Tag: motivation

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The Path Is Broken

Pete Huryk

Appalachian TrailEach year my brother and I go for a hike on the Appalachian Trail.  It is one of my favorite times of the year.  It’s an awe-inspiring thing.  The trail is only a few feet wide but it is over two thousand miles long.  The path is usually easy enough to follow because lots of people hike it each year.  This past spring we hiked our normal section in reverse.  Due to an overflowing stream, we ended up on the wrong trail for a while.  Eventually we were able to get back to the AT but first we had to get our bearings and hiked some new ground with new sites.  Hiking the AT is a great experience that I’ve enjoyed a lot.  It’s not the only path and it’s not the path for everyone.

While hiking the AT is great, it is a horrible path to be on if you’re trying to get to Ohio.  As I prepare for another year in the classroom, I wonder how many of our paths are broken.  We have constructed so many procedures, social norms and belief systems.  It seems as though many of them are broken or breaking.  The 20th Century American Human had a pretty clear cut set of guidelines for his or her “success”.  Money, fame, power, and possessions were indicators of “success”.  Perhaps they still are but I don’t know that the old paths still lead to those desired ends.  The fact that we have been going down these paths for generations will be little consolation to the young people who end up lost on “the right path”.

Perhaps what we need now is a compass and a machete rather than a path.  The future is an uncertain thing.  Following the well-worn path may still get you to its historical end but it may help more to question the path.  Is this the right path for you?  At bare minimum the question and the decision to follow or not puts your life into your own hands.  In the end that’s where it should be anyway.  If you follow in everyone else’s footsteps and don’t like where you end up, then you made the mistake, not the path.

Find your True North and follow it this week.

Pete

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Hiding in Plain Sight

Pete Huryk

WaterTowerI’ll admit it openly that I have fallen off of the exercise wagon this summer.  Grandiose hopes of more time and fewer distractions turned into shut off alarms and Netflix watching.  Although there were spurts of activity, I have fallen short of my own standard for acceptability in both frequency and duration of exercise.  Today I began the climb out of that hole.

After completing my run and heading for the gym, I walked by this structure on the right.  I’m not really sure what it is.  It is on the site of an old fish hatchery.  So it might have held feed at one point or possibly it is a type of water tower.  Regardless of its function, I can pretty honestly say that I have never noticed it before.  Despite having many activities as a youth and an adult less than a hundred yards away, it was invisible to me.  If I had noticed it at a younger age, it might have been something that I would have climbed or pretended was a fort or bunker.  Now it is useless to me.

In many ways this experience mirrors that which happens to all of us at one point or another.  We discover things about ourselves which were in plain sight for most people to see.  However we become so accustomed to ourselves that we don’t notice.  We don’t notice that we can be confident, intelligent, funny or courageous until that trait is covered with rust and overgrowth.  It seems useless to us because it would take so much effort to change it, repair it and use it.  It is not too late.

The rust and neglect of the past cannot compare with the continuous action of now.  The picture that you have of yourself may be old and only representative of your past.  Much like when we look at our yearbooks, it is easy to see that we are no longer the same.  We are always evolving into new people.  That evolution can come about by chance or by choice.  So as you look at yourself today, find those things that are hiding in plain sight.  Find your passion, your strength, your courage and charisma.  It is waiting for you to pull away the leaves and polish off the rust.  The same old you is always available if that’s who you want to be.

Enjoy the weekend!

Pete

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Paranoid and the Self-Righteous

Pete Huryk

paranoid“Finished with my woman ’cause she couldn’t help me with my mind.  People think I’m insane ’cause I am frowning all the time.”  Those lines don’t even need the backing of guitars or drums to churn a feeling of very raw emotion in my stomach.  “Paranoid” by Ozzy Osbourne/Black Sabbath was the preferred soundtrack of my pre-high school years.  Despite its melancholy and borderline hopeless lyrics, it always seemed to be able to put me into a frenzy that required action of some kind.  My music selection at the time came as a surprise to many especially my middle school French teacher, Madame Gowie.

Although I’m not quite sure where my ability for languages came from, I was able to display talent even in middle school.  Nothing says “cool” in middle school better than being good in French class!  Unfortunately I was slightly unaware of what it took to be cool and became one of Madame Gowie’s favorites with the French name of “Pierre Paul” to boot.  The first time when I truly disappointed the good Madame was when I brought in a picture of someone famous for description.  My magazine picture of Ozzy Osbourne left her in a state of disgust.  Her thoughts about Mr. John Michael Osbourne were not positive in the slightest and it possibly changed her thoughts about me.  For my own part, I had a much stronger positive feeling toward Mr. Osbourne and the effect he had on my life.  So I took up the more normal disposition and disliked French class with my peers.

It was almost too easy for Madame Gowie and others to dislike Ozzy Osbourne.  He sang loud music that they disliked.  His song “Suicide Solution” had been under scrutiny in a court case where a family alleged that the song caused their son’s suicide.  He bit the heads off of bats and doves, what was there to like?

I’m not trying to portray Ozzy Osbourne as my hero by any stretch of the imagination.  My point is that for many people, his “evil” became a way for them to feel more righteous.  It is all too common of a practice today that we mask our own weakness and shortcoming by focusing on those who are worse than us.  If we are fat, we find the obese or our heavier past to feel good.  Do not look to the evil of others to find your righteousness.  You should be able to have a sense of pride in who you are and what you do without the disclaimer of comparing yourself to another.  It is a shell game that you can’t ever win.  “I can’t see the things that lead to happiness, I must be blind.”  There should be a level of autonomy to who you are and how you feel about yourself.  By comparing yourself to others too often, you are either inflating or deflating that which is unique and special about you.

“I tell you to enjoy life….” forget the rest.

Pete

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Better Mediocrity

Pete Huryk

mediocreMediocre means “ordinary, average, middle-of-the-road, unexceptional, lackluster and forgettable.”  In many ways, I would put myself in the category of mediocre.  I’m 5 foot 9 inches tall and weigh 190 pounds.  My bench press and squat numbers are nothing impressive.  I got a 1060 on my SATs (the old version).  My yearly income is nothing to “write home about”.  By most accounts, I am pretty mediocre.

The thought of mediocrity has been one that has entered my mind several times over the past year.  The realization of my own mediocrity was nothing new.  I have little chance to become exceptional in most areas.  Even for my age, the benchmarks of excellence are pretty high.  This divide creates a chasm that stagnates improvement.  With the possibility of excellence off the table, it is easy to see why so many people lose their drive.  However it is actually in this chasm that I believe we actually have the greatest of societal opportunities.  As a collective (Athletes, Americans, Humans), we can choose to strive for better mediocrity.

In the past, I have written about the “Bannister Effect” and how the breaking of new ground creates possibilities for others to follow.  That is a concept that I still endorse wholeheartedly.  However as I thought about my own mediocrity, I came to realize that we need a “second wave”.  There must be another push from the middle.  The outliers pulling forward will only have an effect on those that are close to their level.  For example, the 10s only pull the 9s forward but the effect is almost unnoticeable by the time that it reaches the critical mass in the middle.

This second wave needs to be created as an individual and a  collective undertaking.  The mediocre individual competes for the most part with himself.  Improving with a partially selfish desire to take a step up one rung on the ladder.  Despite this selfish motivation, the individual also recognizes his membership of a collective (Athletes, Americans, Humans).  The “mediocre Americans” are getting better.  The middle of the road changes from 5 to 7 and there is a pride in self and the collective.

Better mediocrity would change so many things about our lives and expectations.  Perhaps mediocre would no longer be a slight insult but rather an identifiable force pushing the forerunners to greater excellence.  If you happen to be mediocre, choose to be better mediocre!

Pete

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Know Thyself (Protect Your Baby)

Pete Huryk

emily 60608 010This is by far one of my favorite pictures.  It seemingly represents a father “asleep on the job”.  The parenting books say that you shouldn’t do this.  However I have this identical photo with my son and I never had a mishap.  There are many reasons why I love this picture.  One is that it is a reminder of a period of time when I learned a lot about myself.

The learning curve for a first-time (and even second time) parent is pretty steep.  Your life is filled with turmoil and you work on less sleep than seems humanly possible.  A key to survival as a parent is self-knowledge.  My wife and I were a good team through the infant stages because we knew our own and the other’s strengths.  My cuddle naps were a piece of the puzzle that made a difficult time more manageable.  I knew that I wouldn’t roll because the cargo was too precious.  Raising a child is a mixture of trial and error with a complete belief that you will not fail no matter what.

Babies teach you a lot about yourself because you can’t bargain with them.  They let you know their needs on a constant basis.  Your complaints, excuses and convenience do not matter to a new born baby.  They will test your limits and then retest them the next day.  Ultimately you end up finding strength that you never thought you had before.  It is inevitable because you have no other choice.

What is your baby?  Is it making the varsity team?  Is it singing a solo in the concert?  Is it running a marathon?  Is it asking that special someone to prom?  Is it finishing that book that you started six months ago?

Take care of your baby.  Keep it warm and safe.  Feed it with the best fuel that you can find.  Help it get on its feet.  Stand it back up when it falls flat on its face.  Help it find its legs and walk on its own.  Protect it from the ridicule of others.  Watch it grow and be proud of what it becomes because it is yours.

Sea Isle City 089Take care of your baby!  Even when it throws up in your face!

Pete

 

 

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The Fog and The Fear

Pete Huryk

DelawareMemSunday morning I drove from Maryland to a soccer tournament in South Jersey.  I crossed the Delaware Memorial Bridge at about 7:30 am.  This is not a major problem but I have a fear of heights.  When I cross high bridges, I usually get a tingling sensation in my legs.  It is a physical reaction to my mental picture of the bridge coincidentally collapsing as my car crosses it.  This fear is not debilitating, just a sensation that I have to move past.   There was a heavy fog that morning and I could not see any indication of height.  Strangely enough there was no tingling in my legs despite knowing that the height was there.  This was extremely odd because the tingling has been consistent for years.

Fog is nothing more than a dense accumulation of water molecules that clouds our vision slightly.  The fog allowed my vision to focus on the road ahead and nothing else.  It’s such as simple thing but it is profound as well.  The thing that we fear is very rarely staring us right in the face.  It is usually on the periphery and we allow it to distract us just enough to cause accidents or immobilize us.  The fog didn’t take away the possibility of danger, it only blurred my acknowledgement of it.  As you set a goal, fog your fear as well.

Make your goal ever-present.  Put it in front of you in pictures, words and emotions.  Print it out in 72 pt font.  Ingrain its presence into your consciousness like a hot rivet being driven into a steel beam.  Then take your fears and put them out there in the fog.  If you’re a picture person, put the photo of your fear behind wax paper.  Print it in 4 pt font, so that by comparison that fear is extremely small.  It is acknowledged but not as big as the goal.    Fear is almost never completely extinguished.  The key is to make it an ember rather than a bonfire.  Embers are easy to ignore.  Fog your fear and focus on your goal.

Go for that big thing today, tomorrow and the next day!

Pete

 

Blogpost, self-reliance

The V.O.C.

Pete Huryk

VocIn today’s high-speed world, people use acronyms more often than ever before.  In the past people hoped to be the MVP, a VIP or the CEO.    Now we are saying IDK, LOL, BRB and other things that I don’t even feel comfortable writing in acronym form.  Today I’ve decided to coin my own acronym.  It applies to many people and even applies to me at times.  Rather than being a VIP, we seem intent upon being the V.O.C.

The VOC is the Victim Of Circumstance.  It’s a really tough place to live.  Circumstances keep piling up on these individuals that they don’t like.  The world has thrust all of this upon them.  They don’t like their job, school, boyfriend/girlfriend, lack of popularity, lack of influence or prospects for the future.  These people have it, THE WORST EVER!.  Go ahead and try to tell them about a bad situation in your life and they can find one from theirs that is ten times worse.  The worst thing in most cases about being a member of the VOC club is that you have to choose to be a member!

That is one heck of a choice to make.  There are many things in this world that we should choose to be, a victim should not be one of them.  The problem with being a victim is the lack of power.  It is by nature a position of weakness and defense.  At some point the VOC decided that it was better to be weak, defensive and blameless rather than taking responsibility for themselves.  This is a dangerous bargain to make because eventually it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When you are wearing brown tinted glasses, everything in the world looks like feces.

So rather than being the VOC, become the DOC.  The Director Of Circumstances is not completely in control of circumstance but acts more like a traffic cop.  The DOC decides what he or she will let pass and what needs to be stopped and evaluated further.  The traffic cop is separate from the traffic.  They may cause it, they may alleviate it but they are not the traffic.  Ultimately, they can usually move to a different intersection if their position becomes too much to handle.  It is a game of choice.

Direct your life today!  Don’t be a victim within it!

Pete

 

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“Daddy, Watch This!”

Pete Huryk

“Daddy, Watch this!” is a phrase that I heard about two hundred times yesterday.  My seven year old daughter was saying it as she performed an underwater back-flip or some other trick in the pool.  The consistent request got me thinking about the request.  While she was extremely happy to do the trick on her own, it became even more important that she share it with me.  The perfection of her delivery did not matter, each attempt was important even the “failures”.

As she flipped in the water, I thought about my students, adult friends and myself.  We generally primp, polish and perfect everything before we put it on display.  The obvious reason for this is a form of fear.  We have failure shamed out of us by the time we are teenagers.  The unfortunate thing is that failure is a necessary ingredient to all progress.  Although public display of failure isn’t particularly necessary, I’m not sure many of us seek out failure in private either.  In a society where no one ever fails, we stand still and become spectators watching the same old tired tricks that we’ve seen before.

So now what do you do?  What do I do?  We fail forward.  We try to top what we’ve done before with the childlike optimism that we can.  Then as we get closer and closer to our coveted goal, we can scream at the top of our lungs “WATCH THIS!”  Perhaps we’ll fall on our faces.  However I’d rather be face-down ready to try again than be standing on the sidelines with an empty heart and only criticism to offer the world.

Go fail forward today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Scumbag and Tragedy Report

Pete Huryk

100_9372My son’s first birthday party is a memory that I will never forget.  The unfortunate thing is that the reason that particular birthday sticks in my memory is not the cake, the presents or the joy of my wonderful little boy celebrating his first year on this planet.  It is memorable because of what happened the next day.  The next day a student at Virginia Tech killed 32 people and wounded 17 others.  The two events are forever coupled in my mind and at the time shook the very foundation of who I am as a person.

In the aftermath of the shootings, there were several practical things that needed to be done.  I was teaching at school less than two hours from VA Tech.  We instituted protocols for locking down the campus and dealt with the grief of students.  There was a lingering problem that I had trouble reconciling.  I had an extreme amount of guilt for bringing a child into a world that was capable of such evil.  After celebrating the life of one of the people that I love the most, this act of evil made me question what I had done.  The tragedy in Charleston is the latest reminder that the evil of man is still here.  My heart goes out to the people who have lost someone in these senseless acts.  The victims, their families and friends are the only ones that matter now.  I know they are hurting much worse than I was over eight years ago but I have hope for them and us.  For my own part, I was able to pull myself out of the pit of despair that I had created for myself.  There were two words that brought me out: focus and hope.

By focusing on the evil of the world, I had made it my reality.  It is an easy thing to do at times because the media shows us regularly what horrible people can do.  This is not particularly their fault because we pay more attention to tragedy and they are giving us what “gets the ratings”.  However I choose to focus on other things now.  I see joy in my daughter’s eyes for big events like “field day”.  My eyes turn to Mrs. Lobby, the kindergarten teacher, who pours her heart and soul into little minds every day.  You’ll never see those things on the “scumbag and tragedy” report in the evening but they still exist and that is the world that I live in.

My other word is hope.  I have hope and confidence that the good in people will spread and win.  It is my influence on my children and the other people that I have contact with that I can affect the future.  I am a small drop in a large ocean but I hope that my small ripple combine with those of others can create a tidal wave of good that reaches around the world.  We must find the good in each other and expose that to the rest of the world.

As my final thought, I’d like for you to imagine two pitchers and a large bucket.  In one pitcher is red colored water and in the other there is blue.  If you only pour red into the bucket, the bucket water will be all red.  If you pour equal of both, you get purple.  The water has no choice what color it is.  However we have a choice what we put out into the world.  If you want the world to be greedy, selfish, hateful and driven by negative thoughts and emotion, then put those out there.  Recognize that you have a choice.  I don’t have rose colored glasses on and I’m not going to break into a verse of “kumbaya”.  The only thing that I want you to realize is that you have a choice.  The world is not inherently evil nor is it inherently good.  People have choices.

Be good to one another.

Pete

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The Pepsi Challenge

Pete Huryk

pepsiLast century (specifically in the 1980s) Pepsi had commercials and other advertising with the “Pepsi Challenge”.  An “unbiased” consumer was asked to try two different colas and give their preference.  Of course the on-camera participants always chose Pepsi.  Perhaps it was what they truly liked or the entire thing was rigged in some way.  In all honesty it doesn’t matter that much to me because I preferred Pepsi to Coke without the seeing choices of others.  It does make for an interesting discussion on why we choose the things that we do.

In a given day, you have literally thousands and possibly millions of choices to make.  Some of these choices are simple and probably automatic.  For example “Am I going to wear clothes today?”  No matter whether the answer is yes or no, it is an easy choice based on your daily life.  Other choices are much more complex and require major deliberation.  Choosing to go to college or the military is life-altering and for many would demand some time and attention.  In the middle of the automatic and grandiose decisions are many moment to moment choices that need to be made by you.  There are many people who treat these mid-level choices as though they were huge.  Others put all of their choices on automatic pilot letting others decide for them.  The worst scenario is that people forget that they are choosing at all.

In each moment, you have choices and some of the most important are about how you are going to feel.  Believe it or not, it is a choice.  If you are feeling sad, it is a choice.  Perhaps there are very good reasons for you to choose that but it is your choice.  By taking the physical state of your body, your mental focus of the moment and your inner dialogue, you determined the feeling that you were going to produce.

So now I put a new “Pepsi Challenge” on to you.  Let’s call it the “Huryk Challenge”.  Can you choose to feel good in all circumstances today?  No matter what life throws at you, can you CHOOSE to feel good.  You do not need to like the circumstances but you choose your feeling despite the poor situation.  I challenge you.

Choose to have a great day!

Pete