Tag: focus

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Other Hard

Pete Huryk

It was literally freezing cold this morning at 6:45 when I went out for my run. My knee was aching a it and that one hill on my loop is a monster! The cold air burns a bit more in my lungs as my legs churn slowly up the incline. Whenever I talk about morning runs, triathlons, ice baths or the like, a large percentage of people say silently or aloud “no thanks!” It’s not that they can’t do those things. They choose not to and that’s ok. They may be choosing the “other hard.”

One of the reasons why we choose not to do things is that they are “hard.” Getting up early to workout, getting the grades required for acceptance into Harvard, becoming a neurosurgeon, winning a State Championship, etc. are all difficult in their own right. None of them are impossible but they require a momentary or consistent choice to do the “hard” thing. Most people choose not do them and that is ok. Often, I think we’re slightly blind to the “other hard.”

Recently, something was drawn to my attention. The choice not to do the hard thing or even go to the other extreme and do the easy, results in consequences. The results of choosing the easy, often lead to the other hard. Not working out regularly, leads health issues and poor mental states. A lack of study or cheating leads to a lack of mental capability that is found out eventually. Half effort in practice leads to disappointing results on the field and sense of opportunity left on the table. 

Doing the hard thing up front, does not guarantee the results that you’re after. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nor does the shunning of the hard upfront necessarily lead to catastrophic results. There is no 100% cause effect relationship. However, the human animal was built to endure hard things and we have throughout our history. That’s how we got to this point in our development as a species. Now that the hard things are no longer thrust upon us daily, we must choose to seek them out or not. When we do hard things, we tend to feel good about ourselves and that’s a big part of the equation that’s missing for people. They want things to be easy but then feel slightly empty or disappointed by the results. The other hard is often invisible which makes it more sinister. The initial hard is honest and upfront about what it is. 

This is not a cry for everyone to live a Spartan lifestyle and forego every opportunity to enjoy life. It’s a call for clarity and responsibility. Your choices are yours to make and consequences come with them. Walk a path that you believe in and can be proud of when the consequences arrive. 

Blogpost, self-reliance

Upward Spirals

Pete Huryk

During my youth, I had the unique opportunity to visit the Statue of Liberty with my Boy Scout troop. At that time, a group of us decided to brave the ascent to the crown, a journey requiring us to conquer a long, ancient spiral staircase. I’ve seen images of renovated stairs, but back then, they were weathered and you could peer through the steps into the inner workings of Lady Liberty herself. Occasional resting platforms dotted the path, meant for those weary from the climb. But for someone like me, who’s afraid of heights, even the thought of stopping on those platforms was daunting.

As I ascended that stairwell, a worst-case scenario crossed my mind: What if someone tumbled backward while climbing? Packed tightly, one person’s misstep could spell disaster for all. My dizziness and nausea started to creep in. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I was facing forward. If I did fall, I would land on my face on the steps, but at least I’d be okay. By the time I reached the crown, I barely took a glance at the view. As I turned around, my prior fear confronted me anew. The descent presented the same possibility of falling, but now I was facing that direction. For my younger self, it was a nerve-wracking and scary experience, and I despised every moment of that descent. So much so that I can’t even recall who convinced me to embark on this ordeal because it was precisely that bad.

Downward spirals in life can be equally nerve-wracking and terrifying. Things often seem normal at first, but then a series of setbacks starts to nudge you slightly off your upward trajectory. It’s like the gradual descent on that Statue of Liberty staircase. Your perspective gets faced away from your goal to the fear of a fall. However, it’s crucial to understand that the staircase itself isn’t wavering; it’s you.

In such moments, remember that you are not helpless. Take a breath. Pause and reflect on your path. Ask yourself if the “crown” you’re striving for is genuinely worth it. If it is, refocus on your goal and take the next step forward. Falling on your face while climbing upward is still not problematic.

Your fear of a fall can either be your enemy or your ally. When it encourages you to focus on the process and take each step carefully, it becomes your ally. But if it makes you nervous and causes you to freeze, then it’s your enemy. You have the power to choose how you perceive and utilize fear. Transform it into a driving force that keeps you grounded and aware of your journey.

And here’s a crucial perspective: If you’re going to fall (or fail), do so while moving forward. Every stumble is an opportunity to learn, to pick up new information, or to understand what doesn’t work. In essence, fall forward. Gain something from your missteps, even if it’s just the wisdom to navigate future challenges better.

So, as you navigate life’s spiral staircase that can be overwhelming, remember that you have the power to choose your perspective. The crown is within reach if you stay focused and resilient.

The difference between an upward and downward spiral is focus.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Let’s Get FAT!

Pete Huryk

I’m passionate about languages! They’re an agreement that we use to express ourselves to other people. They can stir emotions and ignite contemplation. In our daily lives, it’s easy to overlook the fact that many of the words we casually use have been around hundreds or even thousands of years. These words evolve, meanings shift, and their original connections can get obscured. This realization struck me during my morning run while engrossed in a podcast. The host mentioned a “fatal error” made by a business, and my mind fixated on the word “fatal,” leading me down a linguistic rabbit hole.

Within this word exploration, I stumbled upon five words that resonated: fate, fatigue, faith, fathom, and father. This intriguing word salad prompted me to reflect on the intricate processes we all navigate in life.

Every aspiration, project, vocation, or calling begins with a seed—the FATher. It’s the inception, the spark of an idea that ignites the journey. Once we embark, we must have FAiTh, for it serves as the relentless fuel propelling us forward—a belief in the unseen when evidence is scarce. Along this path, we encounter FATigue—the weariness inherent in the exhaustive effort required to bring our dreams to fruition.

Then there’s FATe—an element that appears preordained, unstoppable, simply meant to be. Fathom enters the scene, not just as a unit of measurement but as the quest for understanding, a vital component of our journey. Finally, we arrive at the word that initiated this linguistic adventure—FATal.

Delving into the origins of “FATal,” I discovered that in the late 14th century, it meant “decreed by fate.” It seems this word took a pessimistic turn over time, becoming synonymous with the one thing most deemed destined by fate—tragedy.

But what does all of this linguistic exploration mean for you and me?

We should all aspire to get FAT. Plant the seeds of our boldest dreams. Nurture them with unwavering FAiTh in their realization. Be prepared for the FATigue that will accompany the hard work. Acknowledge the hand of FATe, that which seems preordained. Seek to fathom the depths of understanding through your journey. And, whether for better or worse, don’t shy away from the FAtal aspects of life—those that feel fated.

Ultimately, we all reach an end, but if we’re willing to get FAT, perhaps our journey’s conclusion will align with our deepest desires. So, my message to you is simple: Go out there and get FAT today. Embrace the inception, the faith, the fatigue, the fate, the understanding, and even the seemingly fated, for they all play a part in our extraordinary journey.

Get started on your FAT today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Defying Gravity and Fear

Pete Huryk

My mother is an extraordinary cook. Her culinary creations are celebrated by both family and friends. Her cookies are legendary, her macaroni and cheese is simply sensational, and I’ve been told her apple pie is second to none. I don’t like apple pie, so I can’t say! I want to begin by showering her with praise because, despite her remarkable culinary skills, my mom has a bit of a reputation for being, well, a bit clumsy. She has an uncanny ability to attract accidents. In fact, she once managed to break her ankle without even taking a tumble. Gravity and my mother aren’t exactly best friends – it’s a force that occasionally wreaks havoc in her life.

Gravity, in its essence, is a force that pulls us downward, but in a more profound sense, it’s a force that challenges us to lift ourselves up. While gravity might seem like an overwhelming adversary, it’s actually a relatively modest resistance that we face daily. As a species, we’ve developed various ways to overcome this force, from building airplanes to performing breathtaking acrobatics. Our problem today isn’t that we can’t conquer resistance; it’s that we rarely encounter enough of it.

In our modern world, daily challenges often amount to little more than minor irritations. With such minimal resistance against us, we should be able to soar to great heights, almost defying gravity itself. Yet, we don’t. The reason is quite simple: we’re afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of taking off only to fall, afraid of the possibility that someone might witness our mishaps and laugh.

Gravity is a force of nature, a constant that we cannot control or eliminate. We didn’t create it, but we’ve found ways to work around it. Why, then, can’t we do the same with fear? Unlike gravity, fear is a construct of our minds, something we create. So, circumventing it or banishing it entirely is well within our reach. We have the capacity to fashion our own wings and take flight, free from the shackles of fear that hold us down.

So where are you tied to the ground but you should soaring? Is a real obstacle holding you down or just your fear of taking action? Either way there is bound to be a way around it! It’s up to you to find or stay pinned to the ground. More than anything, the choice is yours. Face fear or live under its thumb!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Game of Now

Pete Huryk

In a nation that’s fervently obsessed with sports, where stadiums are revered and athletes command colossal salaries, we’re often reminded of our deep-rooted passion for competition. Championships and winning seasons are celebrated with grandeur, showcasing our reverence for results. Yet, amidst this overwhelming obsession with competition and achievement, we frequently overlook the most meaningful game of all.

The Unseen Game: What’s the game we often disregard? It’s the game of NOW. This game doesn’t have a stadium, a scoreboard, or a roaring crowd. It’s an intangible, relentless contest played out in the moments of our lives. Each moment can be won or lost, and NOW is the only game that truly matters. The opponents are countless, but we’ll name a few: laziness, procrastination, fear, indifference, foolishness, and the ever-alluring promise of “later.”

Conquering NOW: NOW isn’t a game you can afford to lose. It’s a game where you call the shots, set the rules, and choose your opponents. In essence, it’s a rigged game if you decide to seize control of it.

The Decision: Today, right now, make a decision. Ask yourself, “How do I win this moment?” Challenge yourself to string together a series of winning moments in life. Have you been losing without even realizing it? Life, in so many ways, resembles a game. And in this game, remember—you’re not just a player; you’re the referee and the scorekeeper. Most importantly, don’t forget to lace up and start playing NOW!

Conclusion: In a nation that worships the competitive spirit, let’s not overlook the most crucial competition of all—life itself. The game of NOW is a constant, ever-present challenge. It’s a contest where victory is determined by your choices, actions, and mindset. As you step into the arena of each moment, remember that you hold the power to emerge victorious. So, embrace the game, define your rules, and make every moment a winning one. Your life is the ultimate battleground—play it skillfully and cherish every victory along the way.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Train Wreck or Car Wreck?

Pete Huryk

Given the choice, would you prefer to be involved in a train wreck or a car wreck? It’s a question I’ve posed to friends and acquaintances, and the responses vary. However, more often than not, someone will respond with, “I don’t want either.” In my view, that’s the wisest answer. Opting to avoid experiencing trauma and pain is a sound and straightforward decision, especially when we consider the physical aspects of such accidents. While it’s impossible to directly compare train wrecks and car wrecks, there are some general differences to consider: train wrecks are typically more public and involve a larger number of people, while car wrecks tend to be less public and affect fewer individuals.

In our reality TV-saturated world, we encounter numerous examples of human “train wrecks.” It seems we’re almost obsessed with finding individuals who appear to be at the lowest point of humanity. It’s a troubling reality that many in the public seem to crave witnessing those who are “worse” off than they are. Depending on personal preferences, one can watch the unfortunate lives of teenage mothers, millionaire’s wives, aspiring youth beauty queens, young cheerleaders, and the list goes on. After just half an hour of watching, it’s easy to feel vastly superior to the person at the center of that “train wreck” of a life.

The issue arises when people who are watching may actually be living a “car wreck” of a life but feel better by comparison. Their life may not be as terrible or as publicly scrutinized as the “train wreck” on the screen. Instead of striving to live the best life possible, we often seem determined to find examples of those who are worse off than us. This comparative mindset serves us little good, especially when those we are comparing ourselves to have set the bar so low.

This tendency isn’t limited to the world of reality television; it extends to the classroom as well. Have you ever felt disappointed about the grade you received on a quiz or test, only to feel better when you notice your neighbor received a lower score? Instead of measuring our potential, we often measure ourselves against what makes us feel comfortable in our current situation. This strategy is unwise, as it leads us to settle for less than our true potential.

So, if you find that your life is in disarray, don’t seek solace in comparing yourself to someone with a worse life. Instead, gather the pieces, tend to your wounds, and get back on the road to self-improvement.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Embracing Failure!

Pete Huryk

Nobody welcomes failure with open arms. It often feels like that “not-so-attractive” girl who’s had a crush on you since second grade. Imagine you’re at the school dance, and she’s the only one who asks you for a slow dance. What would you do? Reject her, hoping that a more attractive partner will come along? Well, not quite. You’d dance.

  1. Learning through Failure: The first step in embracing failure is recognizing that it’s not the end of the world. Just like that not-so-attractive girl, failure has something to offer, too. It’s a chance to learn and grow. Failure teaches us valuable lessons that success often can’t. Each misstep provides an opportunity to refine our skills and strategies.
  2. Building Resilience: Dancing with failure builds resilience. Rejecting her might seem like the easy way out, but it won’t make you stronger or more experienced. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, and it’s a trait highly valued in both personal and professional life. The more you face failure, the more resilient you become.
  3. Embracing Imperfection: Nobody is perfect, and nothing starts off that way either. Ideal opportunities are often the result of many imperfect attempts. By dancing with failure, you acknowledge that growth is a process, and perfection is rarely the starting point. It’s the imperfect steps that eventually lead to something great.
  4. Preparing for Ideal: When you learn to dance with failure, you’re not just settling. Instead, you’re preparing yourself for when the ideal opportunity finally arrives. By then, you’ll have honed your skills, developed resilience, and embraced the imperfections of the journey. You’ll be ready to seize the moment.
  5. Overcoming Fear: Fear of failure can be paralyzing. But when you’re willing to dance with failure, you diminish that fear. You understand that failure is just a temporary setback, not a permanent label. This newfound courage can help you take risks and pursue your goals more boldly.
  6. A Humble Perspective: Dancing with failure also keeps you grounded and humble. It reminds you that success is not always guaranteed and that setbacks are a part of life. This humility can make you more approachable and relatable to others, enhancing your relationships and leadership qualities.

So, next time failure extends her hand, don’t hesitate to dance. It might just be your ticket to a brighter future.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Same Old, Same Old

Pete Huryk

It’s easy to get fed up with the “same old, same old.” The monotony of repetitive activities can eat away at you. Until access to the tried and true is no longer available. Lamenting that which you have is probably not the best strategy for fulfillment. No doubt, strive for new. Go for better! But don’t discount now because you’re blind to its beauty. The same old is neither the same nor is it old.

It’s now!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

It’s a Cheap Trick!

Pete Huryk

There are only a handful of songs that I remember exactly when and where I heard them. “Iris” by Goo Goo Dolls is the most memorable but “I want you to want me” by Cheap Trick is a close second. I was at a pizzeria in Michigan while visiting my ex girlfriend in the summer between high school and college. It’s actually surprising that I’d never heard it before! The tune and lyrics are so catchy with the repetition of want, need and beg.

The world often doesn’t work the way that we’d like. In the minds of many, people should give us what we want. This is especially prominent with kids. They want what they want and can’t understand why they can’t get it… NOW! But the truth of the matter is that a smart adult who truly cares gives them what they need. We all need those people in our lives. The ones who do not simply give in to our temporary desires but can see a better future beyond the moment. The needs that we may not even realize that we have are the focus of their efforts.

So realizing that the tune may not work, the message is clear. I’m begging you to want people in your life who give you what you need rather than what you want or beg for! Maybe even make that person yourself. If you could pull that off, it would be a grand and not so cheap trick.

I want you to need you!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Early Word Gets the Birm

Pete Huryk

Sometimes we’re so close! Everything is almost in place. Yet we fall short and it’s almost more disappointing than if we weren’t even close. The proximity to success hurts because we can almost taste it. Yet it eludes us.

The idea of not giving up is easy to say and not as easy to do. Our brain finds the chinks in our armor easily and recent “failure” is an easy one to point out. Although it may seem sinister in some ways, our minds are just trying to protect us from pain: real or perceived.

At these moments, it’s time to put your hands firmly back on the wheel. Your brain may be trying to protect you but it’s undercutting your success at the same time. The only way to get to that goal is forget about the small shortcomings and keep at it. Eventually, all foes fall to persistent action! It’s life’s game of chicken! And maybe that’s the bird that we need to be focused on!

Rise and shine! The cock is crowing!

Pete