Blogpost, self-reliance

The Couch of Your Relationships

If you’ve ever moved, there are several items that require help. Since I graduated high school, I’ve lived in 17 different residences. Some moves were light and others were heavy but very few were done alone. The help is either hired or friends who were enlisted. Couches are not the most difficult to move but they’re a crucial piece of furniture for comfort. Just like so many items, it’s difficult to carry alone. This exactly like any relationship.

Obviously we want for our relationships to be comfortable like a good couch. However in order to move them forward, it takes both people to do the lifting. If one person is basking in the comfort of where things are, then it’s extremely difficult for the other person to take it anywhere new.

Couches are also awkward to move at times. The people carrying them are doing it from opposite perspectives and rarely is there enough space for both people to be walking forward at once. It is often a tradeoff of one person slowly moving backwards while the other walks normally. Stairs, tight corners, obstacles, etc. may require pivoting and heroic effort to make it through those tight spaces in order to get back to enjoying the comfort again.

Unlike couches, there is very little uniformity to relationships. They come in such a huge variety that any list would be woefully incomplete. In addition to that, they are an extension of ourselves. At some point, all couches get left behind and the same could be said for relationships. The couch is not usually changed by the carrier but the same is not true of relationships. Each person has the potential to be changed by the carrying that they do. Hopefully those changes lead to a more comfortable place for both people and stronger individuals.

So as you go into the coming week, take stock of whether you’re carrying your weight or just lounging. We are social animals and our relationships with other humans have gotten us to the place where we are as a species. On an individual level, your relationships have the ability to make your life better. It just takes a bit of agreement on when you’re lounging and when you’re lifting. Almost no one wants to move a couch on their own!



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