Author: Pete Huryk

I'm an author and public speaker from New Jersey. My topics are usually aimed toward teenagers and range from self-esteem/self-reliance to peak performance in sports.
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The Honey Boo Boo Effect (The Bannister Inverse)

Pete Huryk

Yesterday I described the amazing capability of humans to achieve great things by following in the footsteps of those who have stretched the limits.  Unfortunately there is the other side of that coin.  Although people can stretch their limits to reach amazing heights, there are just as many people digging toward the depths.

Humans have gone through many different periods of existence.  We had the hunting age, the agricultural age, industrial age and possibly the information age.  At the moment we seem to be locked in the entertainment age where the sole desire of people is to be entertained for the moment.

Unfortunately this age lacks substance and gives the power of attention to people who don’t really deserve it.  Honey Boo Boo, Snookie, the Kardashians and others are much like a lollipop or hard candy.  They’re intended to be a quick treat to the senses, not a major part of your diet.

In life there are many types of currency that you will use, two of the most valuable are time and attention.  Spend most of your time and pay most of your attention to the people who matter: family, friends and people of substance.  When you spend time and pay attention to people of substance, much like your diet you become what you consume.

Although you have a ton people being thrust into your face who seem to lower the bar, it is your choice to let them influence you or not.  “Who is more foolish?  The fool or the fool who follows him?” –Obi Wan Kenobi

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The Bannister Effect

Pete Huryk

BannisterOn May 6th in 1954, Roger Bannister broke the World Record for running the mile. He was the first man to run one mile in under four minutes. Many runners had attempted the run but all had failed until Bannister. Although he is remembered for “breaking” something, I contend that what he created was much more important: possibility.

The key to Bannister’s run is that he opened the door of possibility for other people to do the same*. He pushed the edge of what humans were capable of doing. All it takes is one person to show us that our limits are not what we thought they were. Lindberg, Edison, Robinson and countless others swept aside the past to show a brighter future with fewer limits. It seems to be the natural order of things that when the bar is raised, we rise to the occasion to meet it. From my own life, I know that my father was the first in his family to go to college. It is no longer a novelty. All of my brothers and I attended college. The Bannister Effect could be found in many people’s lives.

Is the difference between impossible and possible only a matter of time? How many people told Bannister he couldn’t before he did? How many people scoffed at Lindberg before he was cheered in Paris? How many people turned a blind eye to Edison before they saw the light?

The critics will always be there and their ridicule of your dream will be true, until it’s not. In the end if you give up, they’ll have their “I told you so” moment and everyone will move on. If you persevere and triumph, they’ll stand silent and everyone will move up. I would love to see you rise up rather than give up.

*Additional information: World Records for the mile date back to the 1850s.  The time slowly and incrementally decreased over the next ninety years when Gunder Hägg of Sweden ran a 4:01.4.  Then it took ten years before Bannister broke through the four-minute barrier.  Six weeks later, Bannister’s record was broken.  Today his time from 1954 is six seconds slower than the high school record for the mile.

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The Search for the Perfect Excuse

Pete Huryk

The perfect excuse is difficult to find.

  • It needs to be believable but not overly obvious.
  • It needs to take all blame and strategically place it somewhere else.
  • It cannot offend or degrade anyone that is important to you.
  • It must leave your desire completely intact: I wanted to but I couldn’t because…
  • It must be new. Reused excuses get tiresome.
  • It does not particularly have to be based in reality.

The problem with the search for the perfect excuse is that we might find it.  Or worse, we might find it and believe it ourselves.

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

Winning vs. Leading

Pete Huryk

DaxGoalAs a teacher of language, I often find fault with the English language.  It falls short in many ways.  It breaks its own rules.  Pronunciation is ambiguous and changes happen all the time.  Probably my biggest gripe with English is that many of the things we say are either misleading or cause us to look at things in a way that does not serve us.

One instance of this vocabulary problem is from my position as a coach.  The phrase “we’re winning” needs to go.  It is something that I know I’ve said before because it’s what prompted me to write this post.  Winning is worthless until you have won.  Even worse is realizing that you’re winning causes a sense of comfort and a change in attitude toward the game.

Until you’ve won, you’re leading.  Leading does not imply a result but rather a process.  Leading means that you’re ahead of the opponent but they are still there.  Leading is something that can be taken away if you let it.  Leading is difficult and a struggle.  It takes effort and focus to lead until the end but if you want to win, it’s what you have to do.

Don’t let the word trick you.  You’re not winning or losing.  Either you’re leading or you’re trailing!

Don’t stop until you’ve won!

Pete

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The Downward Spiral

Pete Huryk

LadyLibertyWhen I was young, my Boy Scout troop took a trip to the Statue of Liberty.  I’m not sure who talked me into it but a group of us decided to go up to the crown.  If you’ve never been there, in order to get up to the crown, you need to take a long spiral staircase.  I’ve looked at pictures of the present day stairs and they seem to have improved them.  However when I visited, the stairs looked very old and you could see through the steps into “guts” of Lady Liberty.  About every fifty feet or so there was a little platform, which I guess was intended for tired people to rest on.  For someone who is afraid of heights like me, the climb was bad enough but stopping on that platform was out of the question.

As I was climbing those steps on that day, a thought occurred to me about the worst-case scenario.  What if someone fell backwards as you were climbing?  We were packed like sardines in this stairwell, if one went we all would go.  I felt myself getting slightly dizzy and nauseated.  The only thing that made the upward spiral bearable was the fact that I was facing and leaning forward.  If I did fall, I would end up face down on the steps but I’d be ok.  By the time I finally reached the crown, I only took a cursory glance at the view.  As I turned the corner, the realization of my prior fear was fully in front of me.  The downward spiral had all of the possibility of falling but now I was facing and leaning in that direction.  For my younger self, it was nerve-wracking and scary.  I hated every moment of that descent.  So much so that I’m surprised that I don’t remember who talked me into going because it was exactly “THAT BAD”.

Downward spirals are scary and nerve-wracking in life as well.  Everything seems normal at first but then something puts you just a little off from your climb upward.  Then another thing hits you and another, until you are turned around and no longer looking forward toward your goal but backward toward the fall.  The staircase is not wavering; it is you.  You have taken these little setbacks to mean that you are going to fall.  This is not the time to start flailing or grabbing onto people to bring down with you.  It is time to take a moment and get some perspective.  Breathe!!!

You are not helpless.

  • Decide if the crown is worth it. I would have gladly gotten off of that staircase had that been an option.
  • If the crown is worth it, then refocus on the crown and take the next forward step.
  • Your fear of the fall can be your enemy or your ally. If it causes you to focus on the process and take steps carefully, it is your ally. If it causes you to be nervous and freeze up, then it’s your enemy. Make fear your ally.
  • Fall forward! If you’re going to fall (fail), make sure that you gain some ground with that fall. You learn something; pick up new information or even just figure out what doesn’t work.

I wish you all the best on your upward spirals!

 

 

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Mediocrity Man

Pete Huryk

Hollywood is regularly churning out super hero movies and their sequels. At the moment they seem to be almost a sure thing at the box office. Iron Man, Spider Man, Batman and Captain America all seem to capture the imagination of the people as they pay big movie theater prices to see these super humans. It is obvious that “super” is what the people want to see.

What if there was a hero named Mediocrity Man? He had super powers that were inside of him but he was afraid of them. Any time that he saw himself do something out of the ordinary, he would instantly recoil and deny his abilities. Rather than keeping his secret identity from everyone else, he would hide or deny his powers to himself. What if Clark Kent never changed into Superman? Would you watch that movie? Of course not.

If this hero existed, why would he hide his powers? The reasons would be the same that you or I don’t do the things that would produce greatness.

  • It’s too hard.
  • It will take too long.
  • I might not succeed.
  • Or worse, I might succeed and the people would expect more out of me.
  • I don’t want people to make fun of me.
  • No one in my family, town, state or country has ever done it before, who am I to be first?

Imagine the Earth being filled with superheroes. What if people were getting most out of themselves every single day? What would that look like? I’ve been Mediocrity Man. I’ve traded in my cape for a t-shirt on a regular basis. Feeling comfortable in the cape is difficult because I know all of my faults, all of my weaknesses and every way that I have ever screwed up. The hero in the movie never falls for long. He gets his super powers and continues on until the world is safe again. For us regular heroes, it’s not a magic movie moment involving a radioactive spider or the destruction of Krypton that begins our ascent. It’s a consistent decision to be the best form of ourselves.

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Development and Maintenance are SEXY

Pete Huryk

Sexy is a favorite word for a friend and colleague of mine. At times I feel like his use of the word is misplaced, like when Paris Hilton used to describe everything as “HOT”. In the end I know why words like HOT, COOL and SEXY become the go to words for some people. Even if they are slightly misused, they get the reaction of attention. So I am going for the attention grab but I’m going to take it a step further and argue that Development and Maintenance are SEXY!

First the attention grab, what are the things out there that warrant the word SEXY? Maybe your favorite model in a swimsuit is SEXY. Your favorite sports car could be SEXY. A move or a wonder striker by your favorite player could warrant the word SEXY. All of these and other things could be considered SEXY. And in our Instagram and Youtube World it is easy to pull up SEXY and admire it almost anywhere you want. You can share SEXY in an instant. Friends and possibly family will get a chance to see that SEXY thing on your computer, phone or tablet. We know SEXY when we see it. Or do we?

Sexy isn’t an accident. It doesn’t happen all on its own. It takes time. That photo or video clip doesn’t show where sexy comes from. It only shows the end product. That model went through years of development where she didn’t look like she does now. Then the maintenance involved in keeping a body firm, hair flowing, and other hair tweased or waxed away. The sports car took several engineers countless hours to develop that particular model, not to mention its predecessors. Then the factory workers had to sweat and toil to put the plans into physical form, pouring hot metal into pieces to be assembled with plastic and fabric. The player spent days or months by himself with the ball. The end of practice for most was the beginning of practice for him. The idea, that someone else might be doing more than he was, kept him on the field, always sharpening the saw.

Development and maintenance are sexy because they are the start. They are the streams that eventually flow into Niagara Falls. No one wants to see the streams but you would notice if the streams weren’t there because the falls would dry up. The root may be under ground and dirty but the fruit is nothing without the root. So I implore you to be sexy, so that you can eventually be SEXY.

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Why Not You?

Pete Huryk

There are many things out there that I’m sure you would like to have, do or be. The only question I have is “Why not you?” Is there really anything insurmountable standing in your way? Who is really trying to stop you? Or do you stop yourself before you even start?

If you’re really afraid, start out small. Do something that seems like it would be hard. Once you’ve done that, do something that seems really hard. Then do something that seems like it would be impossible. I hope that you have some good failures through this process and you learn that failure isn’t fatal.

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Embracing Failure

Pete Huryk

No one wants failure. It is the “not so attractive” girl that has had a crush on you since the second grade. She is the only one at the school dance who asks you for the slow dance. So what do you do? Reject her and wait for opportunity to shine on you? No, you dance.

You learn from your time with failure. She is not your ideal partner but almost no one starts off with ideal. Besides if you were not willing to dance with failure, you wouldn’t know what to do if ideal asked you to dance anyway.

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Fantasy Football

Pete Huryk

Fantasy sports are a popular pass time between many people.  It is no longer a young male adult game but something that any sports fan can attempt.  For me, the only one that has ever held my attention was fantasy football.  The scoring is easy to follow and the games are only once per week.   The concept behind fantasy sports is a simple one, try to compile the best team that you can in order to earn the most points each week.  There are many different perspectives on drafting players but the overwhelming concept is filling your team with as many “superstars/point getters” as you possibly can.

I have friends and colleagues who spend hours or even days planning out their draft selections.  These choices are important.  Getting the right players off the bench each week and into the game is the key to survival.  It is natural for players to be dropped to the bench or even released from the team when more desirable players are available.

It’s easy to see when talking about sports and fantasy that compiling the best team in order to win is important.  That you would drop players that are holding you back and look to add players that will bring you forward.  Why don’t we do the same thing with our friends and acquaintances?

In many ways our friends are part of our team.  They not only support us but they also shape us.  There are acceptable norms within relationships.  Depending on your friend group, it may be unacceptable for you to smoke cigarettes.  Or if you are part of a different group, it may be expected that you smoke.  These acceptable norms are not limited to simple things like smoking.  They extend out to your expectations of life.

When you add a player like Peyton Manning to your fantasy team, you do it because he is going to get you closer to what you want because he’s an all-star.  Take a look at your friends.  Are they all-stars?  Are they helping you get to where you want to go?  Do they hold you back?

Like it or not, your friends are influencing who you are.  Did you pick them consciously and for the right reasons?  Are you going in the same direction?  Can you get where you want to go with them around?

Perhaps some of your friends need to be put on the bench or cut from the team.  This should not be a decision that is made quickly.  People can serve all kinds of purposes, so do your homework on why your friends are your friends.

Also in a very real sense the internet has made fantasy football possible when it comes to the people who influence you.  In the past, you might have been limited to your town or school.  Now you can listen to leaders of almost any kind, speak about almost any topic.  Who are you listening to today?