Month: December 2024

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Stars on the Ground

Pete Huryk

This morning, I was walking my dog. In the freezing temperature, the grass was covered with frost. With the moon shining down, the frost twinkled as if there were hundreds of stars on the ground. It’s not an odd occurrence. In the wintertime, this same set of circumstances probably happens hundreds of times. For some reason, it caught my eye and made me think about people. The stars on the ground weren’t the bright producers of light in the sky. They were just a reflection! People often do the same thing. They don’t shine with the brilliance to be seen from a distance. They’re a dim reflection of possibility.

This is not a finger wagging post, saying that we all should be burning brightly. That’s a tall order. The amount of energy and circumstances needed to make a real star or a human kind are numerous. So if that’s your ambition, by all means, I’m neither encouraging nor discouraging that level fire. Quite to the contrary, I want to put the attention to the stars on the ground. The normal ones that happen often.

Despite the fact that they are semi-ordinary, they are still beautiful. I’m talking about both the reflective bits of ice and the people in this world. You probably know some of them or might be one of them. The people who make the world… your world just a little bit better. They shine at times when it’s needed. They shine when it’s unexpected. They probably also shine when they’re not sure if they can anymore. These everyday creators of magic are all around us!

If you notice one today, take a moment and let them know. The stars in the sky are far beyond our reach. They’ll never know we were here gazing up at them. The stars on the ground are well within our reach!

Shine on!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Old Kids On The Block

Pete Huryk

At the height of their popularity, I had no choice but to listen to the New Kids on the Block. Not only were they pervasive on radio and MTV, my girlfriend at the time was a huge fan. Their catchy tunes and “boyish” good looks were a recipe for success at the time. If we fast forward to the present day, I’m sure that the members look at their former selves and feel at least a twinge of embarrassment. Either the clothes, the hair, the songs, the videos, or any other part of their success could definitely feel a little cringy. Back track a few words! That’s right. Success! They were a worldwide phenomena and there are still reasons to look back with a bit of embarrassment.

We’ve all done it at one point or another. Looked back at a photo, video or older version of ourselves and think “Oh my God! What was I thinking?” It was just a moment in time. Hairstyles, clothing choices, relationships, etc. can all cause a twinge of discomfort with what used to be so natural.

If we come back to the present moment, there are bound to be things that you are doing now that your future self will gasp at. It’s an inevitability! So why not press a bit harder on that button. At the moment, there are probably things that you’re not doing because of a certain amount of embarrassment. Asking out that person, starting a business, asking for a promotion, or a number of other things could be put to the back burner because you don’t want to look foolish now. There’s going to be a certain amount of the present you that embarrasses future you but there is a feeling worse than that… REGRET!

Embarrassment is not an overly strong emotion. It tends to fade pretty quickly. Regret tends to linger. It’s the long term price that you pay for not acting in the moment. It corrodes because there is a gnawing feeling that things could have been different. If you’re willing to become immune to embarrassment, maybe you’ll be able to avoid regret. It won’t be easy but you can take it “Step by Step”.

No regrets!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance, Uncategorized

One Way and Two Way Doors

Pete Huryk

From time to time, I delve back into old video games for a stress reliever (or procrastination tool). One of my favorite throwbacks is the original “Legend of Zelda”. It’s familiar with a few challenges along the way. Especially in the later levels, some doors are two way and others are one way doors. Meaning that some doors you can go through and decide to turn back (two way doors) while others once you’re through, you can’t go back (one way). In quite a few instances, going through the wrong one way door can force you onto a long path to get back to the same spot. Needless to say, recognizing the difference between one way and two way doors is crucial to success.

Recently, I listened to an episode of Impact Theory with one of the founders of Netflix who talked about this concept in business. Even though he was looking at it from a business context, it’s a powerful concept to use in life. Some doors are one way doors and you can never come back.

The problem is not the fact that one way doors exist. More often it’s our inability (unwillingness) to recognize one way doors before we walk through them. That decision to cheat, say a hurtful thing, take that extra drink, not send the message, etc. can all be one way doors because you can’t get back. The unseen (or not respected) consequences are looming out there. Even though we may not want them, we invite them in through our own actions. And just like Zelda, often by the time that you realize it’s a one way door, it’s too late! My general disposition in this world is a positive one. So, I want to offer up a more proactive spin on one way doors because two way doors already inherently have a “get back” quality.

The other thing that is possible is to create one way doors for yourself. Having the self-discipline to go in a direction and never look back. People do it all the time for positive reasons. Turning their back on alcohol, drugs, sweets or other anchoring forces. Recognizing this ability is extremely powerful. Being a creator of one way doors means that you have self-control. The ability to say something and stand by it. Being a person who can keep their commitments, not just to other people but to yourself. That means that you’re not a victim of circumstances but rather a creator of circumstances. It becomes much easier to navigate life when you know what you will and will not do.

There are thousands (possibly millions) of opportunities in front of you. How you will proceed is up to you. Not every door is a two way door. So before you leap through that opening, look at where it will take you and maybe look at who you’ll be after you step through. You’re always the product that you’re working on and you’re on the adventure of a lifetime! Your lifetime!

It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The 8th Grade Sway

Pete Huryk

Quite possibly the easiest dance in the world because it’s not really dancing. It’s standing in front of someone that you may or may not like and leaning in one direction then the other. After that, there’s some variation possible. The counterclockwise turn as you sway was my specialty. Holding the person close or at a distance was based on the relationship. There was one guy that I knew in high school who would hold his girlfriend close and just stand!?!?! So foolish but he was a football star, so no one ever called him on it. The dance itself was never the problem. It was the asking!

Times have changed and I’m not sure if slow dancing even happens anymore at school events. The emotional turmoil caused by rejection may be just too much for kids to deal with. Or is it exactly what they need? A cultural situation centered around low stakes instances of discomfort. The asking, being asked, rejecting, being rejected, hoping, having hopes dashed, dancing for 3 minutes with a person that you wish hadn’t asked, dancing for 3 minutes with that person that you know is out of your league but said yes anyway, etc. are all scaffolding toward those higher stakes moments. Perhaps it’s just the phase of life that I’m in but it feels like younger people are missing out. And obviously the reintroduction of this right of passage would prompt the creation of an app that would cut out the discomfort again, like Bumble or Hinge but for kids at a dance. I’m totally joking but also wouldn’t be surprised.

With all that I’ve heard in the past few years about decreases in intimate relationships among the younger generations, it feels like we’re missing out. Not on the 8th grade sway because let’s be honest, there are far better dances. It’s all of the other things that come along with real human interactions. People need to learn to be kind, put themselves out there, display confidence in the face of rejection and so many other soft skills. These may not solve all of what is ailing society but divorcing ourselves completely from risk of real interaction isn’t either. Maybe robot girlfriends and boyfriends (or botfriends?) are the answer going forward but my last century brain can’t get there yet.

For now at least, I’d love to see us putting ourselves back out there in a meaningful way. Asking out of true interest because finding that person who sways with you perfectly is a great feeling. But you’ll never know until you take the chance to cross the floor and ask!

Sway away!

Pete

Blogpost, posh

The London Road End Roof

Pete Huryk

The roof of the London Road End keeps the noise of the singing fans in. It’s an unfortunate feature of the structure. I’m sure that it was designed that way for good reason. Possibly to keep in the heat during the winter or keep rain water from flooding the road. I’m sure that someone can explain it. The muffled singing of supporters is an unfortunate side effect that will need to be endured until a new stadium is built (or London Road gets refurbished). It’s just a matter of time! Despite the imperfection, I’m confident that many fans will be sad when it changes because it’s part of their history with the club. The difference between progress and “breaking tradition” is in the eye of the beholder.

Although it’s not a perfect metaphor, it mirrors the situation with the first team at the moment. The POSH are inconsistent this season and it has muffled the singing of the fans (metaphorically this time). The performances are a byproduct of inexperience. The inexperience is due to the buy young and sell talent policy of the club. The policy is because of the very real constraints that the club are under financially. It’s possible that I’m the only one but I’m actually loving this season! The team losing is not what I want. Far from it! I have that same dream that most fans do for the POSH. Getting back to the Championships and staying there for a long time are the aims.

Just like the roof, it’s been evident over the years that the club’s explosive potential at the next level is muffled by its circumstances. That is what brought the present squad. It’s filled with young and largely untested players who are intended to learn through playing. As a long time teacher, the beauty of this season is not in the results but rather the process. Fergie has done this all before but not to the extent of this season. This season is a gamble on how quickly the young guns can figure it all out. The frustration comes for most people due to an expectation that these (and all players) are going to be consistent. The Burton result is an inconsistency because young players get unsettled more easily by circumstances that wouldn’t phase a seasoned professional. The return of key squad members and threat of competition for places unsettled several starters. This often happens in January with POSH due to speculation surrounding our players. Ronnie Edwards’ form dipped a bit last season as well as Kyprianou’s. This begs the question, why not bring in more seasoned players who are more stable? The gamble that the club are making is that the majority of the squad will “pop” in ability at the same time as a promotion.

The alignment of all the right “stars” is less than certain but it’s a great context for watching games and the players. Performances like the Cambridge match show the potential of the squad while the Burton game is a learning experience. A frustrating one for fans but a necessary one for players. It’s not easy to be patient with a team. Fans want results now but that’s just not the plan or the reality. The easiest thing in the world is to write players off as “not good enough.” What if the truth is that they’re not good enough YET? Three little letters that mean so much in a career or life. These youngsters are filled with possibility (like so many past POSH players) but need a little longer to find the necessary consistency.

The design of the situation may be slightly frustrating at times (like a stand that traps the noise of its most raucous fans). It’s not without reason! In the end, this frustrating period may be the thing that’s necessary to get us into the Championship and stay. Raising the bar, raising the roof and raising the club to higher heights may take more time and patience than people are willing to give. But that’s POSH football! Sometimes frustrating but never dull!

Up the POSH!

Pete