Author: Pete Huryk

I'm an author and public speaker from New Jersey. My topics are usually aimed toward teenagers and range from self-esteem/self-reliance to peak performance in sports.
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Smart TVs

Pete Huryk

At this point there is large portion of people who own a “smartphone”. Other smart items exist or are being developed.  I own a TV that says it’s “smart” but I’d like for you to imagine a specific type of smart TV.  What if your TV learned your viewing habits and changed the channels for you at different times of the day?  At 6 pm Seinfeld would come onto your screen because that was the show that your TV learned that you watch at 6 pm.  Your viewing schedule might look like this:

TV Schedule

 

At this point you realize that your TV life is now automatic.  This might be a great thing.  Automation can make things much more simple and less stressful.  The problem arises when the TV dictates a schedule that you no longer want.  Obviously when it is TV programs, it is easy to see that if you no longer like Seinfeld or the particular episode that you can change the channel.  The problem is when it is something inside of us, we have greater trouble “changing channels”.

Are your emotions on auto-pilot?  Does school or work put you into a stressed state?  Do you live your daily life with emotions that you want on the screen or are you a victim of your own “programming”?

Human beings are not immune to automation.  We have so many things to think about that our mind automates many things.  This can be a great thing but it can also be terrible if we are not deliberate about our automation.  Fear, jealousy, envy, anger and depression may be programs that have been automated into your system.  Do you want them there?  Or would you prefer to replace them with joy, hope, love and pride?  It is not as easy as changing the channel but it is way more important.

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Force Yourself!

Pete Huryk

hansoloI’ll admit openly that I’m a big Star Wars fan.  Although I’ve never dressed up as a Stormtrooper or been to a convention, the movies run rather deep with me.  I find the Jedi especially intriguing due to their disciplined study of their art and the use of their powers to hold up their ideals.  It is almost contradictory that my favorite character in the Star Wars universe is Han Solo.

In my house there is a longstanding argument between my son and I about the virtues of our favorite characters.  He is a Luke Skywalker fan who tries to sling mud at Solo as if the two were running for president.  More than anything I find our debate an amusing way to underscore some character traits that made me gravitate toward Han Solo in the first place.  Despite his semi-selfish appearance, he repeatedly proves his value as a friend and leader.  Obviously I know that this is a fictitious character in a movie.  It is the crossover into the real world through the actor, Harrison Ford, that brings the entire picture together.

Harrison Ford was interviewed around the time of the re-release of the original trilogy.  He was asked whether or not he believed in “the force”.  His comment was “force yourself”.  I don’t recall him elaborating any further than that but it stuck with me.  If you want to put your faith in mystical energy fields, you are absolutely welcome to do so. However in this world that I have created for myself, Ford’s advice is the perfect transition from the film to real life.

Force yourself to do those things that you think are impossible.  Force yourself to be more than you thought you could.  Force yourself to be a reliable friend and a good leader.  Force yourself because almost no one else will.

May the Fourth Be With You!

Pete

 

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Drying Cement

Pete Huryk

cementWe’ve all seen it before, the taped off section of new poured and form cement.  For many young people the temptation is overwhelming and they just have to scratch their name, a smiley face or the ever popular “f–k” to last for all eternity.  These alterations are intentional regardless of how annoying they may be to the cement artisans.  Then there are also the unintentional imprints that happen due to a miscalculation on drying time or caution tape that blows away.  Regardless, the “imperfections” sidewalks are numerous, widespread and relatively permanent.

As I was running today, I went slightly off route and encountered a sidewalk that felt like a choppy lake in a windstorm under my feet.  It just so happened that I was walking at that moment because my fitness isn’t up to snuff yet.  It instantly brought me to think of how I am much like that cement.  My habits and thoughts are like moist cement.  Some of them are seemingly permanent.  Many are deliberate.  Many more are due to carelessness and a lack of forethought.  I’m not fully dried because that only happens at death.  The truth is that I’ve got many things in my cement that make me say, “f–k!”

The best thing about my little sidewalk block is that I am the artisan and I’m the one standing guard.   Anything that ends up there permanently is through my design or indifference.  So as I look literally and figuratively into the mirror, I can be satisfied or dissatisfied with my work but it is up to me to decide to change it.  I’m not dry yet.

Be an artisan of your life today.

Pete

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Say Something Little

Pete Huryk

I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus from writing on the blog over the past week.  There are plenty of reasons why but most of them are only half true.  The most pertinent reasons are that I haven’t made a priority and I haven’t felt like I had something “big” to say.  So tonight I’m taking care of both by committing to saying something little.

I am afraid.  It is a posture that I have to deny in many ways as a father.  I am supposed to act fearless at times for the sake of my children.  That usually is not a problem because we are afraid of different things.  My kids are afraid of the dark and an internet concoction called “Slender Man” which freaked my son out last night.  Those aren’t the things that scare me.

I am afraid of what I am not.  The things I’ll give up on or fall short on.  I am afraid that for all of the words that I pound into this little keyboard that I will help no one.  My fear is that I will give in to the worst versions of myself.  I fear that the people that I love most will not see that I have tried to give them what they need instead of what they think they want.  My fear is the same as everyone’s, that I’m not enough.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I’ll begin to dance with these fears again.  Perhaps one day, like my fear of the dark, some of these fears will be gone.  Until then, I will learn to dance with them so that they don’t step on my toes so often.  They are of course the partners that I have chosen.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Beezy World

Pete Huryk

BeezyMy daughter is an amazing person especially for a six year old.  She is always coming up with entrepreneurial ventures and brilliantly off the wall ideas.  Her imagination is amazing and she has created her own world in many ways.  Most recently she has asked to have her room repainted to look like “Beezy World” (Beezy is my wife’s nickname for her).  The clouds are lower in Beezy World and the blue sky is on top.  She has also developed not just one but several languages for Beezy World including Beezy Spanish and Beezy Chinese.  It is pretty obvious that she carries this world with her on a daily basis.

Although the creation of a personal world may seem like a childish thing to do, we all do it on some level.  We all live in our own version of the world.  There are some constants and overlapping but in many ways, we carry our own world along with us.  In a very Obi-Wan sense, our world is dependent upon our point of view.  For some of us we are semi-passive and the world happens to us.  While for others of us, we are active.  The world is not what happens to us but rather our influence on our surroundings.  So the world is not as concrete as it may seem but is more the result of the ingredients that we add to it.

So the question becomes do you like the world that you carry around with you?  Is your Beezy World the one that you want painted in your room?  Or is it time to make a change?  Since you are the creator of this world, make it what you want it to be!

Carry on!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Next Layer of Skin

Pete Huryk

LifesaversStay with me on this one!  To a certain extent, I wish that each layer of my skin were a different color like a stack of Lifesavers in a rainbow progression.  Each layer would disappear over a set amount of time revealing the next color in the order.  Within a week or so, I would be red, orange, yellow, green, blue etc.  Beside the obvious reduction in racism, I think it would help get past a problem that I think many of us have.  We cannot see past ourselves.

We see ourselves as consistent beings and therefore we act and think consistently with that picture.  The truth is that we are always changing but those changes are so subtle that we do not perceive them.  So when we truly do need to change, we think that it will be difficult or that we are incapable of change.  At some point we need to recognize that we can be more than what we perceive that we are.

We need to be able to see the greatness that is on the horizon.  Our progress or lack of it is a decision.  Do we allow ourselves to see the person who is six layers of skin away?  Or do we accept the “Who I have been is who I will be.”  So the challenge is down to you.

Can you see the greatness inside of your own skin?  Are you willing to do the things necessary to dig for that person that hides underneath?  Or is your skin an imperceptible covering that gets washed down the drain of your shower along with your hopes and dreams?  If only we were multicolored and could say, “by the time I turn green I’m going to ______________!”  We are always shedding skin, so figure out what your ideal skin looks like and put it on underneath.

See the best you inside today.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

St. Benedict’s

Pete Huryk
Salisbury 1994
Salisbury 1994

There are things that carry us much farther than they ever should. Our best self often springs out of something that we take as our own even though it never really belonged to us. This is the story that has been the most influential on my playing and coaching career.
My father played for St. Benedict’s Prep in Newark. St. Benedict’s is a virtual factory of soccer talent in NJ. Several USMNT players went there. Only my father didn’t play soccer, he played football. His was one of the last classes that played football before the school closed briefly and switched over to soccer.
My father is essentially blind without his glasses. In the late 1960’s, he didn’t have the money for special goggles or contact lenses to wear while playing football. So as a middle linebacker, he basically chased blobs that wore the other teams colors. Despite his vision, he was a pretty effective defender. In the last game of the season, his team was holding onto a slim lead in the fourth quarter. My father’s assignment was to go in on a blitz. He was just about to hit the quarterback when a screen pass was looped over his head to the running back. My father turned and raced after the running back for nearly sixty yards. He came close to catching him, but the running back crossed the goal line first. My father was completely dejected because he had lost the game for his team.
A few weeks later at the football banquet, they were showing film from the season. That play came up on the screen.  It played out exactly as my father remembered it. He raced in to tackle the quarterback and got beat by a screen pass. The running back was able to outrun him to the goal line. However, with his glasses on, he saw something that he didn’t notice during the game. During the game, he hadn’t paid attention to all of the teammates he passed who were in a better position to stop the runner, but they gave up before he did.

Even though it is a football story, it has colored my career as a player and a coach. As a player, I have caught many players that I shouldn’t have just because I refused to give up.  Even when it looked hopeless!  As a coach, I have looked to instill that same level of dedication and effort into my players because giving yourself to a worthy cause is always worth it.

You don’t have to play for one of the best programs in the country to give your best effort!  Many times, chasing your dreams is going to look a lot like that play.  You’re going to be close enough to touch them but they slip away.  Do you give up or run like a partially blind man after them?  The answer to that question is going to tell you a lot about yourself.

Go get ’em!

Pete

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Anti-Now

Pete Huryk

RightNowA few years back, I had a student that was so indifferent toward his assignments that it seemed as though he was intent on wasting the moments of his life.  It is not that I believe that my subject matter is the most interesting nor the most important.  However the fervor and reckless abandon with which he wasted time made me coin the word “Anti-Now”.  His attitude seemed to go beyond procrastination into a space of total indifference toward himself.

Productivity is a sliding scale and we can never truly live each moment to the fullest.  Saving the planet while making a billion dollars and loving all of our most important people equally at the same time just seems too tall an order even for Superman.  However I do believe that it is important to make the realization that now is truly all that we have.  The past is now a memory and the future is not guaranteed.  So now is what our entire life is made of.

There is a definite balance to be struck between enjoying the moment and preparing for that uncertain future.  The only thing that I believe truly needs to be avoided is the position of being anti-now.  Taking the moment and throwing it away on purpose out of spite or indifference seems unthinkable at my age.  I suppose to a certain extent this comes with age.  At some point I hope that my former student realizes that he is running out of NOWS.  Then perhaps he will spend them with intention.

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Scarred for Life

Pete Huryk

IMG_0739 (1)On the thumb of my left hand, I have a scar that looks something like a horseshoe.  It is the result of an accident when I was in sixth grade.  My family was putting an addition on our house.  We were not wealthy by any stretch, so we had to do much of the work ourselves.  My father and I were removing a window from the old part of the house.  I’m still not sure what happened but the glass shattered.  In a very lucky instantaneous reaction, I cover my face.  I felt myself get hit, turned and saw blood.

The one sidenote that I must make about this story is that my father had been known to pass out at the sight of blood.  So at that point, I stripped off my t-shirt and started screaming at my father to get away from me.  He thought I was mad at him but then I quickly explained that I was bleeding and I didn’t want him to pass out.  I ran to the front of the house and got my mother who took me to the hospital for 18 stitches.

I am quite literally scarred for life and I couldn’t be happier that I am.  It’s not the accident that I’m happy about.  Given the choice I never would want to have a window shatter on top of me.  However my reaction to the situation is why that memory creates such a positive feeling about that mark.  In a time of crisis, I was able to keep that problem from getting worse by having two people going to the hospital.  I was response-able.

In no way do I think that we should go out looking to accumulate scars.  However there should be no shame in having them either.  They are sign that you were not insulated from life.  Life has edges that can cut.  It’s very common in today’s world to avoid the edges and play it safe.  The problem is that you can’t dull every edge nor anticipate when you’ll get cut.  So what happens to someone who has spent a lifetime avoiding those edges and they mistakenly get cut?  That wound is catastrophic because they’re not ready to be hurt.

Failure, disappointment, upset, breakups, and breakdowns are all examples of the scars of life.  Don’t pursue them but don’t be afraid of them either.  Most of the time they are a reminder of who you have become by fighting through them.

Keep fighting through my friends.

Pete

 

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Tattoo Yourself

Pete Huryk

Burning boyI don’t have any tattoos anywhere on my body.  However I know exactly what I would get if I were to ever change my mind.  Since I was a teenager “the burning boy” is an image that I had set as my tattoo of choice.  It is from the album cover of one of my favorite bands, Bad Religion.  I would remove the “crossbuster” logo from the back of his shirt.

The reason that the burning boy resonates with me is that it represents a feeling that I always want to have.  It’s not the searing pain but rather the idea of being “on fire” with passion.  The things that I have been on fire about have changed throughout the years.  In high school it was soccer and girls.  In college it was soccer and travel.  In my adult life it has been soccer, my family and helping people.

So if I’ve known for years what tattoo I would get, why have I not gone through with it?  There are many people walking around with tattoos that did not put 20 years of thought into the “ink”.  There are two reasons that I have never gone to get this tattoo done.

The first is that I don’t want my wife to have to look at it.  I’m sure that I’ll get some comments about being whipped or something like that.  However I respect my wife very much and the ways that my decisions have an effect on her life.  I don’t have to look at myself very often.  She does, so I know it is something that would not improve me for her.

The second is even more important.  I’m already wearing it.  The reason I don’t need the ink on my skin is because it goes even deeper.  It penetrates into my bones and goes down into my heart.  Inside there is a burning boy that people see every day.  Perhaps people see a slightly different representation when they see me but the basic idea should be the same.  I want people to see the tattoo that I have put on myself.  Rather than paying an artist to put a skin deep impression on me to have people know who I am.  I need to show people through my actions and attitudes who I am.  I’ve tattooed myself as we all do.  Although the Chinese character that you’ve put on your arm may say “peace” or “serenity”, it’s not worth the price of the ink if that’s not the message you put into the world through your actions.

So tattoo yourself.  Put the ink of your daily actions out into the world for everyone to see.

Keep being you people!

Pete