Tag: inspiration

Blogpost, self-reliance

Not Sure How We Got Here

Pete Huryk

The beauty of movies, history books and our memories is that they are an incomplete record of occurrences that portray themselves as complete. A narrative can be created that is streamlined and economical. It can overlook unimportant routines like brushing one’s teeth or less public friendly activities. Also it allows for missteps, mistakes and blunders to be overlooked in favor of the favorable outcomes. This does not just make for better stories. It makes for better futures because we tend to forget how nervous we were on that date that ended up going well. We also tend to give our own actions a bit more credit than they possibly deserve. A bit fortunate timing or circumstance may have played into the success that we claim for ourselves.

The problem is that the reverse is also true. Our failures tend to belong to us. We erase or edit the factors that we had little to no control over in favor of our faults. There is also a tendency to make stories have an end that comes in a reasonable timeline. Failing at diet or relationship can seem like a finished story but even movies have sequels. There is no reason why trying again is off the table. Usually it is not due to a lack of opportunity but rather a lack of desire to fail again.

Regardless of who you are, there is a backstory that has brought you here. Most of it doesn’t matter. You’ve already edited most of it out. So as you move forward be ready, willing and able to recognize those moments that will end up cut from the final story. You don’t need to be perfect. None of us is! You are doing the exact same thing as everyone else. Trying to progress through your story. At this very second, you are existing due to mixture of intent, luck, fortune, misfortune, laziness, etc. Do your utmost to step forward into this day and make it memorable in the best possible way. While also keeping in mind that if does not live up to that billing, it will probably be forgotten. Often we do not have any clue what days are going to be memorable or not, so do the best that you can with the ones that you’re given.

Action!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Man of Golden Words

Pete Huryk

Music has always been a big part of my life. Different songs have become the soundtrack to years or even decades. Some hang on even longer than that and speak almost directly to something inside. One of those songs was written by Andrew Wood. An artist that died before I even heard any of his music but his impact on me and the musical landscape lingers on. He was the lead singer of a band called Mother Love Bone which almost directly preceded Pearl Jam. In addition to that, he was the roommate of Chris Cornell who reportedly the song “Man of Golden Words” is about.

It’s a relatively simple song with mainly piano and guitar played behind lyrics that are repetitive but poignant. Admittedly, Wood and I could not be more different. The reason that you’ve most likely never heard of him or Mother Love Bone is that he died of an overdose before his band could ride the wave of the Seattle music scene in the 1990s. Probably his greatest link to fame is his former bandmates who formed Pearl Jam and a tribute “band” called Temple of the Dog which is a lyric from this song. Despite his untimely demise, his impact was undeniable on the scene of the time and on individuals like myself thirty plus years later.

Each of us has within us both the propensity to give gifts that are more meaningful than they should be and also receive the same. The man of golden words doesn’t truly live because his words are not golden to everyone. Someone will read this and take the impetus to listen to the song and not hear what I hear. AND THAT’S OK! It’s not the catalyst for them but for me it has been and continues to be a form of rocket fuel for my soul. I put things out into the world regularly with my students, through this blog and other places simply in the hope that one person might have that golden words moment. We all need them! The world is often unforgiving and at the moment, it seems to take more energy than it gives. These gifts that we can put out into the world for others to find are so extremely important. It doesn’t need to be a song or a piece of art or anything more than sharing a moment with someone that lifts them up. The idea of being stingy with what you have is common place because you might not get back what you put out. I can never give back to Andrew Wood what he has given to me but I can pay it forward.

There are other souls in this world who are in need of golden words because they are hurting or just disillusioned. Our species is not defined simply by our flesh and blood. If it were, we’d have gone extinct long ago because we are mediocre animals. The thing that separates us is the ability to put meaning to things far beyond what is true. We elevate our thoughts and ourselves to heights that we should not be able to reach. However we do it regularly when we are inspired. Each of us has the ability to give and receive these types of gifts. Look for them and don’t be afraid to give them, even when you’ll never know the recipient.

Words and music, my only tools!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Adults Don’t Want White Belts

Pete Huryk

In several martial arts practices, the white belt is given to the novice. The person who is just beginning their journey gets the symbol with no color to it. Mostly this is not an issue because the beginner is often a child who does not get overly concerned with status. A lack of knowledge or prestige is not a problem. It is a matter of fact. However adults tend to not want to be white belts. Not just in martial arts but in anything. They avoid the new and difficult in favor of the known and simple. It is an exercise in ego protection rather than a strategy for growth and fulfillment.

So many of the forces in our lives are counterproductive to our progress as people. Although things like friends, family, education, culture, etc. should be forces on the side of our self-actualization; they tend to come with the baggage of expectation and comparison. This tends to thwart our efforts in invisible ways. Our desire to “stay the same”, “not look foolish”, or “get good grades” tend to override our natural inclination toward discovery. Ask any kindergartener about their ability to be president, make a movie, be an astronaut, and their confidence will astound. Adults tend to only be confident when criticizing the performance of others. When faced with their own shortcomings, the subject is quickly swept under the rug.

It’s never been a better time to be a white belt! Why? Because today is all that you get. If you’re not willing to try something new today, tomorrow you’ll be even less likely to go for it. We are creatures of habit and just like anything else avoiding the new and difficult is a routine. It must be broken in order to claim the prizes on the other side of being a beginner. It is hard. It is humbling but it is necessary! So put on your white belt and try something new. At bare minimum, you’ll learn that you’re not perfect and that’s something we all need to remember from time to time.

Beginner and failure are not the same things!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Is The Cave Necessary?

Pete Huryk

As I’ve been spending a lot of time on a stationary bike recently, my movie watching has shot up dramatically. At the moment, I’m delving back into older films. Today I started the original Iron Man movie that began the MCU. Tony Stark begins his journey as a superhero in a cave with a man named Yinsen. Up until that point, he is completely self-interested and almost gluttonous in his life’s pursuits. In the cave, he goes through a transition where he must consider his mortality, legacy and future. Physically weakened and with limited resources, he is able to devise a plan for his own escape and embarks on a path toward a more selfless role. He went into the cave as one man and came out another. Although his abilities had not changed, his perspective and his decisions had. DRASTICALLY!

Each of us has certain abilities. At times we do not get the absolute best out of our potential. We know that we “should” do one thing or another but often we don’t. That is UNTIL we hit a “cave” moment where we are forced to look at ourselves from the outside and emerge different. It’s not easy because we usually don’t go into the cave by choice. An event usually puts us there. We always had the ability to change but comfort in our present situation usually stops us. The cave is a catalyst because our comfort is stripped from us. Through the discomfort we feel compelled into action but it could have been done at any time.

The cave isn’t usually necessary but often it is the thing that truly works. Human beings are odd creatures who find all manner of reasons to do the wrong things but often must be forced into doing the right. Circumstances are a great motivator but wouldn’t you rather do something because you want to and not because you have to? All it truly takes is a change in perspective and decisions. You can save yourself before you’re truly in peril!

Be your own superhero today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

What’s In a Name?

Pete Huryk

Recently I met a new friend who by her estimation has a very “feminine” name and has always lamented it. As an athlete, she wanted to have a name that was more unisex or possibly even “tougher”. On the one hand, I see her point. Around the time that my kids were born, I lobbied for the name Cuauhtemoc, half-heartedly. It was the name of the last Aztec king who revolted against the Spanish. Almost the reverse concept of Johnny Cash song, “A Boy Named Sue”, my hope was that a name might add to my child’s identity. Alas, I didn’t follow through with it but I did choose not to make my son the fourth in line of Peters.

With all of that said, there is something about a name that establishes a partial identity. I can’t say definitively but Einstein may have ended up differently if his name had been Hercules. Much like DNA, a name can set the wheels in motion toward particular traits. However it is far from complete. The individual must express those traits regularly. A person is not destined to a particular life based solely on their name.

So my friend can take heart. A name is only part of the story, each of us must define ourselves through our actions on a regular basis. It’s possible to be a badass without being named, Attila the Hun. Although it may help, Attila made his name memorable. The same is true for any of us. There was a time when Elon Musk had almost no meaning to anyone but him and family/friends. Your name is important but most of the meaning is what you put into it!

Live up to your name, or make your name moniker for greatness!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

How’s It Going To Be?

Pete Huryk

It’s one of those moments that I can go back to in an instant. Sitting in an airplane with my best friend next to me. We had just spent a month at the World Cup. Five games and a variety of different adventures gave us memories for a lifetime but we were exhausted. We were close but maybe too close for a bit too long. The return to the States was a dissent from an exciting dream world to an uncertain reality. I was literally and figuratively up in the air. Living arrangements, relationship, school, work, etc. None were on solid ground. With my portable CD player resting on my leg, I kept playing the songs from the Third Eye Blind album. Feeling completely out of control and the question, “How’s it going to be?” blasting into my ears. The events that followed are much less interesting than the moment in time.

We’ve all been there on one level or another. Life tends to throw just enough at us in key moments to check if we are paying attention or possibly in need of a shake up. Most of the time, we spend our lives in a quasi equilibrium of our own creation. Our days tend to look similar. We tend to be similar. But everything is changing, even if it is at an imperceptible rate. It is only during these big upheavals that we become concerned with “How’s it going to be?”

The simple answer to the question is that it will be fine. No matter the circumstance, people have an amazing ability to regain their balance. A more important question is “How can you make it be?” In a period of unrest, when all of the pieces of your life are scattered in some way, is it best to put it back together how it was? Or is that disarray the perfect time to reconfigure, reconstruct and strengthen? No one wishes for hard times but they are exactly what makes us who we are. Whether you’re in one of those uncertain times or not, it’s time to make things better! You’re not going to know “How it’s going to be?” until you get there. So for now, you need to focus on making it all that it can be.

Keep your eyes forward, even the third one!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Fear to Dream

Pete Huryk

There is an actual condition called Oneirophobia which is the fear of dreams, specifically nightmares or night terrors. That’s not what I’m talking about at all. I am worried that people today are afraid of the more common place aspirations. Those things that we had when we were kids! We were all astronauts, cowboys or both! That’s not to say that we need to be fool-hearty or dimwitted. Reality is a factor that needs to be considered. However, there seems to be a space between jumping and flying that we are leaving largely undiscovered or even ignored. Not due to a lack of propulsion potential but a fear of not reaching the desired height.

As a former high jumper, I understand the mental blocks that exist with achieving certain heights. For well over a year, I tried and failed to clear 6 feet 0 inches. Incremental improvement on certain tasks can be time consuming and frustrating. However, I never stopped jumping. In fact, I probably had more attempts at 6’0″ in that year than any prior or since. The problem that I am so concerned with is the concept that if I can’t clear my goal, then I shouldn’t bother to jump. The desire for the result should be a form of fuel but the possibility of failure should not inherently be a brake or an anchor. Guarantees of success are hard to come by in this world and becoming dependent upon them is a strategy wrought with more disappointment than failure could ever offer. The simple and mundane are the only things that are guaranteed.

So be willing to risk failure, possibly even spectacular failure! That risk is the price that one must pay for anything worth having. Don’t fear to dream! Dare to dream! We are not the ancestors of idle dreamers. It is only because they did, that we get to continue to do. Change your dreams, sure! Adjust your plans, fine! But do not fear to dream! Otherwise you won’t have to dream about your tomorrow. It will look exactly like today or maybe a little worse.

We belong
In a world that must be strong
Oh, that’s what dreams are made of
And in the end
On dreams we will depend
‘Cause that’s what love is made of! – Dreams by Van Halen

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Flip the Script on Valentine’s Day

Pete Huryk

It’s a sore subject! I get it! For many people, Valentine’s Day is the absolute WORST! A reminder from seemingly all of the world about an unwanted status or a commercialism that seems to come with everything nowadays. If you’re steadfast in your hatred of February 14th, have at it! All of your complaints and thoughts about the quasi-holiday are completely accurate! My hope here is not to convince the unconvinceable (real word?). It is merely to offer an alternative to those people who encounter flowers, candy or hearts and automatically SEE RED!

Imagine if there was an International Water Day (actually there is! It’s March 22nd). A day that was intended to celebrate water and how wonderful it is. People going into pools, playing in fountains, drinking that clear sparkly stuff to their heart’s content. The people without any water whatsoever would have every right to get pissed about their lack as others splurge. However I have no doubt that some company named after an Eastern European Country and a season would create commemorative bottles or something to make a few extra bucks off of the holiday. People who didn’t get their “extra special” Water Day present would feel like they had missed out on something. Even if they had plenty of “normal” water to quench their thirst. Somehow the regular water doesn’t seem special enough (hey wait, we’ve kind of done this anyway). You see my point though. It’s not a real lack! It’s a manufactured lack or a perceived lack. At bare minimum that thirsty person on water day can most likely count on the fact that they’ll find themselves quenched at some point soon.

Just like water, love is a human need. We don’t need it on the same level or consistency as water but nonetheless, it’s there. Unlike water, love is something that we can create on our own without digging a hole or waiting for a storm. It’s a moment away from us and the most important person to give that to is yourself. Obviously, many of us have been sold on that “extra special” version of love that Valentine’s Day is supposed to represent. The fact that you thirst for it is a good thing! Even if you don’t have it at the moment, doesn’t mean that you won’t. This day is not life thumbing its nose at you. As it is said in one of my favorite movies “Love Actually is all around.” Whether you have someone “special” in your life or not, there’s plenty of love to go around.

You’re pretty awesome regardless of your relationship status!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Conquering King or Queen

Pete Huryk

It’s a romantic concept isn’t it? Being a monarch presiding over an area that you can call your own. People hold you in high esteem because of your dominion. At a certain point though, you might have decided that it’s not enough. You need more land, more subjects and more whatever. That requires your army to go out into the new territory and take it for your own. Depending on the inhabitants and owner, this could be extremely easy or difficult. Regardless, it requires some form of effort. The world is not going to just surrender to you! Since none of us is a monarch or at least it’s unlikely that one is reading my blog, how does this relate to you?

We all have dominion over certain things. The territory that you own is your comfort zone. It could include anything from your job, relationship or any other manner of thing. Living within that space could be a completely fulfilling life. That’s not for me or anyone other than you to decide. The odd thing about humans is that comfort is antithetical to our survival. As a species, we tend to do poorly with too much comfort. Finding the right amount of pressure and progress is key to keeping us in balance.

This week, you need to go out and be a conquering queen or king. You don’t need to take over the world or even someone else’s territory. It is merely time to bump up against your edges and see if there is someplace new to discover. The reason to find those edges is because it isn’t new land, it’s new you. Finding your own limits is what life is about. Define it for you. Expanding yourself in the directions that matter most to you.

Go conquer you!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Right Now!

Pete Huryk

It’s 9:09pm! That’s similar to something that my teenage self wrote in every yearbook that I signed. The first page of our annual had the title to the popular Van Halen song at the top. As a wise-cracking teenager, I took the opportunity to point out only the time that I signed, not realizing that the moment for me to make a true mark was possibly passing me by. It’s part of being a teenager in so many ways. The desire for the next step while discounting the one that you are on in the moment. Most likely it is inherent to that time in life because a lack of experience and loss lends itself toward being frivolous without regret.

Right now! is a different time. The years have built up so much in the rearview mirror that I’ve been forced to know that 5 years in the future is tomorrow. So grasping onto the moment is a skill that needs to be developed. A white knuckle grip on the things that really matter becomes the order of the day. Like catching river water with your bare hands, it’s futile to expect that you’re going to be able to hang onto anything but enjoying the feeling as it flows past is probably the point. I’m definitely not very skilled at it. Often I lose myself in the trivial but also try to make the mundane magical. None of this is a superpower or cause for special attention. It is merely the state of being an older human who has made the realization.

The realization is that RIGHT NOW is all that you get. There is nothing else. Your past is an accumulation of old right nows that you’ve distorted. While the future is an infinite field of possible right nows that won’t turn into anything until the moment that you get there. So do what you can with it because you’re not going to get another one just like this. Even if your days seem like they are repeat, that’s your opportunity to pull yourself back into the moment. It’s all you get.

What are you waiting for?

Pete

RIGHT NOW!

Don’t want to wait ’til tomorrow
Why put it off another day?
One more walk through problems
Built-up and stands in our way, ahOne step ahead, one step behind me
Now you gotta run to get even
Make future plans or dream about yesterday, hey
C’mon turn, turn this thing around, hey
It’s your tomorrow
(Right now),
C’mon, it’s everything
(Right now),
Catch a magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everythingMiss the beat, you lose the rhythm
And nothing falls into place, no
Only missed by a fraction
Slipped a little off your pace, ohThe more things you get, the more you want
Just trade in one for the other
Workin’ so hard, to make it easier, whoa
Got to turn, c’mon turn this thing around, hey
It’s your tomorrow
(Right now)
C’mon, it’s everything
(Right now)
Catch that magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything
It’s enlightened me, right now
What are you waitin’ for?
Oh, yeah, right now, hey
It’s your tomorrow
(Right now)
C’mon, it’s everything
(Right now)
Catch that magic moment, and do it right, right now
Oh, right now
It’s what’s happening
Right here and now
Right now
It’s right now
Oh
Tell me, what are you waiting for?
Turn this thing around