Author: Pete Huryk

I'm an author and public speaker from New Jersey. My topics are usually aimed toward teenagers and range from self-esteem/self-reliance to peak performance in sports.
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It Is What It Is (Or It Isn’t)

Pete Huryk

fingerOn Saturday at the park, my daughter cut her finger.  Nothing that required stitches but enough that pressure alone wasn’t stopping the bleeding.  I looked through the van for a band aid but came up empty.  So I took a napkin and some duct tape to fix up the problem.  “Dad, that’s not a band aid.”  She was right.  It wasn’t.  That didn’t matter to me and once it worked it didn’t matter to her either.  At a certain point, results are what we’re really after.  When you don’t have what you need, use what you have.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve been doing things like that.  Finding a solution for a problem with limited or unorthodox resources.  Perhaps I watched too many episodes of McGyver when I was a kid.  Or perhaps I care too little about form and put an overemphasis on function.  Regardless of the why, I have an affinity toward multidimensional thinking and it scares me.

I’m not scared because I do it but rather because so many young people that I know do not.   It is not particularly their fault.  Our society has curved off so many of the jagged edges that it is almost impossible to develop resourcefulness organically.  We can blame it on the internet, the government or any other scapegoat that is popular today but that’s the heart of the same one dimensional thinking that is the root of this problem.  Blaming a lack of resources or poor circumstances for our failure won’t get us anywhere but stuck.  People are far too quick to figure out who to hold accountable and very few people are stepping up asking to be responsible.

In essence that is where this blog started, the ability to respond to a problem with a solution that was irregular.  A napkin is a napkin, until it’s a band aid.  A problem is a problem until it is an opportunity.  Each of us has the opportunity to look at our own lives and see where we can push the limits of what is expected.  You have unique resources available to you.  How can you use them to make the world of those around you a little better?  What problem is out there for you to create a unique solution for?  You are who you’ve always been until you’re not.

Go out and do something great today!

Pete

 

 

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The Measure of a Man

Pete Huryk

birthdaycakeToday I turn 40 years old.  This is a seemingly important milestone for many people.  I’m not really feeling it though.  The number is almost a non-factor for me.  My childhood friend, Lia Fritz, was the first person who made me think deeply about how age worked.  She was born on February 29th and would state that she was 3 years old when she was 12 and so on.  Although she was only joking, it started me thinking.  What if we changed the measurement of age?  It makes little sense to only measure life by years.  On that scale of measurement, my life is on even terms with anyone else born December 7th, 1975.  Maybe life isn’t best measured in years.

Some systems of measurement lend themselves to easy conversion.  A 100 meter race can simply be changed to a 109.361 yard race.  It seems strange to make it a 1/16 of a mile race but it’s better than 1/420 of a marathon.  By comparison the 100 meter run seems minuscule when measured by marathons.  These conversions give a perspective that the perception of the magnitude of something can be influenced by how it is measured.  There are many people who have lived for a many years but those years were seemingly empty.  What is the right metric for measuring the life of a man?

There are so many metrics that could be used to measure a life.  If my life were measured in economic terms from an American perspective, I’ve lived a very average life.  In economic terms of an Ecuadorian, I’m doing very well.  If measured by miles, I’ve traveled to six foreign countries and visited over half of our United States.  My life could be viewed as very full.  If measured by the number of Grateful Dead concerts that I’ve attended, then I’ve not lived at all.  With so many metrics to choose, it is important to choose wisely with something that represents our purpose on this planet.

For me personally, I measure my life by the people that I’ve been able to help.  It may seem like a random way to measure a life and in many ways it is almost immeasurable.  Those limitations to my system do not bother me in the slightest.  It makes me more comfortable than the idea of my existence being reduced to the number of years that I’ve been alive.  One may be more exact than the other but my metric is in line with my life’s purpose and actually propels me forward toward better experiences.   Having more time is not particularly a desirable commodity unless it is being used for something worthwhile.

Today may not be your calendar birthday but it may be a new opportunity to measure your life in a way that means something to you.  So go into the world today with the purpose of identifying how you measure your life and pursue it.  Happy Birthday to you!

Pete

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Life of Unopened “Cans”

Pete Huryk

cansIn my parents’ cupboard when I was a kid, there were canned products that we used all the time.  Chicken noodle soup, tomato paste and green beans were in heavy rotation toward the front door.  They would come in, go out and be replaced by their can cousin at the next shopping trip.  Toward the back of the cupboard were the ancient staples like the can of cream of mushroom from 1985 or its even stranger companion, evaporated milk (no idea what that is).  These cans were born with purpose and hope.  However their lives never reached fulfillment because they were forgotten after they were crossed off of the grocery list and standing by for “someday”.  Having the can in the cupboard was enough.  We never actually had to do anything with it.

As I edge ever closer to 40 years old, I look at my unopened “cans” and I am awestruck by what I’ve left behind.  I’m no longer talking about tin and aluminum but rather the things that I left undone because I know that I can, so I don’t have to.

  • I can lose 15 lbs, so I don’t have to.
  • I can run that 10 mile race in 1:15:00 or less, so I don’t have to.
  • I can reach out to great friends and family at any time, so I don’t have to.
  • I can be a great husband, so I don’t have to be all the time.
  • I can go to the gym daily and get into great shape, so I don’t have to.
  • I can make something better of myself, so I don’t have to.

The knowledge that “I can” has kept me from doing so many things that I know that I should.  The problem with most of these cans is that I know that I can because I’ve done them before.  If these unopened cans were put into regular use, my life would be exponentially better.  Perhaps it’s time to open some of these cans and see, not what’s inside of them but what’s inside of me.  (Note: not everything that you can do falls into the “SHOULD” category.  Some cans are better left on the shelf.)

Is your cupboard full of dusty cans?  Did I just open up a “can of worms”?  Or do you now feel the need to open a “can of whoopass” on yourself and your life?  As you find the courage to do the things that you know that you can, you’ll also see the possibility of doing some things that you thought you could not!

You can!

Pete

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The Burnt Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Pete Huryk

grilled cheeseAbout 75% of the grilled cheese sandwiches that I’ve eaten in my adult life have been burnt.  The surprising thing is that I only burn about 40% of the sandwiches that I make.  Obviously my cooking needs some work  but even with that, it would seem that I go out of my way to eat burnt grilled cheeses.  Closer to the truth is that I refuse to throw away the burnt ones.  My wife and children get to eat the quality sandwiches.  A burnt grilled cheese sandwich is not a thing to be discarded when you are the cook.  The failure to find the correct temperature and timing is a learning opportunity.

Too often we look to forget, edit or deny our painful past.  We choose to throw it away as if it were a sandwich that had spent too long on the pan.  It is just too difficult to swallow.  We cannot face the fact that we made a mistake.  Silently we blame circumstances or other people for the charred mess.  So we discard it and move on to simpler things that require less skill or timing.  This world is filled with the prepackaged, no preparation, no thought products that will make us feel better.  Or better yet, there is a soup and grilled cheese restaurant that would be happy to do it for you.  In the end, your failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Your thought goes from “I didn’t make a good grilled cheese.” to “I CAN’T make a good grilled cheese.”  Or maybe worse, ” I can’t cook anything.”  This all seems a little extreme for one sandwich but it happens every day with so many things beside sandwiches.

Failure is not fun.  I’m not suggesting that you should enjoy it and it is completely unnecessary to live there.  However it is useful to digest the things that have happened.  Take what nutrients there is to be acquired and improve upon the next attempt.  PAY ATTENTION TO THESE TWO POINTS THOUGH!  1.) You should not feel obligated to eat everyone else’s burnt  sandwiches.  You’re eating your own ONLY in order to get better results in the future.   2.) Don’t get into a competition to prove that your sandwich is the worst.  Winning that competition gives you a prize that you don’t want.

So go out into that kitchen that you call your life.  Take the ingredients that you have and make the best things that you can think of.  When you burn something (and you will), don’t brand yourself a failure.  Swallow it down and move onto the next dish.  NOTHING that you make will be perfect but all of it will be yours.  Own it!  Make today perfectly imperfect!

Thank!

Pete

 

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Ice Pirates

Pete Huryk

icepiratesIn the 1980’s Robert Urich (not my uncle), starred in a poorly made B movie called “Ice Pirates”.  The story is based in the future where the only resource that matters is water.  The ice pirates are a comedic band of humans and robots who initially try to steal whatever water they can find.  However they end up stumbling into a bigger adventure to help a Princess find her father who was lost looking for Mithra “the water planet”.    There’s more to it but I wouldn’t want to ruin it for you.

The ice pirates in many ways are not what I would describe as role models.  However despite their shortcomings, they slowly but surely move toward their goal.  At the beginning, they never could have anticipated where they would end up.  They make several mistakes along the way.  They don’t have the right resources.  Obstacles and enemies keep coming up to stop them.  Their path is not a straight line but a series of unexpected turns and setbacks.  They are me and they are you.

If nothing else, the Ice Pirates had a clear vision of what they wanted.  Perhaps you’re not even there but it doesn’t have to be as life and death as water.  It could be as simple as a goal for the day.  Regardless of how big or small you choose to make your goal, the way of the Ice Pirates is completely acceptable.  Stumble forward through each of your missteps and be prepared to laugh at your past mistakes.  Although you may be striving for the promised land, you are not a mythical creature with superhuman abilities.  You are fallible and should expect to fail OFTEN!  Victory is not guaranteed to those that begin with the greatest advantage.  It is guaranteed to those that continue until the prize is won.

Pete

PS – Don’t watch Ice Pirates unless you have two hours to kill and go in with low expectations!

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Mayan Activity

Pete Huryk

mayanThe Mayan people are an interesting historical group to study.  Their story is filled with impressive accomplishments and shrouded in mystery because of their sudden decline and disappearance.  They were highly skilled in mathematics and scientific discovery.  Long before Europeans set foot in the “New World” they had a working 365 day calendar and produced thousands of books using a type of paper made from bark.  Some of their cities contained sports arenas, schools, hospitals and libraries.  In terms of fashion, they were far ahead of their time with ear gauges and other adornments that are still practiced today.  As impressive as the Mayan accomplishments are, the thing that seems to make them most interesting is that they disappeared.

The story arc of almost any great person or society has an origin followed by a rise to prominence and an eventual fall or recession.  The Mayan people seemed to be at their peak when they all but disappeared.  There are theories about their decline but no one is completely certain.  It was in thinking about their decline that I began to face Mayan Activity (My Inactivity).

On some level the end of the Maya is most likely the same thing that brings the end of us all.  The things that are left undone.  Failure is very rarely a product of someone who did too much but rather the person or people who did not do enough.  The people who failed to prepare, to learn, to try, to understand or act.  We can stand idly by and blame our downfall on circumstance but the truly great people make circumstances bend to their will.  The rise of the Mayans did not promise them a future that would last forever.  They were only promised that moment and most likely their inactivity lead to their Mayan downfall.

So the question now comes to you.  Are you at your peak and ready for your decline?  Or have you just begun?  Is the height that you’ve reached only a stepping stone to where you will end?  It is not a question of when but a question of will that makes us great.  The story of the Mayans is the story of so many.  Unrealized promise.   Do you want to look back and think what might have been or revel in the glory of what was?

Reverse your inactivity today!

Pete

 

Blogpost, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Soccer for the 21st Century

Pete Huryk

The 20th Century of the United States was largely dominated by an industrial economy.  The US rode the wave of the industrial revolution into prominence on the world stage.  Factories flourished thanks to interchangeable parts and largely interchangeable people.  Most workers in the 20th Century were able to earn a substantial living by doing simple repetitive tasks under the orders of their bosses.

In this system, it is no wonder that the sport of the century was Football.  In so many ways, football was representative of the American way.  It was progressive.  Moving forward was success and moving backward was failure.  It mirrored our historical land acquisition with its own “land acquisition”.  The decisions were made by a few bosses and executed by largely  interchangeable people.  The sport was the perfect corollary for the industrial age and both served the country well in their time.

Now that the industrial age has passed and we have moved into what many are calling the “Connection Economy”.  The people who create value in the market place are not interchangeable cogs in a vast machinery.  Cogs can be replaced, automated or outsourced to other countries.  True value in the modern economy is created by an individual whose contributions are irreplaceable and unique.

This change begs for a different representation in sport.  The football model of “run the play” holds little value when the rules of the game change so quickly.  Soccer’s flexibility and subjectivity require that players deal with complex problems and must make individual decisions for the betterment of the collective.  Since each player is a decision maker, principles rather than directives are the dictating forces.  No one person is in control.  Therefore players must learn to control themselves and direct themselves in an uncertain environment.

The beautiful game will become “America’s Game”.  It is just a matter of time.

Pete

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The Port-o-Potty Clark Kent

Pete Huryk

clarkkentAt one point in history, the transition from Clark Kent into Superman was done in a phone booth.  The changing room for the “man of steel” was a utility of the every man.  People could feel their own association to this man with supernatural powers by simply making a phone call.  Unfortunately times have changed.  The phone booths have disappeared and so have our beliefs in the possibility of greatness for the common man.

In the modern day, the only small changing room available to Superman would be a Port-o-Potty.  As depressing as this may seem, perhaps it is the perfect mental picture for the situation of the day.  Our inclination is no longer to believe in the magnificent or the awe-inspiring.  Instead we assume that everything is a sham, fraud or ripoff.  Our hope has been sullied by too many people that sought to capture our dollars and not our hearts.  A hero of today almost has to rise out of the refuse because we tend to assume that squeaky clean is too good to be true.  Or worse, we cannot believe in our own possibility for greatness because we know where we come from.

Clark Kent, the phone booth or the port-o-potty are all just a prelude to the magnificent.  In our cynical world, it’s easy to poke holes in anything and find what is wrong.  The measure of the hero is not in his lack of faults.  The hero is measured by how consistently he shows up and does what other people cannot or will not.  So do not assume because your story is not perfect that it is not your time to be the hero.  At bare minimum there is at least one person in this world that needs you to show up every day and do whatever you’re able.  That person is you!  You’re the hero that you’ve been waiting for!

Thanks!

Pete

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The Most Best on the Earth World!

Pete Huryk

MostBestAt one point in history, I’m sure that superlatives meant something.  I surely felt like they did during my childhood.  Michael Jordan was definitely the best player in the NBA.  You didn’t need to shout it louder to make your point.  It could be said softly with a calm assurance that it was accurate.  As the internet has given a voice to every two thumbed animal with a high speed connection, superlative seems to be a game for people who want to yell the loudest.

Since everyone can be heard, the time to say nothing may be here.  Perhaps in the era of communication overload, it is the individual who does and says nothing that will truly stand out.  Rather than doubling down on superlatives and expletives, it might be time to be more subtle.

Today when you go out into the world, do the simple and subtle.  Smile a little more.  Be a little more patient.  Be forgiving to yourself.  Home-runs can win games but so can singles.  If we’re always swinging hard for the fences, we may strikeout on underhand pitches because we’re too jacked up.

Blogpost, self-reliance

Fewer Selfies, More Mirrors

Pete Huryk

MirrorAt the present moment, the “selfie” has become so common place that it is almost a requirement at any social function involving young people.  It is the photographic representation that “I was there”.  Although showing up is an important part of the equation, it has inexplicably become a standard of achievement rather than the bare minimum.  The problem with the selfie is that anyone can fake it for a fraction of a second.  There needs to be more to life than a collection of rehearsed faces and hand gestures.  We need to look in mirrors rather than practicing our poses.

The beauty of the mirror is that it does not lie.  Stand in front of a mirror for long enough and you’ll realize that your best friend and worst enemy are staring back at you.  In this duplicity you’ll find everything that you could possibly need to achieve your every desire.  You’ll also find most of the road blocks that will stand in your way.   The mirror is going to tell it like it is.  It won’t accept fake poses for very long.  Fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, average or anything else are all there for you to deal with.  As you begin to look at who you truly are in the mirror, you’ll recognize that showing up is not enough.  Faking it for an instant is not enough.  The world expects more!  Now you can either hide behind the mask of poses or accept the challenge to carry the mirror with you.

The mirror may reside in your head or in your heart but it can be with you always.  As you go through your day, you can look to see if you are being true to yourself.  Your best self!  Throughout the day checking to see if you’re going in the right direction to those places that you desire to go.  As you get closer, you’ll notice that the reflection in the mirror gets better and it’s easier to look.  When you finally reach your goal, I suppose you could take a selfie….  But the picture you have inside of who you’ve become is so much better.  So for today, don’t just show up!  Wake up, stand up and look in the mirror.  Then keep working until you’re ecstatic with what you see!

I see you!

Pete