Category: self-reliance

Blogpost, self-reliance

Lesser Known Heroes

Pete Huryk

The “Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman” eventually breaks out of the neighborhood, becomes an Avenger and travels to space. There was a certain point at which only people from a small locality knew about him. If he had stayed small time, would his contributions have been less or just less well known? It’s a question of scale but do lesser known heroes, matter less? The likelihood of any of us having a global impact is pretty low. However, we all can have an individual impact at any moment. So perhaps it’s not scale but consistency that matters.

With so many of the things that we do in life, the opportunity for impact comes in almost direct proportion to frequency. Breathing, heart pumping, showing up, exercising, and so many other activities gain traction and get exponential returns based on their consistency. There is the possibility of overdoing it but most people tend to err on the side of never rather than too much.

So taking those two ideas and melding them together gives opportunity. Doing good for the masses is probably not happening and neither is the big ticket item of saving the world from cataclysm. The opportunity does exist for each of us to do our own small bit to help those who are within our reach. Perhaps that may even mean regularly saving yourself from yourself (yep, that’s a thing). Lesser known heroes are not any less important. They help to keep the world from falling into the pervasive chaos that no Avenger could handle. So whether you think of yourself as a hero or not, suit up and get to work. The world needs you! Ok maybe not the entire world, but definitely YOUR world!

Hero up!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

My Lazy Eye

Pete Huryk

We all have our imperfections. One of mine is my “lazy eye” that’s actually not the medical term for what it is but it’s a functional description. Generally it happens when I’m tired, my one eye will just lose focus and move to the side. It’s something that I’ve had for so long that I don’t give it too much thought. From time to time, I’ll point it out in my classes. Not because I want encourage ridicule but in the hope that other people won’t be so concerned about their own imperfections.

Owning up to all that you are is difficult. We are weird, inconsistent, preoccupied and insecure beings. Some people have the strategy of covering up all of their imperfections or at least trying to do so. Others overcompensate with strengths or outlandishness. I’m not really in a position to judge. None of this easy! Sitting inside of our own skin and feeling comfortable there is a full time job. Meditate, compensate, communicate, love your mate…. (Go INXS!) They are all viable options but finding one that works in all situations is tough.

The world is not always going to celebrate you for exactly who you are. However there are times and places where your imperfections are exactly what’s needed. Recognize and lean into those because your chances of generalized acceptance of your oddities is probably not on the horizon. Don’t be the fish who keeps trying to climb a tree! The world is probably never going to love you, it doesn’t do that for anyone. However there’s a possibility that you could love yourself and a lot of other people would too! Lazy eye and all!

F%&$ing Alexa was playing this song this morning and it was catchy enough to force me to write this post.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

It Won’t Always Be Pretty

Pete Huryk

This is by far one of my favorite photos of all time! I’m fairly certain that I didn’t love the moment but I love the memory. My daughter was sitting on my chest and bam! Spit up on the nose, maybe up the nose and definitely a bit in the mouth. Luckily the camera crew got a quick shot of it. There’s nothing to do but laugh! She didn’t mean to do it and she was so darn cute, how could I be mad?

It’s not always going to be so simple to find the beauty in life’s “ugly” moments. We’d all (in theory) love to have everything come up roses but it rarely does. Also there is a bit of extra spice that comes with things that go wrong. Since 1998, when I attended the World Cup, my most commonly told stories are about the loss of a passport, filing a police report and getting pushed by a riot cop. I rarely talk about the games and I was watching my favorite sport with my best friend. Our desire for everything to go well and be easy is both unrealistic and inconsistent with our ability to find the good in bad situations.

So if you’re going through one of those moments when you have the “vomit” of life all over your face, rejoice in the fact that you’ve most likely got a good story for the future. Also it is good context for when things are going well. You’ll appreciate them that much more!

“Anything I’ve ever said is not as good as you”

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Water Feels Like Jello

Pete Huryk

Less than two weeks to my sprint triathlon and training has been ramped up in a lot of ways. Due to the swim being my weakest part of the race, I’m overcompensating by putting more time and distance into the pool, double to be exact. For the moment, I’m swimming 1,500 meters each day with only a short break at the halfway point (the actual race distance). It’s the oddest feeling but directly after my break, the water feels thicker and heavier. The consistency of it reminds me of melted Jello. It’s a feeling that only lasts for a lap or so but it felt worth noting.

Consistency and momentum are two things that have relevance in so many parts of our lives. Often the stopping of an action or habit can lead to that feeling of “starting over” or the slog. It’s a little different than what Seth Godin refers to as “The Dip”. That’s a barrier near the beginning of a new thing when the “fun” and progress have stopped but you need to push through. The Jello experience is starting back up on an endeavor that’s well underway. Just don’t let the Jello stop you! It’s easy to lose momentum. Rainy days, flakey workout partners, a headache, a poor attitude, etc. can all be Jello until you work through them. The problem comes when jello is repeatedly given too much notice and it hardens or worse turns into cement.

Decide what it is that you truly want. Momentum and consistency are strong forces that can carry us through so many obstacles. If you’ve already decided the level of your commitment before the Jello comes, it’s nothing more than an annoyance, not an obstacle. The decision fatigue of rehashing what you truly want makes the Jello stronger than it should be. If you’re not sure, it can drown you! So keep going!

Not as bad as it seems!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Pay Attention!

Pete Huryk

This morning on my run, I was posting one of my typical Instagram videos. As I was walking, I heard a hissing. At that moment, I looked up from my phone and there was a goose accosting me for being too close to its chicks. By all means, I was in the wrong and should have been more aware of my surroundings. Sad to say, it happened again about a quarter mile down the path. A teenage girl with blue hair was off to the side with her pet lizard but I did not see them until I was about to pass by.

On a normal day, I would not have thought too much of these events. Luckily a friend introduced me to a documentary on Netflix called “My Octopus Teacher”. It’s the story of a man who visits the same site in the ocean for almost a year and “befriends” an octopus. In the beginning, he is less than perfect at reading the clues left behind and how to relate to the creature. Over time he understands what to pay attention to and just how much he had to learn from another life form.

Our world has a tendency to be so very loud and “in your face” that we often lose subtle or even not so subtle details. I know that I’ve bungled this majorly in recent weeks. It’s so easy to become enamored with your own perspective, objectives or desires that all details are lost. Therefore we end up with only a partial version of the world. We are always working with less information than is available but often the loudest signals are not the most important. Filtering that which is coming in becomes the paramount skill.

As I will say to my students from time to time, “it doesn’t take any cash to pay attention.” It looks like I need to heed my own advice. There is a full and beautiful world out there with subtlety that someone could spend a lifetime on. That type of beauty tends to get lost when we’re racing to the next thing. We can’t take it all in but figuring out what matters to us and paying attention to it is crucial!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Butterflies Are Coming Back

Pete Huryk

Although some species of butterflies have a lifecycle that spans the winter, I tend to link them with spring. This morning I saw the first caterpillar of the season crawling along to find a place to chrysalis or cocoon. In a short amount time, it will turn into a butterfly and flap its wings merrily for the delight of onlookers.

Many of us have gone through a long winter (either literally or figuratively). It’s completely understandable to lose hope that it would ever end. When everything is barren for so long, seeing the next stage can be difficult if not impossible. Bundling up inside of a cocoon might seem like the right kind of idea and perhaps it is. Regardless of how one copes with the darkness of a season, remember that the butterflies are coming back! Those opportunities to see life in all of its beautiful splendor are only a short time away. They may seem to be moving at a caterpillar’s pace and maybe they are. Nature and so many other things cannot be forced to move any faster than their own speed.

So don’t lose heart! The butterflies are coming and it’s more than likely that they’ll be worth the wait. The most precious things in life usually are.

“I think I’m scared, Do I talk too much?”

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Something Out of Nothing

Pete Huryk

Each moment of our day is not a blank canvas. There’s already a background with component pieces that must be considered. However each moment is a new opportunity to make something great happen out of seemingly nothing. As the line from one of my favorite one hit wonders goes “I’m not expecting to grow flowers in the desert.” The impossible doesn’t appear on its own and without effort. There needs to be intentional thought put into making something out of nothing. Luckily or unluckily, we’ve become programmed into thinking that only the truly extraordinary matters. I’d say that’s probably where we’ve lost most of our opportunity. Taking the “nothing” moments and turning them into something is a superpower that needs to be developed.

As I was on my run today, the song “In a Big Country” by Big Country came on and reframed the moment and many recent events.

“So take that look out of here it doesn’t fit you
Because it’s happened doesn’t mean you’ve been discarded
Pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted
I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can’t stay here with every single hope you had shattered”

Words that I know I’ve heard hundreds or possibly thousands of times before put a pin in my experience. That moment with all of these normal ingredients had truly transformed from nothing into something. A moment of reckoning where the next moment, day, week, month, or year has the possibility to be different. The onus is on me though because that moment could easily be washed away. The reverse is also possible. We turn something into nothing all of the time because we’re too busy, tired, scared or indifferent. Making something out of nothing takes effort.

So if you’ve been knocked down, “pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming, cry out for everything you ever might have wanted!” because “you can’t stay here with every single hope you had shattered!” It’s on you to make the next moment great but it won’t be if you’re too busy to see the possibilities.

“But I can live and breathe
And see the sun in wintertime!”

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

We’re Going Streaking!

Pete Huryk

Putting in a lot of hours on the stationary bike has necessitated the watching of some older movies. The most recent watch was the classic comedy Old School. A band of past their prime men unite with some college students in order to form a fraternity and craziness ensues. Like most of the silly comedies of the genre, the heroes rally a form of victory despite their lazy and generally idiotic ways. Although there is plenty to focus on from this film, the one scene that I want to revisit is Frank “The Tank” doing a lone streaking run.

With a microphone in hand and no inhibitions to be found, Will Ferrell’s character screams at the top of his lungs, “We’re going streaking!” He attempts to lead a group of naked followers through the quad and into the gymnasium. The problem is that no one follows. So he is a solo nudist running down the middle of the street to be found by his wife and her friends. It’s the beginning of the end of Frank’s marriage as he tumbles out of the trust tree and fully into his alter ego of Frank the Tank. Of course in this movie, idiocy is celebrated but how about real life?

Derek Sivers has a great Ted Talk about “starting a movement”. The key difference between an idiot and a movement is often numbers. The right ideas are not always the ones that win. Galileo was excommunicated even though he was right. It’s the lone idiot who can get people to follow them that wins the day. Since the best ideas don’t always win and traction often matters more than objective truth, what causes should we look to champion? This is where the Frank the Tank example truly matters.

The causes that are truly worth it are the ones where you’re not afraid to be the lone idiot streaking. Frank’s cause may not have been intelligent or popular but he went at it with full force. Our passion and not our popularity should decide the direction that we run. And the other uncomfortable but necessary part to any passion project is that there are times where forward motion is going to require us to be naked and unafraid. It won’t always be pretty but it will be genuine.

You’re my boy Blue!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Overlap of Heroes

Pete Huryk

It turns out that two of my heroes actually crossed paths. Teddy Roosevelt was presenting at an awards assembly where a young Dr. Seuss was supposed to receive an medal for selling war bonds. Unfortunately for the future author, he was last in line. For some reason there was one award missing. The very brusque former President asked “What’s this boy doing here?” A very embarrassed Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss’ real name) scurried off the stage and developed a fear of making public appearances. It was neither man’s best moment.

The thing about heroes is that we often want to see them a perfect, indestructible or superhuman. They are none of the above and are just as human as the rest of us. Foibles, failures and fractures happen to all human beings regardless of the esteem that they accumulate throughout their lives. Although they feel their own imperfection, the rest of the world tends to heap a status of extraordinary upon them. The part of that word to focus on is the “ordinary”. That’s all that they are with a bit of extra focus, extra care, extra work, extra creativity or extra effort. Otherwise they are just like the rest of us.

It’s so much easier isn’t it? Seeing our heroes as superhuman! That perspective lets us off the hook. If we see that we overlap with them in so many simple ways, perhaps the spectacular is right at our fingertips. Could it be that all we are missing is that little bit extra? Possibly! Maybe the fear isn’t that we’re not as good but that we’re capable of the same and we don’t want the expectation that comes with extraordinary. Whether you want to believe it or not, you overlap with heroes. Can you become your own?

See where extra takes you today!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Don’t Let Gumby Beat You (leveraging your self-image)

Pete Huryk

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” I’ve heard it more than enough times in my life and I tend to believe it as a general rule. Especially in our social media world where a constant barrage of possible comparison points comes to our pocket, it can be easy to get sucked into a whirlpool of self-esteem damaging photos, videos and messages. It’s an uphill battle to say the least and the options or ending the conflict seems to be surrender or retreat. Neither of those options is 100% healthy nor practical. So my suggestion is leveraging it when it’s appropriate. Below is an example.

My uncle Bob, yes! the actor from a prior blogpost, was an accomplished runner in his 20s. In 1980, he qualified for and ran the famed Boston Marathon. In 1995, he was trying to make a return to Boston for the 100th running of the race by qualifying in the New York Marathon. At the halfway point, he was on target to qualify for Boston. Unfortunately he got a leg cramp and hobbled for a bit. He was considering dropping out of the race. That all changed when a person dressed in a Gumby costume passed by him. Something inside of him would not accept being beaten by Gumby! So he got back into the race and finished with a very respectable time of 4:00:56.

Comparison can be a problem there is no doubt about it. Looking at Bill Gates’ financial success is only going to make my financial world seem pathetic. However, complete denial of comparison is probably an unrealistic goal for most of us. Perhaps the Buddhist monks have it figured out but I sure don’t. So the only thing that makes sense to me is to leverage it when it is useful and ignore it when it isn’t. Uncle Bob got more out of himself with the brief comparison to Gumby. It was a catalyst to get him to do something that was in line with his abilities and goals on a particular day. He did not feel horrible at the finish line because he hadn’t won. That was a comparison that would not have served him. Nor did he compare his fame to the green claymation character. It was a tool that was used but then discarded.

So unless you are channeling your inner monk, there is a good chance that you are comparing from time to time. Let most of them go because they don’t serve. When it makes sense because your goals and abilities align with some healthy competition, so be it. Another option is having what Simon Sinek refers to as a “worthy rival“. They are not simply a competitor to be beaten. Instead they serve as mirror for us to look at ourselves and seeing their strengths allows us to see ourselves more clearly. In the long term the human experience is not set up in a win/loss scenario. There are too many metrics to determine who “wins” at life. However it is possible to define for yourself how to live a “good life” and align your goals and objectives with that. Seeing people who are already doing that which you want can be helpful and powerful, provided that you don’t bury yourself under the weight of comparison.

Who do you want to be? Now go be that!

Pete