Category: Blogpost

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Limbo and High Jump

Pete Huryk

In elementary school gym class, the limbo was one of my favorite activities. My younger self was extremely adept at contorting my body in order to get low to the ground without touching it or knocking off the bar. In middle school, I was introduced to high jump. The concept was largely the same but in reverse. Do everything that you could in order to avoid knocking the bar off the standards while going over. If you’ve never run track and field, you might not know that the term used for the platform/measuring device is the standards. To be honest, I’d not given the word much thought until I came up with the idea for the blogpost.

The limbo and high jump are largely opposites that never meet because one is often a drunken party game and the other is an athletic event only done by a handful of people. Mostly the limbo creates comedy as increasingly more people fail in mildly ridiculous ways. High jump creates heartbreak and champions (more the former than the latter) as individuals look to push themselves to the very last inch, centimeter or millimeter. While I loved both at one time, I’ve spent a lot more time pursuing high jump. As an event, it’s more interesting. My concern is that not enough people are choosing high jump, they’re opting for the limbo (metaphorically speaking).

Everyday people make choices about who they are going to be in their lives. No doubt, there are lots of stresses and issues that people deal with regularly. In no way do I want to diminish anyone’s struggles. My concern comes from what seems to be a cultural shift toward limboing through life. The bar keeps getting lowered and some people seem to be intent on trying to slide underneath. More effort seems to be put into finding cheats or excuses than toward the project at hand.

On the other side of the equation is the high jump. The metaphorical and incremental increase of ability, attention and training until you eventually reach your true limits. It’s daunting because it requires squarely facing our inadequacies, shortcomings and self-image. Reaching higher heights only brings us closer to finding out what we’re not capable of doing (yet)!

As anyone who has read my blog for a while knows, this is not a finger wagging session meant to make anyone feel badly about their diet, career, workout program… whatever. It’s a self-reflection that I put out into the world in the hopes that the things that I struggle with can help someone else. So if you, like me, have been doing the limbo in an area of your life where you’d like to be high jumping, remember! There’s always a bar (or standard). You can choose to go above it or below it. That’s up to you! I’d rather live in a world where more people are high jumping than limboing!

Explode!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Show Up Skills

Pete Huryk

At this point, it’s so common in movies that we barely think about it anymore. A character’s extraordinary abilities just show up. Either they were acquired long before we “met” them—like John Wick or Jason Bourne—or they’re bestowed in an instant—like Spider-Man or Captain America.

While these stories have become pervasive, deep down, we know they aren’t realistic.

I regularly encounter this wishful thinking—the desire for something for nothing. It happens most often in class when a student hears me speaking Spanish to another teacher. Without fail, someone says, “I wish I could do that!” But the same person has put almost no effort into learning the language. They just want it to show up.

Now, I fully recognize that we may someday reach a Matrix-level reality where skills are downloaded instantly. But until then, we are bound to the process. Skills must be trained, honed, and maintained. That’s one of the reasons I’ve always gravitated toward the Rocky movies. They never ignored the work. Sure, a montage speeds things up for the audience, but the message is clear: the skills had to be earned.

And yet, here we are—caught in a game where we hope the abilities we long for will magically appear. But the truth is, it’s not about skills showing up—it’s about you showing up. Again and again. Doing the hard, tedious, sometimes unpleasant work required to build yourself. It won’t be easy, instant, or even guaranteed, but it’s far more realistic than waiting for a shortcut that never comes.

Your moment—your opportunity—is coming. When it arrives, will you have the skills to seize it? Or will you keep lamenting that the breaks never seem to go your way? Opportunities exist. That’s not in question. What is in question is your persistence.

Life is already a gift, and right now is called the present for a reason. It’s time to take action.

Don’t just dream—wake up and act!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Limited Resources

Pete Huryk

For years, I’ve been a language teacher, but I started out as a math major in college. There wasn’t a definitive reason why—I just found that math made sense to me. No matter how complex the problem, the solution usually came from simplification. As Bruce Lee famously said, “Stripping away the inessential until the truth is revealed.”

In a world overflowing with so-called resources, maybe what we truly need is less—less clutter, fewer distractions, and more focus on what really matters. At the most fundamental level, you already have two of the most powerful tools imaginable: your mind and this moment. Everything else is a variable, dependent on circumstances that I could never predict. But with these two resources, your possibilities are nearly endless.

Your mind is an extraordinary machine. Though it was designed for a very different time in history, its capabilities are astounding. Given the right training, it can accomplish things beyond your wildest expectations. While it may not be truly limitless, we have yet to come close to discovering its full potential. The challenge isn’t whether your mind can do something—it’s whether you can get it into the right working order to produce the results you want. And that takes time, effort, and patience.

The second resource—now—is the one people tend to undervalue the most. Now is all you have. It can be frustrating to accept because we often want to believe there’s more time. But the past is gone, and the future is unreachable until it becomes now—and then it’s gone too. Despite this undeniable truth, many people spend their lives longing for what was or waiting for what’s next, squandering the only moment that truly exists. I must be a frustrating person to encounter at times because when people say in my presence, “I can’t wait for…” I tell them not to wish their life away. Sure! That trip to the beach is going to be great but now could be too!

But here’s the good news: Now holds all the power you need. If you can learn to embrace it, to truly harness its potential, you’ll find that everything you want—growth, learning, success, fulfillment—is waiting for you in this very moment.

Now that we’ve broken all life experience down to the two essential resources, what’s next? CHOOSE!!! Choose one to work on. You can either work on the grey matter that you have between your ears. That means focus. Eliminate the distractions and spends some time making your brain better in some simple way. OR practice living in the moment. Be wherever you are. Not every moment is going to be a reach the top of Everest moment. However, you can absolutely look for ways to make peaks out of your moment to moment life, just by being there.

You’ve got what it takes!

Pete

Blogpost, posh, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Neutral Thinking, Not POSH in Neutral!

Pete Huryk

There is more than enough talent in the squad to avoid relegation and even go on an extended win streak. The problem isn’t a lack of ability but rather a mentality that has plagued the team. I’m sure this opinion won’t be popular with some of the POSH faithful, but it’s far easier to judge a player as “not good enough” after a poor performance than to examine the deeper issues at play. While some of the gambles POSH has taken over the years haven’t panned out, there are far too many examples of players who have experienced ups and downs with POSH only to thrive at higher levels (Sammie Szmodics, among others).

Rather than taking the negative route that erodes players’ confidence, or the overly positive one that ignores the reality of the situation, there is another approach: neutral thinking.

I’ve read Trevor Moawad’s book a few times, but more often, I share his interview on neutral thinking. It encapsulates so many valuable ideas and stories, particularly about focusing on actionable steps in the present moment rather than dwelling on circumstances or outcomes. Optimists and pessimists can argue all day about whether the glass is half full or half empty, but ultimately, it’s what you do with the water or space in the glass that matters.

Even when circumstances are less than desirable, it’s the actions we take now that determine our outcomes. Losing hurts, and a string of poor performances hurts even more. After the Wrexham match (CJ’s first with the team), it seemed as though the squad had been injected with optimism. How is it that one person could “infect” a team with a positive mindset? Through their actions. As Trevor Moawad explains, removing externalized negativity allows people to reach a neutral state. From there, new thoughts and behaviors can emerge, moving individuals, teams, and even entire communities forward.

Ultimately, it’s the players who need to reach neutral and move forward. The Leyton Orient match might have been more “neutral” than people would have wanted but it got a clean sheet. These are young players who may not yet have the skills to combat the negativity in their environment. It’s part of their development. Fans want results—no doubt about that. But the players are the vehicle for those results. Slashing the tires, pouring sugar in the gas tank, or breaking the windshield is no way to get high performance out of that vehicle.

Neutral thinking offers a path forward: focus on the present, remove unnecessary negativity, and take actionable steps to improve. It’s not about ignoring the reality of challenges or sugar-coating situations. It’s about embracing a mindset that enables growth and resilience, both for the players and the team as a whole.

Up the POSH!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Would Life Be Better Without, “The Hand Of God”?

Pete Huryk

If you clicked on this post for a religious discussion, you won’t find it here! (Unless you consider soccer/football a religious endeavor) The question is about the influence of technology within the game. If VAR had existed in 1986, the “Hand of God” goal would have been disallowed. While on its face, this could be seen as a positive, especially for English fans. The correct call is made after some deliberation and “justice is done.” Maradona possibly gets a card for deliberately handling the ball. The result of the game is another stepping stone but nothing that endures through the ages.

As we progress into a world where technology is ever more pervasive, the question needs to be asked whether we’re gaining or losing. Some of this, I’m sure, is marked by my own nostalgia. Having grown up without the internet and many of our modern advances, I long for a world of imperfection. I’d rather a player and their fans be able to celebrate a goal in the moment rather than waiting for verification. “Getting it right” requires precision and the razor’s edge that is the difference between a goal or not can be maddening. It’s almost inhuman.

While my nostalgia for days long past may be strong, it does not have the strength to put the technological genie back into the bottle. Since we’re probably not going back, it might be worth it to notice with more fervor, the times when we’re truly being human. Our imperfections on full display. The joy of the moment without the pressure of perfection.

As you go through this and every day, there are innumerable opportunities for us to seize a moment that will stay with us forever. It probably won’t be planned in an app or edited by Chatgpt. Your abilities will be met with opportunity and magic will happen. It won’t be perfect but it will be worth remembering!

Golazo!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Take Care of the First Person

Pete Huryk

As a language teacher, I talk regularly about first, second and third person. Invariably, I start the initial conversation by asking “who is the first person in your life? The one person who you cannot get rid of? They will be there every moment of every day of your life?” Because I’m dealing with young people who have a limited view of their own lives, I often get answers like “my mom”, “my sister”, “my dad”, etc. Eventually the obviousness of the question sets in. The answer is yourself! The only person who will be there every day of your life is you.

Best of friends ready to travel together.

Despite the fact that the only person that each of us will deal with consistently, many people struggle with their inner relationship. Imagine having a roommate and talking to him or her, the way that you talk inside of your own head. The number of times that you’ve mentally berated yourself for a mistake or just for being who you are. It’s incomprehensible that I would ever treat other people the way that I’ve treated myself mentally at times. A roommate definitely would have moved out by now.

So pay attention to the relationship that you have with the “first person.” Take some things off the table. Excessive negativity or particular word patterns. Bring a freshness to the relationship that you have with yourself. Think about the times that you’ve called or texted a friend from out of the blue to express your gratitude for them. Do the same for yourself. Find ways to recognize yourself internally. You would do it for a friend. Why wouldn’t you do it for you?

You’re the best! (And so am I!)

Pete

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

“I Can’t Respect a Man Who Doesn’t Drink Beer!”

Pete Huryk
Salisbury 1994

It was slurred and almost incoherent but that was the message that a teammate relayed to me during my freshman year soccer season. I’m not exactly sure what the message was intended to do. Was I supposed to change my ways and start drinking at that moment? Was I supposed to be hurt by the lack of respect that I was getting from him? I’m not sure but the message was emphatic and clear (well, minus the slurring.)

There are bound to be people out there who have a completely different worldview to you. Their up is your down and your right is their wrong. The easiest thing in the world is to dismiss their thoughts. Or even worse, dismiss them completely. It takes absolutely no effort. Curiosity about how they came to their conclusions takes effort. A conversation about it would be uncomfortable. And acknowledging any validity to their stance might undermine your self-image. It’s just easier to dismiss or even hate.

It’s easier but it probably doesn’t make anything better. We need people on this team. The entire system works better if we’re all heading in a similar direction. And the dynamic tension between opposing ideas often helps us get to a better solution. Beer drinkers and non-beer drinkers can coexist to find a better way forward. Actually, it’s the only way forward.

Together!

Pete

Blogpost, posh, self-reliance

POSH OTJ Training Under the Spotlight

Pete Huryk

This week is an opportunity for the young POSH squad to perform under the spotlight. Wrexham on Saturday brings extra attention due to their owners and media attention. Having been at the Sunderland match years ago when they were doing their docuseries, it’s easy for a match to end up on the cutting room floor because it doesn’t fit the narrative of the show. Then the trip to Liverpool in order to play Everton brings a very real amount of attention due to the magic of the FA Cup. The problem that most people have with the spotlight is the prospect of “failure”. It’s why public speaking is often feared at a near death level. Mistakes are a part of life but when they are public, they can be crushing. But it’s all practice… erm… I mean training.

Father vs Son Rivalry too!

My son and I won’t be at Goodison for this one

but we’ll be watching!

This season is all about “on the job” training. Players are being asked to perform at levels with consistency before they’re really ready. This is a tall order. Thousands of people watching and every moment being scrutinized can cause chinks in the armor of the most confident person. This week will accentuate that situation. Extra cameras, extra pressure, extra scrutiny, extra stakes and extra opportunity to learn.

In my first year, and I believe my first week, as a teacher, I was talking about the assignment for the day. I kept switching between referring to the paper as a sheet, then ditto, sheet, ditto, then it came out “shitto”. In a room of 26 sixth graders, they thought this was hilarious and burst out laughing. I just had to move on. Just like every career in the world, OTJ training is where you learn the most. Four years of college, seminars about teaching, student teaching experiences, lesson planning, etc. NEVER had the concept of cursing in front kids when I was the adult had ever entered my mind. These mistakes need to happen because you’re not ready for everything yet. None of us is “born ready”. We’re all born naked and afraid. Yet we press on.

The POSH young guns are not performing consistently at the moment. They’re naked and many are afraid. They weren’t born/bought ready. On the job training is the only way for them to get past it. It’s the best way for them to learn. In the arena! Performers are in there. Just not consistent performers yet. I hope that it’s this week in the spotlight they find the determination to keep their nerve and concentration for 90+ minutes. While most people fear the spotlight because they anticipate the fall, those who dare to be great want the spotlight to see them take off into flight!

Fly you fools!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Stars on the Ground

Pete Huryk

This morning, I was walking my dog. In the freezing temperature, the grass was covered with frost. With the moon shining down, the frost twinkled as if there were hundreds of stars on the ground. It’s not an odd occurrence. In the wintertime, this same set of circumstances probably happens hundreds of times. For some reason, it caught my eye and made me think about people. The stars on the ground weren’t the bright producers of light in the sky. They were just a reflection! People often do the same thing. They don’t shine with the brilliance to be seen from a distance. They’re a dim reflection of possibility.

This is not a finger wagging post, saying that we all should be burning brightly. That’s a tall order. The amount of energy and circumstances needed to make a real star or a human kind are numerous. So if that’s your ambition, by all means, I’m neither encouraging nor discouraging that level fire. Quite to the contrary, I want to put the attention to the stars on the ground. The normal ones that happen often.

Despite the fact that they are semi-ordinary, they are still beautiful. I’m talking about both the reflective bits of ice and the people in this world. You probably know some of them or might be one of them. The people who make the world… your world just a little bit better. They shine at times when it’s needed. They shine when it’s unexpected. They probably also shine when they’re not sure if they can anymore. These everyday creators of magic are all around us!

If you notice one today, take a moment and let them know. The stars in the sky are far beyond our reach. They’ll never know we were here gazing up at them. The stars on the ground are well within our reach!

Shine on!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Old Kids On The Block

Pete Huryk

At the height of their popularity, I had no choice but to listen to the New Kids on the Block. Not only were they pervasive on radio and MTV, my girlfriend at the time was a huge fan. Their catchy tunes and “boyish” good looks were a recipe for success at the time. If we fast forward to the present day, I’m sure that the members look at their former selves and feel at least a twinge of embarrassment. Either the clothes, the hair, the songs, the videos, or any other part of their success could definitely feel a little cringy. Back track a few words! That’s right. Success! They were a worldwide phenomena and there are still reasons to look back with a bit of embarrassment.

We’ve all done it at one point or another. Looked back at a photo, video or older version of ourselves and think “Oh my God! What was I thinking?” It was just a moment in time. Hairstyles, clothing choices, relationships, etc. can all cause a twinge of discomfort with what used to be so natural.

If we come back to the present moment, there are bound to be things that you are doing now that your future self will gasp at. It’s an inevitability! So why not press a bit harder on that button. At the moment, there are probably things that you’re not doing because of a certain amount of embarrassment. Asking out that person, starting a business, asking for a promotion, or a number of other things could be put to the back burner because you don’t want to look foolish now. There’s going to be a certain amount of the present you that embarrasses future you but there is a feeling worse than that… REGRET!

Embarrassment is not an overly strong emotion. It tends to fade pretty quickly. Regret tends to linger. It’s the long term price that you pay for not acting in the moment. It corrodes because there is a gnawing feeling that things could have been different. If you’re willing to become immune to embarrassment, maybe you’ll be able to avoid regret. It won’t be easy but you can take it “Step by Step”.

No regrets!

Pete