Tag: motivation

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Next Layer of Skin

Pete Huryk

LifesaversStay with me on this one!  To a certain extent, I wish that each layer of my skin were a different color like a stack of Lifesavers in a rainbow progression.  Each layer would disappear over a set amount of time revealing the next color in the order.  Within a week or so, I would be red, orange, yellow, green, blue etc.  Beside the obvious reduction in racism, I think it would help get past a problem that I think many of us have.  We cannot see past ourselves.

We see ourselves as consistent beings and therefore we act and think consistently with that picture.  The truth is that we are always changing but those changes are so subtle that we do not perceive them.  So when we truly do need to change, we think that it will be difficult or that we are incapable of change.  At some point we need to recognize that we can be more than what we perceive that we are.

We need to be able to see the greatness that is on the horizon.  Our progress or lack of it is a decision.  Do we allow ourselves to see the person who is six layers of skin away?  Or do we accept the “Who I have been is who I will be.”  So the challenge is down to you.

Can you see the greatness inside of your own skin?  Are you willing to do the things necessary to dig for that person that hides underneath?  Or is your skin an imperceptible covering that gets washed down the drain of your shower along with your hopes and dreams?  If only we were multicolored and could say, “by the time I turn green I’m going to ______________!”  We are always shedding skin, so figure out what your ideal skin looks like and put it on underneath.

See the best you inside today.

Pete

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Scarred for Life

Pete Huryk

IMG_0739 (1)On the thumb of my left hand, I have a scar that looks something like a horseshoe.  It is the result of an accident when I was in sixth grade.  My family was putting an addition on our house.  We were not wealthy by any stretch, so we had to do much of the work ourselves.  My father and I were removing a window from the old part of the house.  I’m still not sure what happened but the glass shattered.  In a very lucky instantaneous reaction, I cover my face.  I felt myself get hit, turned and saw blood.

The one sidenote that I must make about this story is that my father had been known to pass out at the sight of blood.  So at that point, I stripped off my t-shirt and started screaming at my father to get away from me.  He thought I was mad at him but then I quickly explained that I was bleeding and I didn’t want him to pass out.  I ran to the front of the house and got my mother who took me to the hospital for 18 stitches.

I am quite literally scarred for life and I couldn’t be happier that I am.  It’s not the accident that I’m happy about.  Given the choice I never would want to have a window shatter on top of me.  However my reaction to the situation is why that memory creates such a positive feeling about that mark.  In a time of crisis, I was able to keep that problem from getting worse by having two people going to the hospital.  I was response-able.

In no way do I think that we should go out looking to accumulate scars.  However there should be no shame in having them either.  They are sign that you were not insulated from life.  Life has edges that can cut.  It’s very common in today’s world to avoid the edges and play it safe.  The problem is that you can’t dull every edge nor anticipate when you’ll get cut.  So what happens to someone who has spent a lifetime avoiding those edges and they mistakenly get cut?  That wound is catastrophic because they’re not ready to be hurt.

Failure, disappointment, upset, breakups, and breakdowns are all examples of the scars of life.  Don’t pursue them but don’t be afraid of them either.  Most of the time they are a reminder of who you have become by fighting through them.

Keep fighting through my friends.

Pete

 

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Tattoo Yourself

Pete Huryk

Burning boyI don’t have any tattoos anywhere on my body.  However I know exactly what I would get if I were to ever change my mind.  Since I was a teenager “the burning boy” is an image that I had set as my tattoo of choice.  It is from the album cover of one of my favorite bands, Bad Religion.  I would remove the “crossbuster” logo from the back of his shirt.

The reason that the burning boy resonates with me is that it represents a feeling that I always want to have.  It’s not the searing pain but rather the idea of being “on fire” with passion.  The things that I have been on fire about have changed throughout the years.  In high school it was soccer and girls.  In college it was soccer and travel.  In my adult life it has been soccer, my family and helping people.

So if I’ve known for years what tattoo I would get, why have I not gone through with it?  There are many people walking around with tattoos that did not put 20 years of thought into the “ink”.  There are two reasons that I have never gone to get this tattoo done.

The first is that I don’t want my wife to have to look at it.  I’m sure that I’ll get some comments about being whipped or something like that.  However I respect my wife very much and the ways that my decisions have an effect on her life.  I don’t have to look at myself very often.  She does, so I know it is something that would not improve me for her.

The second is even more important.  I’m already wearing it.  The reason I don’t need the ink on my skin is because it goes even deeper.  It penetrates into my bones and goes down into my heart.  Inside there is a burning boy that people see every day.  Perhaps people see a slightly different representation when they see me but the basic idea should be the same.  I want people to see the tattoo that I have put on myself.  Rather than paying an artist to put a skin deep impression on me to have people know who I am.  I need to show people through my actions and attitudes who I am.  I’ve tattooed myself as we all do.  Although the Chinese character that you’ve put on your arm may say “peace” or “serenity”, it’s not worth the price of the ink if that’s not the message you put into the world through your actions.

So tattoo yourself.  Put the ink of your daily actions out into the world for everyone to see.

Keep being you people!

Pete

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GPS Expectation

Pete Huryk

For well over a thousand years, the compass was a reliable tool used by travelers and captains to find their way.  In our technologically enhanced world, it is no longer enough to know what direction we are going.  Now the expectation is to be told the fastest route, when to turn, and an estimated time of arrival.  Given the choice I’m sure that Christopher Columbus would have opted for the GPS as well.

The problem is not with the GPS at all but rather the expectation that it creates.  There is an expectation that someone or something out there has the quickest route, will tell you when to turn and when you’ll arrive.  The user of the GPS is a slightly involved passenger who usually relinquishes decision-making power.  This would be no great concern if it were only relevant to driving directions.  However it is increasingly common in a variety of settings.

As you are traveling through your life, be aware of your reliance on GPS directions.  The ability to rely on your own compass is invaluable.  It makes you the driver of your life, rather than a passenger along for the ride.  Tools and technology are useful when mixed with a discerning human being.

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The Fist

Pete Huryk

IMG_0671At one point in my coaching career a group of my players referred to me as “the fist”.  The reason for this nickname was a team talk that I gave.  It highlights the fact that in combat ten separated fingers can do minimal damage.  However combine the fingers into a fist and you can do some real damage.  Today I want to expand upon that idea but generalize it to life rather than athletics.

As I think about the fist of life, I would equate it to an inner circle of people who play particular roles.  Each role is distinct and important toward the inner balance of a person.  The organization of an effective fist may take a good amount of time and introspection.  However the positives to be drawn from the fist are immeasurable.

The thumb – This is the person that is your counterbalance.  They are strong in ways that you are weak.  They may seem different and may not exactly fit in with the rest of your fist.  However they are an anchor that allows you to grasp things and hold on.  My wife is my thumb.  She makes me better because of our differences.  Without her I feel off balance.  The thumb may be the most difficult for a young person to find because that person may be an non-obvious ally.

The pointer finger – This is the person in your circle that is where you want to be in many areas.  They act as a role model or mentor in some ways.  Sometimes it is difficult to get a personal relationship with the people that you want to be.  So modern technology is a great asset.  Use podcasts, blogs, books, videos or whatever other means you can find to get into the mind of someone that you respect.  Depending on your specific goals, this person may be intelligent, wealthy, athletic or inspiring.  If you are relying on resources rather than live people, it may be worthwhile to diversify your pointer fingers.  I’ve had many over the years for different reasons: Tim Ferriss, Gary Vaynerchuk, Tony Robbins, Napoleon Hill, Teddy Roosevelt and Jack Canfield.  I try to avoid “hero worship”.  As you get a deeper picture into a persons life, you realize that we all have flaws.  So picking up the musical talent secrets of a figure like Kurt Cobain might be great.  Following him in other ways is less productive.  Take the good that fits within your model of the world and run with it.

The middle finger – This is the person who believes in your abilities with such confidence that they are willing to say “F___ YOU!” to anyone that doubts you.  I would prefer that this person be you but I realize that you might not be there yet.  The key to the middle finger is that it is your strength.  It stands above the rest in a prominent position.  It doesn’t need to flip off the world all of the time, just when it’s warranted.  Another reason why I’d like for your middle finger to be you is that it stands at the center of the fist.  You should be at the center of your world and all fist movement should be directed by you.  I wasn’t always my middle finger but I am now.

The ring finger – This is your support person.  This person is most like you in the world.  There is little chance that in any situation they won’t understand your point of view.  They are the person that you lean on in bad times.  Perhaps you can sit and watch TV with them just because their presence is comforting.  A good ring finger is worth its weight in gold because you don’t ever have to try.  My ring finger is my brother, Dave.  I never have to consider for a moment where we stand.

The pinkie – This is your comic relief.  The person who can always make you laugh.  Regardless of the situation, they are able to give you a chuckle when you most need it.  Often this person is a stark contrast to the rest of your fist.  No matter how different they may be, they are extremely important to the fist and your balance.  I’m extremely lucky because I met my pinkie in college.  My friend, Schaef, is the guy that I call when I need to laugh.  Even at myself.  We repeat the same jokes and it doesn’t matter.

Even though I’ve got my fist set at the moment, it is able to change and should at times.  For example, I am looking very deeply into finding a live “pointer finger”.  I think that interaction would be great for me to go to the next level.  So go find your fist or at least identify them and realize their importance.

Go get stuff done.

Pete

 

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Chase

Pete Huryk

The bed and the couch never try to escape. There is never a shortage of food that tastes good but is horrible for you. The distractions and setbacks are all around us. Yet we act as if these were the things that were fleeting or important.   When in fact it is the opposite.

Time is fleeting and opportunity is always on the run. Catching up to our dreams takes consistent pace that often looks like a sprint. The life that we want will run until we wear it out and find it resting from exhaustion.  Are you ready to chase what you want?  Or are you looking for an excuse to rest?  One is easy to find and will always be there.  Is that for you?

Make today happen.

Pete

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The Hurdler’s Advantage

Pete Huryk

Mark Painter is one of the best soccer players that I’ve ever played with and he is also a great hurdler.  When he was in high school, he could run the 400 meter hurdles faster than I could run 400 meters.  That race is exhausting and takes technical skill as well.  The experienced hurdler does have one advantage over the rest of us: anticipation.  Hurdles are always set in the same distance patterns.  So there is a rhythm to hurdling and being in that rhythm is a recipe for success.

Imagine for a moment though if the hurdles were set at different distance for each race.  Or even worse, imagine if the hurdles were moving during the race.  This can be the way that racing toward a goal often feels.  We get into a rhythm that seems to be working for us but then we trip on a hurdle that we weren’t anticipating.  It can be disheartening and frustrating but life does not set up races to be fair.  Life sets up races with a difficulty level that is on par with your goal.  The beginning may be clear sailing but you know that the end is going to be filled with hurdles.

The trouble is that we don’t usually have the hurdler’s advantage in life.  Although there are many hurdles we can anticipate, others will pop up when we least expect it.  We need to make much of it up “on the fly” as we go in life.  So complaining about how life tripped you up is not going to get you anywhere because life’s race continues regardless of your complaints.  Know yourself as best as possibly can and run with a realization that the hurdles are coming.  If you truly want that thing at the finish line, you’ll find your way through the hurdles.

Keep going,

Pete

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The Pendulum’s Swing

Pete Huryk

When I was in 8th grade, our class visited Washington D.C.  We visited many historical sites that moved me in one way or another.  One item that captivated my attention was a large pendulum that systematically knocked down pegs in specific time intervals.  I’ve also attached a video to a very cool pendulum science experiment.  The amazing thing about pendulums for me is not their scientific application but the way they mirror many of the human experiences.  Talk to any historian, economist or scientist and you will see that the cycles of humans often swing just like a pendulum.  Although these swings may seem inevitable, there are a few ways to affect the pendulum: change the point of equilibrium and create micro-swings.

Changing the Point of Equilibrium – Basically this means that if my weight swings between 190 lbs to 200 lbs throughout the year, 195 is the point of equilibrium.  It is the middle of the swing.  The reason for the swing over the year is based on several factors such as weather, holidays, exercise and other.  There is a daily swing as well.  So if I was to keep the swing (which I can’t fully stop) but move the equilibrium point to 193, I’m on a healthier swing at bare minimum.  Over time this new swing will become the norm and I won’t even give it much thought.

Creating Micro-Swings – Although I cannot completely stop the pendulum, I can reduce the arc of the swing to make it almost seem like it is standing still.  The issue with creating micro-swings is how large of a pendulum are you dealing with?  Maintaining something like hydration levels is relatively easy to do and track.  However creating a micro-swing for finances may be almost impossible.  The key to creating a micro-swing is an opposite force.  The pendulum wants to swing in its normal patter, you need to apply a slowing force to reduce the swing.

Why the long discussion of pendulums?  Something came across my news feed yesterday with reference to the “JFK Challenge”.  It was a physical fitness program instituted at La Sierra High School.  It impressed President Kennedy so much that he wanted to spread it nationally.  At the moment there is a campaign to do a film on the program.  Go to https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/la-sierra-high-pe.

Although I am not sure that such a regimented physical education program will be adopted in the US, I do believe that we are at the wrong end of a pendulum swing.  Perhaps a national change in our Point of Equilibrium is needed.  A recognition that there is a correlation between physical fitness and many of the attributes that we desire such as happiness, confidence and longevity.  That change would be a great one to see in my lifetime and perhaps one day we could have a micro-swing.

Change for the better will almost never be a policy handed down to us.  Change for the better is a decision that needs to be made by the majority of us.

 

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The Spectator’s Chance

Pete Huryk

There is a common dream that people have where they are a spectator at a sporting event or musical performance.  Suddenly something happens and it becomes necessary for them to become part of the game or performance.  Inevitably in this dream state, the dreamer is successful in this unlikely circumstance and then they wake up.

Personally I’ve had different versions of this dream in the past.  The only part that I dislike is the waking up.  It’s obviously a spectacular fantasy with no basis in reality.  Especially at my age, I’ll never make it as a professional soccer player and I don’t even play an instrument.  The allure comes from the sudden and unexpected success.  To go from zero to hero in the blink of an eyes is the dream of many.

The question that I have for myself today is “what if the waking up is the best part?”  Maybe by waking up after that glimpse of impossible hope we could take a step forward in the real world.  I’m never going to make it as a pro soccer player, this is true.  However there are many other dreams that my inner spectator can move toward right now.  But it’s not going to be a zero to hero moment.  Very few things in life ever are and why should that be the goal to begin with?  Most lottery winners end up bankrupt because they can’t handle the transition.

The spectator’s chance is in the waking up!  Realizing that it won’t happen in a moment.  And DOING IT ANYWAY!