Blogpost, self-reliance

Flip the Script on Valentine’s Day

It’s a sore subject! I get it! For many people, Valentine’s Day is the absolute WORST! A reminder from seemingly all of the world about an unwanted status or a commercialism that seems to come with everything nowadays. If you’re steadfast in your hatred of February 14th, have at it! All of your complaints and thoughts about the quasi-holiday are completely accurate! My hope here is not to convince the unconvinceable (real word?). It is merely to offer an alternative to those people who encounter flowers, candy or hearts and automatically SEE RED!

Imagine if there was an International Water Day (actually there is! It’s March 22nd). A day that was intended to celebrate water and how wonderful it is. People going into pools, playing in fountains, drinking that clear sparkly stuff to their heart’s content. The people without any water whatsoever would have every right to get pissed about their lack as others splurge. However I have no doubt that some company named after an Eastern European Country and a season would create commemorative bottles or something to make a few extra bucks off of the holiday. People who didn’t get their “extra special” Water Day present would feel like they had missed out on something. Even if they had plenty of “normal” water to quench their thirst. Somehow the regular water doesn’t seem special enough (hey wait, we’ve kind of done this anyway). You see my point though. It’s not a real lack! It’s a manufactured lack or a perceived lack. At bare minimum that thirsty person on water day can most likely count on the fact that they’ll find themselves quenched at some point soon.

Just like water, love is a human need. We don’t need it on the same level or consistency as water but nonetheless, it’s there. Unlike water, love is something that we can create on our own without digging a hole or waiting for a storm. It’s a moment away from us and the most important person to give that to is yourself. Obviously, many of us have been sold on that “extra special” version of love that Valentine’s Day is supposed to represent. The fact that you thirst for it is a good thing! Even if you don’t have it at the moment, doesn’t mean that you won’t. This day is not life thumbing its nose at you. As it is said in one of my favorite movies “Love Actually is all around.” Whether you have someone “special” in your life or not, there’s plenty of love to go around.

You’re pretty awesome regardless of your relationship status!


Blogpost, self-reliance

Secret Admirers

IMG_3202It’s Valentine’s Day!  One of my most memorable Valentine’s Days was in my sophomore year of high school.  At the time, I was single but not completely happy about that situation.  So it came as a huge but welcome surprise that I received two red carnations in homeroom.  The card didn’t say who they were from.  It just said, “Someone loves you!”  The rest of that day, I spent trying to figure out who could have sent them.  I’ll fully admit that I had a slight strut to my step throughout school.  My hope was that my secret admirer would reveal herself by the end of the day.  Unfortunately she did not.

So I went home and later that evening my mom asked me, “Did you get the flowers that I sent you?”  I was crestfallen to say the least.  I remember getting on my mom’s case about sending red carnations rather than pink or white.  But in all honesty it should not have mattered.  At the time I didn’t have the confidence or worldview to realize what I know now.  So if you’re one of those people lamenting “Singles Recognition Day”, take some time to consider my perspective.

If you are interested in eventually being in a relationship, recognize that you have a secret admirer someplace.  Perhaps you actually have someone that’s interested in you that you just don’t know about their feelings.  I know that I’ve found out after the fact several times.  Or there is someone out there who is looking for someone like you and they just haven’t found you yet.  And the final but toughest one to face is that perhaps you’re not a good enough version of yourself yet to attract that person you want.  THAT’S HARSH!  But may be completely accurate.

I went to high school with my wife and we did not date until after graduating college.  This was probably the best thing that could have happened.  If we had dated in high school, I doubt we would have ended up together.  I had to become a much better caliber of person in those years, so that I could attract someone like my wife.  My hope, in high school, was that someone was secretly watching and thought I was great.  In reality, I needed to work on being great so that someone great would be watching.

So if you’re not there yet and you’re lamenting your single life, write yourself a letter.  Write down a description of your ideal person.  Describe them in every small detail that you can.  Then write down who you need to become in order to deserve a person like that.  Once you’ve written them both down, put the description of your ideal person in an envelope and seal it.  Write next year’s Valentine’s Day’s date on it.  Take the description of who you need to become someplace where you’ll read it regularly.  If you follow through with this, I’m sure that you’ll be happy with the results regardless if you’re single next year.

Someone loves you!