Category: self-reliance

Blogpost, self-reliance

Train Wreck or Car Wreck?

Pete Huryk

Given the choice, would you prefer to be involved in a train wreck or a car wreck? It’s a question I’ve posed to friends and acquaintances, and the responses vary. However, more often than not, someone will respond with, “I don’t want either.” In my view, that’s the wisest answer. Opting to avoid experiencing trauma and pain is a sound and straightforward decision, especially when we consider the physical aspects of such accidents. While it’s impossible to directly compare train wrecks and car wrecks, there are some general differences to consider: train wrecks are typically more public and involve a larger number of people, while car wrecks tend to be less public and affect fewer individuals.

In our reality TV-saturated world, we encounter numerous examples of human “train wrecks.” It seems we’re almost obsessed with finding individuals who appear to be at the lowest point of humanity. It’s a troubling reality that many in the public seem to crave witnessing those who are “worse” off than they are. Depending on personal preferences, one can watch the unfortunate lives of teenage mothers, millionaire’s wives, aspiring youth beauty queens, young cheerleaders, and the list goes on. After just half an hour of watching, it’s easy to feel vastly superior to the person at the center of that “train wreck” of a life.

The issue arises when people who are watching may actually be living a “car wreck” of a life but feel better by comparison. Their life may not be as terrible or as publicly scrutinized as the “train wreck” on the screen. Instead of striving to live the best life possible, we often seem determined to find examples of those who are worse off than us. This comparative mindset serves us little good, especially when those we are comparing ourselves to have set the bar so low.

This tendency isn’t limited to the world of reality television; it extends to the classroom as well. Have you ever felt disappointed about the grade you received on a quiz or test, only to feel better when you notice your neighbor received a lower score? Instead of measuring our potential, we often measure ourselves against what makes us feel comfortable in our current situation. This strategy is unwise, as it leads us to settle for less than our true potential.

So, if you find that your life is in disarray, don’t seek solace in comparing yourself to someone with a worse life. Instead, gather the pieces, tend to your wounds, and get back on the road to self-improvement.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Embracing Failure!

Pete Huryk

Nobody welcomes failure with open arms. It often feels like that “not-so-attractive” girl who’s had a crush on you since second grade. Imagine you’re at the school dance, and she’s the only one who asks you for a slow dance. What would you do? Reject her, hoping that a more attractive partner will come along? Well, not quite. You’d dance.

  1. Learning through Failure: The first step in embracing failure is recognizing that it’s not the end of the world. Just like that not-so-attractive girl, failure has something to offer, too. It’s a chance to learn and grow. Failure teaches us valuable lessons that success often can’t. Each misstep provides an opportunity to refine our skills and strategies.
  2. Building Resilience: Dancing with failure builds resilience. Rejecting her might seem like the easy way out, but it won’t make you stronger or more experienced. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, and it’s a trait highly valued in both personal and professional life. The more you face failure, the more resilient you become.
  3. Embracing Imperfection: Nobody is perfect, and nothing starts off that way either. Ideal opportunities are often the result of many imperfect attempts. By dancing with failure, you acknowledge that growth is a process, and perfection is rarely the starting point. It’s the imperfect steps that eventually lead to something great.
  4. Preparing for Ideal: When you learn to dance with failure, you’re not just settling. Instead, you’re preparing yourself for when the ideal opportunity finally arrives. By then, you’ll have honed your skills, developed resilience, and embraced the imperfections of the journey. You’ll be ready to seize the moment.
  5. Overcoming Fear: Fear of failure can be paralyzing. But when you’re willing to dance with failure, you diminish that fear. You understand that failure is just a temporary setback, not a permanent label. This newfound courage can help you take risks and pursue your goals more boldly.
  6. A Humble Perspective: Dancing with failure also keeps you grounded and humble. It reminds you that success is not always guaranteed and that setbacks are a part of life. This humility can make you more approachable and relatable to others, enhancing your relationships and leadership qualities.

So, next time failure extends her hand, don’t hesitate to dance. It might just be your ticket to a brighter future.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Same Old, Same Old

Pete Huryk

It’s easy to get fed up with the “same old, same old.” The monotony of repetitive activities can eat away at you. Until access to the tried and true is no longer available. Lamenting that which you have is probably not the best strategy for fulfillment. No doubt, strive for new. Go for better! But don’t discount now because you’re blind to its beauty. The same old is neither the same nor is it old.

It’s now!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Last-ditch Effort

Pete Huryk

When I think of this phrase, it sparks a vision of the scene from the movie “Stand By Me” where Vern is searching for his pennies. Each time that he plunges his shovel into the ground, I’m sure that he had the hope that it would be the “last-ditch.” There is also a sense of desperation that comes with that effort.

It’s hard to know when you’ll hit “pay dirt.” There are so many factors that come into play regarding success that it’s almost impossible to predict. I suppose one of the keys is to keep believing. Supposedly Winston Churchill is quoted as saying “success is moving from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.” It’s a great thought but difficult to pull off. Each ditch that is dug takes sweat and effort. Staying equally enthusiastic is difficult.

I suppose that’s the exact point. Success is not an automatic thing and it requires the energy of enthusiasm. So hoping, believing and even pretending that the next ditch will be the “last ditch” is required to muster adequate enthusiasm. Our ancestors must have had it because we are still here. Therefore, it’s within us all to make that effort.

Keeping digging!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

It’s a Cheap Trick!

Pete Huryk

There are only a handful of songs that I remember exactly when and where I heard them. “Iris” by Goo Goo Dolls is the most memorable but “I want you to want me” by Cheap Trick is a close second. I was at a pizzeria in Michigan while visiting my ex girlfriend in the summer between high school and college. It’s actually surprising that I’d never heard it before! The tune and lyrics are so catchy with the repetition of want, need and beg.

The world often doesn’t work the way that we’d like. In the minds of many, people should give us what we want. This is especially prominent with kids. They want what they want and can’t understand why they can’t get it… NOW! But the truth of the matter is that a smart adult who truly cares gives them what they need. We all need those people in our lives. The ones who do not simply give in to our temporary desires but can see a better future beyond the moment. The needs that we may not even realize that we have are the focus of their efforts.

So realizing that the tune may not work, the message is clear. I’m begging you to want people in your life who give you what you need rather than what you want or beg for! Maybe even make that person yourself. If you could pull that off, it would be a grand and not so cheap trick.

I want you to need you!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Early Word Gets the Birm

Pete Huryk

Sometimes we’re so close! Everything is almost in place. Yet we fall short and it’s almost more disappointing than if we weren’t even close. The proximity to success hurts because we can almost taste it. Yet it eludes us.

The idea of not giving up is easy to say and not as easy to do. Our brain finds the chinks in our armor easily and recent “failure” is an easy one to point out. Although it may seem sinister in some ways, our minds are just trying to protect us from pain: real or perceived.

At these moments, it’s time to put your hands firmly back on the wheel. Your brain may be trying to protect you but it’s undercutting your success at the same time. The only way to get to that goal is forget about the small shortcomings and keep at it. Eventually, all foes fall to persistent action! It’s life’s game of chicken! And maybe that’s the bird that we need to be focused on!

Rise and shine! The cock is crowing!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

You Don’t Need…

Pete Huryk

You don’t need me or anyone else to tell you! You already know.

  • What needs to be done.
  • Who really has your back.
  • Who is probably going to let you down.
  • What you should give up.
  • What you should start.
  • What you should quit doing.
  • What price you’re willing to pay for it.

And so many other things! It’s not about the information because you already know. It’s getting past all of the excuse long enough to see things clearly and live into it. More information, validation, motivation, cooperation or any other “-ation” isn’t really the key. You just need to decide to do what you know.

Go!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

One!

Pete Huryk

It’s the start of things! Or the last thing before nothing is left! Zero to one is often a herculean effort that requires more fortitude than all the progress that comes later. Yet we often dismiss it at the beginning. Act like it’s the same as the next door neighbor, zero. When traveling on the decline, it’s far easier to see the value of one because it’s all that’s left. Teetering on the brink of empty puts one into perspective. The life-giving force that it is.

It’s funny to think how oblivious we are at times. Perhaps delusion is baked into our brains naturally but we tend to think we have unlimited time, unlimited attention and unlimited options. We don’t! And we should really know it. Not because someone wrote about it but because we’ve experienced it on both sides. The joy of single focus where time melts away. The desire for one more moment with a person lost. The recognition that by trying to do everything, nothing was done. We chide ourselves and promise to be different. Yet, when we get confronted again with the multitude, we forget about one.

This one moment is all that you truly have. It’s impossible to live every moment to the fullest because basic needs would get overrun by maximization. However, we can be cognizant of the moment know that it’s not coming back. So do what you can with it. The juxtaposition of two songs called “one” give a great perspective on the human experience of oneness. Metallica’s “One” is the story of a soldier who is injured in combat and lost his sight and his limbs. He is kept alive in an agonizing existence for the study of others while all he wants is to die. He is singular but separate. The “One” by U2 makes us all one. That we are connected and share our experiences whether painful or joyous by being one.

Our lives are meant for more than the mental masturbation that comes from being stimulated but not engaged. An endless loop of input without connection or meaning. Giving ourselves over to the only moment that exists with the idea of connecting with all that we can, that’s probably the point. We should probably try to remember that until the next time that we realize we forgot and went back to zero.

“We carry each other”

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Cliches Are So Cliche!

Pete Huryk

“It’s never too late!” and other cliches exist for a reason. They’ve been said and believed enough to be repeated. It’s not problematic if they are true enough to be helpful or helpful enough that they don’t have to be true. Yet they’re familiarity is their greatest weakness. People roll their eyes! “I already know that” is the thought running through their head. And the possibly helpful becomes ignored.

What if we leaned in? What if we discerned the quality from the crap and utilized them? What could change for the better? Everything? The proof is in the pudding and there’s only one way to find out!

One day at a time!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Brush Your Teeth and… Conquer the World

Pete Huryk

The two don’t seem like they should be in rapid succession on a “to do list” right? Brushing your teeth is such a mundane task that most people would take it off the list if they could. Conquering the world is so big and amorphous. How does one even begin to wrap their head around the concept? Genghis Khan probably came the closest when you think of access and scope. However, we now know that he had much farther to go. Even if he could have laid siege to lands on all seven continents. He could not effectively manage them in his time. The world is just too big!

There’s a lot of space in between these two concepts but it’s easy to get stuck at one extreme or the other. Maintenance is a necessary component to life. But it’s also a convenient place to hide. The “have to’s” on our list can overrun our lives if we let them and we would feel justified in never going beyond because we “had to…” It’s also easy to get stuck with our heads in the clouds. Thinking of all the distant horizons that we’ll conquer when the time is right and the stars align. Until that time comes, nothing else much happens. Spirts of activity give the impression of forward progress but the amount of territory acquired on the world conquest is quite minimal.

To be honest, I’m not sure what the best strategy is for getting “the most” out of life. There is a break even point with many things like fuel efficiency and speed. There is a mathematical equation to find that equilibrium. With humans, I doubt there’s a true way to figure it out. It may just be one of those things that we have to feel our way through. After we brush our teeth of course!

Pete