Category: Blogpost

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

When Heroes Endure

Pete Huryk

Ricky Davis 79Time brings everything into perspective.  It is only with time that we can look back and see the moments that have shaped us.  Deciphering which moments will be truly important as they happen can be almost impossible.  It is amazing to think that a chance meeting from my childhood started me down a path that I follow to this day.  Even more surprising is that another encounter with that same person gave me more inspiration in my present day life.

Ricky Davis was a member of the New York Cosmos in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s.  He was a young American player on a team of international superstars.  It was during this time that he was invited to attend a block party by a fan, Tony Gonsalvez.  I was a seven year old kid at the party who knew nothing about soccer.  However when Ricky started kicking the ball around with a group of kids, I was happy to jump in.  That is my first memory of kicking a soccer ball, it changed my life and I’ve never forgotten it.

At the National Soccer Coaches Association of America’s annual Convention, I got the chance to sit down with Rick and talk about some of his experiences and beliefs about soccer both then and now.

Q: Did you view yourself as a trailblazer or pioneer for soccer in America while playing for the Cosmos?

We didn’t look at ourselves as trailblazers or pioneers.  We felt extremely fortunate to play with an awesome team and for an awesome organization.  Reflecting back now it’s easier to see how things have developed but at the time, we just felt fortunate.  It’s awesome to look back and say “I played a part in that” but at the time it was hard not to think how lucky we were to be playing for that team.

Q: What do you think about your legacy?  How does it feel to have players like myself say that you were the reason we started playing?

It feels great!  It’s part of the evolution of the game in this country.  I came into the situation with possibly a naive perspective because I believed that professional athletes were the closest thing there was to perfect human beings.  They didn’t drink or smoke.  Doing things to help keep themselves fit were all part of a value system that I brought with me when I came to the team.  In many ways I learned that wasn’t the case but did that mean that I needed to change?  I feel that I’ve got this debt to the game.  I was fortunate to have all of these experiences and memories and now I’m just trying to pay it back.  Much of what I did was to invest in the game and the community because I wanted people to love the game that I loved.  

Q: What were some of your attributes and life experiences that allowed you to be successful at that time?

It started because I had a good family.  My parents were actively involved.  Much of my values came from my parents.  My dad used to joke that everybody should work a solid half day (12 hours).  When there was extra stuff to be done, the clinics, public appearances and other things were part of that twelve hours.  Whether I needed to work on my own or do those other things, I needed to give 100%.  I was raised with a strong work ethic.  Also had great influencers within the team, Pele, Franz Beckenbauer, Johan Neeskens, I couldn’t be them but I could learn from them.  My belief was that I could learn from anybody.  After the games, I would go into the parking lot and talked to fans.  They would give suggestions and there were gems there for me to take.  If nothing else, I heard things that were important to them.  These were things that I took from my parents and tried to pass onto my own kids.  It’s not what you want to get out of it, it’s what you put into it and you’ll get back.

Q: What do you believe is special about this game?

It’s a game for everybody.  Almost anyone can get involved unlike many of the traditional American sports.  The reality is that a kid can be a part of something regardless of their size or ability and they’re equally part of the team.  You can be small like Messi or Maradona.  You can be big like Ibrahimovic.  Soccer is truly the game of the people.

Q: Where are we going as a soccer nation? 

As a nation we’re going in a great direction.  When I see soccer touching our little part of Kansas, it makes me believe that soccer is taking strides forward.  Soccer is becoming part of America’s fiber.  Was the NASL a bad thing?  No, it was a part of our evolution.  I see a national team that is way more competitive than my generation was.  The public is much more accepting of the sport.  The Cosmos was unique.  Even though many of our players were in the twilight of their careers, we were able to play with almost any team in the world.  Set the Cosmos aside though.  If you look at the teams now, they are drawing good sized crowds. Soccer specific stadiums are huge.  The people investing in soccer in this country, it obvious that it’s a long term commitment to the sport.  

Q: What is your involvement in Futpong?

The idea is not new.  We played similar games with the Cosmos.  If you thought the games on the field were intense, you should have seen these games.  The games used to be very improvised but we’ve now standardized it with a small net and a small ball.  Futpong is designed to develop their touch and fine motor skills.  Our hope is that this will help develop the touch and control.  We want it to be fun and stimulating.

Rick Davis 2016It was a great treat for me to be able to sit down with Rick.  The nostalgia factor would have been enough for me  in this interview but our discussion made me respect the man behind the memory even more.  His commitment to family, hard-work and openness to learning from anyone were all examples of why my respect for him has grown.  Anyone who has read my material long enough knows that I don’t truly believe in heroes because we should strive to be our own hero.  However I do believe in role models.  Even though I didn’t know it as a 7 year old, I chose a very good role model and learned a few things from him as a 40 year old.  The game does not make us who we are but rather draws out that which is already inside of us.  I’m glad that the game brought Rick and I together twice.

Thanks Rick!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Soccer for the 21st Century

Pete Huryk

The 20th Century of the United States was largely dominated by an industrial economy.  The US rode the wave of the industrial revolution into prominence on the world stage.  Factories flourished thanks to interchangeable parts and largely interchangeable people.  Most workers in the 20th Century were able to earn a substantial living by doing simple repetitive tasks under the orders of their bosses.

In this system, it is no wonder that the sport of the century was Football.  In so many ways, football was representative of the American way.  It was progressive.  Moving forward was success and moving backward was failure.  It mirrored our historical land acquisition with its own “land acquisition”.  The decisions were made by a few bosses and executed by largely  interchangeable people.  The sport was the perfect corollary for the industrial age and both served the country well in their time.

Now that the industrial age has passed and we have moved into what many are calling the “Connection Economy”.  The people who create value in the market place are not interchangeable cogs in a vast machinery.  Cogs can be replaced, automated or outsourced to other countries.  True value in the modern economy is created by an individual whose contributions are irreplaceable and unique.

This change begs for a different representation in sport.  The football model of “run the play” holds little value when the rules of the game change so quickly.  Soccer’s flexibility and subjectivity require that players deal with complex problems and must make individual decisions for the betterment of the collective.  Since each player is a decision maker, principles rather than directives are the dictating forces.  No one person is in control.  Therefore players must learn to control themselves and direct themselves in an uncertain environment.

The beautiful game will become “America’s Game”.  It is just a matter of time.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Fewer Selfies, More Mirrors

Pete Huryk

MirrorAt the present moment, the “selfie” has become so common place that it is almost a requirement at any social function involving young people.  It is the photographic representation that “I was there”.  Although showing up is an important part of the equation, it has inexplicably become a standard of achievement rather than the bare minimum.  The problem with the selfie is that anyone can fake it for a fraction of a second.  There needs to be more to life than a collection of rehearsed faces and hand gestures.  We need to look in mirrors rather than practicing our poses.

The beauty of the mirror is that it does not lie.  Stand in front of a mirror for long enough and you’ll realize that your best friend and worst enemy are staring back at you.  In this duplicity you’ll find everything that you could possibly need to achieve your every desire.  You’ll also find most of the road blocks that will stand in your way.   The mirror is going to tell it like it is.  It won’t accept fake poses for very long.  Fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, average or anything else are all there for you to deal with.  As you begin to look at who you truly are in the mirror, you’ll recognize that showing up is not enough.  Faking it for an instant is not enough.  The world expects more!  Now you can either hide behind the mask of poses or accept the challenge to carry the mirror with you.

The mirror may reside in your head or in your heart but it can be with you always.  As you go through your day, you can look to see if you are being true to yourself.  Your best self!  Throughout the day checking to see if you’re going in the right direction to those places that you desire to go.  As you get closer, you’ll notice that the reflection in the mirror gets better and it’s easier to look.  When you finally reach your goal, I suppose you could take a selfie….  But the picture you have inside of who you’ve become is so much better.  So for today, don’t just show up!  Wake up, stand up and look in the mirror.  Then keep working until you’re ecstatic with what you see!

I see you!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

You’re Not Special

Pete Huryk

BoltThere is very little that is inherently special about any of us.  Most of us are of average height, income, etc.  Even if you are an outlier in height or something else, you’re most likely average in other ways.  Special is not a divine right handed down through genealogy.

Special is a choice.    It takes a different mentality to do the things that other people will not or cannot.  Showing up is not particularly special unless the place that you show up is the top of Mt. Everest.  In each moment, we have a choice to be special or be like everyone else.  Being special yesterday gives you no guarantee toward being special today.  You’ve got to put chips back on the table, double down if you can because the world owes you absolutely nothing!  The word ‘deserve’ belongs exclusively to those that have chosen to do more.

So what will you be today?  Will you choose to be special or be just like everyone else?  Special is a choice that you can either make or be disappointed in the thought that it wasn’t your day to be chosen as ‘special’.  It’s not a gift, it’s a choice!

Blogpost, self-reliance

The V.O.C.

Pete Huryk

VocIn today’s high-speed world, people use acronyms more often than ever before.  In the past people hoped to be the MVP, a VIP or the CEO.    Now we are saying IDK, LOL, BRB and other things that I don’t even feel comfortable writing in acronym form.  Today I’ve decided to coin my own acronym.  It applies to many people and even applies to me at times.  Rather than being a VIP, we seem intent upon being the V.O.C.

The VOC is the Victim Of Circumstance.  It’s a really tough place to live.  Circumstances keep piling up on these individuals that they don’t like.  The world has thrust all of this upon them.  They don’t like their job, school, boyfriend/girlfriend, lack of popularity, lack of influence or prospects for the future.  These people have it, THE WORST EVER!.  Go ahead and try to tell them about a bad situation in your life and they can find one from theirs that is ten times worse.  The worst thing in most cases about being a member of the VOC club is that you have to choose to be a member!

That is one heck of a choice to make.  There are many things in this world that we should choose to be, a victim should not be one of them.  The problem with being a victim is the lack of power.  It is by nature a position of weakness and defense.  At some point the VOC decided that it was better to be weak, defensive and blameless rather than taking responsibility for themselves.  This is a dangerous bargain to make because eventually it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When you are wearing brown tinted glasses, everything in the world looks like feces.

So rather than being the VOC, become the DOC.  The Director Of Circumstances is not completely in control of circumstance but acts more like a traffic cop.  The DOC decides what he or she will let pass and what needs to be stopped and evaluated further.  The traffic cop is separate from the traffic.  They may cause it, they may alleviate it but they are not the traffic.  Ultimately, they can usually move to a different intersection if their position becomes too much to handle.  It is a game of choice.

Direct your life today!  Don’t be a victim within it!

Pete

 

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Life is…

Pete Huryk

1998In 1998, my best friend, Schaefer, and I spent a month in Europe.  We truly went to watch five matches at the World Cup but we also traveled to England, Spain, Germany and France.  In many ways you could not have picked a more perfect vacation for me: best friend, Europe and soccer.

We actually arrived prior to the Cup starting and did some traveling in England and then headed to Barcelona, Spain.  After spending about three days in Barcelona, we were scheduled to take a train to Paris on Sunday in order to pick up our ticket and start the soccer part of our trip.  That Saturday, we were taking the Metro down to the Las Ramblas area.  We sat on the bench waiting for the train.  Schaef was rearranging some things between his money belt and backpack when the train arrived.  Thirty seconds after the train pulled away, Schaef realized that he’d left his money belt on the bench with his passport in it.  (Don’t judge Schaef here, out of character moment.)  At the next stop we turned around and went back but the money belt and everything in it was gone.

We figured out where the US Embassy was and took the train to get there.  Please bear in mind that the internet was not as widely accessible at the time.  Upon our arrival we were hit with the next problem, it was Saturday and the Embassy was closed.  The only person at the Embassy was a guard who only spoke Spanish.  I explained the situation to the guard and he put me on the phone with an official from the Embassy.  In order to cross the border into France (pre European Union), we needed a copy of his passport (we had) and a police report explaining that the passport had been stolen.  My Spanish abilities were put to the test by filling out a police report.  So the next day we went to the train station with our flimsy documents and a great deal of hope.  Luckily we made it across the border.

On Monday morning we had our next hurdle to clear.  We needed to pick up our tickets before 5pm at a hotel on the outskirts of Paris.  Since the tickets were in Schaef’s name, we needed his passport first.  We went to the US Embassy in Paris and spent hours waiting.  I don’t recall what time we got there but I know what time we left 4:30pm.  As fast as we could run with our large packs on our backs, we got to the Metro.  We found the street we needed on the Metro map.  There were two stops on that street but we had no idea which would be closer to the hotel.  50/50 chance and we blew it!  The hotel was about a mile up the road and it was 4:55.  So again, we ran as fast as we could and with our packs on our backs did about a 7 minute per mile pace.  At 5:02, we reached the hotel!  Upon entering we were informed that the pick up time for tickets had been extended two hours.

From a month long trip to Europe with my best friend, going to the biggest soccer event in the world, this is the story that I’ve told the most.  I remember who won all of the games that we saw but I can’t remember the scores.  How is it possible that my favorite part of the trip is when everything went wrong?

Life is not a spectator’s sport.  It is intended for people to take what God, Allah or nature has given to them and do the most that they can with it.  The times when you are going to figure out what you are truly made of are the times when things fall apart.  ANYONE can take the guided tours at the Louvre or Prado.  It takes little thought or ingenuity and it teaches you very little about yourself.  The limits of you are not found on the guided tours.  Easy, comfortable and failure-free are the lives of spectators.

We spend much of our life avoiding something that we call “failure”.  Usually failure is associated with mistakes and we try to avoid making big ones at all costs.  Schaef made a pretty big mistake.  It wasn’t fatal and it allowed us to live in a scenario with an outcome that was uncertain.  Uncertainty is something that we need at times in life.  Balance between certainty and uncertainty is what makes life interesting.  The thing is that we spend so much time trying not to fail that we often fail to live.  Anything that is truly worth having is a gamble on some level.

Life is a scenario where the outcome is uncertain.  That is part of the deal.  If you are looking for a life without failure, discomfort and difficulty, then you are looking for boredom.  Don’t go looking to fail but don’t avoid it either.  Failure is often where you learn the most about yourself and what you’re made of.  Make yourself better by learning from failure.

Get out there people!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Scumbag and Tragedy Report

Pete Huryk

100_9372My son’s first birthday party is a memory that I will never forget.  The unfortunate thing is that the reason that particular birthday sticks in my memory is not the cake, the presents or the joy of my wonderful little boy celebrating his first year on this planet.  It is memorable because of what happened the next day.  The next day a student at Virginia Tech killed 32 people and wounded 17 others.  The two events are forever coupled in my mind and at the time shook the very foundation of who I am as a person.

In the aftermath of the shootings, there were several practical things that needed to be done.  I was teaching at school less than two hours from VA Tech.  We instituted protocols for locking down the campus and dealt with the grief of students.  There was a lingering problem that I had trouble reconciling.  I had an extreme amount of guilt for bringing a child into a world that was capable of such evil.  After celebrating the life of one of the people that I love the most, this act of evil made me question what I had done.  The tragedy in Charleston is the latest reminder that the evil of man is still here.  My heart goes out to the people who have lost someone in these senseless acts.  The victims, their families and friends are the only ones that matter now.  I know they are hurting much worse than I was over eight years ago but I have hope for them and us.  For my own part, I was able to pull myself out of the pit of despair that I had created for myself.  There were two words that brought me out: focus and hope.

By focusing on the evil of the world, I had made it my reality.  It is an easy thing to do at times because the media shows us regularly what horrible people can do.  This is not particularly their fault because we pay more attention to tragedy and they are giving us what “gets the ratings”.  However I choose to focus on other things now.  I see joy in my daughter’s eyes for big events like “field day”.  My eyes turn to Mrs. Lobby, the kindergarten teacher, who pours her heart and soul into little minds every day.  You’ll never see those things on the “scumbag and tragedy” report in the evening but they still exist and that is the world that I live in.

My other word is hope.  I have hope and confidence that the good in people will spread and win.  It is my influence on my children and the other people that I have contact with that I can affect the future.  I am a small drop in a large ocean but I hope that my small ripple combine with those of others can create a tidal wave of good that reaches around the world.  We must find the good in each other and expose that to the rest of the world.

As my final thought, I’d like for you to imagine two pitchers and a large bucket.  In one pitcher is red colored water and in the other there is blue.  If you only pour red into the bucket, the bucket water will be all red.  If you pour equal of both, you get purple.  The water has no choice what color it is.  However we have a choice what we put out into the world.  If you want the world to be greedy, selfish, hateful and driven by negative thoughts and emotion, then put those out there.  Recognize that you have a choice.  I don’t have rose colored glasses on and I’m not going to break into a verse of “kumbaya”.  The only thing that I want you to realize is that you have a choice.  The world is not inherently evil nor is it inherently good.  People have choices.

Be good to one another.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Where the hell are you going?

Pete Huryk

directionFor several years, I was a a pizza delivery guy.  I’m good with directions and my eyesight didn’t start to go until I was thirty, so it was a great fit.  Every once in a while, I would completely “zone out” as I was driving.  I would be halfway to my destination when I realized that I was giving absolutely no thought to where I was going.  This form of “auto-pilot” never interfered with my job because the destination was set-up someplace in my subconscious mind.

Life can often feel like this.  You have no idea where you are going but you’re traveling down the road at 50 MPH without a care in the world.  This might not be a problem if you’ve defined your destination and have set up systems to keep you on course.  Unfortunately it is usually not the case.  Especially for young people, speed seems to be more important than direction.  If distance covered is your goal, then speed is your friend.  However reaching the correct destination requires, direction first and speed second.

So it might help to ask “Where the hell am I going?”  Today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, in general.  Once you know where you are going, it is much easier to check in with yourself each day to see if you’re going in the right direction.  Then you can decide to go faster.

Sidenote: The GPS has made asking for directions a rare occurrence.  However if you are ever lost, don’t go to a gas station to ask directions.  Go to a pizza delivery place, they actually know how to get places.

Get focused and get going!

Pete

 

 

Blogpost, self-reliance

Levantarse

Pete Huryk

levitateAs a speaker of Spanish and English, I get a good perspective on the differences between the two languages.  One of the most confusing differences for English speakers is reflexive verbs.  In Spanish, you wake yourself up, wash yourself and brush yourself your teeth.  There are many actions that Spanish specifically tells you that you do to yourself.  For example, the verb levantar means “to lift” but levantarse means “to lift one’s self or get up”.  This simple difference in the way that an idea is expressed can change our perception of self.

Our language sometimes limits our thought process because we often think in words.  The idea that we lift ourselves up is not a difficult one to understand.  However it is one that we may take for granted.  We’re too busy getting up every morning to remember who is lifting us up and why.  Even though we are always lifting ourselves up, we may feel forced to do it.

There is power in choice.  Deciding on the reasons why you are getting up in the morning gives you the power to live with purpose.  It is much easier to slog through difficult times when there is something waiting for us at the end.  If all you see is the slog, then life is the slog.  So even though the day has already begun, it’s not too late to decide what today is about for you.  Why did you get up this morning?  If you don’t like the answer that you give then re-ask the question with a broader scope of possibility.

Make it a great day.

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Lifeguards, seat belts and fire extinguishers

Pete Huryk

matchThis post will be short because the concept is simple.  Lifeguards, seat belts and fire extinguishers are all put into place because they are intended to save your life in times of peril.  None of these safety measures is infallible.  There is no guarantee that you’ll be saved.

However there is something that these and other devices cannot ever save you from: your self.  These devices cannot protect the person who is completely self-destructive.  Fire extinguishers can put out fires not stop a pyromaniac.

This is so simple when it’s fires, accidents and drowning.  It’s much tougher to identify when it is a habit that we don’t realize is tearing us apart.  We think that the world keeps setting fires in front of us to be put out.  Unfortunately we take no notice of the matches that we casually flick into the brush as we stroll through life.  Take a deep look at your actions and see if you need to decide not to light some of the matches you have in your pocket.

Light a fire that propels you upward but doesn’t burn you up.

Thanks,

Pete