In my dating years, the term “trading up” was used quite often.  I’m not sure if it is still common but it basically meant finding a new and better boy/girlfriend before breaking up with your present one.  It was a regular practice that safeguarded the person against the uncertainty of being single while creating the possibility of a “better” relationship.  Trading up is not an unreasonable reaction for someone who is searching for better.

In many areas, the idea of better is completely subjective.  Partners, jobs, towns, sports and so many other things can be held up in comparison with “better” only being true in the eye of each individual beholder.  Despite this subjectivity, we use these comparisons to find the people, things and situations that will make us happy.  The search for better is a natural human inclination.  All of our senses are keenly attuned to find the subtle differences that make someone or something better.

The most difficult place to look is often the place that we are most familiar.  In the trading up of the dating world, I wonder how often the thought has arisen “what if I were better?”  It is easy to be self-righteous and assume that we are faultless.  Unfortunately we all know that it isn’t true.  So wouldn’t it serve us all, if the search was not for a better partner or place but a search for a better self?  Then we might live up rather than trade up.  There would be no deception and no fear of being single because we would know our value from staring it in the mirror each day.

Perhaps you do need to move on to a new person, place or situation but remember that the one thing that you will always carry with you is YOU!  So be prepared in that better situation to be better yourself.

Be better today!

Pete

The United States Women’s National Team (USWNT) will be playing in the semi-final of the Women’s World Cup tomorrow.  In the soccer world there is a lot of discussion about how the team has played, coaching decisions and comparisons to their competition.  Depending on who reads this post, I may be crucified for my next statement but it is the main point of my post.  The USWNT will most likely not raise the Cup this year.

The reason that this could be an inflammatory statement is the expectation that surrounds the USWNT.  The fact that they have won the Cup twice before has created an underlying feeling that we should do it again.  The casual sports fan can get behind the USWNT because there’s a possibility of a winner.

On the flipside of that equation is the US Men’s National Team.  Success is measured by much smaller milestones.  It is not that the USMNT is horrible but we enter international competition with hope rather than expectation.  A loss in the semi-final of a World Cup for the men is a great success.  The same result for the women is a disappointment, even against an opponent like Germany.  I haven’t dealt with “Soccer Issues” in a while on the site but this seemed the perfect time to meld this thought with a message.

Expectation and hope are slightly different degrees of the same emotion.  The difference lies in the amount of certainty prior to the event.  They both have their place in life and should be used in the proper situation.  With regards to most things, I would prefer to look at most situations with hope.  It is one of the reasons why I support underdog teams.  There is a sense of doubt that brings focus and passion.  Expectation can bring complacency.  Very few things are certain in this life.  With expectation, failure is more crushing because you’ve lost something that you thought was yours.  With hope, you realize that nothing is inherently yours and the possibility is as exciting as the achievement.

“Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things” -Andy Dufresne

Good luck tomorrow ladies!

Pete