Sometimes we’re so close! Everything is almost in place. Yet we fall short and it’s almost more disappointing than if we weren’t even close. The proximity to success hurts because we can almost taste it. Yet it eludes us.
The idea of not giving up is easy to say and not as easy to do. Our brain finds the chinks in our armor easily and recent “failure” is an easy one to point out. Although it may seem sinister in some ways, our minds are just trying to protect us from pain: real or perceived.
At these moments, it’s time to put your hands firmly back on the wheel. Your brain may be trying to protect you but it’s undercutting your success at the same time. The only way to get to that goal is forget about the small shortcomings and keep at it. Eventually, all foes fall to persistent action! It’s life’s game of chicken! And maybe that’s the bird that we need to be focused on!
You don’t need me or anyone else to tell you! You already know.
What needs to be done.
Who really has your back.
Who is probably going to let you down.
What you should give up.
What you should start.
What you should quit doing.
What price you’re willing to pay for it.
And so many other things! It’s not about the information because you already know. It’s getting past all of the excuse long enough to see things clearly and live into it. More information, validation, motivation, cooperation or any other “-ation” isn’t really the key. You just need to decide to do what you know.
In a world where people who serve coffee are called “baristas”, I’m not sure if bartenders are now “mixologists” but there’s a science and art to the perfect drink. It’s not all about getting the proportions right. There’s a bit of intuition about who you’re pouring for. Knowing what drink to serve is almost as important as the ingredients. Anyone can look up how to make a Dirty Martini or Old Fashioned. Few can make the experience of a night out into magic. Those bartenders are worth their weight in gold.
Many of the usual suspects are already disheartened by the start to the season. Not enough points… JCH is the best striker in the league (we’re sunk without him)… X, Y & Z player aren’t good enough… Blah blah blah. I always think of a former work colleague when I read these types of comments. His name was Bob Cotton and from what I could tell, he was only happy when he was complaining. While I’m seeing the same matches and results, I’d also be blind to not recognize the pattern. Transfer windows unsettle players because we’re a stepping stone club. Ferguson needs to find the right balance within the squad. Players need to believe in their ability to deliver what is being asked of them. None of it is 100% science. It’s partially art. Yet somehow there is the expectation that Fergie should be serving up success from the beginning. It’s just not the way that this works. He needs to tinker and figure it out. Results will come because the major components to the recipe are in place.
One part manager with a background of success at this level.
Sixteen parts players with something to prove (number may not be exact).
A 46 game season in League 1.
The details will be figured out later but for now, it may not be the smoothest drink going down. But now is not the point. This season may not even be the point. There is champagne in the future but the sour grapes won’t help us get there any faster. Let Fergie mix it up as he has done many times before. He’s gotten us drunk with delight before. I’m still a believer now!
It’s the start of things! Or the last thing before nothing is left! Zero to one is often a herculean effort that requires more fortitude than all the progress that comes later. Yet we often dismiss it at the beginning. Act like it’s the same as the next door neighbor, zero. When traveling on the decline, it’s far easier to see the value of one because it’s all that’s left. Teetering on the brink of empty puts one into perspective. The life-giving force that it is.
It’s funny to think how oblivious we are at times. Perhaps delusion is baked into our brains naturally but we tend to think we have unlimited time, unlimited attention and unlimited options. We don’t! And we should really know it. Not because someone wrote about it but because we’ve experienced it on both sides. The joy of single focus where time melts away. The desire for one more moment with a person lost. The recognition that by trying to do everything, nothing was done. We chide ourselves and promise to be different. Yet, when we get confronted again with the multitude, we forget about one.
This one moment is all that you truly have. It’s impossible to live every moment to the fullest because basic needs would get overrun by maximization. However, we can be cognizant of the moment know that it’s not coming back. So do what you can with it. The juxtaposition of two songs called “one” give a great perspective on the human experience of oneness. Metallica’s “One” is the story of a soldier who is injured in combat and lost his sight and his limbs. He is kept alive in an agonizing existence for the study of others while all he wants is to die. He is singular but separate. The “One” by U2 makes us all one. That we are connected and share our experiences whether painful or joyous by being one.
Our lives are meant for more than the mental masturbation that comes from being stimulated but not engaged. An endless loop of input without connection or meaning. Giving ourselves over to the only moment that exists with the idea of connecting with all that we can, that’s probably the point. We should probably try to remember that until the next time that we realize we forgot and went back to zero.
“It’s never too late!” and other cliches exist for a reason. They’ve been said and believed enough to be repeated. It’s not problematic if they are true enough to be helpful or helpful enough that they don’t have to be true. Yet they’re familiarity is their greatest weakness. People roll their eyes! “I already know that” is the thought running through their head. And the possibly helpful becomes ignored.
What if we leaned in? What if we discerned the quality from the crap and utilized them? What could change for the better? Everything? The proof is in the pudding and there’s only one way to find out!
The two don’t seem like they should be in rapid succession on a “to do list” right? Brushing your teeth is such a mundane task that most people would take it off the list if they could. Conquering the world is so big and amorphous. How does one even begin to wrap their head around the concept? Genghis Khan probably came the closest when you think of access and scope. However, we now know that he had much farther to go. Even if he could have laid siege to lands on all seven continents. He could not effectively manage them in his time. The world is just too big!
There’s a lot of space in between these two concepts but it’s easy to get stuck at one extreme or the other. Maintenance is a necessary component to life. But it’s also a convenient place to hide. The “have to’s” on our list can overrun our lives if we let them and we would feel justified in never going beyond because we “had to…” It’s also easy to get stuck with our heads in the clouds. Thinking of all the distant horizons that we’ll conquer when the time is right and the stars align. Until that time comes, nothing else much happens. Spirts of activity give the impression of forward progress but the amount of territory acquired on the world conquest is quite minimal.
To be honest, I’m not sure what the best strategy is for getting “the most” out of life. There is a break even point with many things like fuel efficiency and speed. There is a mathematical equation to find that equilibrium. With humans, I doubt there’s a true way to figure it out. It may just be one of those things that we have to feel our way through. After we brush our teeth of course!
Two letters difference and a new idea is born! Why is the shoe sailing? What happened to the ship that we were expecting? Can shoes really sail? All of these questions and more spring out of a small misstep. Just a 12% change and the idea is turned completely on its head.
The reaction to this type of upheaval depends completely on your disposition. For some people, the introduction of the new and unexpected is cause for alarm. Those shoes and their sailing are a threat on every possible level. The status quo was intended to be kept and they’ll not abide those sailing shoes! While other people are open to the new and unique, the shoes bring possibility to a mundane concept. Those shoes are trailblazing and its about time.
Both ideas have validity and their own fan groups. It’s worth the introspection to figure out whether or not you’re a shoe sailor or not. That simple knowledge can give you insight into setting up your life. Squeezing all of the juice that you can out of the known is not a bad way to live, if that’s who you are. If you’re infatuated with the new, you probably shouldn’t wallpaper your house because it’s difficult to remove. And maybe you should rent anyway! Knowing thyself is an old idea that rings true even today. So look in that mirror because the shoe hasn’t sailed on you yet!
One thing that can be easy to forget about an open door policy is that there is still a door. There are so many times that willingness to listen gets misconstrued as agreement. Information is a valuable currency and an open door policy invites it in. However, it is not a “no door policy.” The possibility still exists to close up shop at certain points to avoid negative outcomes.
We are a social species and we need each other in so many ways. However, doors exist because not everyone deserves to get inside or sometimes needs to be removed. Open door is just a predisposition, not a permanent state. Boundaries are healthy things to have. Being inviting and accepting can be counterbalanced by being discerning and observant.
For sure, let the door be open but don’t be afraid to close it when necessary. Access to you and your time should not be frivolously given because then they are not respected. You open the door because you care about others. You close it because you also need to care for yourself.
It’s hard to say how many people remember the band Dangerous Toys. Not exactly a one hit wonder because they had two songs that I remember as “hits” but they weren’t mega stars. One of the songs from their self-titled album was called “Ten Boots” that is an ode to the group’s cowboy boots. A mix of 80s rock and sentimentality over footwear, it’s not showing up on many people’s Spotify playlist these days. That I can assure you! However, it is a great example of personal value.
If you were born after 1990, this is the insert from a cassette. Prior to Spotify, Apple Music and even CDs this was a commonly found item!
There are so many things in this world that we hold sacred. That same item is something that another person would set on fire (like white cowboy boots). It’s not the value that the world puts on it that matters. Value is determined by the individual for a whole host of reasons. Unfortunately, in this interconnected world, we tend to look outward to find the value of something. Worth is based on what other people think…. F%#$ that! Put your own price tag or value onto that thing that you cherish. It doesn’t always need to be an interconnected world in which you live. Sometimes, you need to be willing to be on an island.
How much you value something is up to you. And more than anything, you need to value yourself because you’re the only thing that you truly have. Everyone and everything else is a passerby. Like the two hit wonder, Dangerous Toys, they will fade into memory. Value your journey through this world and hold tight to the things that you hold sacred because it’s all going away at some point. It would be a shame for someone else to convince you that your treasure is trash when they’ve not looked at it through your eyes! Gold is not the only thing that glitters! And you don’t need to be golden to shine!
Huryk Unlimited 