Over the weekend, I got the opportunity to go see Top Gun: Maverick. There are no true spoilers below other than the path is similar. That shouldn’t be a huge surprise to anyone who has seen a movie, read a book or heard an epic story. We’ve been telling the same story for centuries but just changed the names of the characters. Joseph Campbell’s works on the subject are the blueprint. We seem to love going down the “same path” with familiar friends.
The “Hero’s Journey” is one that we identify with worldwide because we’d like to put ourselves into the story. We exist from one perspective and we cannot escape that. However, hearing or seeing tales of idealized figures for us to emulate in some basic way allows us to become a bigger version of ourselves. We can see the possibility in the space between where we are and where we’d like to be. The hero’s journey is enticing because it is both predictable and exciting at once. We know that in the end everything is going to work out fine. However, the path is fraught with danger and losing people along the way is possible. It’s not a clear path, just a recognizable one.
So tomorrow, you’ll be called to action in some way. That’s how the hero’s journey always begins. Perhaps it is something small but we all get to choose whether we’ll answer the calls that come our way. We’re probably not saving the world or even a cat but we are still the protagonist in the only story that matters: our story. So no matter how identifiable your path is, find a way to get excited about the possibility that lies within it. Only you get to make that choice. We’ve been telling the same stories for generations. Now it’s your turn to write yours with your actions!
While visiting my brothers in Maryland, I did my swimming at totally different YMCA. The ceiling was so much higher than my normal location. It made the pool seem like it was shorter in distance. As if it were less than the standard 25 meters that I was used to. My times were also a bit faster which added to the confusion. In the end, I confirmed that it was my perception and not the pool that was different. The ceiling was just higher!
It’s an odd thing! Our perception can be thrown by so many things. We’d like to believe that the variables are outside of us. Unfortunately we are a variable! Our senses are nowhere near as accurate as we’d like to believe! However there is something to be learned from my swimming experience. A higher ceiling makes the distance that needs to be traveled seen shorter. It doesn’t decrease it. It only makes it seem shorter. So perhaps the lesson is that we should have higher ceilings for ourselves in order to make the work seem shorter by comparison. When our goals are close by, the component pieces to get there feel big. Grander goals actually gives us the space to feel less oppressed.
Shoot for the stars! Why the hell not? The inspiration and perspective that comes along with it will be well worth it! The practicality of most of our dreams deadens our sense of adventure and excitement. We thrive on the idea that we’re doing something BIG! Practicality isn’t our friend. It’s a low ceiling that makes everything seem close and oppressive.
This phrase has so many connotations to it! The most powerful for me is the link to the original Rocky movie and his desire simply to withstand the onslaught of a superior opponent. Later in my life, it was co-opted for a moronic song (in my opinion) by a band called Cake. I hate that I even mentioned it because it is bound to stick in my head for a while. Lately this has been a way of life. As I am preparing for my second sprint triathlon, my daily practice is quite simply to “go the distance” that I have set in front of myself. Whether it is 1000 meters in the pool or 5 miles worth of running, there is a distance to be covered and I must do it!
None of this sounds overly inspirational or grandiose. And the truth is that on the one hand it’s not! Hours in the pool, on the bike or on the run are spent largely alone with your own thoughts. Many pictures, ideas and questions pass through your mind and one of the major ones is: why am I doing this? I am not a professional athlete and my performance is bound to be largely mediocre when compared with the other people on the day of the race. So why bother? Because we don’t have to anymore!
There used to be a necessity to running long distances in order to track down an animal for the family or tribe. We no longer have to do that. So we need to put distances in front of ourselves. Some of these are metaphorical and others are literal but we need them. Our very existence cries out for us to put forth effort toward something of value. At one point, it was the hunt in order to feed ourselves and others. Now we have a much less concrete job of feeding our souls with a purpose that we must create. We must create meaning behind the distances that we cover. On the other side of those meters, kilometers and miles are hope, fulfillment, passion, love and excitement. No one else can put it there for us. We must create it, fashion it and sustain it because the truth is that we don’t have to.
Going back to the beginning, that is why the story of Rocky is so glorious. He didn’t have to go the distance. There was nothing extra for him in the way of money or accolades. He merely put it in front of himself in order to prove it to himself. “I’m going to know for the first time in my life that I weren’t just another bum from the neighborhood.” We all have a distance that we need to go. Just be sure that you’re challenging yourself. That is when things get inspirational and grandiose. If we are challenging the self that we thought that we were. Taking on the challenge of going far enough, long enough that we come out on the other side as a new person. A better version of us that is more prepared than before.
It’s easy to get caught up in how things are “supposed to be”! A speed boat is supposed to go fast, induce a rush of adrenaline and glide across the water with ease. That’s what a speedboat is supposed to do. BUT what about when it doesn’t? What happens when there is an engine malfunction or an electrical problem? The anticipation of how things are supposed to be are not connected to how they are! It’s possible that when things break down, that oars might be necessary on your speedboat.
None of us prays for hard times or difficulties. We do not want to be stranded, troubled or defeated. The reality of life is that from time to time, it’s going to happen to each of us. Those circumstances do not say anything about us as people. Falling on hard times does not make anyone a bad person. The reaction to those hard times is more important. Becoming seduced by a preconception of a status quo of ease and comfort is not likely to produce the fortitude necessary for hard times.
So OARS! Your speedboat may need them from time to time because muscles and work may have to get you “unstuck” from a situation. It may not be the picture of perfection but perhaps that forward rowing motion will get the engine started again. A speedboat may be designed for fast but that will always be a relative term. Slow is infinitely faster than standing still!
My grandmother worked at a roller rink for my entire childhood. Despite that fact, I didn’t get “good” at roller skating until there was a rink in my hometown. For a few months, at most a year, it was the place for every teenager to hang out on a Friday night. I definitely got slapped across the face for skating “too close” to a girl by my then girlfriend but I digress! Putting wheels on our feet is a recipe for disaster in so many ways but it’s similar to the way we travel through the world.
Most of us are off balance and uncomfortable but trying our best to look cool and not fall flat on our faces. Some people really have it all figured out but they often get ridiculed for trying too hard or being odd. There’s probably a portion of each of us that’s jealous of those roller maestros but getting really good would probably require a ton of experimentation and painful falls. In the end, it’s easier to stay safe and average rather than get really good at something that could prove to be a fad or get us ridiculed. Why chance it, right?
The truth is that most of the people that you’re worried about judging you for falling on your face are just as scared and will be gone in a moment. The people who came with you will help you get up if they can. If they’re off balance too maybe it’s best that they focus on themselves. You’re more than capable of getting back in your feet by yourself! All you have is an unpredictable number of songs to get in your number of laps around the floor. The disco ball is spinning and this is your chance to shine. It will surely hurt when you fall but it will probably hurt worse at the end of the night if you just played it safe!
Keeping things alive is often the order of the day. If you’re a parent of a newborn, it’s directive number one. Farmers need to keep their crops alive through nourishment and protection. CEOs and other employees are charged with keeping their company alive. CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) is a last heroic effort to save someone who is dying. It’s not a long term plan. It’s a last ditch effort! Because it’s coming from the outside! However the mechanism that is in place within your chest keeps your heart beating for a lifetime because it is designed to do so. Our dreams can work very similarly. They are easier to keep alive from within rather than from outside.
Despite the simplicity of this statement, most of us still want CPR on our dreams. We want other people, “the world” or circumstances to align in order to keep our dreams alive. The problem is that just like regular CPR, it is only a short term answer. We need to keep our dreams alive through a Continuous Passion Reinvestment. Passion is an emotional state that can breed life into almost any project but it cannot be an occasional thing! The passion for that dream needs to come as Continuously as possible. The last piece is a Reinvestment. Small successes along the way are not particularly times over-celebrate, the energy needs to be reinvested back into the project. It’s not over! Most dreams are lifelong pursuits. So never think that the heart can stop beating. It needs to be healthy and thriving.
No matter the acronym that you want to use, you need keep your dreams alive and thriving. No one else will care enough to do it for you! It needs to be like a heartbeat. Otherwise it’s just a lot of chest-pounding that may or may not do anything. The inside is where it starts!
Recognize as you begin to read that I am fully aware that Bill Gates has far more advantages over me. However, if all you do is dismiss the points below, then you forfeit access to the gift that comes from reading to the bottom.
Years – Bill Gates probably doesn’t have as many years left on the planet as I do. It’s possible that I could have some tragic accident but in lifespan possibility, I have the upper hand.
Scrutiny – I have the major advantage of fewer eyeballs watching. When I make a mistake, it’s possible that no one knows or is affected. When Bill makes a blunder, it’s possible that it could be broadcast worldwide.
Expectation – Uncle Bill has far more people counting on him for their livelihood and well-being. He’s also set the bar extremely high for himself. Sure! He can kick back and vacation for the rest of his life but any project that he takes on needs to be epic.
Villains – It’s far easier for me to ward off leeches and frenemies because there are very few people in this world looking to sponge off of someone at my station in life. Mr. Gates, on the other hand, probably has a team of people who are in charge of defending, deflecting and disabling threats inside and outside his circles.
Ceilings – Billy boy has far less room to improve in his areas of core competence. He’s already been the “best in the world” at one point. The chances of his returning to that level is unlikely.
Obviously these are all based on the simple premise of finding the weakness in something that most people would consider a strength. With the exception of time which is an opponent that we all must face; fame, responsibility and talent are all things that people desire. Am I just trying to blow sunshine up my own rear end? Hardly! This is an exercise in perspective. It’s an extreme one to be sure. Finding the chinks in the armor of someone who revolutionized the computing world and is now a humanitarian isn’t easy. However, each of us has our own advantages and disadvantages. One of the greatest is our own perspective. Rich people make themselves poor, strong people make themselves weak and beloved people feel alone because of their perspective on what they see from the world. The reverse can also be true and any gradient in between.
So it’s really on us! We have to see the world in a way that helps us move forward or lifts us up rather than holds us back. There’s evidence for both. If you look long enough, you’ll find all of the reasons why you’re disadvantaged, unlikely to succeed and useless! The same is also true that if you look long enough, you’ll find all of the reasons why you’re special, a juggernaut of talent and resourceful! It’s all in the perspective that you decide to take and no matter what anyone else tells you, you can discount them. It’s all happening upstairs! So whether you’re Bill Gates or not, you’ve got advantages that need to be used for the betterment of your life and the people that you care about. See them, believe them and be them!
Think differently! (whoops isn’t that an Apple thing?)
At a very young age, I started helping my mom bake. In the beginning, my brothers and I were given the ability to use the cookie cutters to make our favorite designs for Christmas cookies. Eventually, we added ingredients, used the mixer and all other jobs associated. My comfort in a kitchen probably comes from the fact that I’ve been doing it for so long. There are sometimes when my mom would have to follow a recipe and others when she would just “wing it” because she’d done it so many times before. After years of baking, she had all of the basic ingredients at the ready and specialty items were available when the recipe called for it. The kitchen had a spice everything that it needed. Our job was simply to add the right amount of each ingredient to get the desired result.
Life surprisingly is about the same. The problem is that most of us have gotten so used to making the same recipe that we don’t ever set ourselves up for much else. There are certain items in both baking and life that are almost always going to show up.
Flour, salt and sugar– Much like breathing, drinking and eating; these are constants in almost every single successful recipe. The question is how much and the quality of that ingredient. It’s possible to get by with poor quality in all of these but the end product is bound to suffer. Getting these right won’t particularly win you a place on the podium at the county bake-off but it can balance out mistakes in smaller quantity ingredients.
Other Ingredients– Taking on a new recipe requires looking at the list of ingredients and making sure that you have what you need. Often in life, we’ve gotten so used to making the same things, day in and day out. We never even consider or conceptualize the fact that life could be any different. The thought of breaking from that which we did yesterday is not considered because we are largely on autopilot. We are running a thought, emotion and action program that we’ve run for years possibly decades. Humans have thousands of thoughts everyday. The problem is that most of the thoughts that we are having today are the same ones that we had yesterday and the day before. The same thoughts and emotions largely lead to the same actions. Therefore change is highly unlikely unless something breaks us from our cycle. This is why traumatic events often lead to people making life altering shifts. It breaks the cycles of familiarity but we don’t need or particularly want trauma to change.
The other ingredients that are crucial to deliberate change are meditation and visualization. They do not particularly have to come in that order but both are necessary. Meditation is critical, especially today, because we need to regain control of the mind. With all that is being thrown at us in the way of stimuli, we need to take the time to detach from all of the demands that others have for our attention and put it back into the moment. If we are able to detach from all of the noise outside and get our mind quiet and it is more possible to inject new thoughts and emotional patterns.
Visualization is also a key ingredient for change because we need to be able to see a new future in our mind’s eye before it shows up in reality. The world is full of secondhand products because almost everything had to be created in the mind of someone first. The phone or laptop that you’re reading this on was an idea before it became reality. The words that I’m writing. The wire that’s carrying electricity to the light bulb where you are. It was all conceived in the mind first. If you are able to get your mind still, then focus it intently on the things that you want, you’re more likely to see that end product arrive. Of course there is action to be done! Since the thoughts and feelings need to fall into place first, they are the necessary step that brings about the action.
There are so many possible outcomes for a day. Like baking a cake, cookies or any other thing, it is your job to take the ingredients that you have and put it together into something palatable. If your situation is distasteful then you need to envision something else and take action in that direction. The ingredients cannot put itself together. That’s your job and you’ll continue to get the same old, same old until you’re willing to see something different inside of your mind.
Not sure if it was a term that was used anywhere else in the world or just in my neighborhood. A slow pitch down the middle of the plate that was primed for being smacked out of the park was called a “meatball”. Definitely not my term but it worked for elementary school kids to get their point across to each other. Sometimes a meatball was an accident and other times it was given. Regardless, you were always thankful for a meatball when it came your way. In the adult world, there aren’t many meatballs served up by the universe. That’s not the way that it works. The universe serves up opportunities, not sure things!
It’s an interesting situation in which we live! On the one hand, we’d love for things to be easy but we inherently know that something won easily is valued little. So we’re caught in some level of false hope. The hope is that big prizes are going to come to us with little effort, the lottery mentality! Unfortunately, it’s a hope that is rarely if ever realized. It is far less likely than the “meatballs” that we were sometimes served up on the playground. So if meatballs aren’t coming, can we embrace the idea that hard fast curving pitches are coming our way? That life is going to challenge us each and every time that we step up to the plate? It’s much better disposition to take because the anticipation of a meatball makes the fastball overwhelming. However, when you’re prepared for that big league style pitch, your possibility to hit it goes up and the meatballs (if they come) are welcome gift.
The opportunities are coming your way but that doesn’t mean that they will be prepackaged perfection! More than likely, they are going to challenge you in some way, shape or form. Be ready for it! Embrace it! Don’t anticipate the meatball because it takes no talent to crush it. You’re also going to feel less satisfaction about it than you will for that amazing pitch that you hit out of the park anyway!
Not sure if I’ve mentioned it before but for a few years now, my unofficial theme song has been “The Fixer” by Pearl Jam. It was a huge departure from my old one “Paranoid” by Ozzy Osbourne but… changing times! What can I say? I’m not even fully sure if theme song is the right name for it. The Fixer is just a song that partially encapsulates the way that I like to think of myself. Despite the fact that The Fixer is my “theme song”, there’s a completely different one that I’d choose as my ring entrance song. “The Pretender” by Foo Fighters… man! I must really like definite articles! Regardless there’s a different feeling to the song that encompasses you generally versus what you need to hear before moments of action.
Despite the fact that we are singular human beings with one consciousness, there are different versions of us that show up in each moment. Maintaining consistency across all facets of life would be both difficult and problematic. Being the person that you are with your best friend might be counterproductive with your father-in-law. The music of our lives would need to change with the situation. It’s not a question of inauthenticity. Each song to be played could represent a true disposition or emotion for the moment. Unfortunately the way that humans are wired means that songs that we play more often become easier to access. If we go through a prolonged period of playing sad songs, it’s completely possible that one becomes a generalized “theme song” without us meaning for it to be. The buttons on the Juke Box get conditioned to play those songs that may or may not be the greatest hits. If it were the radio, your iTunes or Spotify, that was continuously playing songs that you didn’t like, you’d probably change the station, playlist, etc. It’s not always that easy with our brains! So many of our systems are on autopilot that we sometimes forget to question whether that is getting us where we want to go. Are the songs in your head creating a life that’s a symphony or a mosh pit? I’m not judgmental! Sometimes the mosh pit is exactly where you want to be. But take note and decide!
If you’re in need of action, it’s probably not time for Franks Sinatra! If you’re in need of joy, it’s probably not time for the Cure. If you’re in need of depth, it’s probably not time for Katrina and the Waves. There’s a way that you need to be showing up in this moment of your life. Perhaps you’ve got on the wrong theme song! Give some thought to where you are and where you’re going, get the playlist ready and turn it up (or down)! You’re playing a complex concert with so many different audience members and venues. The set list isn’t always going to be perfect and you might even get booed offstage. Just be sure that you’re not lip syncing your way through life!
Huryk Unlimited 