Tag: inspiration

Blogpost, self-reliance

Something Out of Nothing

Pete Huryk

Each moment of our day is not a blank canvas. There’s already a background with component pieces that must be considered. However each moment is a new opportunity to make something great happen out of seemingly nothing. As the line from one of my favorite one hit wonders goes “I’m not expecting to grow flowers in the desert.” The impossible doesn’t appear on its own and without effort. There needs to be intentional thought put into making something out of nothing. Luckily or unluckily, we’ve become programmed into thinking that only the truly extraordinary matters. I’d say that’s probably where we’ve lost most of our opportunity. Taking the “nothing” moments and turning them into something is a superpower that needs to be developed.

As I was on my run today, the song “In a Big Country” by Big Country came on and reframed the moment and many recent events.

“So take that look out of here it doesn’t fit you
Because it’s happened doesn’t mean you’ve been discarded
Pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted
I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can’t stay here with every single hope you had shattered”

Words that I know I’ve heard hundreds or possibly thousands of times before put a pin in my experience. That moment with all of these normal ingredients had truly transformed from nothing into something. A moment of reckoning where the next moment, day, week, month, or year has the possibility to be different. The onus is on me though because that moment could easily be washed away. The reverse is also possible. We turn something into nothing all of the time because we’re too busy, tired, scared or indifferent. Making something out of nothing takes effort.

So if you’ve been knocked down, “pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming, cry out for everything you ever might have wanted!” because “you can’t stay here with every single hope you had shattered!” It’s on you to make the next moment great but it won’t be if you’re too busy to see the possibilities.

“But I can live and breathe
And see the sun in wintertime!”

Pete

Blogpost, posh

Locked Out

Pete Huryk

In a world where we can communicate with anyone globally in an instant, it’s odd to think that we have trouble reaching ourselves. It is almost as if our freedom of communication with others has locked us out of reaching inside as freely. For years now, I’ve suggested to people that they not sleep near their device nor use it for the first 30 minutes of the day. The reason for this is to allow time to decide your own priorities before the feed from your Insta, Snap, Twitter, Facebook or even your email gets its claws into you. It’s easy to think that you’re just checking on what’s going on but usually you’re giving up the reigns of your focus to people who may not care much about you.

It’s easy to blame social media or greedy companies that want to usurp your attention and dollars. Unfortunately, that situation isn’t bound to change any time soon. Even before the technological upheaval of the past few decades, people were giving away their attention to the unimportant long before the internet or cellphones came along. To be honest, distraction isn’t even fully what I’m worried about. It’s being locked away from the things that you truly want.

Each of us has potential beyond our reckoning but the things that we allow ourselves to believe as possible are often disappointing. The extreme of this is the “I can’t” that is attached to normal things. “I can’t get in shape!” “I can’t find the time!” “I can’t find get a break!” Language and thought processes lock the person out of something that’s more than likely within their reach. It’s not REALITY. It is just their reality formed from a variety of things. Possibly past experience but more than likely, it is just easier to believe that something is impossible than to try.

So don’t lock yourself out! You have what it takes to do whatever you set your mind to. For now, you need to decide what you want. Then break it down into smaller pieces and give yourself enough reasons to go after it. VCR Most of the prisons that people are living in are self-made and invisible. The bars are nothing more than a lack of vision.

“Grab your things I’m going to take you home!”

Pete

Blogpost

Fill In the Gaps

Pete Huryk

The best ideas are not particularly the most complex. They also don’t particularly need to come from philosophers or physicists. Simple and usable is far better than complex and unattainable. So when considering the best people to ruminate on relationships, the fictitious boxer, Rocky Balboa, is not a name that springs to mind for most. However, in an offhanded comment in a meat freezer, he explains some of why we are drawn to particular people and keep them in our lives.

Paulie: I don’t see it. What’s the attraction?
Rocky: I don’t know. Fills gaps, I guess.
Paulie: What’s ‘gaps’?
Rocky: I dunno, gaps. She’s got gaps, I got gaps. Together, we fill gaps. I dunno.

It’s easy to get distracted by Rocky punching a side of beef after this conversation. However, in this short exchange with his future brother in law, he is profound in his reading of the human condition.

None of us is a perfect person. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. Despite the fact that we can’t achieve perfection, most of us look to improve or diversify our experience. Discovering new territory and finding new/unique ways of looking at the world is something that we’re built for. Often it is the people that we surround ourselves with that help pull us forward into the void or push us beyond our comfort zone or makes us feel secure due to their strengths being different. Fill the gaps.

Most relationships don’t last for a lifetime. People come in and out of our lives like seasons. Some last for decades and others for much shorter. It’s important to recognize those people who fill the gaps because no matter how long they are in your life, they’re not here forever. Do your best to be present in the time that you have and be thankful that you had it. Some people are too busy covering up the fact that they have gaps to let anyone in.

Not a perfect person!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

We’re Going Streaking!

Pete Huryk

Putting in a lot of hours on the stationary bike has necessitated the watching of some older movies. The most recent watch was the classic comedy Old School. A band of past their prime men unite with some college students in order to form a fraternity and craziness ensues. Like most of the silly comedies of the genre, the heroes rally a form of victory despite their lazy and generally idiotic ways. Although there is plenty to focus on from this film, the one scene that I want to revisit is Frank “The Tank” doing a lone streaking run.

With a microphone in hand and no inhibitions to be found, Will Ferrell’s character screams at the top of his lungs, “We’re going streaking!” He attempts to lead a group of naked followers through the quad and into the gymnasium. The problem is that no one follows. So he is a solo nudist running down the middle of the street to be found by his wife and her friends. It’s the beginning of the end of Frank’s marriage as he tumbles out of the trust tree and fully into his alter ego of Frank the Tank. Of course in this movie, idiocy is celebrated but how about real life?

Derek Sivers has a great Ted Talk about “starting a movement”. The key difference between an idiot and a movement is often numbers. The right ideas are not always the ones that win. Galileo was excommunicated even though he was right. It’s the lone idiot who can get people to follow them that wins the day. Since the best ideas don’t always win and traction often matters more than objective truth, what causes should we look to champion? This is where the Frank the Tank example truly matters.

The causes that are truly worth it are the ones where you’re not afraid to be the lone idiot streaking. Frank’s cause may not have been intelligent or popular but he went at it with full force. Our passion and not our popularity should decide the direction that we run. And the other uncomfortable but necessary part to any passion project is that there are times where forward motion is going to require us to be naked and unafraid. It won’t always be pretty but it will be genuine.

You’re my boy Blue!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Overlap of Heroes

Pete Huryk

It turns out that two of my heroes actually crossed paths. Teddy Roosevelt was presenting at an awards assembly where a young Dr. Seuss was supposed to receive an medal for selling war bonds. Unfortunately for the future author, he was last in line. For some reason there was one award missing. The very brusque former President asked “What’s this boy doing here?” A very embarrassed Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss’ real name) scurried off the stage and developed a fear of making public appearances. It was neither man’s best moment.

The thing about heroes is that we often want to see them a perfect, indestructible or superhuman. They are none of the above and are just as human as the rest of us. Foibles, failures and fractures happen to all human beings regardless of the esteem that they accumulate throughout their lives. Although they feel their own imperfection, the rest of the world tends to heap a status of extraordinary upon them. The part of that word to focus on is the “ordinary”. That’s all that they are with a bit of extra focus, extra care, extra work, extra creativity or extra effort. Otherwise they are just like the rest of us.

It’s so much easier isn’t it? Seeing our heroes as superhuman! That perspective lets us off the hook. If we see that we overlap with them in so many simple ways, perhaps the spectacular is right at our fingertips. Could it be that all we are missing is that little bit extra? Possibly! Maybe the fear isn’t that we’re not as good but that we’re capable of the same and we don’t want the expectation that comes with extraordinary. Whether you want to believe it or not, you overlap with heroes. Can you become your own?

See where extra takes you today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Don’t Let Gumby Beat You (leveraging your self-image)

Pete Huryk

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” I’ve heard it more than enough times in my life and I tend to believe it as a general rule. Especially in our social media world where a constant barrage of possible comparison points comes to our pocket, it can be easy to get sucked into a whirlpool of self-esteem damaging photos, videos and messages. It’s an uphill battle to say the least and the options or ending the conflict seems to be surrender or retreat. Neither of those options is 100% healthy nor practical. So my suggestion is leveraging it when it’s appropriate. Below is an example.

My uncle Bob, yes! the actor from a prior blogpost, was an accomplished runner in his 20s. In 1980, he qualified for and ran the famed Boston Marathon. In 1995, he was trying to make a return to Boston for the 100th running of the race by qualifying in the New York Marathon. At the halfway point, he was on target to qualify for Boston. Unfortunately he got a leg cramp and hobbled for a bit. He was considering dropping out of the race. That all changed when a person dressed in a Gumby costume passed by him. Something inside of him would not accept being beaten by Gumby! So he got back into the race and finished with a very respectable time of 4:00:56.

Comparison can be a problem there is no doubt about it. Looking at Bill Gates’ financial success is only going to make my financial world seem pathetic. However, complete denial of comparison is probably an unrealistic goal for most of us. Perhaps the Buddhist monks have it figured out but I sure don’t. So the only thing that makes sense to me is to leverage it when it is useful and ignore it when it isn’t. Uncle Bob got more out of himself with the brief comparison to Gumby. It was a catalyst to get him to do something that was in line with his abilities and goals on a particular day. He did not feel horrible at the finish line because he hadn’t won. That was a comparison that would not have served him. Nor did he compare his fame to the green claymation character. It was a tool that was used but then discarded.

So unless you are channeling your inner monk, there is a good chance that you are comparing from time to time. Let most of them go because they don’t serve. When it makes sense because your goals and abilities align with some healthy competition, so be it. Another option is having what Simon Sinek refers to as a “worthy rival“. They are not simply a competitor to be beaten. Instead they serve as mirror for us to look at ourselves and seeing their strengths allows us to see ourselves more clearly. In the long term the human experience is not set up in a win/loss scenario. There are too many metrics to determine who “wins” at life. However it is possible to define for yourself how to live a “good life” and align your goals and objectives with that. Seeing people who are already doing that which you want can be helpful and powerful, provided that you don’t bury yourself under the weight of comparison.

Who do you want to be? Now go be that!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Your Life Motivation Formula

Pete Huryk

If you’ve been through a basic algebra course or just about any high school math class, you’ve probably had the “Slope Intercept” form tattooed inside your brain. If you’ve not already said it to yourself, it is y = mx + b. The reason why most people remember it or it’s taught so vehemently is that it’s chock full of simplified information. The m that goes directly next to the x represents the slope of the line (rise/run as some teach it). So the “trajectory” of the line is given to you right there in the equation. Large numbers in the slope mean a line that is skyrocketing upward. Low numbers are gradually heading upward. While negative numbers are heading downward at a rate equal to their negative slope. The other crucial number is b which represents the “y intercept”. It’s the “starting point” for the line in my discussion anyway. Whatever the b is, it’s where the line “starts” from. So a high positive b starts from a high position and goes up or down based on the slope. A negative b starts from below the x-axis and can either go down further or slope upward over time. NOW WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY LIFE? I’m so glad that you asked!

If you think of your life as a timeline, then you’re traveling along the x-axis. An hour, a day, a month or a year could be your unit of measurement but time is passing in a measurable fashion. We’re going to reverse the equation a bit and talk about your b.

Your Y Intercept: As I said above, that’s your starting point. At zero, you started someplace. Maybe you have all of the advantages in the world: supportive parents, finances, favorable bone structure, good looks, athletic ability, etc. Or maybe the opposite is true. You had a less desirable start. Advantages were few or possibly even disadvantages put your b into the negative at the beginning. Regardless of which camp you’re in, there’s nothing that can be done about that now. Your b (starting point) is a solid number.

Your m or slope: This is the only thing that you truly have control over. Although x is usually the variable, time is so constant, we know where it’s going. However we can adjust our slope. By your slope, I mean your incline or decline in any particular area. How much are you getting better (or worse) in an amount of time (rise/run)? There are some areas where you can have a massive slope upward. Others where a slow but steady increase would be great. Unlike a graph of a line though, your individual slope can change at any moment. Perhaps you have been on an exercise regiment consistently for two weeks. You’ve got a slope that is heading upward but then you take a week off. That slope is heading downward. The net effect might be slightly positive but keeping that consistent upward slope is truly what you needed.

Putting the equation together: Recognize the fact that having a consistent upward trajectory for the slope of your endeavor is key. It can overcome a disadvantaged starting position over time. However an advantageous start cannot counterbalance a negative slope forever. Eventually the work needs to be done to maintain that starting position.

So regardless of whether you’re looking to improve your finances, health or a variety of other things, this is the equation. If you can keep your slope consistently moving upward, then you can overcome any poor starting position. Unfortunately, most people become so blinded by their b that they never try to change their m. Put another way!

Your results = Momentum of action for X amount of time + Basic starting position

Give yourself a chance by impacting the one and only variable that matters. Improve your slope in order to intercept your goals!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Drops That Matter

Pete Huryk

In Spanish the idea of “dropping” an item is far less accusatory than it is in English. “Se me cayó” is the way that it can be phrased. The literal translation in English would be “It fell from me.” The blame goes to the item rather than the person. Normally “dropping” an item is an accident and therefore the Spanish version makes more sense. However in this instance, I am going to actually ask that you be deliberate. The drops that I’m going to suggest should be with purpose rather than accidental.

Drop your habits that you know are harming you – This is of course easier said than done. We become attached to our habits whether they serve us or not. Our brains like the idea of a predictable future and habits tend to deliver that. However if you don’t like something in your present, there is probably a habit that you could drop to change things for the better. Just be aware that as people drop something, they tend to pick it back up. Pick up something else!

Drop the people who are holding you back – If you thought that the first one was difficult, this one is even more so. Severing relationships is never easy. Even when we realize that people are counterproductive or even destructive in our lives, letting go is hard. So if you cannot do a full drop, put them at a distance or do your best to reduce their influence over your thoughts and feelings.

Drop some tears – Tears are a double drop because they fall down and they are little bits of water. Although there are times to put on a brave face, tears can be cathartic. They are a release, not just of liquid but of the emotions that often keep us rooted to the past. Drop the tears and possibly the memories that cause them. After the tears, learn to forgive. That doesn’t mean that what happened in now ok. It means that it has happened and you have no ability to change it. However you can moving forward give (forgive) yourself the gift of a life without the burden of the pain. Perhaps you need to forgive an enemy, a friend or even yourself. Regardless of who or what it is, the past was never meant to be an anchor. So drop it!

Drop some sweat! – Again this is a double drop and one that really matters. There’s so many reasons why the sweat might be coming from your brow but hopefully it’s due to some form of work. Lounging your forward is an unlikely remedy to anything. Most things are going to require work and probably a sweat inducing level of it. Your comfort and your conquest probably don’t live in the same zip code and THAT’S OK! It’s possible to enjoy things that create sweat. Labors of love exist and attaching your sweat to them is more than appropriate.

You don’t need to drop everything! But dropping these things intelligently can definitely help. Don’t let your life be an accident that you need to clean up later. Make it a journey that you pick up and drop off things along the way. Most people and things are not going to be with you for the long haul and that’s ok. Just give some thought to the load that you’re carrying.

Dropping anchor!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Coming Up Short

Pete Huryk

There are two Hollywood movies that chronicle the story of Steve Prefontaine from the 1990s: Without Limits and Prefontaine. Each have their positives and negatives but I’ve gone back to Without Limits far more often. The racing scenes are done much more effectively, especially the race from Munich that uses actor footage interlaced with footage from the real race. Since the events happened in the 70s and the movies were released in the 90s, I feel no shame in spoiling the fact that Steve Prefontaine takes fourth in the 5,000 meter. Despite a herculean effort to beat the best runners of the time, he came up short.

If the movies are at all accurate, the defeat shook a man who rode very much on his confidence. We never get to find out if he would have rebounded from the defeat because he dies tragically. Although the story is one of an athlete who failed to accomplish his dream, the scenes from that race are amazing especially the end. It shows a man who gave all that he could in the moment and not have quite enough. It is glorious! Glorious? That’s right glorious. Everyone wants to win! Everyone wants to be on top but most are unwilling to do all that it takes to get there and accept the risk of coming up short.

None of us wants to lose, fail or be second best. However taking the chance that it may happen is part of the deal. The guarantees in this world are for mediocre prizes. Anything worth having requires the risk coming up short. Each of us needs to assess our own level of risk taking but be willing to take a chance on something. One thing I can say for certain is that Steve Prefontaine wanted to win that race and left a piece of himself on that track. Coming up short is not the problem, never trying for anything that mattered is!

Give something, all that you have!

Pete

Blogpost, posh, SoccerLifeBalance

The Half Frozen Pond (and POSH)

Pete Huryk

The fully frozen pond is a slick but relatively safe walking space. It can be used for all manner of frivolity including ice skating, hockey, ice fishing or even Curling. The completely unfrozen pond offers an equal measure of possibility with swimming, boating, fishing, diving or just floating. The dangerous pond is the half frozen pond. It offers nothing but uncertainty. At any moment, the surface can crack and leave you in a scramble for survival with hypothermia and drowning both being real possibilities. It is the one to fear and avoid.

The same can be said for commitment to a team. Fully committed players make a good team into a great one because they are not just in it for themselves. The completely uncommitted players are often put on the bench or removed from the team. Just like the ice, the half-committed players are the ones that are dangerous because it’s hard to tell when they’ll crack under the pressure. While players are the easiest to identify with this metaphor, it works equally for fans, management, ownership, etc. Commitment is not just for one group of people to rectify. It is something for all of the different groups who are attached to the club to consider and contribute their part.

This season has been a disappointment to say the least. The POSH looked promising at times early in the season, even without a recognized striker. As time wore on, the pond began to melt and became unstable. The manager was the one who fell through as he was given the cold shoulder by several of the players. Now Grant McCann has been given the task of mending the cracks. With twelve matches remaining and the POSH eight points (plus goal difference) adrift; the team, fans, management, and ownership need to be solid for that time. This is not a task for one or even a handful to complete. At best that is more of the half frozen status quo that has brought us to this point. Everyone who steps onto the pitch, all of the fans in the stands and the ones at home need to solidify in their commitment to the one and only objective: staying in the Championship! The opportunity is not gone. It is only difficult.

My hope is that Peterborough has a cold spring, not literally, you get the metaphor! Rock solid!

Pete