Tag: learning

Blogpost, self-reliance

Your Life Motivation Formula

Pete Huryk

If you’ve been through a basic algebra course or just about any high school math class, you’ve probably had the “Slope Intercept” form tattooed inside your brain. If you’ve not already said it to yourself, it is y = mx + b. The reason why most people remember it or it’s taught so vehemently is that it’s chock full of simplified information. The m that goes directly next to the x represents the slope of the line (rise/run as some teach it). So the “trajectory” of the line is given to you right there in the equation. Large numbers in the slope mean a line that is skyrocketing upward. Low numbers are gradually heading upward. While negative numbers are heading downward at a rate equal to their negative slope. The other crucial number is b which represents the “y intercept”. It’s the “starting point” for the line in my discussion anyway. Whatever the b is, it’s where the line “starts” from. So a high positive b starts from a high position and goes up or down based on the slope. A negative b starts from below the x-axis and can either go down further or slope upward over time. NOW WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY LIFE? I’m so glad that you asked!

If you think of your life as a timeline, then you’re traveling along the x-axis. An hour, a day, a month or a year could be your unit of measurement but time is passing in a measurable fashion. We’re going to reverse the equation a bit and talk about your b.

Your Y Intercept: As I said above, that’s your starting point. At zero, you started someplace. Maybe you have all of the advantages in the world: supportive parents, finances, favorable bone structure, good looks, athletic ability, etc. Or maybe the opposite is true. You had a less desirable start. Advantages were few or possibly even disadvantages put your b into the negative at the beginning. Regardless of which camp you’re in, there’s nothing that can be done about that now. Your b (starting point) is a solid number.

Your m or slope: This is the only thing that you truly have control over. Although x is usually the variable, time is so constant, we know where it’s going. However we can adjust our slope. By your slope, I mean your incline or decline in any particular area. How much are you getting better (or worse) in an amount of time (rise/run)? There are some areas where you can have a massive slope upward. Others where a slow but steady increase would be great. Unlike a graph of a line though, your individual slope can change at any moment. Perhaps you have been on an exercise regiment consistently for two weeks. You’ve got a slope that is heading upward but then you take a week off. That slope is heading downward. The net effect might be slightly positive but keeping that consistent upward slope is truly what you needed.

Putting the equation together: Recognize the fact that having a consistent upward trajectory for the slope of your endeavor is key. It can overcome a disadvantaged starting position over time. However an advantageous start cannot counterbalance a negative slope forever. Eventually the work needs to be done to maintain that starting position.

So regardless of whether you’re looking to improve your finances, health or a variety of other things, this is the equation. If you can keep your slope consistently moving upward, then you can overcome any poor starting position. Unfortunately, most people become so blinded by their b that they never try to change their m. Put another way!

Your results = Momentum of action for X amount of time + Basic starting position

Give yourself a chance by impacting the one and only variable that matters. Improve your slope in order to intercept your goals!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Coming Up Short

Pete Huryk

There are two Hollywood movies that chronicle the story of Steve Prefontaine from the 1990s: Without Limits and Prefontaine. Each have their positives and negatives but I’ve gone back to Without Limits far more often. The racing scenes are done much more effectively, especially the race from Munich that uses actor footage interlaced with footage from the real race. Since the events happened in the 70s and the movies were released in the 90s, I feel no shame in spoiling the fact that Steve Prefontaine takes fourth in the 5,000 meter. Despite a herculean effort to beat the best runners of the time, he came up short.

If the movies are at all accurate, the defeat shook a man who rode very much on his confidence. We never get to find out if he would have rebounded from the defeat because he dies tragically. Although the story is one of an athlete who failed to accomplish his dream, the scenes from that race are amazing especially the end. It shows a man who gave all that he could in the moment and not have quite enough. It is glorious! Glorious? That’s right glorious. Everyone wants to win! Everyone wants to be on top but most are unwilling to do all that it takes to get there and accept the risk of coming up short.

None of us wants to lose, fail or be second best. However taking the chance that it may happen is part of the deal. The guarantees in this world are for mediocre prizes. Anything worth having requires the risk coming up short. Each of us needs to assess our own level of risk taking but be willing to take a chance on something. One thing I can say for certain is that Steve Prefontaine wanted to win that race and left a piece of himself on that track. Coming up short is not the problem, never trying for anything that mattered is!

Give something, all that you have!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Not Sure How We Got Here

Pete Huryk

The beauty of movies, history books and our memories is that they are an incomplete record of occurrences that portray themselves as complete. A narrative can be created that is streamlined and economical. It can overlook unimportant routines like brushing one’s teeth or less public friendly activities. Also it allows for missteps, mistakes and blunders to be overlooked in favor of the favorable outcomes. This does not just make for better stories. It makes for better futures because we tend to forget how nervous we were on that date that ended up going well. We also tend to give our own actions a bit more credit than they possibly deserve. A bit fortunate timing or circumstance may have played into the success that we claim for ourselves.

The problem is that the reverse is also true. Our failures tend to belong to us. We erase or edit the factors that we had little to no control over in favor of our faults. There is also a tendency to make stories have an end that comes in a reasonable timeline. Failing at diet or relationship can seem like a finished story but even movies have sequels. There is no reason why trying again is off the table. Usually it is not due to a lack of opportunity but rather a lack of desire to fail again.

Regardless of who you are, there is a backstory that has brought you here. Most of it doesn’t matter. You’ve already edited most of it out. So as you move forward be ready, willing and able to recognize those moments that will end up cut from the final story. You don’t need to be perfect. None of us is! You are doing the exact same thing as everyone else. Trying to progress through your story. At this very second, you are existing due to mixture of intent, luck, fortune, misfortune, laziness, etc. Do your utmost to step forward into this day and make it memorable in the best possible way. While also keeping in mind that if does not live up to that billing, it will probably be forgotten. Often we do not have any clue what days are going to be memorable or not, so do the best that you can with the ones that you’re given.

Action!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Man of Golden Words

Pete Huryk

Music has always been a big part of my life. Different songs have become the soundtrack to years or even decades. Some hang on even longer than that and speak almost directly to something inside. One of those songs was written by Andrew Wood. An artist that died before I even heard any of his music but his impact on me and the musical landscape lingers on. He was the lead singer of a band called Mother Love Bone which almost directly preceded Pearl Jam. In addition to that, he was the roommate of Chris Cornell who reportedly the song “Man of Golden Words” is about.

It’s a relatively simple song with mainly piano and guitar played behind lyrics that are repetitive but poignant. Admittedly, Wood and I could not be more different. The reason that you’ve most likely never heard of him or Mother Love Bone is that he died of an overdose before his band could ride the wave of the Seattle music scene in the 1990s. Probably his greatest link to fame is his former bandmates who formed Pearl Jam and a tribute “band” called Temple of the Dog which is a lyric from this song. Despite his untimely demise, his impact was undeniable on the scene of the time and on individuals like myself thirty plus years later.

Each of us has within us both the propensity to give gifts that are more meaningful than they should be and also receive the same. The man of golden words doesn’t truly live because his words are not golden to everyone. Someone will read this and take the impetus to listen to the song and not hear what I hear. AND THAT’S OK! It’s not the catalyst for them but for me it has been and continues to be a form of rocket fuel for my soul. I put things out into the world regularly with my students, through this blog and other places simply in the hope that one person might have that golden words moment. We all need them! The world is often unforgiving and at the moment, it seems to take more energy than it gives. These gifts that we can put out into the world for others to find are so extremely important. It doesn’t need to be a song or a piece of art or anything more than sharing a moment with someone that lifts them up. The idea of being stingy with what you have is common place because you might not get back what you put out. I can never give back to Andrew Wood what he has given to me but I can pay it forward.

There are other souls in this world who are in need of golden words because they are hurting or just disillusioned. Our species is not defined simply by our flesh and blood. If it were, we’d have gone extinct long ago because we are mediocre animals. The thing that separates us is the ability to put meaning to things far beyond what is true. We elevate our thoughts and ourselves to heights that we should not be able to reach. However we do it regularly when we are inspired. Each of us has the ability to give and receive these types of gifts. Look for them and don’t be afraid to give them, even when you’ll never know the recipient.

Words and music, my only tools!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Adults Don’t Want White Belts

Pete Huryk

In several martial arts practices, the white belt is given to the novice. The person who is just beginning their journey gets the symbol with no color to it. Mostly this is not an issue because the beginner is often a child who does not get overly concerned with status. A lack of knowledge or prestige is not a problem. It is a matter of fact. However adults tend to not want to be white belts. Not just in martial arts but in anything. They avoid the new and difficult in favor of the known and simple. It is an exercise in ego protection rather than a strategy for growth and fulfillment.

So many of the forces in our lives are counterproductive to our progress as people. Although things like friends, family, education, culture, etc. should be forces on the side of our self-actualization; they tend to come with the baggage of expectation and comparison. This tends to thwart our efforts in invisible ways. Our desire to “stay the same”, “not look foolish”, or “get good grades” tend to override our natural inclination toward discovery. Ask any kindergartener about their ability to be president, make a movie, be an astronaut, and their confidence will astound. Adults tend to only be confident when criticizing the performance of others. When faced with their own shortcomings, the subject is quickly swept under the rug.

It’s never been a better time to be a white belt! Why? Because today is all that you get. If you’re not willing to try something new today, tomorrow you’ll be even less likely to go for it. We are creatures of habit and just like anything else avoiding the new and difficult is a routine. It must be broken in order to claim the prizes on the other side of being a beginner. It is hard. It is humbling but it is necessary! So put on your white belt and try something new. At bare minimum, you’ll learn that you’re not perfect and that’s something we all need to remember from time to time.

Beginner and failure are not the same things!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

What’s In a Name?

Pete Huryk

Recently I met a new friend who by her estimation has a very “feminine” name and has always lamented it. As an athlete, she wanted to have a name that was more unisex or possibly even “tougher”. On the one hand, I see her point. Around the time that my kids were born, I lobbied for the name Cuauhtemoc, half-heartedly. It was the name of the last Aztec king who revolted against the Spanish. Almost the reverse concept of Johnny Cash song, “A Boy Named Sue”, my hope was that a name might add to my child’s identity. Alas, I didn’t follow through with it but I did choose not to make my son the fourth in line of Peters.

With all of that said, there is something about a name that establishes a partial identity. I can’t say definitively but Einstein may have ended up differently if his name had been Hercules. Much like DNA, a name can set the wheels in motion toward particular traits. However it is far from complete. The individual must express those traits regularly. A person is not destined to a particular life based solely on their name.

So my friend can take heart. A name is only part of the story, each of us must define ourselves through our actions on a regular basis. It’s possible to be a badass without being named, Attila the Hun. Although it may help, Attila made his name memorable. The same is true for any of us. There was a time when Elon Musk had almost no meaning to anyone but him and family/friends. Your name is important but most of the meaning is what you put into it!

Live up to your name, or make your name moniker for greatness!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Conquering King or Queen

Pete Huryk

It’s a romantic concept isn’t it? Being a monarch presiding over an area that you can call your own. People hold you in high esteem because of your dominion. At a certain point though, you might have decided that it’s not enough. You need more land, more subjects and more whatever. That requires your army to go out into the new territory and take it for your own. Depending on the inhabitants and owner, this could be extremely easy or difficult. Regardless, it requires some form of effort. The world is not going to just surrender to you! Since none of us is a monarch or at least it’s unlikely that one is reading my blog, how does this relate to you?

We all have dominion over certain things. The territory that you own is your comfort zone. It could include anything from your job, relationship or any other manner of thing. Living within that space could be a completely fulfilling life. That’s not for me or anyone other than you to decide. The odd thing about humans is that comfort is antithetical to our survival. As a species, we tend to do poorly with too much comfort. Finding the right amount of pressure and progress is key to keeping us in balance.

This week, you need to go out and be a conquering queen or king. You don’t need to take over the world or even someone else’s territory. It is merely time to bump up against your edges and see if there is someplace new to discover. The reason to find those edges is because it isn’t new land, it’s new you. Finding your own limits is what life is about. Define it for you. Expanding yourself in the directions that matter most to you.

Go conquer you!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

True to Form

Pete Huryk

It’s a pretty typical thing in soccer to describe a player as “in form.” Consistent performance is something that people value from players regardless of the level. The markers for form vary from position to position and league to league. Despite the fact there is variation, people know when a player is in form.

Most of us are never going to play professionally, so the idea of being in form is largely irrelevant. The more important factor in most of our lives would be the concept of being “true to form.” In my mind; this is the idea of showing up the same way over and over again. People know what to expect from you before you get there. This may fly in the face of being your “authentic self”. However, the idea of being whomever you want at any given moment is unrealistic anyway. It is far more powerful to be a person that people know and understand. Be true to form.

It may look foolish now but at the time, we LOVED these jerseys!

The final piece to this that I’d like to add is keep improving your form. Incrementally get better over time in whatever matters to you. Consistency is a valuable characteristic but who you are today should never be the goal. People love you exactly as you are but sometimes that’s problematic. You are not a finished article! Keep developing the person that you are into better and better versions. Use the years of your life like the codes to a computer program. Excel 2.1 should be better than 2.0. Different to say the least but hopefully better in many ways.

Stay true to form but keep that form improving!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Grunts and Groans

Pete Huryk

There was a time when language did not exist as it does today. Communication was a series of grunts, groans and gestures (I work with teenagers, so this still exists). Over time, those simplistic sounds became consistent enough that meaning could be attributed to a particular sound or set of sounds. That developed into words, then phrases and you get the idea. We were once dealing on a very simple level and now we are much more complex. A caveman would not understand our language but might eventually get there after much frustration. As a language teacher, I see this frustration regularly. People tend to want to jump from knowing nothing to being fluent in an instant. That’s not the way it works. We need to go through the grunts and groans.

As each of us looks to begin a new endeavor, the grunts and the groans are almost a right of passage. That time where you know absolutely nothing, everything is hard and you have the added frustration of not knowing if you’ll ever get there. This is part of the deal but that doesn’t make it any easier. The question that you need to ask yourself is whether or not the fluency will be worth it. If you project out to the future and you achieve your goal, how would you feel about the grunts and the groans period? Would you still feel ashamed or would there be a sense of pride about what you accomplished? My guess is that there would be all kinds of positives gathered from the experience. Self-esteem from persevering, learning about the process, pride in accomplishment and so many more. Those grunts and groans were not meaningless! They were necessary and valuable. We can wish that they weren’t necessary at the beginning and sometimes forget them after the fact. However, much of our lives are grunts and groans. Trying to make something out of nothing when we don’t fully understand.

So if you’re in a time of grunts and groans, try not to get frustrated by them. You need them! Everyone who has ever done what you’re doing had to go through them. It may take longer or shorter for you but that’s not for you to decide. Keep on going! You’ll find your way eventually if you want it badly enough.

Hmmhahahmmmha. Know what I mean?!?!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The MOM of Success

Pete Huryk

Although I’m sure that I don’t speak for everyone, most people love their mom. It’s inherent to the relationship with the person who brought you into this world. Even when that connection is strained, there is almost always a recognition of her importance. For around nine months, she gave you a beginning. Then she kept you alive for a number of years before you were able to do certain things on your own. The more that you progressed, the less that you felt like you needed her but she was always in the background. None of us would be anywhere without moms.

In the acquisition of any level of success, the mom that is most important is MOMentum! Anyone can do something for a day or intermittently. It’s the consistency of action that truly carries one through those beginning stages toward results. Unfortunately, people often hope that some mom type of figure is going to cradle them through the tough times to the other side of what Seth Godin calls “the dip.” This unrealistic view is almost the exact opposite of the truth. The person who is craving the success needs to recognize that they are the “mom”, giving life to a dream, keeping it alive and setting it up for success and sustainability. Being a mom and building momentum can both feel like thankless jobs at times. The key is to look for the instances where progress can be seen. Much like a small child, the milestones are great to see but mostly it’s feeding and dealing with crap! Monumental growth doesn’t usually happen overnight, no matter how much we may desire it.

So if you have a goal, it is your turn to be “the mom” in order to build momentum. It will be more difficult than you ever anticipate that it could be. However if you are willing to put in the time and effort, it is possible that you’ll be able to breed life into the dream that you have. Mom’s not coming to save you. This one is on you!