Blogpost

The Statue Equation

Most people remember the date, July 4th 1776.  It marked the day that the United States declared its independence from Great Britain.  A lesser known date is June 15th 1775 when George Washington was appointed Commander in Chief of the Continental Army.  It was at this time that George Washington signed his contract containing the “Statue Equation”.  If the quest for independence was successful, Washington was promised at least one statue in each major city, the eventual capital to be named for him and a monument within that future capital.  Since the colonial leadership had their eyes on expansion, he also negotiated an option for a future state to be named for him.  Hopefully at this point, you’ve recognized the ridiculousness of the prior three sentences.  They are completely untrue.

While I’m sure that Washington and others had some selfish reasons for fighting the Revolutionary War, I doubt that statues and monuments were among them.  The ideals of freedom and self determination were most likely more relevant than the fame that would come from victory.  It is a relatively simple equation that in the past we revered those who acted with a higher purpose than themselves.  Today people are revered simply because they are willing to make a spectacle of themselves in the media.

I do not believe that people are inherently foolish but there is a “shell game” that has been played on us or we’ve played on ourselves.  Fame used to be a byproduct of being exceptional at something.  The desired result was being exceptional in a particular area, now the desired result is being famous.  Getting on TV or one million likes on Facebook or Youtube.  When do we stop fooling ourselves that this is what life is truly about?

The key component to being a human being is acting in the interest of a cause bigger than yourself.  Acting in the interest of making yourself bigger than other seems to only make people smaller.

Blogpost

What Language Are You Speaking?

Languages are essentially agreements.  At the moment, you and I are working under the English agreement.  We both agree that you are using “eyes” to read this post and the thing that processes your thoughts about it is called a “brain”.  As my day job, I try to get young people to accept the Spanish agreement.  Over the years that I have explained this concept, I was aware that there are many variations underneath each agreement.  There is American English and Australian English but in essence they are close enough to allow communication to flow.  Today I had a thought that I may have sold the idea of variations a little bit short.

The problem with the language agreement is the same as with most contracts: the fine print.  As I was driving home, I began thinking.  If language is an agreement, why do we disagree so often?  One of the issues is that I am not exactly writing English here.   I’m writing American 39 year old moderately educated Northwest New Jersey English.  I could probably lump a few more descriptors on there but you get the point.  Does this mean that we can’t understand each other?  No, that’s not necessarily true.   The key is to recognize what language you’re really speaking and the language of the other person.

This simple shift can make your communications better with the most important people in your life.  For example, silence can mean something very different in the female language than the male.  It can also change person to person.  The key is to work to understand the other person’s language rather than assuming that your languages are compatible.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Stop Believing!

StopOur beliefs are extremely important tools that we use to form who we are and who we can be.  Although the title of this blog may seem negative, it is intended to have a positive outcome.  It is intended to add some inner dialogue that will help you to achieve a goal, create something, improve something, change a habit or any other endeavor that is difficult.

Stop believing that it will be easy!

Stop believing that anyone will do it for you!

Stop believing that it’s too big for you to pull off!

Stop believing that “You Suck” voice inside your head!

Stop believing that you need to wait for the time to be right!

Stop believing that you’re too tired!

Stop believing that people will laugh at you!

Stop believing that anyone is going to help you more than you help yourself!

Stop believing that there are too many obstacles!

Stop believing that your past failures matter enough to stop you from trying again!

Stop believing that there’s nothing you can do!

Start believing in you, in possibility, in the future!

Start today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, Uncategorized

The Fearometer

NormandyFear, one of our most basic emotional states, has served us through the millennia to keep us alive.  Few of us are in daily peril from the elements or predators anymore.  So our fear mechanism has little real cause for use.  So we sometimes indulge the fear mechanism in very benign circumstances.  Although emotions are not perfectly quantifiable, I would suggest that we take some time to truly assess our fears and their intensity.  Where would most of our fears of today rate on the Fearometer?

Fears are very personal.  However when I think through history and all of the possible situations that could cause a fear level of TEN, being a soldier on a boat about to storm the beach of Normandy is always at the top of the list.  Waiting for a door to open to almost certain death is something that I’m not sure that I could handle.  By comparison, my daily fears seem extremely small and petty.

So where do your fears rank?  Is talking to that special person and asking them out really a TEN?  Or is it a FIVE that you’ve turned into a TEN?  Since most of our fears are societal and not natural, inflation is something that is bound to happen.  We make things bigger and scarier in order to protect ourselves.  But from what?  A moment of discomfort?  The truth?  In the end you need to decide if your Fearometer is working well for you or is it paralyzing you?

Regret is momentary pain that you have chosen to make permanent.

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

Winning vs. Leading

DaxGoalAs a teacher of language, I often find fault with the English language.  It falls short in many ways.  It breaks its own rules.  Pronunciation is ambiguous and changes happen all the time.  Probably my biggest gripe with English is that many of the things we say are either misleading or cause us to look at things in a way that does not serve us.

One instance of this vocabulary problem is from my position as a coach.  The phrase “we’re winning” needs to go.  It is something that I know I’ve said before because it’s what prompted me to write this post.  Winning is worthless until you have won.  Even worse is realizing that you’re winning causes a sense of comfort and a change in attitude toward the game.

Until you’ve won, you’re leading.  Leading does not imply a result but rather a process.  Leading means that you’re ahead of the opponent but they are still there.  Leading is something that can be taken away if you let it.  Leading is difficult and a struggle.  It takes effort and focus to lead until the end but if you want to win, it’s what you have to do.

Don’t let the word trick you.  You’re not winning or losing.  Either you’re leading or you’re trailing!

Don’t stop until you’ve won!

Pete