Blogpost, self-reliance

The Magic You’re Looking For

Pete Huryk

When I was a kid, my dad was obsessed with David Copperfield. Not the book by Charles Dickens but the magician from New Jersey. My father did his own little magic shows for kids as well. He had a big box filled with his supplies for the tricks. Due to my proximity to a magician, I knew how some of the tricks worked. So even though David Copperfield’s tricks were on a much larger scale, I knew there was something at work and it wasn’t “magic.”

The secrets of the magician are not found in dusty books handed to them by witches or wizards. Quite the opposite, the magic that they produce comes from a lot of practice and preparation. They need to hide all the work that they’ve done behind the illusion of magic. For the audience, it’s easier to believe in mystical powers than fathom all of the preparation that goes into one of their big illusions.

The magic that you’re looking for is hidden in the work that you’re not doing. Regardless of whether you’re a true magician or a person trying to make the varsity team. More than likely, you’re not going get struck by some cosmic energy that will give you special powers. The key to your big “trick” will come down to whether or not you do the work. And possibly you may need to reuse the magic words that started this paragraph. No! Not abracadabra! The magic that you’re looking for is hidden in the work that you’re not doing. Once you do enough preparation, people will dismiss it as magic, talent, luck or a number of other things. Because it’s just easier to make someone else special rather than admit that they could do something very similar, if they only worked hard enough!

Choose a card… no, direction.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

I’m Ready for Anything

Pete Huryk

These are the final words that Luke Skywalker utters before being thrust onto an adventure. When he said that he was “ready for anything”, he could not have anticipated all that he would endure. Losing a mentor, confronting a variety of evil adversaries, losing his hand, gaining unimaginable powers, helping destroy two Death Stars and redeeming his father were probably not in his mind. They were also not in his capability at that moment. He was more than likely unable to see a future that was so difficult yet grand. 

We’re all on an adventure of some sort. It may not have monsters, scoundrels and laser blasters but it’s an adventure nonetheless. There are so many things that we cannot anticipate about what is coming in the future. Personally, societally, globally… it’s always in flux. So saying “I’m ready for anything” is probably inaccurate. More close to the point might be “I’ll accept what comes my way and I’m willing to learn as I go.” 

You don’t need to be ready for anything right now. It’s unrealistic. Most of us are not ready for to juggle five bowling pins on a unicycle but if that challenge confronted us, we could learn how. That’s the strength of human beings. We’re able to adapt and learn. Most animals come preprogrammed with the things that they need to survive. It’s just not a very complex existence. In order to traverse our complex world, we need to learn and adapt. You’re on an adventure but don’t worry about being ready for anything. Be willing to do anything that you can to make the adventure better.

May the force be with you! Always!

Pete 

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

5 Things I’m Missing About the United Soccer Coaches Convention

Pete Huryk

Unfortunately! I wasn’t able to make the trip to Anaheim for the Convention this year. However, I figured I’d put down a few thoughts that may bring benefits into view of anyone who is at the Convention.

  1. Sessions – Over the years the types of sessions that I’ve focused on have changed. When I first started attending the Convention, I went to as many field sessions as possible. Eventually, I started attending more psychology based discussions. Bill Beswick was always standing room only but then I really got into the work of Dan Abrahams (check out his podcast and follow him on socials). As my coaching turned into more administrative duties as well, I started attending finance sessions. My co-author and I hope to present in Chicago next year to talk about our book that uses soccer to explain finances to people. Regardless of your changing interests or role, there is always something to check out.
  2. Friends/Colleagues – For years, I traveled to the Convention with one of my colleagues and best friends. There is nothing better than getting a long weekend immersed in your greatest passion with one of your best friends. In addition to that, there are friends that I basically only see at the Convention each year. It’s great to catch up with all of these people from my past and meet new people.
  3. The Energy – I know this is an amorphous one but I always walk away from the Convention energized. Whether I got a new drill, networked with a possible collaborator or just sat in all of that soccer with a problem in my program; I love coming away from the Convention feeling like I got a shot of adrenaline.
  4. Proximity – Despite the size of the US, the soccer world within it is not extremely big. Yes, millions of people play the game and it’s widespread. However, at the Convention, a lot of the big players (figuratively speaking) are there. I’ve met a variety of former heroes including Ricky Davis (who is the reason I started playing). David Copeland-Smith (Beast Mode Soccer), who has trained many of the USWNT over the years, was part of our social crew one year. There’s no real reason to get star struck. They’re at the same place for basically the same reason, a love of the game.
  5. The Women – Whoa! Don’t get the wrong idea! I’m a single guy in my 40s but that’s not what I’m talking about. When I first attended the Convention decades ago, it was not exclusively men attending but it was pretty close. Over the past few years, the number of women attending the Convention seems to have increased exponentially. As a father of a teenage girl (who hates soccer damnit!), I love the idea of our female soccer players getting influenced and inspired by women coaches who are dedicated to their craft. The women’s game has so many positives at the moment. I hope that the trend continues this year with female attendance.
  6. Exploring (an extra one) – Anaheim would have been a new city for me. Regardless of the weather, my tradition when I travel is to go for a run every morning through the city. For me, it’s the best way to get to know the area. At the Convention specifically, I enjoy walking through the Exhibit hall without a purpose. Most of the stuff that is there, I’ve seen before. However, as technology gets better and cheaper, it’s great to see what can be done to help soccer players at any level get better.

So if you’re at the Convention, enjoy it! There are so many reasons to be there. Hopefully you’re surrounded by people you know taking in the energy and content.

Stay classy San Diego Anaheim!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Nothing Worked Perfectly, Good!

Pete Huryk

While I can’t pinpoint a particular incident, there are plenty of memories of carefully pulling the paper-thin cassette ribbon from the tape player. Hoping that I’d be able to salvage it. No doubt, it was going to take time and patience but there was no alternative. Many of the tapes that I had were dubbed from friends or recorded from the radio. I’m sure that I silently wished for the ability to have my music in a more portable form without delay or chance of destruction. Now I’m not so sure!

This is not a full argument against technology. I’m thankful for the ease, convenience and accessibility of so many things in our modern world. Yet, I see the pain of what was lost in the process. When most things are available quickly and easily; patience and effort to solve problems become commodities in short supply. The trade off was unintentional but it happened nonetheless. Now that we’re here, I don’t think a return to simpler times is coming by choice. Yet I can’t help but think that we need to put some imperfection back into our lives. Nothing used to work perfectly and that was kind of ok. The expectation wasn’t there.

The irony is not lost on me that this message is coming to you through one of the devices that has taken away many of our “problems”. But I’d be ok with it, if you were to never read my blog again and go on a walk instead. Or built stone wall in your backyard. Or carved a wooden spoon out of a piece of wood. The world moves at an extremely fast pace and the complexity can be overwhelming but we don’t need to give it our attention all the time. Maybe there are some imperfections that are worth looking into. They might help you to see yourself a little bit clearer because despite being miracles, we’re all imperfect!

Perfectly imperfect!

Pete

Blogpost, posh

Unbalanced POSH Fall to Leeds

Pete Huryk

As Hector Kyprianou’s off-balance “shot” went wide of the goal on Sunday, it was the perfect representation of the match. POSH have been in great form for a while now. The loss combined with the performance were relatively uncharacteristic of life at London Road recently. There were moments when the players showed the understanding and fluidity that fans have become accustomed. Unfortunately, it wasn’t consistent enough to find the net or create many chances. For some, it seems be more than just a loss to a highly rated Championship side. They view it as an indication of bigger problems or impending doom if we’re promoted to the Championship. It’s just unbalance!

Played two weeks earlier, I’d be willing to bet (and I’m not a betting man) that POSH win this match. Leeds’ poor recent form aside. The POSH squad was balanced at that time. Although there are several stars within the team, the collection of the pieces and how they interrelated is far more important. The loss of Kioso and Bilokapić caused uncertainty in the play of a side whose success has come from understanding the tendencies of their teammates and being able to predict their movements accurately. Kioso’s recall does NOT mean that we need to sign him at all costs. He is a good player, no doubt. However, it is not him specifically that needs to return. It is the balance and understanding. Whether Katongo or Knight or someone else, Ferguson has proven that he can get these players to meld together. It just doesn’t happen overnight. The defeat is not a sign of anything more than a bit of time is needed to get the balance back. And I know that many love the FA Cup but this was a great result on so many levels.

  • It takes away the distraction from league play.
  • Fergie can “audition” a few alignments and personnel combinations in order to see what really works.
  • The message can be sent to the players (honestly) that they need to improve to reach Championship standards.
  • This is EXACTLY what Fergie signed up to do. Take a young squad filled with unpolished diamonds and get them to play great football together. The departure of one (or more) spells opportunity for others, not doom for the collective.

Over the years, I’ve never been shy about my support for Darren and I won’t be now! This transfer window will be difficult, no doubt. Peterborough United is not Wrexham. We need to sell assets to progress the club forward. So if Edwards, JCH, EMC, Poku, RJJ, Knight and Burrows were all to go in this window, I know one thing for certain. Fergie will get a new set of players up into the promotion places as soon as humanly possible. It’s what he does! It’s who he is! POSH we are! 

The Leeds loss was a blessing. Onward! Forward!

Pete

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

The Coach’s Conundrum and Corollary

Pete Huryk

Last night, I read some really exciting news! Brian White was named to the roster for the US Men’s National Team’s camp this January. While he was in high school, I was lucky enough to coach Brian. His success on the field has everything to do with his choices and dedication to his craft as a player. I am extremely proud of him for all of his achievements, not only because he is a great player but also a great person. However, that pride as a coach is not restricted to Brian and his very public achievement. I am also extremely proud of Mitch, Thomas, Mason, Joe, Trey, Julie, Adrienne, Sarah, Mike M., Mike A., Jeremy and the list goes on. There is so much pride in my almost quarter century coaching career and very little of it has to do with kicking a ball.

During the end of season banquet one year, I was asked to “say a few words.” We had an extremely successful season and that was an amazing ride. However, the theme of my words were that the success of coaching was not to be measured in the wins that we had achieved that season but rather the successful marriages, careers, lives, etc. that would come ten or twenty years down the road. 

The coach’s conundrum (for me at least) is that we want to win the game but we know that game isn’t what matters. Wanting to win is important. Preparing in order to win is important. Not because the game is a matter of life and death. But because the game helps us toward better results in life before our death. Through sport, we learn how to give our all, hopefully in service of something bigger than ourselves, for a finite amount of time. Years of practice, hopefully, lead to progress and mastery. Not only of the skills required to play because those are largely fleeting but the intangibles that come with sport. The results of any individual contest are nowhere near as important as the ripples that sports create through a lifetime of endeavors that require commitment.

Like Ted Lasso tells his son in the first season, being a coach is a lot like being a dad (or mom). It requires a letting go of the control one might want on the result. The strength of a good coach or parent is in the preparation and the long term impact. Some do it without realizing and others are intentional about their influence. Neither is easy and people get it wrong all the time. Especially, when we tend to focus on the things that are fleeting rather than the ones that are lasting. 

Wanting good things for my players is a constant and trying to prepare them for the trials that they’ll face outside of the lines is as well. I’ve not done it perfectly because no one can but I’ve done it with intention. All around the world there are people that I had the privilege to influence for a short period of time and I hope that I helped nudge them closer to whom they were meant to be.

Two things! Thanks for reading and check out my book that explains finances using soccer as a metaphor.

Pete

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

Soccer Moms Save The World

Pete Huryk

Imagine it as the headline on the newspaper (if people still read them) or plastered across your Tiktok, Instagram, Facebook or Twitter (X damnit!) feed. Soccer moms! The often forgotten chauffeurs to legions of youngsters who chase a ball incessantly throughout the country. That makes no sense! Quite the opposite, it makes perfect sense but the credit will never come. The only hope is that the results do.

We live in a tumultuous time with so many layers to our societies and culture. There is division on so many levels throughout the world. Often it can seem as though conflict is the outcome of every encounter with all things up for debate (but more often just labeling and shutting down). It’s a difficult time to be sure but not insurmountable nor particularly new. Throughout human history, empires have risen and fallen. Times of plenty have been followed by time of lack. So going back to my headline idea, the world does not particularly need saving but rather redirecting toward constructive ends.

Then why soccer moms? I’ll deal with the more obvious first. Moms are the force behind the human race. Yes, I know that us dads play our part but there is a lot of heavy lifting at the beginning that requires the mom. One of the problems that I’ve heard about frequently over the past few months is the threat of “under population” that is coming. Just one example but definitely an issue that moms can help to rectify. Many of the others will require leaders who can galvanize people toward a more positive end. All of those leaders will have a mom.

Then why soccer? Soccer is the most popular sport in the world and with good reason. It represents the struggles of life in so many ways that I believe people are inherently drawn to it. The lack of full possession of the ball, skill development over a variety of areas, the need for balance in attack/defense, the limited influence of coaches during actual performance, and so many other facets make soccer the world’s game. It is a truly simple game that is utterly complex in its application depending on the level of the players. Just like life!

So as the world continues to run into issues, the course will need to be redirected. Moms are bound to be major players in the nudging of society and culture. The beautiful game teaches so many principles that can be applied routinely to the bigger game of life. It stands to reason that Soccer Moms (could) Save the World. The question is what direction to nudge? 

With economic upheaval looming in the near future, finance might be the place to start. Financial literacy is not taught in most schools. Most kids are not going to learn about this topic on their own. They need to be nudged and given a vehicle to get there (sorry for the extra driving moms). My friend/co-author and I took the time to create that vehicle. “Setting and Scoring Financial Goals” is our attempt to give young people that understanding that they need to make good financial decisions.

We’re living in unprecedented times where information is at our fingertips and individuals do have the ability to unite as one voice or echo a voice that’s worth hearing. Perhaps the combination of these two hugely influential forces could be used to make for a better tomorrow if the right echos were heard by the young players in their care.

Mother’s Day is May 12th this year. Just an FYI!

Pete   

Blogpost, self-reliance

Aliving!

Pete Huryk

Playing with language is one of my favorite things to do. We capture our experiences in words. Or perhaps evaluate or maybe even create through these sound and character accumulations. Our minds get a different picture or experience depending on the words that we use and how we use them. Push and shove mean basically the same thing but put into the context of a situation, they can be miles apart. So we need to be deliberate and sometimes careful with the words that we use. Sometimes I like to take a page out of my favorite author’s playbook (Dr. Seuss). I make up words to fit my purposes.

Today I didn’t do it on purpose. ”Aliving” was the product of my writing too quickly but it might serve my needs. If you’re reading this, then you’re living. Breathing, drinking, eating, sleeping, talking, walking, etc. you’re doing that thing in the present, right now! It’s an action. And almost the same exact meaning, you’re alive. It’s a state that you’re in. It’s adjective that describes you at the moment. So what if we put them together? Did a word double down on it! What if you weren’t just living or alive? You were aliving!

You weren’t just going through the motions and being the normal you. You had that extra pep in your step, you were seeing things clearly, recognizing how special this thing is that you’re doing right now! (Pete, I’m on the toilet reading this.) Yep! In structure that keeps you safe from the cold in winter and you don’t have to smell that crap ten minutes later because its flushed away! Aliving could be living life at a higher cadence. Most days you could be living but every once in a while, you could choose to be aliving.

It’s a silly concept isn’t it? Making up a word to get the most out of the moment you’re living. So much of what we do is silly. Hours of looking at photos of people that we don’t know that make us feel badly about our life even though the two are not connected at all. Reliving a mental picture of our worst mistakes despite not being able to fix them. Most of what we do is pretty silly when put under a microscope. So it comes down to how you want to run your life. It’s really up to you. Either way, you’re alive (unless I bored you to death, Sorry dead dude!) But now you may consider taking another step up the ladder by ALIVING!

It’s a great day to be alive-ing!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Other Hard

Pete Huryk

It was literally freezing cold this morning at 6:45 when I went out for my run. My knee was aching a it and that one hill on my loop is a monster! The cold air burns a bit more in my lungs as my legs churn slowly up the incline. Whenever I talk about morning runs, triathlons, ice baths or the like, a large percentage of people say silently or aloud “no thanks!” It’s not that they can’t do those things. They choose not to and that’s ok. They may be choosing the “other hard.”

One of the reasons why we choose not to do things is that they are “hard.” Getting up early to workout, getting the grades required for acceptance into Harvard, becoming a neurosurgeon, winning a State Championship, etc. are all difficult in their own right. None of them are impossible but they require a momentary or consistent choice to do the “hard” thing. Most people choose not do them and that is ok. Often, I think we’re slightly blind to the “other hard.”

Recently, something was drawn to my attention. The choice not to do the hard thing or even go to the other extreme and do the easy, results in consequences. The results of choosing the easy, often lead to the other hard. Not working out regularly, leads health issues and poor mental states. A lack of study or cheating leads to a lack of mental capability that is found out eventually. Half effort in practice leads to disappointing results on the field and sense of opportunity left on the table. 

Doing the hard thing up front, does not guarantee the results that you’re after. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nor does the shunning of the hard upfront necessarily lead to catastrophic results. There is no 100% cause effect relationship. However, the human animal was built to endure hard things and we have throughout our history. That’s how we got to this point in our development as a species. Now that the hard things are no longer thrust upon us daily, we must choose to seek them out or not. When we do hard things, we tend to feel good about ourselves and that’s a big part of the equation that’s missing for people. They want things to be easy but then feel slightly empty or disappointed by the results. The other hard is often invisible which makes it more sinister. The initial hard is honest and upfront about what it is. 

This is not a cry for everyone to live a Spartan lifestyle and forego every opportunity to enjoy life. It’s a call for clarity and responsibility. Your choices are yours to make and consequences come with them. Walk a path that you believe in and can be proud of when the consequences arrive. 

Blogpost, self-reliance

Upward Spirals

Pete Huryk

During my youth, I had the unique opportunity to visit the Statue of Liberty with my Boy Scout troop. At that time, a group of us decided to brave the ascent to the crown, a journey requiring us to conquer a long, ancient spiral staircase. I’ve seen images of renovated stairs, but back then, they were weathered and you could peer through the steps into the inner workings of Lady Liberty herself. Occasional resting platforms dotted the path, meant for those weary from the climb. But for someone like me, who’s afraid of heights, even the thought of stopping on those platforms was daunting.

As I ascended that stairwell, a worst-case scenario crossed my mind: What if someone tumbled backward while climbing? Packed tightly, one person’s misstep could spell disaster for all. My dizziness and nausea started to creep in. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I was facing forward. If I did fall, I would land on my face on the steps, but at least I’d be okay. By the time I reached the crown, I barely took a glance at the view. As I turned around, my prior fear confronted me anew. The descent presented the same possibility of falling, but now I was facing that direction. For my younger self, it was a nerve-wracking and scary experience, and I despised every moment of that descent. So much so that I can’t even recall who convinced me to embark on this ordeal because it was precisely that bad.

Downward spirals in life can be equally nerve-wracking and terrifying. Things often seem normal at first, but then a series of setbacks starts to nudge you slightly off your upward trajectory. It’s like the gradual descent on that Statue of Liberty staircase. Your perspective gets faced away from your goal to the fear of a fall. However, it’s crucial to understand that the staircase itself isn’t wavering; it’s you.

In such moments, remember that you are not helpless. Take a breath. Pause and reflect on your path. Ask yourself if the “crown” you’re striving for is genuinely worth it. If it is, refocus on your goal and take the next step forward. Falling on your face while climbing upward is still not problematic.

Your fear of a fall can either be your enemy or your ally. When it encourages you to focus on the process and take each step carefully, it becomes your ally. But if it makes you nervous and causes you to freeze, then it’s your enemy. You have the power to choose how you perceive and utilize fear. Transform it into a driving force that keeps you grounded and aware of your journey.

And here’s a crucial perspective: If you’re going to fall (or fail), do so while moving forward. Every stumble is an opportunity to learn, to pick up new information, or to understand what doesn’t work. In essence, fall forward. Gain something from your missteps, even if it’s just the wisdom to navigate future challenges better.

So, as you navigate life’s spiral staircase that can be overwhelming, remember that you have the power to choose your perspective. The crown is within reach if you stay focused and resilient.

The difference between an upward and downward spiral is focus.

Pete