Tag: humanity

We live in a society where some things just aren’t ok. People obviously have different levels of tolerance for bad behavior but almost everyone has their threshold. Being around rude, degrading, insulting people is just not something that most will endure. Somehow, we turn a blind eye when talking to ourselves inside of our own head.

I can see why it might happen. No one can hear it and it’s you. So open up and let out! RIght? Cut loose! Lean into every single insecurity that you have. And then what? The one person that you need to live with for your entire life is beaten down. Seems like a losing strategy.

So remember who you’re talking to! It’s you! You’ve only got one you! You need to build you up! Not be delusional! Just keep it moving forward!

Talk it up!

Pete

Long before the Marvel Cinematic Universe, there were comic books. I’m not sure what exactly made me start collecting Iron Man comics but I never wavered. For some reason, I thought that he was the best superhero. I can only retroactively express ideas that may or may not have contributed to my interest:

• He was a “self-made” super hero. It wasn’t luck, radioactive spiders or divine intervention. Tony Stark built himself into Iron Man.
• He was still very flawed. Self-serving, alcoholic, bitter, etc. He didn’t always do the right thing but was consistent enough as a “hero”.
• He was extremely wealthy and did not need to do any of it.

The great thing about heroes is that they give us an example to follow. The convenient thing about superheroes is that their abilities are so far from reality that they let us off the hook! We can watch in awe as they do their thing but then go home and do nothing to strive for that level of heroism.

This is not a call for people to develop super suits in order to fight crime or some impending alien invasion. It is a recognition of the opportunity that we all have. Everyday, we walk out into the world with persona that we’ve developed. That is our “Iron Man suit.” There is an opportunity to improve its capabilities. Inside, there is still a flawed human that doesn’t always get it right but there is the possibility of progress. And finally, you don’t need to do any of this. Most people don’t. They lament that the suit that they wear or how they didn’t get the luck, divine intervention or other break. It’s easier to lament.

So! You’re Iron Man! You have a suit to work with. What are you going to do with it? Is this the part of the story where your adventure truly begins? Or do you let the “call to adventure” go to voicemail? The choice is yours and it’s our choices that make us who we are.

Suit up!

Pete

Mirrors aren’t the only things that reflect. Throughout the day, you can see yourself in all kinds of places: shop windows, sunglass lenses, a lake and yes! even a doorknobs! The flat surfaces give you a pretty accurate reflection but something like a doorknob creates a “funhouse mirror” effect. The picture is distorted! With our actual reflection, the distortion is obvious. However, as we reach for the door of opportunity, that distortion can cause us to pull our hand back and walk away.

No one sees us 100% objectively, even ourselves. Looks, personality, talent, etc. are seen through deletions, distortions, incomplete information and bias. Yet, we like to believe that when dealing with ourselves we have a clear picture of who we are. Going back to the “funhouse mirror” analogy, we exaggerate many of our qualities for better or worse. During times of higher stress, like an opportunity that we value, there is a tendency to distort with a negative mirror. Humans are built to protect ourselves from dangers. Therefore we tend to see the threat rather than the reward. The doorknobs to opportunities are bound to reflect many of our faults related to the endeavor. If it’s a romantic situation, we’ll see how unattractive, boring and undesirable we are. In a business context, our lack of experience, talent or resources will shine through. Our brains are trying to protect us! That’s it’s job! Now you need to decide if the distortion is protecting or undercutting you.

Since I don’t know you, I can’t say whether or not you should ignore the doorknob or not. However, I will say that if you’re close enough to the opportunity to see yourself falling short, could you also see yourself succeeding? If so, then maybe it’s time to burst through that door! The regret from leaving things untried and undone is far worse that the regret of coming up short.

Knock, knock!

Pete

“Don’t grow up!” I remember it pretty plainly. At the Stewart’s Restaurant in Newark, NJ, the man behind the counter gave this advice to me when I was possibly 10 years old. He was adamant enough that it stuck. Although I’m not sure, he couldn’t have been much more than 20 years old himself. But somehow the life of an adult had already gotten him down and he needed to dispense some “knowledge.” He’d made up his mind about adult life and resisting the pull of age was his answer. For years, I’ve wavered back and forth on this thought and might go back again. However for today, with the tune by Paramore in my head, I’m thinking that he was wrong! Being an adult is “fun!”

Or at least it can be if you’re willing to take on the right mindset. The juxtaposition of childhood and adulthood is one that I deal with regularly as a teacher. I’ve often told young people that being an adult requires two main things that have nothing to do with age. The first is responsibility for your actions. It’s on you! The second is realizing that you don’t know everything. I know plenty of people over 30 who aren’t quite adults yet. They are on the Stewart’s guy program!

There is another option though! Embrace it! The bills, the boss, the responsibility and the uncertainty of so many things. Ain’t it fun? Children look at the life of adults with awe because of the freedom, while adults look back on their childhood with a desire to be that carefree again. Perhaps there is a way to meet in the middle and enjoy it! Both positions see the other as more “free.” If you’re reading this, it’s unlikely that you’re under 15. So who is the warden and where are the walls/bars/guards? In the world that we live in, there is so much freedom that we have created a large portion of what holds us captive. The shackles of travel speed, communication reach, access to information, etc. have been undone but we find the walls of anxiety, pressure and lack anyway. Our ancestors would look at us like we were fucking nuts! But that’s partially my point. The human experience is difficult to embrace in the moment. We’re better at missing what’s past or longing for what’s coming. So again, the question “ain’t it fun?“

Hell yes it is! Even the shit of the worst day has either the ability to fertilize the next moment of greatness or a story to tell a friend later. “Neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so!” -Uncle Billy Shakes. Let’s do our best then to make it better than we did before! You can’t stop time and we can’t go back yet! So make it fun now! Even when it’s not because it all belongs to you. Life hands you a lot of the ingredients but if you want to top your experience off with shit flavored mayo and “whoa is me” relish, that’s on you! So no matter how old you are, have some fun with it because now isn’t coming back!

Ain’t it fun?!?!

Pete

It can be so frustrating for people! Falling short. I was raised Catholic and it was always the thing that bothered me about the prayer for the forgiveness of your sins. I had to repent for the things that I had done and the things that I had left undone. The situation was daunting because there were so many things that I had left undone. It seemed as though I would never be able to do all of the things. The truth is that I never will. There will always be more that I could have done, should have done, would have done. However time is finite and therefore I am bound to “come up short!”

Since it is unavoidable, it is not something to stress over but rather manage. Much like gravity, you can’t avoid it but anticipation of it creates opportunity. The question isn’t whether you’re going to come up short or not. YOU WILL! It’s an inevitability that on some level, a thing or an entire gaggle of things are going to be left undone. So do not concern yourself with coming up short! It’s going to happen. The concern needs to be how far you aim.

There are an infinite number of aims. Some of them will never be your target. I will never play in the NBA. It’s not my aim! Therefore, I will fall completely short on that. That should not matter. If I’m not aiming there, no matter how short I fall, it doesn’t count. However, when I’ve decided that something matters, it’s important to aim far. Break it up into pieces if you like. Make it a ten year aim. Pick something with an extremely slim chance of success. But don’t be afraid to come up short! More dreams are stillborn than die from catastrophe. So breath some life into that thing that you want because without you, it’s definitely going to come up short!

Fly you fools!

Pete

It’s an easily by-passed scene in the movie “Billy Madison.” After making his way through a second chance at elementary and middle school, Billy finally gets the opportunity to return to high school. In a matter of seconds, he sees that the things that used to carry weight don’t anymore. His REO Speedwagon T-shirt and Pontiac Firebird are not only worthless, they’re mock-worthy. When we think of currency, money is the first thing that jumps to mind. However there are so many other currencies and just like dollars, their value changes or ceases to exist. What are we supposed to do when the currencies that we hold so dear leave us bankrupt? It’s probably going to happen a lot soon!

So let’s consider a currency that loses it’s value almost instantaneously after it was SO important for 12-20 years: grades. Eventually, they become worthless. Especially when broken down into the smallest component pieces. No one cares about the vocabulary quiz that you took in middle school. However, they do care whether you speak intelligently or at least intelligibly. The value of the moment is put on the grade but it is truly the knowledge that has potential power but even it must be put into use. Like a seed that never finds the soil, it can also lay dormant and inert. So in this time of rapid change, disruption and uncertainty; how does one know where to invest their time and effort? If so many of our classic currencies are under scrutiny or attack, then what has value?

There is no way that I can answer that for everyone but the elemental, universal and transferable feel right. Going back to the world of money, gold tends to be valued everywhere. It may not be the best thing to own but it is elemental, universal and transferable. For each of us, we must do the introspection into our own assets. Perhaps that degree is not worth what it used to be but calligraphy skills that you possess are. Money is nothing more than a promissory note. Lots of the old promises are being broken by a wave of innovation. There is most likely no way to out compute a computer but for now, it is still possible to out human a computer. You have value saved up in the bones and brains that carry you through this world. Use them! Possibly in new ways that you never anticipated. Your money’s no good here but we’ll gladly take the seeds of greatness that you have in your back pocket.

It’s spring! Plant if you haven’t already!

Pete

“Running, one might say is an absurd pastime upon which to be exhausting ourselves. But if you can find meaning, in the kind of running you have to do to stay on this team, chances are you’ll be able to find meaning in another absurd pastime: LIFE.” – Bill Bowerman former Track Coach at University of Oregon and a founder of NIKE.

The standard track is 400 meters. A good time for a high school runner to complete one lap is a minute or less. If a runner can keep that pace for two laps, a two minute 800 meter is pretty impressive. Four laps at that pace is worth national recognition. A marathon at that pace would smash the world record! It’s not truly about the pace. Anyone can do it for 10 meters. It’s the consistency!

We’re all capable of great things. That is for sure! The question is how long can we maintain it? In order to keep that pace for 10 laps, first you must do one. Therein lies the problem with most of us. We want the end result without the work of the preparation. Showing up when no one is watching and enduring the pain of holding out, longer and longer. It’s not for everyone especially when it comes to running. However it applies to so many things in our lives. We can intentionally show up consistently in this area or that. Do it enough times and you could be the best in the world.

At bare minimum, you can be the best in the world at being you. Consistently and intentionally show up as the best version of you. Have the recipe memorized! Have the ingredients at the ready! And turn up the heat/energy on you! The people who love that recipe will keep coming back for it if it’s consistent. Every day you have the opportunity to amaze.

Be the best version of you today!

Pete