It doesn’t roll off the tongue as easily as “Holy sh**!” but the basic components are there. For a variety of reasons, one has been adopted as an exclamation of surprise or delight. And the other is nonsense that I use to illustrate a point. While we’d love to believe that we’re communicating accurately, things like this are everywhere. The words and the meaning behind them are quite different. None of us came up with HS! We just use it. If biblical feces caught on, we might use that too.
It’s utility not accuracy. Function rather than form. Our standing order as humans is not to be perfect. It’s to carry on and try to progress. The history of the human race is littered with the imperfection of our ancestors. Yet here we are! Bathing in a world that would make them say “Biblical feces!” Or whatever exclamation they saw fit.
So don’t stop the heritage that we have. Make your best attempt at the things that you care about today. Push the envelope everyone once in a while and maybe you’ll astound the people around you enough to have a “biblical feces!” moment. You’re more than capable. You may just be caught up in the normal feces of everyday.
Getting it wrong is often the first step to getting it right!
Washing the covers to my couch cushions and got inspired!
They’re the beautiful architecture of children usually! It’s a beauty that’s not really found in the craftsmanship because the material are haphazard and stability almost nonexistent. The key ingredient to the beauty of a pillow fort is the belief of its builder. The imagination and wonder that goes into something so flimsy… so temporary. Yet they love it because it’s theirs and it took the mundane and made it magical!
At certain point, we stop making pillow forts. Not because we lack the time or materials but rather the imagination. We see only utility and not possibility. The function and the thing become one until our world is filled with single use items.
We’re all pillow forts! Temporary structures that were born out of imagination and love. Perhaps today is a great day to get that magic back! Breathe life back into that thing that you know won’t last forever but maybe you can see it anew. Re-envision it with a childlike joy!
Or wait ‘til it falls apart or a single purpose person tears it back down to its most basic form.
Both are a choice! And now you’re probably old enough to make it on your own!
Honestly that’s not the real quote! The line from the movie goes “You’re faster than this, don’t think you are. Know you are!” Mentally combined with the scene where Neo faces off with Agent Smith in the subway station, it’s my “go to” imagery when I’m lifting a heavy weight. While I could be tempting fate slightly by putting so much stock into the mental side of a very physical act, I still believe that it’s important.
Everything traces itself back to the mind! We tend to believe that we live in a physical world and sure, we do. But it is all interpreted through the mind. So the sensations of those very physical acts get relayed through the body and interpreted by the mind. It’s not a one way street though. There needs to be an impetus for action. And if you don’t believe that the floor is going to hold you up when you step onto it, you’re stuck! The world is giving us feedback and that can shape our beliefs but does not dictate them. There’s more to it. We have choice!
What have you chosen to believe in the past? What do you believe now? What beliefs do you need to adopt in order to get you where you want to go? These are important questions to ask and consider the answer. One of my favorite sayings (that I believe I coined) “Don’t assume you’re weak because you haven’t found your strength yet.” In it lies the problem that so many people face. They doubt the existence of their own strength because it’s not obvious like the powers of Superman or they’ve not been anointed the “One” like Neo. It’s a two way street of belief and feedback that need to coalesce into suspension bridge that can support the weight of our endeavor. It’s not as simple as we’d like it to be but it’s not impossible either.
You’re stronger than this! Don’t think you are. KNOW you are!
Staring down a deadline that I set for myself to write something by 11pm. Here it is 10:49 and several drafts in the technological trash. Yet I persist! Chances are that this won’t be the best piece of writing that I’ve ever produced. That’s ok! The point isn’t to get your best each time. It’s showing up again and taking a swing. Because none of it is easy.
While our search for easier situations has largely led to just different hard circumstances, we seem to insist that easy is out there somewhere. That something of value can be received with little effort and no long term cost. I’m not sure that I’m buying it anymore. None of it is easy!
But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be joyous, exciting, moving and life altering as well. It’s just that none of it is easy. So tomorrow by 11pm, another piece of writing will be showing up here and none of that will be easy. But I’m looking forward to it because basically that’s the only way we can truly look.
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot in terms of recipes. As a kid, I was always helping my mom bake cookies or create a concoction of my own in the kitchen that may or may not have been delicious/edible. It seems like people bake and cook a little bit less these days. Not sure if that is restaurant culture, laziness, pre-prepped meals or all of the above. Regardless, recipes don’t seem to hold the same importance that they used to. Despite the shift in the cooking paradigm, people are usually looking for a short cut or hack to success. So I decided to go in the other direction and put down a recipe for failure. In theory, if you were to play George Costanza and do the opposite, that could avoid failure or lead to success.
This is my “fake” Chick-Fil-Recipe. Use it if you want!
View Other People as Special/Talented – That’s right! The people who are getting the results that you want were just born lucky. They have talents that can’t be taught/learned/trained. God or whatever you believe in has just shined a light on them and completely forgot about you. Don’t bother trying because you haven’t got it!
Make Up Excuses – There are plenty of reasons that you’re not getting what you want and they’re beyond your control. Every conceivable thing that could go against you keeps showing up. It’s not your fault! It’s the weather, the timing, the market, the coach, the referee, the president, your parents, lady luck, Kevin frickin’ Bacon and the Boogey Man. You can’t do it because _____________________. And whatever you put in that blank is 100% legitimate!
Put It Off Until Tomorrow – This is a great plan because tomorrow will definitely be better! You’ll be more rested, have a clearer head and more time. That’s a very common thing. More time shows after you’ve decided not to use now. Now is very overwhelming. Tomorrow, next week, next month or next year provide a buffer that is 100% necessary.
Believe That It’s Not Important – It really didn’t matter that much anyway! Getting that goal, climbing that mountain, defeating that opponent, etc. It wouldn’t have changed who you are. You’re still you. It doesn’t matter what anyone does because eventually we’ll all be gone anyway. So don’t bother because it doesn’t really matter.
Let Other People Stop You – Their opinions, approval, encouragement, etc. are either forces that you can’t overcome or things you can’t live without. So until you get high level clearance with a marching band, cheerleaders and a 100% approval rating, don’t lift a finger because the backlash, “I told you so’s”, judgment and disdain are going to be too much for you to handle!
At a certain point while writing those, I started to feel ridiculous. For two reasons: 1. the recipe is inherently ridiculous and 2. I’ve done all of these things before. I didn’t voice the thoughts to myself like I did in the examples, I just did the action. This recipe isn’t complete of course. You can add all kinds of garnishes and extras but these are majors.
Any time that you’re considering doing one these things recognize that they ruin a success “recipe” if you add too much. It’s not a judgmental thing. We’ve all done these before and will do them again. The idea is not perfection. It’s getting things done because you can!
At no point in my twenties did I think that I would be dating again in my forties. Despite the optimism of my former self, I found myself single and living in the world of online dating. My best intentions of finding someone with whom to spend the rest of my life were met with a variety of obstacles: some internal and others external. While I often put my personal past experiences into the blog, that’s not my focus at the moment. The main reason for the post is my perspective on a confused landscape of man/woman courting (yep! old school term but I’m going with it for now).
Searching for Éowyn – I’ve had this concept in mind for a while. If you’re not a “Lord of the Rings” fan, she is a strong female character who plays a crucial role in the defeat of the evil forces in the book/movies. Obviously, she is just a character but she personifies a good amount of what I (and possibly many men) look for. A partner that will have my back as much as I have hers. She is not a damsel in distress who is waiting to be saved but rather an equal partner who is capable in her own right, with her own strengths. My hope is that together, we do what the 20th Century philosopher, Rocky Balboa, said of relationships “fill gaps.” “I’ve got gaps, she’s got gaps. Together we fill gaps.” – Rocky. Basically it is two people who bring things to the table and feel that the combination makes life better for both.
The Confusion – I’m not sure how the process of finding people got so convoluted. Perhaps, it’s the dating apps, or social media, or old rules, or new rules, or players, or haters, or cheaters, or all of the above and a lot more. Regardless, there are lots of people out there getting upset, disappointed, angry and down right frustrated with the situation. I’m always looking to help. At the moment, I’m in the most healthy relationship I’ve ever had and loving it! So maybe this public mental exercise will be useful to someone. If not, it might bring a laugh or two for people who are already squared away in the relationship department. Remember that I only have the man’s perspective. So there may be pieces missing from the equation.
Dating Apps – (Pros) They are a necessarily evil marketing tool that most people are using these days. They’re great and they suck! On the one hand they give you a view into many of the people looking in your area. It’s a wider net to choose from than the old school trope of the local bar scene. Putting some of your preferences out there up front should act as a screening mechanism. It also can be a good filter for initial attraction. Both the physical and mental interest levels can start online before a first meeting. A lack of interest on line does not feel as bad as real life rejection. The pure numbers makes everything less personal.
(Cons) The flip side of the coin is that numbers bring publicity and competition. Putting yourself out there can be scary, and what you get back can be scarier. The very tools that widen the pool of options also invite a host of complications. Profiles can be misleading, conversations can lack the nuance of real-life interaction, and the paradox of choice can leave you feeling more lost than ever. Sometimes it feels like shopping for a connection rather than building one. Add to this the ghosting, superficiality, and occasional toxicity, and it’s clear why so many feel disillusioned.
So, how do you navigate this maze without losing hope? For me, the key lies in staying grounded in your values and knowing what you’re looking for. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s connection. Éowyn may be a fictional ideal, but the qualities she embodies—strength, partnership, and mutual respect—are very real aspirations. Recognize that the path to finding your person might be unpredictable and even messy. It requires patience, resilience, and an openness to the unexpected.
The journey isn’t just about finding the right partner; it’s also about becoming the kind of partner someone else is searching for. That’s the heart of the matter—filling gaps isn’t a one-sided process. It’s a dance of two people who bring their authentic selves to the table, flaws and all, and choose to build something meaningful together.
If you’re still searching, take heart. You’re not alone in the confusion. And if you’ve found your Éowyn, treasure her. After all, strong partnerships don’t just happen—they’re built, one gap-filling moment at a time.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
The playlists (really mixtapes) of my past seem to be churning ideas that I cannot ignore. When you’re a teenager, it’s easy to get caught up in the music and catchy choruses. Despite that possibility, Bad Religion and their catalogue of songs always hit a bit harder. They were more than just songs. They were thought provoking anthems that expanded both my vocabulary and view of the world. As I was considering an idea that I relate to my students often, a line from the BR song “21st Century Digital Boy” popped into my head. “Symbolized bar code quick ID.” In and of itself, this line is meaningless without context. However, where would a modern product be without its bar code?
The concept that I’ve been talking to students about for a while now is that they are “the product.” At the beginning, the discussion circles around the fact that social media apps are not free. The users are the product. Regardless of which platform is being used, the person posting and consuming is both the product and a customer. Their content and eyes are on offer to other companies and consumers. This discussion may seem bleak but it’s not the full on point. While Meta and other companies like it are turning you into a product, the recognition needs to be made that you were always the product.
Despite my job in education, I think that school has caused part of the problem. The system is so pervasive that the individuals within it tend to forget that it’s there for them. They are the product. If they want to be adept at mathematics, writing, a foreign language or other skills, they can be. But if they want to just bide their time and “get through” then that’s also a possibility. While the system may need revamping, it still offers a wealth of possibility to the student. The internet has also offered up more knowledge and skill training than any one person could consume. Regardless of where input is coming from, YOU ARE THE PRODUCT!
Perhaps it makes some people uncomfortable to think this way because they’ve grown used to being a product of other people’s design. Parents, teachers, friends, culture and other forces have tried to shape us throughout the years. Some of those nudges have been with our best interest at heart. Others come with strings and/or ulterior motives. What if you were a product of your own design? The clay that you are may be partially shaped but there is always the opportunity to reshape what’s there.
So, YOU ARE THE PRODUCT! Perhaps I am just playing the “middle class intellectual” (not lazy) but deciding who you want to become cannot be a bad idea. For a song that was written in the 90’s, there is more accuracy in the lyrics than I’d like to admit. Yet, we all have the ability to stem that tide. Shifts at the societal level begin with the individual. And if the societal shift never comes, then at least you’ve impact the value, marketing, longevity or quality of the one product that you use everyday. Lots of people value your time and attention. Value your own!
“Little ditty bout Jack and Diane…” In the infancy of MTV, I heard this song more times than I could count. Most of it flew over my very young head. I’d never seen a Tastee Freez before and wouldn’t know what it was for years. Being from New Jersey, the idea of a debutant was far out of my geography and understanding. But the one line that I heard loud and clear was “Life goes on, long after the thrill of livin’ is gone.” At the time, I understood what was being said but as a young person, the thrills of life were all over the place. Even when we claimed to be bored, we weren’t far from possibility.
Now, I think that I’m in that portion of life that Mr. Mellencamp was talking about. Life continues on! However, I’m having trouble swallowing the idea that the thrill of livin’ is gone. So many of the pre-scripted things have passed but I’m not buying the thrill part. That’s a matter of perspective and I think a young version of John Mellencamp may have gotten it at least partially wrong.
The thrill of life does not need to be reduced to that rollercoaster feeling that one gets in youth. The high anxiety that comes with so many firsts in life may be thrilling but it doesn’t need to subside with experience. Our emotional lives are not dictated by the chance of experience but rather the choice of our perception. The thrill of living can be found or created in a moment. It matters less about the age of the perceiver and more about their willingness to be thrilled. To find the beauty in the commonplace. The monumental in the mundane. And the perfection in the imperfect.
No doubt! Life goes on! But whether or not the thrill continues to be present or not is not dictated by chance. It’s a choice. Life is going to continue until it doesn’t. What we do with it is largely up to us and the thrill can be brought back at any time.
The subject of math is either frustrating or fulfilling for most people. The possibility of finding answers to complex problems can lead to headaches and a feeling of inadequacy, while others see order, music, possibility and definition in our chaotic world. Often Americans try to put statistics into sports in order to understand them better. I’ll touch on it briefly but don’t intend to belabor the point.
A perfect pass would go directly to the curve of the receiving player’s correct foot. Any professional player worth their salt can do this in low pressure situations but as the pressure mounts, passes go off target to a degree. To what degree really matters.
A 10 yard pass that is off by 1 degree misses the target by 1/2 a foot.
A 30 yard pass that is off by 1 degree misses the target by a foot and a half.
A 10 yard pass that is off by 2 degrees misses the target by a foot.
A 30 yard pass that is off by 2 degrees misses the target by over a yard.
A 10 yard pass that is off by 5 degrees misses the target by over two and a half feet.
A 30 yard pass this off by 5 degrees misses the target by over two and a half yards.
In a live and highly competitive match, pinpoint accuracy is difficult (almost impossible). While math may be able to measure the distances, it cannot particularly account for all of the variables, especially the human ones.
“Passes come from the heart.” is one of my favorite lines from the movie ‘Miracle’ that chronicles the journey of the 1980 USA hockey team. Although I’m not sure if Herb Brooks repeated this phrase as often or at all in real life, it sums up one of the variables at work. Passes come from the heart has always been about intent for me. When you care about the person who will be receiving the pass, you tend to put more intention behind it. You want it to be as good as it can be. Some players give quality passes regardless of their feelings about the individual on the other end because they care about the group.
At the moment, the mighty POSH are having a bit of a struggle. The passing and precision that were near perfect for a few months seem to have gone. It’s not. Collectively it’s just off by a few degrees. As soon as one pass misses its mark, the next one tends to suffer. I refer to it as soccer karma. If you give a good ball, you’ll get a good ball. It’s not a mathematical certainty but it creates a framework for an upward spiral.
The transfer market unbalanced a young team that believed in their collective ability prior to January. Now they need to find their way forward (not back). They cannot recreate the past. PK isn’t coming back. EMC has to balance his new multi-million pound transfer with what he means to this team now. Kyprianou and Edwards need to realize that their play for the next few months dictates their value in the transfer market, not the rumors from social media during the window. These are all good things! Wait… What? How can the team being unbalanced by all of this be good? Because these young men will learn from it. They will find a way or they won’t.
As a fan, I will support either result but this is exactly what I’ve signed up for as a POSH fan this season. A young team who need to find their way. They struggled in the beginning and again they are being challenged by the circumstances in front of them. While it feels like we’re miles off from where we were a month or so ago, it’s only a matter of a few degrees. Passes come from the heart and I believe in mine that they’ll find their way back.
For many people in an older generation, these two words are associated with a song sung by Frank Sinatra. Although “Old Blue Eyes” didn’t write the song (Paul Anka did), it is one of his most famous. In the end it’s been reported that he didn’t really like it. Which brings me to my association to the phrase “my way.” In the movie, The Princess Bride, Fezzik is told to kill the ‘Man in Black’ by hitting him in the head with a rock. This order was given to him by Vizzini who was inconceivably outwitted by that same ‘Man in Black’ later.
“It’s not my fault being the biggest and strongest, I don’t even exercise!”
After a little reflection, Fezzik decides that “his way” is not very sportsmanlike. So he decides to fight the ‘Man in Black’ hand to hand. He loses the fight despite his greater size and strength. However, the outcome leads him back to his friend and a new adventure rather than continued servitude to an abusive “genius.” The fact that he didn’t like his way and felt the need to change it lead him to a new path.
We are all on a journey to adventures and destinations that may not be predictable. By all means, if “your way” is working for you, stick with it. I’m not here to play Vizzini and tell you how to take care of your tasks. My only reason for the post is that if “my way” has become a rut that is pulling you off the path to where you want to go, change your “my way.” No matter what you do, it will be “my way” until you stop listening to the gut, the heart, the head or the cajones. One or a combination of these will usually tell you what’s what. But it’s never going to be perfect and the ownership of doing it “my way” makes failure a bit easier to swallow.
“I just want you to fell you’re doing well.” – Fezzik
Huryk Unlimited 