one last lethal blow to add an exclamation point to your victory.  I remember vividly spending countless hours mastering special moves or trying to complete a level on a range of video games.  As meaningless as the games might have been, we were finishers.

In the megapixel world of video games things are much easier and more defined.  There is a sequence to things.  Levels become incrementally harder.  Resources show up basically right before you need them.  The problem is that as fun as the game might be, life is the game that counts.

There are a hundred different directions to take this metaphor but I’m going straight for the throat.  FINISH IT!!!!  Whatever it is that you set in front of yourself.  Being a great starter means nothing if you’re not a finisher.  Anyone can tell you about the two pounds they lost, the two weeks that they lifted weights or the book they started five years ago.  It’s all worthless without the finish.  That moment when your goal is teetering on the edge of defeat and you deliver that lethal strike.

Finish it.  Be methodical, don’t cut corners but finish it.  Decide before you start that you’re going to finish.  If you’re not committed to the finish, then don’t commit to the start.  Finish it!

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You Won the Lottery! Don’t Waste It!

Pete Huryk

Are you saying to yourself, “I didn’t win the lottery.  If I did, I surely wouldn’t waste it.”  YOU DID WIN THE LOTTERY but we’ll deal with that in a moment.  It’s easy to look with contempt at the people who seemed to have it and then lost it.  Examples like MC Hammer, Mike Tyson and Kim Basinger are ones that pop into my mind.  They all had millions of dollars coming in yet they went bankrupt.  How could they let this happen?  There are all kinds of reasons: mismanagement, overindulgence, lack of a defined plan or stupidity.  It seems really simple.  If I were to win the lottery, I’d be able to keep it all together.  It would be easy.

So now to the point, you did win the lottery.  You won the “Birth Lottery”.  If you’re reading this, then you have access to the internet and probably live in the US, Canada or Europe.  You weren’t born into slavery.  Through your life, you’ve probably been loved, fed and educated pretty regularly.  Although you don’t have as much as some people near the top, you’re so far ahead of the people at the bottom that it’s a joke.  Starvation, malnutrition and imminent death are probably not on your worry list for today.  So since you won the birth lottery, what are you going to do with it?

Your perspective on your life will determine heavily what you will do with it.  You can choose to see your place in life as a burden or difficult.  Or you can realize that you already won the lottery and not waste it.

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Anchor Someday to Today

Pete Huryk

Someday is a great concept with an infinite amount of possibility.  “Someday I’ll get that new car.  Someday I’ll meet that special someone.  Someday we’ll get that bigger house.  Someday I’ll feel better about myself.”  The problem with someday is that it is like a ship floating off in the distance.  The only way to get someday to come is to lasso it, anchor it to the spot where you stand and pull it in.

Today is all that we ever truly have.  So if we want someday to eventually become today, we need to connect the two.  I don’t know what your someday dream is but it will probably require a lot of pulling.  Each and every day you need to do something to get you closer to that someday.  At times it will seem like you’re making no progress.  It may seem like it is impossible.  Then you’ll find out which is more important: wasting today or using it to turn it into someday.

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New Year + Resolution + Old You = Same Old Same Old

Pete Huryk

The act of making a New Year’s Resolution is a good concept.  Taking the opportunity to start fresh with a brand new set of goals is admirable.  The problem is that most people don’t follow through on their new resolutions.  There are many reasons why most resolutions fail.  Below are some of the normal pitfalls and suggestions on avoiding them.

  • Going It Alone – Change often takes willpower and some people are in short supply of it.  So one way to increase your chances of making a change is to partner up with someone.  The small group adds a bit of social pressure that feels less like will.  Or even better, join a new peer group where your desired outcome is the norm.
  • Biting Off More Than You Can Chew – People often set themselves up for failure by trying to make too many changes.  Start with bite-size chunks that are manageable.  Break it down into a daily basis where it doesn’t seem so overwhelming.  Also set up systems that help make things automatic.  Program a wake up call in your phone and put your shoes by your bed if you want to run every morning and reward yourself for little successes.
  • Bringing Old You to the New Year – If you would like to make a change in your life, don’t bother making the resolution.  There’s not enough power of emotion behind that.  You need to get to the point where you need to make a change because it is who you truly want to be in your soul.  Change is inconvenient, difficult and a Do It Yourself project.  Come up with all of the reasons why this must happen and you might have a chance.
  • Confusing Progress and Success – Often people walk the first five miles of a thousand mile journey and become satisfied with their progress because this is the farthest they’ve ever gone.  Define the endpoint  and keep it in mind.  Don’t be satisfied with anything less.
  • Making Setbacks into Failure – Everyone screws up, stumbles, forgets and blows things off.  Don’t beat yourself up.  If the goal is worth having, then it is worth going through some missteps.  Will you only be satisfied with having your goal if you never faltered once?  Then don’t even start, we all screw up.

As is always true, these posts are as much for me as they are for you.  Good luck in 2015!  Make it a great year on purpose.

 

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Webster’s and Facebook Identity Polls

Pete Huryk

What does the New Year bring you?  Which Greek god are you?  Which Star Wars villain are you?  What character from classic literature are you?  What state should you live in? These are all Polls that I’ve seen on Facebook at one time or another.  They can be an interesting diversion for five minutes but why do we see so many pop up on our news-feed?  They show up because they are popular and people take them regularly.  But why?

Identity is something that is extremely important to people.  We want to know who we are and be sure that others see us that way.  One of the most difficult periods of a person’s life is often called an “identity crisis”.  People realize that they are no longer what they once were.  This can result in major life upheaval.  Consistency in identity is extremely important to most of us.

One of the best examples that I have of this is my cousin Kerry.  He is a distance runner, exercise enthusiast and pretty strict about his diet.  Despite all of his healthful choices, he had used chewing tobacco since he was in college.  The chewing tobacco was a long standing habit, even longer than the running and exercising.  Kerry knew it was bad for him and had tried to quit it several times but the bad habit persisted until I made an random comment to him.  “If you’re the ‘fitness guy’, then why do you still dip?”  That question changed everything.  In order to keep in line with his identity, he had to quit tobacco and he did.  His identity was being questioned by someone else and therefore he had to decide who he really was.

The thing that scares me about the FB polls and online forums is that we seem to be looking for others to define us.  “Tell me who I am because I don’t know.”  As a teacher, I see this too often with my students.  Clothes, hair, opinions, and everything else seems to change with the whims of what is popular.  With the echo chamber of the internet, it exponentially increases the scenario of the blind leading the blind.  The way to know if you’re doing the right thing is if everyone else is doing the same or at least someone famous.  At least if you’re following the crowd, it’s someone else’s fault.  No it’s not, you DECIDED to follow.

Rather than following the crowd or having Facebook or even Webster’s Dictionary define you, do it yourself.  Go to a quiet space with a pen and a paper.  Write down who you are.  Or even better, write down who you want to be, in every area.  Physically, mentally, emotionally and etc.  Feel free to get input from trusted people but don’t ask random people walking down the street.  Even this paper will not be the end of it.  Your identity is work in progress just like your life.  Examine both and define them with your own terms.

 

 

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In Your Honor

Pete Huryk

I’m not sure of the exact date but I remember the day when I knew that I had that thing in me that a parent needs.  My wife and I were at my in-laws’ lake house.  I was on the phone inside the house when I heard a strange kind of screech then my wife called for me.  I dropped the phone and ran outside.  When I got to where she was, I saw what had caused the screech.  My dog, Kelme, pinned on his back by another dog in the bed of rocks that descended down into the lake.  I was on the deck that was about fifteen feet above where Kelme and his attacker were.  Without a thought, I hopped over the railing, dropped the fifteen feet and miraculously landed safely on the jagged rocks right next to the two dogs.  Luckily the other dog got completely spooked by my sudden appearance and bolted quickly.  So I did not have to engage in the vicious fight with a dog that I anticipated.  I scooped Kelme up and took him to the vet.

This morning I was reminded of this experience while on my run and listening to the Foo Fighters’ song “In Your Honor”.  The line “In Your Honor, I would die tonight!” is the one that hammers the point of that experience home.  I gave absolutely no thought to my own safety in that situation and justifiably so.  In my view, it is inherent to being a parent that you put the welfare of your children above your own.  After that experience, I knew that I had that inside of me.  I know with complete certainty that I would be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for my children, trading my life for theirs.  Today while listening to that song, I decided that there is another level to that equation.

The idea of the sacrificial trade holds but my hope is that we never get there.  So “In Their Honor”, I will not be dying but what if instead “In Their Honor” I lived?  If I am willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, why not make some of the smaller sacrifices and live life to the fullest?  Show them that my purpose is not particularly to give everything that I have in order that they might live.  My purpose should be to give my best attempt at this life in order that they might follow that example.  Perhaps the sum total of all of those little sacrifices will be a greater gift because they get to keep their father and he is someone to be proud of.

Luke and Emmy, In Your Honor, I will live tonight!

Blogpost, self-reliance

Stop Believing!

Pete Huryk

StopOur beliefs are extremely important tools that we use to form who we are and who we can be.  Although the title of this blog may seem negative, it is intended to have a positive outcome.  It is intended to add some inner dialogue that will help you to achieve a goal, create something, improve something, change a habit or any other endeavor that is difficult.

Stop believing that it will be easy!

Stop believing that anyone will do it for you!

Stop believing that it’s too big for you to pull off!

Stop believing that “You Suck” voice inside your head!

Stop believing that you need to wait for the time to be right!

Stop believing that you’re too tired!

Stop believing that people will laugh at you!

Stop believing that anyone is going to help you more than you help yourself!

Stop believing that there are too many obstacles!

Stop believing that your past failures matter enough to stop you from trying again!

Stop believing that there’s nothing you can do!

Start believing in you, in possibility, in the future!

Start today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, Uncategorized

The Fearometer

Pete Huryk

NormandyFear, one of our most basic emotional states, has served us through the millennia to keep us alive.  Few of us are in daily peril from the elements or predators anymore.  So our fear mechanism has little real cause for use.  So we sometimes indulge the fear mechanism in very benign circumstances.  Although emotions are not perfectly quantifiable, I would suggest that we take some time to truly assess our fears and their intensity.  Where would most of our fears of today rate on the Fearometer?

Fears are very personal.  However when I think through history and all of the possible situations that could cause a fear level of TEN, being a soldier on a boat about to storm the beach of Normandy is always at the top of the list.  Waiting for a door to open to almost certain death is something that I’m not sure that I could handle.  By comparison, my daily fears seem extremely small and petty.

So where do your fears rank?  Is talking to that special person and asking them out really a TEN?  Or is it a FIVE that you’ve turned into a TEN?  Since most of our fears are societal and not natural, inflation is something that is bound to happen.  We make things bigger and scarier in order to protect ourselves.  But from what?  A moment of discomfort?  The truth?  In the end you need to decide if your Fearometer is working well for you or is it paralyzing you?

Regret is momentary pain that you have chosen to make permanent.

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The Bannister Effect

Pete Huryk

BannisterOn May 6th in 1954, Roger Bannister broke the World Record for running the mile. He was the first man to run one mile in under four minutes. Many runners had attempted the run but all had failed until Bannister. Although he is remembered for “breaking” something, I contend that what he created was much more important: possibility.

The key to Bannister’s run is that he opened the door of possibility for other people to do the same*. He pushed the edge of what humans were capable of doing. All it takes is one person to show us that our limits are not what we thought they were. Lindberg, Edison, Robinson and countless others swept aside the past to show a brighter future with fewer limits. It seems to be the natural order of things that when the bar is raised, we rise to the occasion to meet it. From my own life, I know that my father was the first in his family to go to college. It is no longer a novelty. All of my brothers and I attended college. The Bannister Effect could be found in many people’s lives.

Is the difference between impossible and possible only a matter of time? How many people told Bannister he couldn’t before he did? How many people scoffed at Lindberg before he was cheered in Paris? How many people turned a blind eye to Edison before they saw the light?

The critics will always be there and their ridicule of your dream will be true, until it’s not. In the end if you give up, they’ll have their “I told you so” moment and everyone will move on. If you persevere and triumph, they’ll stand silent and everyone will move up. I would love to see you rise up rather than give up.

*Additional information: World Records for the mile date back to the 1850s.  The time slowly and incrementally decreased over the next ninety years when Gunder Hägg of Sweden ran a 4:01.4.  Then it took ten years before Bannister broke through the four-minute barrier.  Six weeks later, Bannister’s record was broken.  Today his time from 1954 is six seconds slower than the high school record for the mile.