Tag: inspiration

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

The Coach’s Conundrum and Corollary

Pete Huryk

Last night, I read some really exciting news! Brian White was named to the roster for the US Men’s National Team’s camp this January. While he was in high school, I was lucky enough to coach Brian. His success on the field has everything to do with his choices and dedication to his craft as a player. I am extremely proud of him for all of his achievements, not only because he is a great player but also a great person. However, that pride as a coach is not restricted to Brian and his very public achievement. I am also extremely proud of Mitch, Thomas, Mason, Joe, Trey, Julie, Adrienne, Sarah, Mike M., Mike A., Jeremy and the list goes on. There is so much pride in my almost quarter century coaching career and very little of it has to do with kicking a ball.

During the end of season banquet one year, I was asked to “say a few words.” We had an extremely successful season and that was an amazing ride. However, the theme of my words were that the success of coaching was not to be measured in the wins that we had achieved that season but rather the successful marriages, careers, lives, etc. that would come ten or twenty years down the road. 

The coach’s conundrum (for me at least) is that we want to win the game but we know that game isn’t what matters. Wanting to win is important. Preparing in order to win is important. Not because the game is a matter of life and death. But because the game helps us toward better results in life before our death. Through sport, we learn how to give our all, hopefully in service of something bigger than ourselves, for a finite amount of time. Years of practice, hopefully, lead to progress and mastery. Not only of the skills required to play because those are largely fleeting but the intangibles that come with sport. The results of any individual contest are nowhere near as important as the ripples that sports create through a lifetime of endeavors that require commitment.

Like Ted Lasso tells his son in the first season, being a coach is a lot like being a dad (or mom). It requires a letting go of the control one might want on the result. The strength of a good coach or parent is in the preparation and the long term impact. Some do it without realizing and others are intentional about their influence. Neither is easy and people get it wrong all the time. Especially, when we tend to focus on the things that are fleeting rather than the ones that are lasting. 

Wanting good things for my players is a constant and trying to prepare them for the trials that they’ll face outside of the lines is as well. I’ve not done it perfectly because no one can but I’ve done it with intention. All around the world there are people that I had the privilege to influence for a short period of time and I hope that I helped nudge them closer to whom they were meant to be.

Two things! Thanks for reading and check out my book that explains finances using soccer as a metaphor.

Pete

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

Soccer Moms Save The World

Pete Huryk

Imagine it as the headline on the newspaper (if people still read them) or plastered across your Tiktok, Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (X damnit!) feed. Soccer moms! The often forgotten chauffeurs to legions of youngsters who chase a ball incessantly throughout the country. That makes no sense! Quite the opposite, it makes perfect sense but the credit will never come. The only hope is that the results do.

We live in a tumultuous time with so many layers to our societies and culture. There is division on so many levels throughout the world. Often it can seem as though conflict is the outcome of every encounter with all things up for debate (but more often just labeling and shutting down). It’s a difficult time to be sure but not insurmountable nor particularly new. Throughout human history, empires have risen and fallen. Times of plenty have been followed by time of lack. So going back to my headline idea, the world does not particularly need saving but rather redirecting toward constructive ends.

Then why soccer moms? I’ll deal with the more obvious first. Moms are the force behind the human race. Yes, I know that us dads play our part but there is a lot of heavy lifting at the beginning that requires the mom. One of the problems that I’ve heard about frequently over the past few months is the threat of “under population” that is coming. Just one example but definitely an issue that moms can help to rectify. Many of the others will require leaders who can galvanize people toward a more positive end. All of those leaders will have a mom.

Then why soccer? Soccer is the most popular sport in the world and with good reason. It represents the struggles of life in so many ways that I believe people are inherently drawn to it. The lack of full possession of the ball, skill development over a variety of areas, the need for balance in attack/defense, the limited influence of coaches during actual performance, and so many other facets make soccer the world’s game. It is a truly simple game that is utterly complex in its application depending on the level of the players. Just like life!

So as the world continues to run into issues, the course will need to be redirected. Moms are bound to be major players in the nudging of society and culture. The beautiful game teaches so many principles that can be applied routinely to the bigger game of life. It stands to reason that Soccer Moms (could) Save the World. The question is what direction to nudge? 

With economic upheaval looming in the near future, finance might be the place to start. Financial literacy is not taught in most schools. Most kids are not going to learn about this topic on their own. They need to be nudged and given a vehicle to get there (sorry for the extra driving moms). My friend/co-author and I took the time to create that vehicle. “Setting and Scoring Financial Goals” is our attempt to give young people that understanding that they need to make good financial decisions.

We’re living in unprecedented times where information is at our fingertips and individuals do have the ability to unite as one voice or echo a voice that’s worth hearing. Perhaps the combination of these two hugely influential forces could be used to make for a better tomorrow if the right echos were heard by the young players in their care.

Mother’s Day is May 12th this year. Just an FYI!

Pete   

Blogpost, self-reliance

Aliving!

Pete Huryk

Playing with language is one of my favorite things to do. We capture our experiences in words. Or perhaps evaluate or maybe even create through these sound and character accumulations. Our minds get a different picture or experience depending on the words that we use and how we use them. Push and shove mean basically the same thing but put into the context of a situation, they can be miles apart. So we need to be deliberate and sometimes careful with the words that we use. Sometimes I like to take a page out of my favorite author’s playbook (Dr. Seuss). I make up words to fit my purposes.

Today I didn’t do it on purpose. ”Aliving” was the product of my writing too quickly but it might serve my needs. If you’re reading this, then you’re living. Breathing, drinking, eating, sleeping, talking, walking, etc. you’re doing that thing in the present, right now! It’s an action. And almost the same exact meaning, you’re alive. It’s a state that you’re in. It’s adjective that describes you at the moment. So what if we put them together? Did a word double down on it! What if you weren’t just living or alive? You were aliving!

You weren’t just going through the motions and being the normal you. You had that extra pep in your step, you were seeing things clearly, recognizing how special this thing is that you’re doing right now! (Pete, I’m on the toilet reading this.) Yep! In structure that keeps you safe from the cold in winter and you don’t have to smell that crap ten minutes later because its flushed away! Aliving could be living life at a higher cadence. Most days you could be living but every once in a while, you could choose to be aliving.

It’s a silly concept isn’t it? Making up a word to get the most out of the moment you’re living. So much of what we do is silly. Hours of looking at photos of people that we don’t know that make us feel badly about our life even though the two are not connected at all. Reliving a mental picture of our worst mistakes despite not being able to fix them. Most of what we do is pretty silly when put under a microscope. So it comes down to how you want to run your life. It’s really up to you. Either way, you’re alive (unless I bored you to death, Sorry dead dude!) But now you may consider taking another step up the ladder by ALIVING!

It’s a great day to be alive-ing!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Other Hard

Pete Huryk

It was literally freezing cold this morning at 6:45 when I went out for my run. My knee was aching a it and that one hill on my loop is a monster! The cold air burns a bit more in my lungs as my legs churn slowly up the incline. Whenever I talk about morning runs, triathlons, ice baths or the like, a large percentage of people say silently or aloud “no thanks!” It’s not that they can’t do those things. They choose not to and that’s ok. They may be choosing the “other hard.”

One of the reasons why we choose not to do things is that they are “hard.” Getting up early to workout, getting the grades required for acceptance into Harvard, becoming a neurosurgeon, winning a State Championship, etc. are all difficult in their own right. None of them are impossible but they require a momentary or consistent choice to do the “hard” thing. Most people choose not do them and that is ok. Often, I think we’re slightly blind to the “other hard.”

Recently, something was drawn to my attention. The choice not to do the hard thing or even go to the other extreme and do the easy, results in consequences. The results of choosing the easy, often lead to the other hard. Not working out regularly, leads health issues and poor mental states. A lack of study or cheating leads to a lack of mental capability that is found out eventually. Half effort in practice leads to disappointing results on the field and sense of opportunity left on the table. 

Doing the hard thing up front, does not guarantee the results that you’re after. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nor does the shunning of the hard upfront necessarily lead to catastrophic results. There is no 100% cause effect relationship. However, the human animal was built to endure hard things and we have throughout our history. That’s how we got to this point in our development as a species. Now that the hard things are no longer thrust upon us daily, we must choose to seek them out or not. When we do hard things, we tend to feel good about ourselves and that’s a big part of the equation that’s missing for people. They want things to be easy but then feel slightly empty or disappointed by the results. The other hard is often invisible which makes it more sinister. The initial hard is honest and upfront about what it is. 

This is not a cry for everyone to live a Spartan lifestyle and forego every opportunity to enjoy life. It’s a call for clarity and responsibility. Your choices are yours to make and consequences come with them. Walk a path that you believe in and can be proud of when the consequences arrive. 

Blogpost, self-reliance

Upward Spirals

Pete Huryk

During my youth, I had the unique opportunity to visit the Statue of Liberty with my Boy Scout troop. At that time, a group of us decided to brave the ascent to the crown, a journey requiring us to conquer a long, ancient spiral staircase. I’ve seen images of renovated stairs, but back then, they were weathered and you could peer through the steps into the inner workings of Lady Liberty herself. Occasional resting platforms dotted the path, meant for those weary from the climb. But for someone like me, who’s afraid of heights, even the thought of stopping on those platforms was daunting.

As I ascended that stairwell, a worst-case scenario crossed my mind: What if someone tumbled backward while climbing? Packed tightly, one person’s misstep could spell disaster for all. My dizziness and nausea started to creep in. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I was facing forward. If I did fall, I would land on my face on the steps, but at least I’d be okay. By the time I reached the crown, I barely took a glance at the view. As I turned around, my prior fear confronted me anew. The descent presented the same possibility of falling, but now I was facing that direction. For my younger self, it was a nerve-wracking and scary experience, and I despised every moment of that descent. So much so that I can’t even recall who convinced me to embark on this ordeal because it was precisely that bad.

Downward spirals in life can be equally nerve-wracking and terrifying. Things often seem normal at first, but then a series of setbacks starts to nudge you slightly off your upward trajectory. It’s like the gradual descent on that Statue of Liberty staircase. Your perspective gets faced away from your goal to the fear of a fall. However, it’s crucial to understand that the staircase itself isn’t wavering; it’s you.

In such moments, remember that you are not helpless. Take a breath. Pause and reflect on your path. Ask yourself if the “crown” you’re striving for is genuinely worth it. If it is, refocus on your goal and take the next step forward. Falling on your face while climbing upward is still not problematic.

Your fear of a fall can either be your enemy or your ally. When it encourages you to focus on the process and take each step carefully, it becomes your ally. But if it makes you nervous and causes you to freeze, then it’s your enemy. You have the power to choose how you perceive and utilize fear. Transform it into a driving force that keeps you grounded and aware of your journey.

And here’s a crucial perspective: If you’re going to fall (or fail), do so while moving forward. Every stumble is an opportunity to learn, to pick up new information, or to understand what doesn’t work. In essence, fall forward. Gain something from your missteps, even if it’s just the wisdom to navigate future challenges better.

So, as you navigate life’s spiral staircase that can be overwhelming, remember that you have the power to choose your perspective. The crown is within reach if you stay focused and resilient.

The difference between an upward and downward spiral is focus.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Let’s Get FAT!

Pete Huryk

I’m passionate about languages! They’re an agreement that we use to express ourselves to other people. They can stir emotions and ignite contemplation. In our daily lives, it’s easy to overlook the fact that many of the words we casually use have been around hundreds or even thousands of years. These words evolve, meanings shift, and their original connections can get obscured. This realization struck me during my morning run while engrossed in a podcast. The host mentioned a “fatal error” made by a business, and my mind fixated on the word “fatal,” leading me down a linguistic rabbit hole.

Within this word exploration, I stumbled upon five words that resonated: fate, fatigue, faith, fathom, and father. This intriguing word salad prompted me to reflect on the intricate processes we all navigate in life.

Every aspiration, project, vocation, or calling begins with a seed—the FATher. It’s the inception, the spark of an idea that ignites the journey. Once we embark, we must have FAiTh, for it serves as the relentless fuel propelling us forward—a belief in the unseen when evidence is scarce. Along this path, we encounter FATigue—the weariness inherent in the exhaustive effort required to bring our dreams to fruition.

Then there’s FATe—an element that appears preordained, unstoppable, simply meant to be. Fathom enters the scene, not just as a unit of measurement but as the quest for understanding, a vital component of our journey. Finally, we arrive at the word that initiated this linguistic adventure—FATal.

Delving into the origins of “FATal,” I discovered that in the late 14th century, it meant “decreed by fate.” It seems this word took a pessimistic turn over time, becoming synonymous with the one thing most deemed destined by fate—tragedy.

But what does all of this linguistic exploration mean for you and me?

We should all aspire to get FAT. Plant the seeds of our boldest dreams. Nurture them with unwavering FAiTh in their realization. Be prepared for the FATigue that will accompany the hard work. Acknowledge the hand of FATe, that which seems preordained. Seek to fathom the depths of understanding through your journey. And, whether for better or worse, don’t shy away from the FAtal aspects of life—those that feel fated.

Ultimately, we all reach an end, but if we’re willing to get FAT, perhaps our journey’s conclusion will align with our deepest desires. So, my message to you is simple: Go out there and get FAT today. Embrace the inception, the faith, the fatigue, the fate, the understanding, and even the seemingly fated, for they all play a part in our extraordinary journey.

Get started on your FAT today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Defying Gravity and Fear

Pete Huryk

My mother is an extraordinary cook. Her culinary creations are celebrated by both family and friends. Her cookies are legendary, her macaroni and cheese is simply sensational, and I’ve been told her apple pie is second to none. I don’t like apple pie, so I can’t say! I want to begin by showering her with praise because, despite her remarkable culinary skills, my mom has a bit of a reputation for being, well, a bit clumsy. She has an uncanny ability to attract accidents. In fact, she once managed to break her ankle without even taking a tumble. Gravity and my mother aren’t exactly best friends – it’s a force that occasionally wreaks havoc in her life.

Gravity, in its essence, is a force that pulls us downward, but in a more profound sense, it’s a force that challenges us to lift ourselves up. While gravity might seem like an overwhelming adversary, it’s actually a relatively modest resistance that we face daily. As a species, we’ve developed various ways to overcome this force, from building airplanes to performing breathtaking acrobatics. Our problem today isn’t that we can’t conquer resistance; it’s that we rarely encounter enough of it.

In our modern world, daily challenges often amount to little more than minor irritations. With such minimal resistance against us, we should be able to soar to great heights, almost defying gravity itself. Yet, we don’t. The reason is quite simple: we’re afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of taking off only to fall, afraid of the possibility that someone might witness our mishaps and laugh.

Gravity is a force of nature, a constant that we cannot control or eliminate. We didn’t create it, but we’ve found ways to work around it. Why, then, can’t we do the same with fear? Unlike gravity, fear is a construct of our minds, something we create. So, circumventing it or banishing it entirely is well within our reach. We have the capacity to fashion our own wings and take flight, free from the shackles of fear that hold us down.

So where are you tied to the ground but you should soaring? Is a real obstacle holding you down or just your fear of taking action? Either way there is bound to be a way around it! It’s up to you to find or stay pinned to the ground. More than anything, the choice is yours. Face fear or live under its thumb!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Game of Now

Pete Huryk

In a nation that’s fervently obsessed with sports, where stadiums are revered and athletes command colossal salaries, we’re often reminded of our deep-rooted passion for competition. Championships and winning seasons are celebrated with grandeur, showcasing our reverence for results. Yet, amidst this overwhelming obsession with competition and achievement, we frequently overlook the most meaningful game of all.

The Unseen Game: What’s the game we often disregard? It’s the game of NOW. This game doesn’t have a stadium, a scoreboard, or a roaring crowd. It’s an intangible, relentless contest played out in the moments of our lives. Each moment can be won or lost, and NOW is the only game that truly matters. The opponents are countless, but we’ll name a few: laziness, procrastination, fear, indifference, foolishness, and the ever-alluring promise of “later.”

Conquering NOW: NOW isn’t a game you can afford to lose. It’s a game where you call the shots, set the rules, and choose your opponents. In essence, it’s a rigged game if you decide to seize control of it.

The Decision: Today, right now, make a decision. Ask yourself, “How do I win this moment?” Challenge yourself to string together a series of winning moments in life. Have you been losing without even realizing it? Life, in so many ways, resembles a game. And in this game, remember—you’re not just a player; you’re the referee and the scorekeeper. Most importantly, don’t forget to lace up and start playing NOW!

Conclusion: In a nation that worships the competitive spirit, let’s not overlook the most crucial competition of all—life itself. The game of NOW is a constant, ever-present challenge. It’s a contest where victory is determined by your choices, actions, and mindset. As you step into the arena of each moment, remember that you hold the power to emerge victorious. So, embrace the game, define your rules, and make every moment a winning one. Your life is the ultimate battleground—play it skillfully and cherish every victory along the way.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Train Wreck or Car Wreck?

Pete Huryk

Given the choice, would you prefer to be involved in a train wreck or a car wreck? It’s a question I’ve posed to friends and acquaintances, and the responses vary. However, more often than not, someone will respond with, “I don’t want either.” In my view, that’s the wisest answer. Opting to avoid experiencing trauma and pain is a sound and straightforward decision, especially when we consider the physical aspects of such accidents. While it’s impossible to directly compare train wrecks and car wrecks, there are some general differences to consider: train wrecks are typically more public and involve a larger number of people, while car wrecks tend to be less public and affect fewer individuals.

In our reality TV-saturated world, we encounter numerous examples of human “train wrecks.” It seems we’re almost obsessed with finding individuals who appear to be at the lowest point of humanity. It’s a troubling reality that many in the public seem to crave witnessing those who are “worse” off than they are. Depending on personal preferences, one can watch the unfortunate lives of teenage mothers, millionaire’s wives, aspiring youth beauty queens, young cheerleaders, and the list goes on. After just half an hour of watching, it’s easy to feel vastly superior to the person at the center of that “train wreck” of a life.

The issue arises when people who are watching may actually be living a “car wreck” of a life but feel better by comparison. Their life may not be as terrible or as publicly scrutinized as the “train wreck” on the screen. Instead of striving to live the best life possible, we often seem determined to find examples of those who are worse off than us. This comparative mindset serves us little good, especially when those we are comparing ourselves to have set the bar so low.

This tendency isn’t limited to the world of reality television; it extends to the classroom as well. Have you ever felt disappointed about the grade you received on a quiz or test, only to feel better when you notice your neighbor received a lower score? Instead of measuring our potential, we often measure ourselves against what makes us feel comfortable in our current situation. This strategy is unwise, as it leads us to settle for less than our true potential.

So, if you find that your life is in disarray, don’t seek solace in comparing yourself to someone with a worse life. Instead, gather the pieces, tend to your wounds, and get back on the road to self-improvement.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Embracing Failure!

Pete Huryk

Nobody welcomes failure with open arms. It often feels like that “not-so-attractive” girl who’s had a crush on you since second grade. Imagine you’re at the school dance, and she’s the only one who asks you for a slow dance. What would you do? Reject her, hoping that a more attractive partner will come along? Well, not quite. You’d dance.

  1. Learning through Failure: The first step in embracing failure is recognizing that it’s not the end of the world. Just like that not-so-attractive girl, failure has something to offer, too. It’s a chance to learn and grow. Failure teaches us valuable lessons that success often can’t. Each misstep provides an opportunity to refine our skills and strategies.
  2. Building Resilience: Dancing with failure builds resilience. Rejecting her might seem like the easy way out, but it won’t make you stronger or more experienced. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, and it’s a trait highly valued in both personal and professional life. The more you face failure, the more resilient you become.
  3. Embracing Imperfection: Nobody is perfect, and nothing starts off that way either. Ideal opportunities are often the result of many imperfect attempts. By dancing with failure, you acknowledge that growth is a process, and perfection is rarely the starting point. It’s the imperfect steps that eventually lead to something great.
  4. Preparing for Ideal: When you learn to dance with failure, you’re not just settling. Instead, you’re preparing yourself for when the ideal opportunity finally arrives. By then, you’ll have honed your skills, developed resilience, and embraced the imperfections of the journey. You’ll be ready to seize the moment.
  5. Overcoming Fear: Fear of failure can be paralyzing. But when you’re willing to dance with failure, you diminish that fear. You understand that failure is just a temporary setback, not a permanent label. This newfound courage can help you take risks and pursue your goals more boldly.
  6. A Humble Perspective: Dancing with failure also keeps you grounded and humble. It reminds you that success is not always guaranteed and that setbacks are a part of life. This humility can make you more approachable and relatable to others, enhancing your relationships and leadership qualities.

So, next time failure extends her hand, don’t hesitate to dance. It might just be your ticket to a brighter future.