Tag: self awareness

Blogpost, self-reliance

The V.O.C.

Pete Huryk

VocIn today’s high-speed world, people use acronyms more often than ever before.  In the past people hoped to be the MVP, a VIP or the CEO.    Now we are saying IDK, LOL, BRB and other things that I don’t even feel comfortable writing in acronym form.  Today I’ve decided to coin my own acronym.  It applies to many people and even applies to me at times.  Rather than being a VIP, we seem intent upon being the V.O.C.

The VOC is the Victim Of Circumstance.  It’s a really tough place to live.  Circumstances keep piling up on these individuals that they don’t like.  The world has thrust all of this upon them.  They don’t like their job, school, boyfriend/girlfriend, lack of popularity, lack of influence or prospects for the future.  These people have it, THE WORST EVER!.  Go ahead and try to tell them about a bad situation in your life and they can find one from theirs that is ten times worse.  The worst thing in most cases about being a member of the VOC club is that you have to choose to be a member!

That is one heck of a choice to make.  There are many things in this world that we should choose to be, a victim should not be one of them.  The problem with being a victim is the lack of power.  It is by nature a position of weakness and defense.  At some point the VOC decided that it was better to be weak, defensive and blameless rather than taking responsibility for themselves.  This is a dangerous bargain to make because eventually it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When you are wearing brown tinted glasses, everything in the world looks like feces.

So rather than being the VOC, become the DOC.  The Director Of Circumstances is not completely in control of circumstance but acts more like a traffic cop.  The DOC decides what he or she will let pass and what needs to be stopped and evaluated further.  The traffic cop is separate from the traffic.  They may cause it, they may alleviate it but they are not the traffic.  Ultimately, they can usually move to a different intersection if their position becomes too much to handle.  It is a game of choice.

Direct your life today!  Don’t be a victim within it!

Pete

 

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Ketchup Sandwiches!

Pete Huryk

Ketchup SandwichWhen I was a kid, I was an extremely picky eater.  For an extended period of time, the one food that I would make for myself was ketchup sandwiches.  It really needs no explanation but just in case, it is simply two pieces of bread with ketchup in the middle.  (Do not judge my mother, I did this mainly at her protest or without her knowledge.)

Ketchup is intended to be a condiment.  Something that is a taste enhancer.  It should not have been a staple of anyone’s diet.  However I made it a center of my diet between my sandwiches and drowning things so completely in ketchup that I was often asked, “do you want fries with your ketchup?”  Luckily this was just a phase and eventually I found a lot more foods to fill my plate.  It’s an easy thing to explain away in these terms.  A young boy, who is afraid to try new foods, relies heavily on something that is safe but nutritionally empty to make it through.

This concept becomes more difficult to explain when we look at ourselves.  We’re not little kids anymore yet we cling heavily to things of little or no value.  In small doses, things like junk food, television, alcohol, etc. are not life altering forces.  However when those “condiments” become staples of your life’s diet, it is hard to say whether you are truly living or if you are just alive.

I’m looking in the mirror here.  Have a great weekend people!

Pete

 

 

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Scumbag and Tragedy Report

Pete Huryk

100_9372My son’s first birthday party is a memory that I will never forget.  The unfortunate thing is that the reason that particular birthday sticks in my memory is not the cake, the presents or the joy of my wonderful little boy celebrating his first year on this planet.  It is memorable because of what happened the next day.  The next day a student at Virginia Tech killed 32 people and wounded 17 others.  The two events are forever coupled in my mind and at the time shook the very foundation of who I am as a person.

In the aftermath of the shootings, there were several practical things that needed to be done.  I was teaching at school less than two hours from VA Tech.  We instituted protocols for locking down the campus and dealt with the grief of students.  There was a lingering problem that I had trouble reconciling.  I had an extreme amount of guilt for bringing a child into a world that was capable of such evil.  After celebrating the life of one of the people that I love the most, this act of evil made me question what I had done.  The tragedy in Charleston is the latest reminder that the evil of man is still here.  My heart goes out to the people who have lost someone in these senseless acts.  The victims, their families and friends are the only ones that matter now.  I know they are hurting much worse than I was over eight years ago but I have hope for them and us.  For my own part, I was able to pull myself out of the pit of despair that I had created for myself.  There were two words that brought me out: focus and hope.

By focusing on the evil of the world, I had made it my reality.  It is an easy thing to do at times because the media shows us regularly what horrible people can do.  This is not particularly their fault because we pay more attention to tragedy and they are giving us what “gets the ratings”.  However I choose to focus on other things now.  I see joy in my daughter’s eyes for big events like “field day”.  My eyes turn to Mrs. Lobby, the kindergarten teacher, who pours her heart and soul into little minds every day.  You’ll never see those things on the “scumbag and tragedy” report in the evening but they still exist and that is the world that I live in.

My other word is hope.  I have hope and confidence that the good in people will spread and win.  It is my influence on my children and the other people that I have contact with that I can affect the future.  I am a small drop in a large ocean but I hope that my small ripple combine with those of others can create a tidal wave of good that reaches around the world.  We must find the good in each other and expose that to the rest of the world.

As my final thought, I’d like for you to imagine two pitchers and a large bucket.  In one pitcher is red colored water and in the other there is blue.  If you only pour red into the bucket, the bucket water will be all red.  If you pour equal of both, you get purple.  The water has no choice what color it is.  However we have a choice what we put out into the world.  If you want the world to be greedy, selfish, hateful and driven by negative thoughts and emotion, then put those out there.  Recognize that you have a choice.  I don’t have rose colored glasses on and I’m not going to break into a verse of “kumbaya”.  The only thing that I want you to realize is that you have a choice.  The world is not inherently evil nor is it inherently good.  People have choices.

Be good to one another.

Pete

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The Pepsi Challenge

Pete Huryk

pepsiLast century (specifically in the 1980s) Pepsi had commercials and other advertising with the “Pepsi Challenge”.  An “unbiased” consumer was asked to try two different colas and give their preference.  Of course the on-camera participants always chose Pepsi.  Perhaps it was what they truly liked or the entire thing was rigged in some way.  In all honesty it doesn’t matter that much to me because I preferred Pepsi to Coke without the seeing choices of others.  It does make for an interesting discussion on why we choose the things that we do.

In a given day, you have literally thousands and possibly millions of choices to make.  Some of these choices are simple and probably automatic.  For example “Am I going to wear clothes today?”  No matter whether the answer is yes or no, it is an easy choice based on your daily life.  Other choices are much more complex and require major deliberation.  Choosing to go to college or the military is life-altering and for many would demand some time and attention.  In the middle of the automatic and grandiose decisions are many moment to moment choices that need to be made by you.  There are many people who treat these mid-level choices as though they were huge.  Others put all of their choices on automatic pilot letting others decide for them.  The worst scenario is that people forget that they are choosing at all.

In each moment, you have choices and some of the most important are about how you are going to feel.  Believe it or not, it is a choice.  If you are feeling sad, it is a choice.  Perhaps there are very good reasons for you to choose that but it is your choice.  By taking the physical state of your body, your mental focus of the moment and your inner dialogue, you determined the feeling that you were going to produce.

So now I put a new “Pepsi Challenge” on to you.  Let’s call it the “Huryk Challenge”.  Can you choose to feel good in all circumstances today?  No matter what life throws at you, can you CHOOSE to feel good.  You do not need to like the circumstances but you choose your feeling despite the poor situation.  I challenge you.

Choose to have a great day!

Pete

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Full Throttle All the Time

Pete Huryk

BoltWe are not machines.  It seems as though we wish that we were at times.  However the human animal is not infallible and fatigues just like any other creature on earth.  If you look at the World Records for running events, there are a few truths that you can learn about humans.

World Records for varied differences.  Please check my math, it’s late and it might not be perfect.

100 meters – Usain Bolt – 9.58  (23.37 MPH) (2 min 34.14 sec per mile)

200 meters – Usain Bolt – 19.19 (23.31 MPH) (2 min 34.38 sec per mile)

1 mile – Hicham El Guerrouj – 3:43:13 (16.13 MPH)

5K (3.12 Miles) – Kenenisa Bekele – 12:37.35 (14.83 MPH) (4 min 02.74 sec per mile)

Marathon (26.2) – Dennis Kiprutto Kimetto – 2:02:57 (12.78 MPH) (4 min 41.68 sec per mile)

After all of those numbers, names and information, what is my point?  You need to know what race you’re running in order to determine “full throttle”.  Each of these amazing athletes ran their race as fast as they could for the distance that they had to cover.  Usain Bolt’s 100 meter record is amazing but his pace is completely unrealistic over a 26.2 mile race.  Dennis Kiprutto Kimetto’s pace for a marathon is astounding but if he ran a 100 meter at that pace, he’d be considered “slow”.  The key is to know the race that you are in and what “full throttle” means for that race.

This is applicable to many areas of real life.  For example intimate relationships.  If you are looking to get married, recognize that it is a marathon.  Expect that the pace is slow and steady in order for it to last for years.  High school relationships are usually over in a few months, so the sprinter’s pace of spending every moment together is natural.

So what kind of races are you in at the moment?  Recognize what “full throttle” means for each of those races.  Perhaps there’s a project that is a sprint, then sprint that project.  Maybe at the same time you need to take control of your health, which is a marathon (figuratively).  Then you need to marathon your health.

Regardless of which form of “full throttle” you are in, realize that you are human.  The expectation that you can maintain Usain Bolt speed for 26.2 miles is ridiculous.  Don’t set yourself up for failure with unrealistic expectations.  Recognize the race and go after it intelligently!

Go full throttle today!

Pete

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I’m a punk soccer nerd

Pete Huryk

breakfast clubHigh school is a tough time for many reasons.  It is a time when young people are looking to solidify their independence from their parents.  At the same time they create new relationships that tend to define those years in so many ways.  It is extremely cliche but generally you are the company that you keep.  That is why cliques and labels become so widespread in high school because it is easier to lump people in with a group rather than take each person as an individual.  With everyone looking to discover who they are, they are not all that interested in finding out who everyone else is.

Perhaps I was fortunate that I had absolutely no idea who I was in high school and became quite comfortable with that fact.  I played soccer and ran track, so despite being athletic I wasn’t considered a “jock”.  My best friends smoked and listened to punk, so they would be considered “burnouts”.  Fortunately I liked the music but didn’t wear the uniform or pick up the bad habits.  My other circle of friends included at least four guys in the top ten of our class.  I got decent grades and loved learning things but refused to join the National Honor Society.  The adjective “normal” was used to describe me once and I took major offense.  At the time, I was just hoping for a better label.

In the end I’m not sure who the labels help more.  Does the label give the outside world a quick grouping system that allows them to dismiss the different?  Or does it give the individual a sense of self because they at least know their classification within the social class structure?

No matter who it helps more, it definitely has more possibility to hurt the individual.  This may not be in the “bullying” sense but rather a surrendering of self.  At this vulnerable time of life and in a society of pre-scripted paths, young people are capable of following to the point of almost non-existence.  They become the persona rather than a person.  None of this is particularly new nor likely to change quickly but in a world of almost infinite choices shouldn’t we be getting closer to being able to choose ourselves?

Let me know what you think.  Click here.

Be you today people!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Beezy World

Pete Huryk

BeezyMy daughter is an amazing person especially for a six year old.  She is always coming up with entrepreneurial ventures and brilliantly off the wall ideas.  Her imagination is amazing and she has created her own world in many ways.  Most recently she has asked to have her room repainted to look like “Beezy World” (Beezy is my wife’s nickname for her).  The clouds are lower in Beezy World and the blue sky is on top.  She has also developed not just one but several languages for Beezy World including Beezy Spanish and Beezy Chinese.  It is pretty obvious that she carries this world with her on a daily basis.

Although the creation of a personal world may seem like a childish thing to do, we all do it on some level.  We all live in our own version of the world.  There are some constants and overlapping but in many ways, we carry our own world along with us.  In a very Obi-Wan sense, our world is dependent upon our point of view.  For some of us we are semi-passive and the world happens to us.  While for others of us, we are active.  The world is not what happens to us but rather our influence on our surroundings.  So the world is not as concrete as it may seem but is more the result of the ingredients that we add to it.

So the question becomes do you like the world that you carry around with you?  Is your Beezy World the one that you want painted in your room?  Or is it time to make a change?  Since you are the creator of this world, make it what you want it to be!

Carry on!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Next Layer of Skin

Pete Huryk

LifesaversStay with me on this one!  To a certain extent, I wish that each layer of my skin were a different color like a stack of Lifesavers in a rainbow progression.  Each layer would disappear over a set amount of time revealing the next color in the order.  Within a week or so, I would be red, orange, yellow, green, blue etc.  Beside the obvious reduction in racism, I think it would help get past a problem that I think many of us have.  We cannot see past ourselves.

We see ourselves as consistent beings and therefore we act and think consistently with that picture.  The truth is that we are always changing but those changes are so subtle that we do not perceive them.  So when we truly do need to change, we think that it will be difficult or that we are incapable of change.  At some point we need to recognize that we can be more than what we perceive that we are.

We need to be able to see the greatness that is on the horizon.  Our progress or lack of it is a decision.  Do we allow ourselves to see the person who is six layers of skin away?  Or do we accept the “Who I have been is who I will be.”  So the challenge is down to you.

Can you see the greatness inside of your own skin?  Are you willing to do the things necessary to dig for that person that hides underneath?  Or is your skin an imperceptible covering that gets washed down the drain of your shower along with your hopes and dreams?  If only we were multicolored and could say, “by the time I turn green I’m going to ______________!”  We are always shedding skin, so figure out what your ideal skin looks like and put it on underneath.

See the best you inside today.

Pete

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Tattoo Yourself

Pete Huryk

Burning boyI don’t have any tattoos anywhere on my body.  However I know exactly what I would get if I were to ever change my mind.  Since I was a teenager “the burning boy” is an image that I had set as my tattoo of choice.  It is from the album cover of one of my favorite bands, Bad Religion.  I would remove the “crossbuster” logo from the back of his shirt.

The reason that the burning boy resonates with me is that it represents a feeling that I always want to have.  It’s not the searing pain but rather the idea of being “on fire” with passion.  The things that I have been on fire about have changed throughout the years.  In high school it was soccer and girls.  In college it was soccer and travel.  In my adult life it has been soccer, my family and helping people.

So if I’ve known for years what tattoo I would get, why have I not gone through with it?  There are many people walking around with tattoos that did not put 20 years of thought into the “ink”.  There are two reasons that I have never gone to get this tattoo done.

The first is that I don’t want my wife to have to look at it.  I’m sure that I’ll get some comments about being whipped or something like that.  However I respect my wife very much and the ways that my decisions have an effect on her life.  I don’t have to look at myself very often.  She does, so I know it is something that would not improve me for her.

The second is even more important.  I’m already wearing it.  The reason I don’t need the ink on my skin is because it goes even deeper.  It penetrates into my bones and goes down into my heart.  Inside there is a burning boy that people see every day.  Perhaps people see a slightly different representation when they see me but the basic idea should be the same.  I want people to see the tattoo that I have put on myself.  Rather than paying an artist to put a skin deep impression on me to have people know who I am.  I need to show people through my actions and attitudes who I am.  I’ve tattooed myself as we all do.  Although the Chinese character that you’ve put on your arm may say “peace” or “serenity”, it’s not worth the price of the ink if that’s not the message you put into the world through your actions.

So tattoo yourself.  Put the ink of your daily actions out into the world for everyone to see.

Keep being you people!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

7 Words (you don’t know until you know)

Pete Huryk

7WordsAbout a year ago my son, Luke, and I went to a Red Bulls game.  He was eight years old at the time.  On the ride home we were listening to the music from my iPhone.  At one point, a song called “7 Words” by the Deftones came on.  I quickly switched the song because it is a hard and aggressive curse-laden song.  He asked why I changed it and I told him that the title of the song was 7 Words and that it had a lot of cursing in it.  He probed further about why it was called 7 Words.  I explained that there were seven major curse words that most people recognize as bad.

Much to my surprise Luke said that he thought he knew them all.  We seemed to be having a “man to man” discussion, so I gave him the green light to test his seven.  He started off two for two with the F and S.  Then he stumbled a bit with his next two selections.  There was another F in his seven, “frick”.  I informed him that it was actually a replacement for his other F.  Then he went to another S-word, “sex”.  Again I explained that sex was not a curse word which was unfortunately followed by the question “what is sex?”  I got instantaneously nervous that I was going to have to have “the talk” with an eight year old.  Luckily my explanation that sex was another word for gender or boys/girls seemed to appease him.

I was reminded of that incident several times today as I was speaking to the 8th graders of HMS.  It is extremely tough to know until you know.  That may seem like cryptic language but I’m being very literal.  Until you go through certain things for yourself it is difficult or even impossible to fully understand.  My goal was to give them some tools to work with and I hope that I did.  However there are things that you need to go through for yourself to understand like how to get over a broken heart or deal with the betrayal of a good friend.  We can put these things in the manual with instructions but they can’t particularly be taught.

Life has a series of missteps and pitfalls that we must go through.  We can avoid some through the help of others.  However some things we just need to experience for ourselves.  You don’t know what you don’t know until you know it.  You know?

Happy Birthday Luke!

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Pete