Tag: relationships

Blogpost, posh, SoccerLifeBalance

POSH Pilgrimage 2024

Pete Huryk
An article from the Telegraph before the annoying pop up ads.

It took a little while to find the time to write up a post about my trip to England but here it is! The POSH Pilgrimage 2024 was a much longer and more involved trip but it created some great memories for my son and I before he left for college! Our love of football (soccer) has been one of the biggest parts of our relationship. We did as many things football as we could throughout our time there. Since his birth, I’ve been trying to convert him into a POSH fan. This trip was at least another partial attempt but I’m not sure if it worked.

The timetable of the trip was set for months due to our flights but the fixture list held us hostage for a while. Huddersfield at home was a great draw from a location perspective although the competition was going to be difficult. We arrived in Peterborough the day before the match. The city has changed a lot since my last visit. My affection for the club bleeds over into the city. So it’s interesting to return after a few years and see what growth has happened.

POSH vs Huddersfield– On match day, I got the opportunity to meet former Yellow Block personality Matthew Kisby. We met for a pint at Charters with my son and I drinking our first beer in England together. The prematch gathering was much better this time around. Last trip we went to Ebenezer’s which was a really cool place but a bit off the beaten path. London Road is still London Road regardless of what name gets slapped onto the outside. With this being my third trip, I know what it is and what it is not. The LRE keeps the noise of the fans in and it’s not the best ground in the country. However, it is the home the team that I support. So, I love it regardless!

The match was about what I could have expected. On my first trip, I saw the POSH dismantle MK Dons. Last trip we tied Sunderland on a last gasp goal. I was destined to see a loss at some point and I got it this go around. There was just that cutting edge missing to the attack but I knew that coming into the match. This season was going to be a project and I saw the beginning stages. Not disheartened in the slightest.

On Sunday, I got the opportunity to go to the training facility to watch the U18s and U16s play. It was great to see young players trying to apply the same principles as the first team. Just going to the facility was enjoyable for me because I remember the stories of players changing in their cars when they practiced at a park. The club has come a long way in the last twenty years. Despite my desire to stay and just watch as many training sessions and youth games as I could, the trip was about us seeing as much football as possible.

Sheffield Wednesday vs Plymouth– I know… I know… Sheffield Wednesday… I’m supposed to hate them due to the loss but I needed to be practical. It was the only match that worked for our schedule. I’d never been to Sheffield before despite being a fan of Def Leppard.

The time crunch between our train, to the hotel, to the match was an obstacle but we made it. The walk from the hotel to the match among Wednesday and Plymouth fan was enjoyable. Little bits of banter back and forth but nothing of concern. The ground itself was a definitive step up from London Road. Obviously, the history, fanbases, and financial backing are very different. So, it’s not a slight just a reality. The match itself was enjoyable for a neutral. Wednesday was dominant and it made for a really good atmosphere.

POSH vs Oxford United – The next stop on the pilgrimage was in Oxford. Great city to explore! The university and the other sites in the area made the visit worth it even before the match. I wish that we’d had more time to spend there but since it was a total unknown prior to our visit, I only had us there for the day before and match day.

I feel sorry for the fans of Oxford as their stadium stinks. Literally! The facility itself was fine but the odor was pretty overwhelming. This match played out much like the first. The faint continuous cheer from the POSH fans who traveled summed up the match well. Not everyone seemed ready to sign from the same song sheet. Hayes looked extremely lively but POSH couldn’t find the net and handed the result over to Oxford through mistakes. Winning my son over as a POSH fan was not working out well. Two defeats in two matches was less than ideal. It was time to move on to London for a couple days of football sightseeing.

Chaos in the Capital – The trip from Oxford to London was one of many where a train cancelation had us standing in the hall near the toilet for the trip. Arriving in London, we took the Underground and a bit of a walk to our hotel. It was one of those places tucked into a neighborhood. Upon our arrival, there was a note on the door stating that the hotel was closed down temporarily. This was a huge surprise but I sprang into problem solving mode quickly. I found a room at the Chelsea Cloisters building. It was reasonably priced and didn’t look like a bad option online. BUYER BEWARE!!! Upon our arrival at our room, I knew it wasn’t going to work and tried to either change rooms or get a refund on the room that I had been in for 5 minutes. The letting office were very nice but had no options or refund available for me.

So Luke and I went on a walk to get out of the funk that the situation had put us in. We visited Stamford Bridge’s store to pick something up for a friend who is a fan. While walking around the ground, I decided to look up the price for the hotel attached to Stamford Bridge, The Millenium and Copthorne Hotel. IT WAS ALMOST THE SAME PRICE AS THE VERY DISAPPOINTING CHELSEA CLOISTERS!!! On my phone, I made a reservation and despite paying for a hotel that I never stayed in, I was extremely happy with how things turned out. I’m not a Chelsea fan. I don’t dislike them at a Man City level but I am happy to sing the praises of their hotel. It was the best place that we stayed at our entire trip!

Since there were no matches in the later part of the week, we did stadium tours. Our tour of Hotspur Stadium was eaten up by our hotel fiasco. Now that we were housed at Stamford Bridge, doing a stadium tour only made sense. We also ventured to Craven Cottage which was my favorite stadium that we visited. From its location on the river to the historic aspects of the ground, it just has a character all its own. The construction of the new hotel makes the place a work in progress but I’m hopeful that I’ll get the chance to visit when it is all done.

This photo is taken from our seats. AMAZING!

Everton vs Brighton – For Luke, the main attraction for the trip was going to the Everton match. Acquiring tickets was a bit more difficult this time around. For our last trip, I had bought tickets through the Everton USA supporters group. Unfortunately the club changed that process and the group was no longer able to purchase tickets for American fans. Luckily, a supporter who is a season ticket holder saw my post about my trip and offered to sell me his two seats for the Brighton match. It was probably the most stressful part of the trip for me because up until we were in Oxford, I wasn’t sure if they were going to come through. Not only were the tickets transferred, they were amazing seats! I won’t list his name here but I am so thankful that he made this part of the trip a joy for Luke. He was literally “over the moon” with where we were sitting. The performance by Everton…. left a decent amount to be desired but since we had seen them thrash ManU on the first trip, he took it in stride. Of course, the POSH won in Shrewsbury! Although I would have liked to have seen it, being with Luke for his last match in Goodison was worth it.

London to go home – Due to our great experience earlier in the week, I booked our last night in London at the hotel at Stamford Bridge. There was a match on that day which added a bit of atmosphere to the place. Luke begrudgingly went with me to the area of Richmond where Ted Lasso was filmed. Despite the several complaints that we were being “such tourists”, he took some photos of me in the area. I was mildly surprised how much of the area was used in the show. Even though it was a complete tourist trap, I still loved going there.

After another great trip (not in terms of results), the one thing that probably has stuck with me the most is what Luke said after the Brighton loss. He said that he “needed” a loss like that to really solidify his fandom. It’s easy to be a fan when everything is going your way. The more difficult thing is to stick around when everything isn’t.

Up the POSH!

Pete

Blogpost

Skippy Handelman Is Dead, Long Live Skippy

Pete Huryk

As a child of the 1980s, many of my thoughts are encased in characters from sitcoms and movies. I wish that I could say that William Shakespeare had a huge influence on my thought processes on love and loss but alas it is Family Ties, Cheers and Night Court. It’s not the worst thing but my references are not particularly known by the world. So you’ll have to indulge me a little as I explain.

Just to avoid any confusion, Marc Price, the actor who played Skippy is alive.

In the TV show, Family Ties, Irwin “Skippy” Handelman is the quirky neighbor to the featured family in the sitcom. The Keatons accept Skippy as an extension of their family because he is kind hearted, although slightly dimwitted by nature. While he is truly Alex’s friend (Michael J. Fox’s character), Skippy is possibly best known for having a huge crush on Mallory. His feelings for her are never reciprocated yet he presses on with little or no hope. Even his best friend, Alex, undermines other love interests that Skippy has. It has been a really long time since I’ve watched Family Ties. So this next part might be just what I want to believe. Eventually Skippy finds someone and Mallory recognizes her loss. That may not have actually happened in the show.

However there is a moment from Night Court that has stuck in my memory for years. The custodian, Art, brings Christine (Markie Post) to a function and it ends poorly. Eventually he puts it all on the line “I’d always treat you right. You would never want for anything.” Upon hearing those words, Christine gets upset. Art lets her off the hook though. It’s not Hamlet or Romeo and Juliet but it represents a part of the human condition. A man who would do anything for someone, sacrifices his own feelings for the other.

The role of the “nice guy” (or girl, this is not gender exclusive) is not an easy one to play. Decisions need to be made about what to do and there isn’t usually much wiggle room. The answer is the right thing. Sometimes that’s hard to swallow because the Skippy and Art characters of the world are not the stars. Their names are not on any marquis and they don’t usually get the girl in the end. So why do they do it? Because someone has to!

I don’t want to live in a world without the nice guy. Despite getting the distinction of “finishing last”, they tend to keep the world in balance. With self-less abandon, they go into every situation trying to do right by other people. This is not in a superhero kind of way, although Captain America could be characterized as a “nice guy”. Mostly this is done in simple ways through small actions that no one notices at first. That’s why I force myself to believe that Mallory has the recognition moment when Skippy has moved on. The nice guy tends to not get noticed until he’s gone.

My hope is that at some point, the nice guy gets his due. The Skippy characters of the world get a little bit more than a pat on the back. If you have one in your life, recognize it because they would quite literally do anything for you. That’s a great person to have around!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Finding The Path

Pete Huryk

For the most part, finding the right path is not usually overly difficult. The things that are wanted by most people exist along an at least partially known path. Six pack abs, financial security, emotional well-being, good relationships, etc. If most people are asked, they have a directional idea of how to get to these things. The problem is not finding or knowing the path, it’s following the path consistently.

It’s easier when it’s someone else! We see the problem, the solution and all of the steps along the path in between. But as soon as it is our own lives, we get tripped up. The path seems less obvious. There are all of these things in the way! Plus the electromagnetic pull of the way that we’ve always done things! What happened to the easy solutions that you saw for everyone else? They’re still there, just covered by a layer of our own “stuff”.

Some stuff is easier to ignore or brush away than other stuff. The path is independent of what’s covering it up. It leads where it leads. Your stuff is going to push you in directions that may not help you. This is not to diminish the difficulties that people face. Some people have an avalanche’s worth of stuff that may require a lot of digging but that doesn’t change the path. It’s there under all of that rubble. The decision simply comes down to getting to the destination or not. It’s simple but not easy!!!

“There’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path!” – Morpheus

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Mic Drop Moments

Pete Huryk

It’s a beautiful thought isn’t it? You do something that leaves people in awe and there’s nothing left to be said! The number of times that I’ve had that in life are few and far between. The one that inspired this post involved a cornhole set and two kids who had never played before. I walked up as they missed the plank repeatedly. I asked for a bean bag and put it in the hole first throw. Mic dropped!

Most of the time we don’t get that perfect moment of success. Instead we imagine that other mic drop, where the mic is fumbled out of hand and a pitiful form of the self crawls on the stage floor in front of thousands trying to regrasp it. This mic drop is probably less likely than the first. Our mistakes are magnified in our heads and we think that “everyone” is watching.

Both mic drop moments represent an extreme where we only live briefly, if at all. Most of the time, the microphone is meant to be in hand. It’s supposed to be a tool that turns the volume up on the voice that we have. Sometimes we’re repeating the golden oldies that have been our staple since grade school. Other times we’re trying out new material that might not work. Regardless, we’re an artist putting ourselves out there.

So keep hold of the mic and belt it out as best you can. The mic drop moments don’t matter as much as what you put out into the world. It’s the performance beforehand that created the opportunity for the drop anyway. So just keep going!

MC stands for Master of Ceremonies!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Lifetime Guarantee

Pete Huryk

There are so many different ways to look at this two word combination.

The “Lifetime Guarantee” is the girl and the guy who seem diametrically opposed at the beginning of the movie will end up together. It’s predictable and trite but satisfying to their base viewership.

The “Lifetime Guarantee” that many companies made is that the thing you bought will work as long as you own it. There’s usually a bunch of fine print that comes along with it. And for the most part, the seller is hoping that you’ll forget that they guaranteed anything. They want you to feel happy at the time of purchase and them to feel happy after that.

I’m not willing to make either of those guarantees. They both seem slightly dishonest. That’s what makes guarantees so tricky. There are so many variables in any situation that guaranteeing anything is akin to gambling. So I’m going to put the most blunt thing first and build out from there.

The first “Lifetime Guarantee” is that you’re going to die! Whoa! Dark… Morbid… Whatever! It’s a fact that we need to embrace to make moments matter. Infinite things have no value. So now that we’ve gotten that out of the way.

Life is going to have different times. That I can guarantee. There will be seasons to everyone’s life. Expecting today and tomorrow to be the same is foolhardy. While we can hope for good or better times, it’s usually on us to adjust our sails rather than expect favorable winds.

The time of your life may not take a lifetime to find. I cannot guarantee this. This is one of those variable situations. At some point in your life, you’re going to have the time of your life but you’re not going to know that because a better time could be on the horizon. So balancing optimistic search with recognition and gratitude is a skill that must be developed. If that day on the playground in first grade was as good as it’s going to get, then why bother? Great things need to be in front of us and we need to have evidence that supports that hope.

Your lifetime belongs to you. I guarantee it. Waiting for someone else to come in and overhaul it to your specifications is guaranteed not to work. Your life and your time are two of the resources that you have at your disposal. Use them both to make the other better. In time your life is going to run out, we talked about it earlier. So waiting to start living your life makes no sense. “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Teddy Roosevelt. I’d add in “with the ones you love (when possible)”

Guarantees are few in this life. So use your time wisely!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Whose Job Is It?

Pete Huryk

In mid April on a Sunday afternoon in 2007, I had a great day! My son’s first birthday party was a collection of family, friends, presents and positivity for the future. It wasn’t perfection but it was pretty great! The next day changed all of that for a while. On the campus of Virginia Tech, the worst side of humanity reared its ugly head and it sent me spiraling. Perhaps it was only the proximity of the two events that caused the issue but I was overrun with guilt. How could I bring a child into a world where that type of hate was possible? For about two months, I was in the closest thing that I can equate to a depression. Eventually, the thing that preceded the downturn got me out of it, my son. No matter what had happened, I had a responsibility to show up for him. Not only to protect him from things until was able to take that on himself but to be a force for good. The world was not inherently evil or good. I had the opportunity to “color” the world through my actions.

So I pose the very ambiguous question again. Whose job is it? Whose job is it to make sure that I show up as the best version of myself today? The answer is simple and we all know it, it’s mine! It also comes linked with a word that many people don’t like, RESPONSIBILITY. It’s a daunting word but let’s break it down. Response ability, the ability to respond (not react) to a situation.

It’s that major ingredient that is the base for our progress as people. I needed to take it when I had a one year old son despite my guilt. Even Billy Madison, the buffoon who needed to repeat school to prove to dad he wasn’t a fool, understood responsibility. “You don’t just look for an hour and call it quits! You get your a$$ out there and find that f—-ing dog!”

Now that it’s pretty certain whose job it is, embrace it! The best version of you is available. Lean into it. When you fall short, respond with another attempt. The people around you need a great version of you whenever they can get it.

Peace! I’m outta here!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Bound for the Floor

Pete Huryk

It’s the title of the only song that I know by the band, Local H. While they never made a huge impact on my listening habits, their one song pops into my head from time to time. Usually it’s when I’m near my hometown. There is a sign for the hospital with the word “local” above it. I’d always just assumed that it was the inspiration for the band’s name. Regardless of my error, “bound for the floor” makes an appearance occasionally.

The combination of the song title and my association with the hospital has always created a universality to the song. We’re all bound for the floor at some point. It may not happen any time soon but it’s inevitable. Literal or metaphorical, we’re impacted by gravity constantly and the pull of our mortality. In the short term we’re going to fall and in the long term, we’ll stay down permanently.

There are plenty of dispositions to take toward these truths. At the one extreme, there’s the hopelessness of everything. Why bother? It’s all going to end and I’m going to get hurt along the way. So why bother? In the other direction is the urgency. This will end and now is all that I get. Bounce back up as quickly as possible and do all that you can with the time that you have. In between those two extremes is an infinite number of ways to move forward. Choosing is the key. Deciding your disposition toward the floor before it comes. Since it is inevitable, when and why are often unknowable but the how is largely up to us.

Born to be down… Sure! But don’t stay there long or indulge in it. It will catch up with you eventually but looking over your shoulder is only going to keep you from seeing all of the beauty in front of you. It’s up to you!

Keep it copacetic!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Pillow Forts

Pete Huryk
Washing the covers to my couch cushions and got inspired!

They’re the beautiful architecture of children usually! It’s a beauty that’s not really found in the craftsmanship because the material are haphazard and stability almost nonexistent. The key ingredient to the beauty of a pillow fort is the belief of its builder. The imagination and wonder that goes into something so flimsy… so temporary. Yet they love it because it’s theirs and it took the mundane and made it magical!

At certain point, we stop making pillow forts. Not because we lack the time or materials but rather the imagination. We see only utility and not possibility. The function and the thing become one until our world is filled with single use items.

We’re all pillow forts! Temporary structures that were born out of imagination and love. Perhaps today is a great day to get that magic back! Breathe life back into that thing that you know won’t last forever but maybe you can see it anew. Re-envision it with a childlike joy!

Or wait ‘til it falls apart or a single purpose person tears it back down to its most basic form.

Both are a choice! And now you’re probably old enough to make it on your own!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

You’re Stronger Than This!

Pete Huryk

Honestly that’s not the real quote! The line from the movie goes “You’re faster than this, don’t think you are. Know you are!” Mentally combined with the scene where Neo faces off with Agent Smith in the subway station, it’s my “go to” imagery when I’m lifting a heavy weight. While I could be tempting fate slightly by putting so much stock into the mental side of a very physical act, I still believe that it’s important.

Everything traces itself back to the mind! We tend to believe that we live in a physical world and sure, we do. But it is all interpreted through the mind. So the sensations of those very physical acts get relayed through the body and interpreted by the mind. It’s not a one way street though. There needs to be an impetus for action. And if you don’t believe that the floor is going to hold you up when you step onto it, you’re stuck! The world is giving us feedback and that can shape our beliefs but does not dictate them. There’s more to it. We have choice!

What have you chosen to believe in the past? What do you believe now? What beliefs do you need to adopt in order to get you where you want to go? These are important questions to ask and consider the answer. One of my favorite sayings (that I believe I coined) “Don’t assume you’re weak because you haven’t found your strength yet.” In it lies the problem that so many people face. They doubt the existence of their own strength because it’s not obvious like the powers of Superman or they’ve not been anointed the “One” like Neo. It’s a two way street of belief and feedback that need to coalesce into suspension bridge that can support the weight of our endeavor. It’s not as simple as we’d like it to be but it’s not impossible either.

You’re stronger than this! Don’t think you are. KNOW you are!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

None Of It Is Easy

Pete Huryk

Staring down a deadline that I set for myself to write something by 11pm. Here it is 10:49 and several drafts in the technological trash. Yet I persist! Chances are that this won’t be the best piece of writing that I’ve ever produced. That’s ok! The point isn’t to get your best each time. It’s showing up again and taking a swing. Because none of it is easy.

While our search for easier situations has largely led to just different hard circumstances, we seem to insist that easy is out there somewhere. That something of value can be received with little effort and no long term cost. I’m not sure that I’m buying it anymore. None of it is easy!

But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be joyous, exciting, moving and life altering as well. It’s just that none of it is easy. So tomorrow by 11pm, another piece of writing will be showing up here and none of that will be easy. But I’m looking forward to it because basically that’s the only way we can truly look.

Onward, Forward!

Pete