Tag: learning

It’s a play on words for sure. And I’m not even sure how many people out there know what a cesspool is anymore. But here we are! The combination of these two words written out is not anything that I’d want to be involved with. If you were to say the words out loud though, it conjures thoughts of Scrooge McDuck swimming in a pile of gold coins. A success pool is one that most of us would dive into. The problem is that they’re one in the same.

Our brains discount the reality of so many success stories because we get blinded by the success. JK Rowling is one of the most common that gets cited because she was a single parent on welfare prior to the success of the Harry Potter series. However, it gets glossed over pretty quickly because we know the ending. Her financial situation sucked and many of the things she had to “swim” through were a “cesspool”. It’s easy to look at her story and say it was worth it. But for that one outlier, there are far more stories of people who never turn that pool of muck into a pile of gold. Generally speaking though, that what it takes.

Success requires a willingness to do a lot of things that suck. Early mornings, late nights, long odds, thin margins, tough conditions, etc. are all possible ingredients to the “suck”. And the cesspool is filled with all kinds of things that we never want to encounter but must. Liars, backstabbers, trolls, false friends, amoral competition, self-sabotage, depression, etc. could all be lurking in the cesspool. 

So the question isn’t whether or not you want success. We all do regarding something. It’s a question of whether or not you’re willing to face all of the stuff that sucks and the muck that comes along the path to your success. The size of the success that you want is usually proportionate to the “stuff” that you’re going to have to go through to get it.

Hold your nose!

Pete

My first car was a 1977 Chevy Nova that I inherited from my great aunt. It was a tank! In the winter of 1993, I made money hand over fist at my pizza delivery job because I was willing to work through the blizzard. I never worried about getting stuck or damaging it. It was a simple piece of machinery that made sense. It’s the only vehicle that I’ve ever owned which I changed the oil, spark plugs, antifreeze, etc. myself. It had a full size spare and everything! After that, my cars were less conducive to self-maintenance. Technology made cars more efficient but complex at the same time. The rinky dink jacks and doughnut spares scream, DON’T TRY TO FIX THIS YOURSELF!

AAA is the company that many people call for their roadside assistance needs. Considering how infrequently a well maintained car breaks down, outsourcing that situation makes sense, I suppose. AAA stands for the American Automobile Association. Although it doesn’t apply to this company, having a name with multiples A’s in a row meant that you would be first in the Yellow Pages/Phone book. When we transition to the next idea, I’d like for it to be first in your mind.

Attention, Acceptance and Approval are the things that we normally look for from other people. They are the holy trinity of currencies that are exchanged with the general public. Although love is definitely of greater value, it’s not something that is easily thrown around to the masses. Attention seems to be the currency of the moment but it comes pretty cheaply. Acceptance is another commodity of the day. Often, it’s not so much about accepting a person but rejecting those “others”. Approval is probably the toughest at the moment because people want deniability and nuance. It’s highly unlikely that you’re ever going to achieve all three with the masses. So maybe, calling out to the world for the AAA isn’t the way to go. Perhaps there is something better.

 Much like my 1977 Chevy Nova, it might be time to give that AAA service to yourself. Give yourself the attention that you need and deserve. Your thoughts are not things to particularly be covered up by videos, music or more work. Accept yourself for who you are. No doubt, you could improve. We all can but accept who you are in order to calibrate for your forward motion. If you’re constantly running from the shadow of who you’ve been, you’re going to be too tired to make meaningful progress. Finally, seek your own approval. Do things that make you feel good about who you are and avoid those that don’t. The world is probably not ready to approve of anyone 100%. However, if you can be thoughtful about what you do, then you have the seal of approval from the one person that you need to live with everyday. 

Remember that no one is coming to save you! You can phone a friend or get help from the passer by but more than likely most of the work is an inside job. The people who give themselves Attention, Acceptance and Approval are more likely to find it elsewhere. 

Life is highway!

Pete

When I was a kid, my dad was obsessed with David Copperfield. Not the book by Charles Dickens but the magician from New Jersey. My father did his own little magic shows for kids as well. He had a big box filled with his supplies for the tricks. Due to my proximity to a magician, I knew how some of the tricks worked. So even though David Copperfield’s tricks were on a much larger scale, I knew there was something at work and it wasn’t “magic.”

The secrets of the magician are not found in dusty books handed to them by witches or wizards. Quite the opposite, the magic that they produce comes from a lot of practice and preparation. They need to hide all the work that they’ve done behind the illusion of magic. For the audience, it’s easier to believe in mystical powers than fathom all of the preparation that goes into one of their big illusions.

The magic that you’re looking for is hidden in the work that you’re not doing. Regardless of whether you’re a true magician or a person trying to make the varsity team. More than likely, you’re not going get struck by some cosmic energy that will give you special powers. The key to your big “trick” will come down to whether or not you do the work. And possibly you may need to reuse the magic words that started this paragraph. No! Not abracadabra! The magic that you’re looking for is hidden in the work that you’re not doing. Once you do enough preparation, people will dismiss it as magic, talent, luck or a number of other things. Because it’s just easier to make someone else special rather than admit that they could do something very similar, if they only worked hard enough!

Choose a card… no, direction.

Pete

These are the final words that Luke Skywalker utters before being thrust onto an adventure. When he said that he was “ready for anything”, he could not have anticipated all that he would endure. Losing a mentor, confronting a variety of evil adversaries, losing his hand, gaining unimaginable powers, helping destroy two Death Stars and redeeming his father were probably not in his mind. They were also not in his capability at that moment. He was more than likely unable to see a future that was so difficult yet grand. 

We’re all on an adventure of some sort. It may not have monsters, scoundrels and laser blasters but it’s an adventure nonetheless. There are so many things that we cannot anticipate about what is coming in the future. Personally, societally, globally… it’s always in flux. So saying “I’m ready for anything” is probably inaccurate. More close to the point might be “I’ll accept what comes my way and I’m willing to learn as I go.” 

You don’t need to be ready for anything right now. It’s unrealistic. Most of us are not ready for to juggle five bowling pins on a unicycle but if that challenge confronted us, we could learn how. That’s the strength of human beings. We’re able to adapt and learn. Most animals come preprogrammed with the things that they need to survive. It’s just not a very complex existence. In order to traverse our complex world, we need to learn and adapt. You’re on an adventure but don’t worry about being ready for anything. Be willing to do anything that you can to make the adventure better.

May the force be with you! Always!

Pete 

While I can’t pinpoint a particular incident, there are plenty of memories of carefully pulling the paper-thin cassette ribbon from the tape player. Hoping that I’d be able to salvage it. No doubt, it was going to take time and patience but there was no alternative. Many of the tapes that I had were dubbed from friends or recorded from the radio. I’m sure that I silently wished for the ability to have my music in a more portable form without delay or chance of destruction. Now I’m not so sure!

This is not a full argument against technology. I’m thankful for the ease, convenience and accessibility of so many things in our modern world. Yet, I see the pain of what was lost in the process. When most things are available quickly and easily; patience and effort to solve problems become commodities in short supply. The trade off was unintentional but it happened nonetheless. Now that we’re here, I don’t think a return to simpler times is coming by choice. Yet I can’t help but think that we need to put some imperfection back into our lives. Nothing used to work perfectly and that was kind of ok. The expectation wasn’t there.

The irony is not lost on me that this message is coming to you through one of the devices that has taken away many of our “problems”. But I’d be ok with it, if you were to never read my blog again and go on a walk instead. Or built stone wall in your backyard. Or carved a wooden spoon out of a piece of wood. The world moves at an extremely fast pace and the complexity can be overwhelming but we don’t need to give it our attention all the time. Maybe there are some imperfections that are worth looking into. They might help you to see yourself a little bit clearer because despite being miracles, we’re all imperfect!

Perfectly imperfect!

Pete

It was literally freezing cold this morning at 6:45 when I went out for my run. My knee was aching a it and that one hill on my loop is a monster! The cold air burns a bit more in my lungs as my legs churn slowly up the incline. Whenever I talk about morning runs, triathlons, ice baths or the like, a large percentage of people say silently or aloud “no thanks!” It’s not that they can’t do those things. They choose not to and that’s ok. They may be choosing the “other hard.”

One of the reasons why we choose not to do things is that they are “hard.” Getting up early to workout, getting the grades required for acceptance into Harvard, becoming a neurosurgeon, winning a State Championship, etc. are all difficult in their own right. None of them are impossible but they require a momentary or consistent choice to do the “hard” thing. Most people choose not do them and that is ok. Often, I think we’re slightly blind to the “other hard.”

Recently, something was drawn to my attention. The choice not to do the hard thing or even go to the other extreme and do the easy, results in consequences. The results of choosing the easy, often lead to the other hard. Not working out regularly, leads health issues and poor mental states. A lack of study or cheating leads to a lack of mental capability that is found out eventually. Half effort in practice leads to disappointing results on the field and sense of opportunity left on the table. 

Doing the hard thing up front, does not guarantee the results that you’re after. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nor does the shunning of the hard upfront necessarily lead to catastrophic results. There is no 100% cause effect relationship. However, the human animal was built to endure hard things and we have throughout our history. That’s how we got to this point in our development as a species. Now that the hard things are no longer thrust upon us daily, we must choose to seek them out or not. When we do hard things, we tend to feel good about ourselves and that’s a big part of the equation that’s missing for people. They want things to be easy but then feel slightly empty or disappointed by the results. The other hard is often invisible which makes it more sinister. The initial hard is honest and upfront about what it is. 

This is not a cry for everyone to live a Spartan lifestyle and forego every opportunity to enjoy life. It’s a call for clarity and responsibility. Your choices are yours to make and consequences come with them. Walk a path that you believe in and can be proud of when the consequences arrive. 

During my youth, I had the unique opportunity to visit the Statue of Liberty with my Boy Scout troop. At that time, a group of us decided to brave the ascent to the crown, a journey requiring us to conquer a long, ancient spiral staircase. I’ve seen images of renovated stairs, but back then, they were weathered and you could peer through the steps into the inner workings of Lady Liberty herself. Occasional resting platforms dotted the path, meant for those weary from the climb. But for someone like me, who’s afraid of heights, even the thought of stopping on those platforms was daunting.

As I ascended that stairwell, a worst-case scenario crossed my mind: What if someone tumbled backward while climbing? Packed tightly, one person’s misstep could spell disaster for all. My dizziness and nausea started to creep in. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I was facing forward. If I did fall, I would land on my face on the steps, but at least I’d be okay. By the time I reached the crown, I barely took a glance at the view. As I turned around, my prior fear confronted me anew. The descent presented the same possibility of falling, but now I was facing that direction. For my younger self, it was a nerve-wracking and scary experience, and I despised every moment of that descent. So much so that I can’t even recall who convinced me to embark on this ordeal because it was precisely that bad.

Downward spirals in life can be equally nerve-wracking and terrifying. Things often seem normal at first, but then a series of setbacks starts to nudge you slightly off your upward trajectory. It’s like the gradual descent on that Statue of Liberty staircase. Your perspective gets faced away from your goal to the fear of a fall. However, it’s crucial to understand that the staircase itself isn’t wavering; it’s you.

In such moments, remember that you are not helpless. Take a breath. Pause and reflect on your path. Ask yourself if the “crown” you’re striving for is genuinely worth it. If it is, refocus on your goal and take the next step forward. Falling on your face while climbing upward is still not problematic.

Your fear of a fall can either be your enemy or your ally. When it encourages you to focus on the process and take each step carefully, it becomes your ally. But if it makes you nervous and causes you to freeze, then it’s your enemy. You have the power to choose how you perceive and utilize fear. Transform it into a driving force that keeps you grounded and aware of your journey.

And here’s a crucial perspective: If you’re going to fall (or fail), do so while moving forward. Every stumble is an opportunity to learn, to pick up new information, or to understand what doesn’t work. In essence, fall forward. Gain something from your missteps, even if it’s just the wisdom to navigate future challenges better.

So, as you navigate life’s spiral staircase that can be overwhelming, remember that you have the power to choose your perspective. The crown is within reach if you stay focused and resilient.

The difference between an upward and downward spiral is focus.

Pete