Tag: self awareness

Blogpost, self-reliance

Fewer Selfies, More Mirrors

Pete Huryk

MirrorAt the present moment, the “selfie” has become so common place that it is almost a requirement at any social function involving young people.  It is the photographic representation that “I was there”.  Although showing up is an important part of the equation, it has inexplicably become a standard of achievement rather than the bare minimum.  The problem with the selfie is that anyone can fake it for a fraction of a second.  There needs to be more to life than a collection of rehearsed faces and hand gestures.  We need to look in mirrors rather than practicing our poses.

The beauty of the mirror is that it does not lie.  Stand in front of a mirror for long enough and you’ll realize that your best friend and worst enemy are staring back at you.  In this duplicity you’ll find everything that you could possibly need to achieve your every desire.  You’ll also find most of the road blocks that will stand in your way.   The mirror is going to tell it like it is.  It won’t accept fake poses for very long.  Fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, average or anything else are all there for you to deal with.  As you begin to look at who you truly are in the mirror, you’ll recognize that showing up is not enough.  Faking it for an instant is not enough.  The world expects more!  Now you can either hide behind the mask of poses or accept the challenge to carry the mirror with you.

The mirror may reside in your head or in your heart but it can be with you always.  As you go through your day, you can look to see if you are being true to yourself.  Your best self!  Throughout the day checking to see if you’re going in the right direction to those places that you desire to go.  As you get closer, you’ll notice that the reflection in the mirror gets better and it’s easier to look.  When you finally reach your goal, I suppose you could take a selfie….  But the picture you have inside of who you’ve become is so much better.  So for today, don’t just show up!  Wake up, stand up and look in the mirror.  Then keep working until you’re ecstatic with what you see!

I see you!

Pete

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How Does a Scorpion Scratch Its Belly?

Pete Huryk

scorpionSometimes it’s easy to lose sight of the varied tools that we have at our disposal.  We become “one trick ponies” by choice rather than design.  Losing sight of more subtle talents can happen to anyone who has found success with their preferred tool.  When in possession of a great hammer, seeing everything as a nail comes almost naturally.  The problem lies in the fact that all tools are not constructive and some tools kill better than they build.

The scorpion question is rather absurd.  I doubt very heavily that scorpions are capable of itching.  Even if they were, using their stinger to do it would be both uncomfortable and possibly fatal.  With six legs in the vicinity, the scorpion would have to be pretty self-destructive to choose his stinger as his belly scratcher.  The unfortunate truth is that many of us do this anyway.  The lawyer who cross-examines his wife and children.  The athlete who tries to use his might in order to make right in his world.  The teacher who hopes that special someone will learn how to love them through their example.

We are all scorpions with legs and stingers.  The intelligent scorpion knows there’s a time to use each.  A less intelligent scorpion only uses its stinger because it is his best tool.  When you are scratching an itch, be sure that it does not become deadly because you don’t know how to choose the right tool.

Choose wisely!

Pete

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Delicious Poison Check Up

Pete Huryk

A week ago, I posed a challenge to give up two of your personal poisons.  Were you able to follow through?  Did you last an hour, a day, three days or the full week?  Regardless of the answer, what do you know about yourself now?

If you caved:

Did you do so because of a particular set of circumstances?

Did you fold to pressure from peers or family?

Did you do it unconsciously (without thinking)?

How did you react to your “failure”?

Did you rebound afterward?  Or did you succumb to more temptation because “eh, I already screwed up, why stop now?”

If you made it:

Can you keep it going?/Do you want to?

What positive effect did this subtraction have?

Was there any negative effect?

What other poison could you eliminate?

There are many ways to organize our world and one of those is Inputs and Outputs.  By making deliberate and conscious choices about the things, people and circumstances that we allow into our lives, we can lead ourselves to better outputs.  If we pay attention only to feeling good in the moment, then we are dopamine addicts who are slaves to every “shiny thing” that this world puts in front of us.  I’ve seen the maxim that “ignorance is bliss” hold in many situations.  So perhaps I am the foolish one for looking past the moment for something deeper.

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I’m Here For The Pizza

Pete Huryk

RookIt was my freshman year of high school.  I don’t recall why I was in the halls so late that day but there I was.  A friend from soccer saw me and asked me if I would play for the chess team in ten minutes.  One of their players was sick and they needed someone.  It was also the end of their season, so they were having a pizza party afterward.  My father had taught me enough about chess that I knew how the pieces moved and how to win/lose the game.  I agreed to play with the expectation being set that I was not very good.

My opponent didn’t know anything about my prior experience or lack thereof.  He was an intellectual type that gave thought to each of his moves and the meaning behind mine.  The truth was that my moves were haphazard at best and I was almost impatient with how long it took for him to beat me.  I was there for the pizza more than the chess.  In the end I did lose relatively quickly and easily because I put almost nothing into the game.

Over the years I’ve become a better chess player but I’m still nothing to write home about.  The reason why I bring up this memory is that it is representative of how many people go through life.  They are focused on specific things and take little notice of much else.  They give up on things that could be important if they just took time to notice.  Their focus on the least common denominator blinds them to the upper limits of what life has to offer.

This is probably not you.  You’re probably reaching for the heights of what you can be: physically, mentally and emotionally.  We can’t live at our best every single moment but to settle for the minimum offered seems absurd.  I’m not just here for the pizza anymore!

Go get it!  (whatever ‘it’ is for you)

Pete

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Hiding in Plain Sight

Pete Huryk

WaterTowerI’ll admit it openly that I have fallen off of the exercise wagon this summer.  Grandiose hopes of more time and fewer distractions turned into shut off alarms and Netflix watching.  Although there were spurts of activity, I have fallen short of my own standard for acceptability in both frequency and duration of exercise.  Today I began the climb out of that hole.

After completing my run and heading for the gym, I walked by this structure on the right.  I’m not really sure what it is.  It is on the site of an old fish hatchery.  So it might have held feed at one point or possibly it is a type of water tower.  Regardless of its function, I can pretty honestly say that I have never noticed it before.  Despite having many activities as a youth and an adult less than a hundred yards away, it was invisible to me.  If I had noticed it at a younger age, it might have been something that I would have climbed or pretended was a fort or bunker.  Now it is useless to me.

In many ways this experience mirrors that which happens to all of us at one point or another.  We discover things about ourselves which were in plain sight for most people to see.  However we become so accustomed to ourselves that we don’t notice.  We don’t notice that we can be confident, intelligent, funny or courageous until that trait is covered with rust and overgrowth.  It seems useless to us because it would take so much effort to change it, repair it and use it.  It is not too late.

The rust and neglect of the past cannot compare with the continuous action of now.  The picture that you have of yourself may be old and only representative of your past.  Much like when we look at our yearbooks, it is easy to see that we are no longer the same.  We are always evolving into new people.  That evolution can come about by chance or by choice.  So as you look at yourself today, find those things that are hiding in plain sight.  Find your passion, your strength, your courage and charisma.  It is waiting for you to pull away the leaves and polish off the rust.  The same old you is always available if that’s who you want to be.

Enjoy the weekend!

Pete

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Paranoid and the Self-Righteous

Pete Huryk

paranoid“Finished with my woman ’cause she couldn’t help me with my mind.  People think I’m insane ’cause I am frowning all the time.”  Those lines don’t even need the backing of guitars or drums to churn a feeling of very raw emotion in my stomach.  “Paranoid” by Ozzy Osbourne/Black Sabbath was the preferred soundtrack of my pre-high school years.  Despite its melancholy and borderline hopeless lyrics, it always seemed to be able to put me into a frenzy that required action of some kind.  My music selection at the time came as a surprise to many especially my middle school French teacher, Madame Gowie.

Although I’m not quite sure where my ability for languages came from, I was able to display talent even in middle school.  Nothing says “cool” in middle school better than being good in French class!  Unfortunately I was slightly unaware of what it took to be cool and became one of Madame Gowie’s favorites with the French name of “Pierre Paul” to boot.  The first time when I truly disappointed the good Madame was when I brought in a picture of someone famous for description.  My magazine picture of Ozzy Osbourne left her in a state of disgust.  Her thoughts about Mr. John Michael Osbourne were not positive in the slightest and it possibly changed her thoughts about me.  For my own part, I had a much stronger positive feeling toward Mr. Osbourne and the effect he had on my life.  So I took up the more normal disposition and disliked French class with my peers.

It was almost too easy for Madame Gowie and others to dislike Ozzy Osbourne.  He sang loud music that they disliked.  His song “Suicide Solution” had been under scrutiny in a court case where a family alleged that the song caused their son’s suicide.  He bit the heads off of bats and doves, what was there to like?

I’m not trying to portray Ozzy Osbourne as my hero by any stretch of the imagination.  My point is that for many people, his “evil” became a way for them to feel more righteous.  It is all too common of a practice today that we mask our own weakness and shortcoming by focusing on those who are worse than us.  If we are fat, we find the obese or our heavier past to feel good.  Do not look to the evil of others to find your righteousness.  You should be able to have a sense of pride in who you are and what you do without the disclaimer of comparing yourself to another.  It is a shell game that you can’t ever win.  “I can’t see the things that lead to happiness, I must be blind.”  There should be a level of autonomy to who you are and how you feel about yourself.  By comparing yourself to others too often, you are either inflating or deflating that which is unique and special about you.

“I tell you to enjoy life….” forget the rest.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The V.O.C.

Pete Huryk

VocIn today’s high-speed world, people use acronyms more often than ever before.  In the past people hoped to be the MVP, a VIP or the CEO.    Now we are saying IDK, LOL, BRB and other things that I don’t even feel comfortable writing in acronym form.  Today I’ve decided to coin my own acronym.  It applies to many people and even applies to me at times.  Rather than being a VIP, we seem intent upon being the V.O.C.

The VOC is the Victim Of Circumstance.  It’s a really tough place to live.  Circumstances keep piling up on these individuals that they don’t like.  The world has thrust all of this upon them.  They don’t like their job, school, boyfriend/girlfriend, lack of popularity, lack of influence or prospects for the future.  These people have it, THE WORST EVER!.  Go ahead and try to tell them about a bad situation in your life and they can find one from theirs that is ten times worse.  The worst thing in most cases about being a member of the VOC club is that you have to choose to be a member!

That is one heck of a choice to make.  There are many things in this world that we should choose to be, a victim should not be one of them.  The problem with being a victim is the lack of power.  It is by nature a position of weakness and defense.  At some point the VOC decided that it was better to be weak, defensive and blameless rather than taking responsibility for themselves.  This is a dangerous bargain to make because eventually it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When you are wearing brown tinted glasses, everything in the world looks like feces.

So rather than being the VOC, become the DOC.  The Director Of Circumstances is not completely in control of circumstance but acts more like a traffic cop.  The DOC decides what he or she will let pass and what needs to be stopped and evaluated further.  The traffic cop is separate from the traffic.  They may cause it, they may alleviate it but they are not the traffic.  Ultimately, they can usually move to a different intersection if their position becomes too much to handle.  It is a game of choice.

Direct your life today!  Don’t be a victim within it!

Pete

 

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Ketchup Sandwiches!

Pete Huryk

Ketchup SandwichWhen I was a kid, I was an extremely picky eater.  For an extended period of time, the one food that I would make for myself was ketchup sandwiches.  It really needs no explanation but just in case, it is simply two pieces of bread with ketchup in the middle.  (Do not judge my mother, I did this mainly at her protest or without her knowledge.)

Ketchup is intended to be a condiment.  Something that is a taste enhancer.  It should not have been a staple of anyone’s diet.  However I made it a center of my diet between my sandwiches and drowning things so completely in ketchup that I was often asked, “do you want fries with your ketchup?”  Luckily this was just a phase and eventually I found a lot more foods to fill my plate.  It’s an easy thing to explain away in these terms.  A young boy, who is afraid to try new foods, relies heavily on something that is safe but nutritionally empty to make it through.

This concept becomes more difficult to explain when we look at ourselves.  We’re not little kids anymore yet we cling heavily to things of little or no value.  In small doses, things like junk food, television, alcohol, etc. are not life altering forces.  However when those “condiments” become staples of your life’s diet, it is hard to say whether you are truly living or if you are just alive.

I’m looking in the mirror here.  Have a great weekend people!

Pete

 

 

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Scumbag and Tragedy Report

Pete Huryk

100_9372My son’s first birthday party is a memory that I will never forget.  The unfortunate thing is that the reason that particular birthday sticks in my memory is not the cake, the presents or the joy of my wonderful little boy celebrating his first year on this planet.  It is memorable because of what happened the next day.  The next day a student at Virginia Tech killed 32 people and wounded 17 others.  The two events are forever coupled in my mind and at the time shook the very foundation of who I am as a person.

In the aftermath of the shootings, there were several practical things that needed to be done.  I was teaching at school less than two hours from VA Tech.  We instituted protocols for locking down the campus and dealt with the grief of students.  There was a lingering problem that I had trouble reconciling.  I had an extreme amount of guilt for bringing a child into a world that was capable of such evil.  After celebrating the life of one of the people that I love the most, this act of evil made me question what I had done.  The tragedy in Charleston is the latest reminder that the evil of man is still here.  My heart goes out to the people who have lost someone in these senseless acts.  The victims, their families and friends are the only ones that matter now.  I know they are hurting much worse than I was over eight years ago but I have hope for them and us.  For my own part, I was able to pull myself out of the pit of despair that I had created for myself.  There were two words that brought me out: focus and hope.

By focusing on the evil of the world, I had made it my reality.  It is an easy thing to do at times because the media shows us regularly what horrible people can do.  This is not particularly their fault because we pay more attention to tragedy and they are giving us what “gets the ratings”.  However I choose to focus on other things now.  I see joy in my daughter’s eyes for big events like “field day”.  My eyes turn to Mrs. Lobby, the kindergarten teacher, who pours her heart and soul into little minds every day.  You’ll never see those things on the “scumbag and tragedy” report in the evening but they still exist and that is the world that I live in.

My other word is hope.  I have hope and confidence that the good in people will spread and win.  It is my influence on my children and the other people that I have contact with that I can affect the future.  I am a small drop in a large ocean but I hope that my small ripple combine with those of others can create a tidal wave of good that reaches around the world.  We must find the good in each other and expose that to the rest of the world.

As my final thought, I’d like for you to imagine two pitchers and a large bucket.  In one pitcher is red colored water and in the other there is blue.  If you only pour red into the bucket, the bucket water will be all red.  If you pour equal of both, you get purple.  The water has no choice what color it is.  However we have a choice what we put out into the world.  If you want the world to be greedy, selfish, hateful and driven by negative thoughts and emotion, then put those out there.  Recognize that you have a choice.  I don’t have rose colored glasses on and I’m not going to break into a verse of “kumbaya”.  The only thing that I want you to realize is that you have a choice.  The world is not inherently evil nor is it inherently good.  People have choices.

Be good to one another.

Pete

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The Pepsi Challenge

Pete Huryk

pepsiLast century (specifically in the 1980s) Pepsi had commercials and other advertising with the “Pepsi Challenge”.  An “unbiased” consumer was asked to try two different colas and give their preference.  Of course the on-camera participants always chose Pepsi.  Perhaps it was what they truly liked or the entire thing was rigged in some way.  In all honesty it doesn’t matter that much to me because I preferred Pepsi to Coke without the seeing choices of others.  It does make for an interesting discussion on why we choose the things that we do.

In a given day, you have literally thousands and possibly millions of choices to make.  Some of these choices are simple and probably automatic.  For example “Am I going to wear clothes today?”  No matter whether the answer is yes or no, it is an easy choice based on your daily life.  Other choices are much more complex and require major deliberation.  Choosing to go to college or the military is life-altering and for many would demand some time and attention.  In the middle of the automatic and grandiose decisions are many moment to moment choices that need to be made by you.  There are many people who treat these mid-level choices as though they were huge.  Others put all of their choices on automatic pilot letting others decide for them.  The worst scenario is that people forget that they are choosing at all.

In each moment, you have choices and some of the most important are about how you are going to feel.  Believe it or not, it is a choice.  If you are feeling sad, it is a choice.  Perhaps there are very good reasons for you to choose that but it is your choice.  By taking the physical state of your body, your mental focus of the moment and your inner dialogue, you determined the feeling that you were going to produce.

So now I put a new “Pepsi Challenge” on to you.  Let’s call it the “Huryk Challenge”.  Can you choose to feel good in all circumstances today?  No matter what life throws at you, can you CHOOSE to feel good.  You do not need to like the circumstances but you choose your feeling despite the poor situation.  I challenge you.

Choose to have a great day!

Pete