Month: January 2025

Blogpost, self-reliance

Limited Resources

Pete Huryk

For years, I’ve been a language teacher, but I started out as a math major in college. There wasn’t a definitive reason why—I just found that math made sense to me. No matter how complex the problem, the solution usually came from simplification. As Bruce Lee famously said, “Stripping away the inessential until the truth is revealed.”

In a world overflowing with so-called resources, maybe what we truly need is less—less clutter, fewer distractions, and more focus on what really matters. At the most fundamental level, you already have two of the most powerful tools imaginable: your mind and this moment. Everything else is a variable, dependent on circumstances that I could never predict. But with these two resources, your possibilities are nearly endless.

Your mind is an extraordinary machine. Though it was designed for a very different time in history, its capabilities are astounding. Given the right training, it can accomplish things beyond your wildest expectations. While it may not be truly limitless, we have yet to come close to discovering its full potential. The challenge isn’t whether your mind can do something—it’s whether you can get it into the right working order to produce the results you want. And that takes time, effort, and patience.

The second resource—now—is the one people tend to undervalue the most. Now is all you have. It can be frustrating to accept because we often want to believe there’s more time. But the past is gone, and the future is unreachable until it becomes now—and then it’s gone too. Despite this undeniable truth, many people spend their lives longing for what was or waiting for what’s next, squandering the only moment that truly exists. I must be a frustrating person to encounter at times because when people say in my presence, “I can’t wait for…” I tell them not to wish their life away. Sure! That trip to the beach is going to be great but now could be too!

But here’s the good news: Now holds all the power you need. If you can learn to embrace it, to truly harness its potential, you’ll find that everything you want—growth, learning, success, fulfillment—is waiting for you in this very moment.

Now that we’ve broken all life experience down to the two essential resources, what’s next? CHOOSE!!! Choose one to work on. You can either work on the grey matter that you have between your ears. That means focus. Eliminate the distractions and spends some time making your brain better in some simple way. OR practice living in the moment. Be wherever you are. Not every moment is going to be a reach the top of Everest moment. However, you can absolutely look for ways to make peaks out of your moment to moment life, just by being there.

You’ve got what it takes!

Pete

Uncategorized

Stop Believing!!!

Pete Huryk

Our beliefs are powerful tools that shape who we are and who we can become. While the title of this blog may initially seem negative, its purpose is entirely positive. It aims to spark an inner dialogue that motivates you to achieve a goal, create something new, improve yourself, change a habit, or tackle any other challenge that may feel overwhelming.

Stop believing it will be easy. True growth and achievement come from effort and perseverance. Expect challenges, embrace the grind, and know that the struggle makes success worthwhile.

Stop believing someone else will do it for you. Your journey is yours alone. Support from others can be helpful, but the responsibility to take action ultimately lies with you.

Stop believing it’s too big for you to accomplish. Every big goal is made up of smaller, manageable steps. Focus on one step at a time, and the seemingly impossible becomes possible.

Stop believing the voice inside your head that says, “You suck.” That inner critic is not your truth. Silence it with action, persistence, and self-compassion.

Stop believing you need to wait for the perfect time. The perfect time doesn’t exist. Start now with what you have and where you are. Progress begins in the present.

Stop believing you’re too tired. Fatigue is real, but so is your ability to push through it. Rest when necessary, but don’t let tiredness become an excuse to avoid progress.

Stop believing people will laugh at you. The opinions of others are fleeting and irrelevant compared to the fulfillment of chasing your dreams. Focus on your vision, not their judgments.

Stop believing anyone will help you more than you help yourself. Support is valuable, but no one can invest in your success as much as you can. Be your own biggest advocate.

Stop believing there are too many obstacles. Obstacles are part of the process. Each one overcome builds resilience and brings you closer to your goal.

Stop believing past failures define your future. Failure is not the end; it’s a lesson. Use what you’ve learned to try again, smarter and stronger.

Stop believing there’s nothing you can do. There is always something you can do, no matter how small. Action creates momentum, and momentum leads to change.

Now, let’s flip the narrative:

Start believing in yourself. You are capable of incredible things. Trust in your ability to figure it out.

Start believing in possibility. The future is full of opportunities waiting for you to seize them.

Start today. There’s no better time to begin than right now. Take that first step and build the life you want—one belief at a time.

Just START!

Pete

Blogpost, posh, self-reliance, SoccerLifeBalance

Neutral Thinking, Not POSH in Neutral!

Pete Huryk

There is more than enough talent in the squad to avoid relegation and even go on an extended win streak. The problem isn’t a lack of ability but rather a mentality that has plagued the team. I’m sure this opinion won’t be popular with some of the POSH faithful, but it’s far easier to judge a player as “not good enough” after a poor performance than to examine the deeper issues at play. While some of the gambles POSH has taken over the years haven’t panned out, there are far too many examples of players who have experienced ups and downs with POSH only to thrive at higher levels (Sammie Szmodics, among others).

Rather than taking the negative route that erodes players’ confidence, or the overly positive one that ignores the reality of the situation, there is another approach: neutral thinking.

I’ve read Trevor Moawad’s book a few times, but more often, I share his interview on neutral thinking. It encapsulates so many valuable ideas and stories, particularly about focusing on actionable steps in the present moment rather than dwelling on circumstances or outcomes. Optimists and pessimists can argue all day about whether the glass is half full or half empty, but ultimately, it’s what you do with the water or space in the glass that matters.

Even when circumstances are less than desirable, it’s the actions we take now that determine our outcomes. Losing hurts, and a string of poor performances hurts even more. After the Wrexham match (CJ’s first with the team), it seemed as though the squad had been injected with optimism. How is it that one person could “infect” a team with a positive mindset? Through their actions. As Trevor Moawad explains, removing externalized negativity allows people to reach a neutral state. From there, new thoughts and behaviors can emerge, moving individuals, teams, and even entire communities forward.

Ultimately, it’s the players who need to reach neutral and move forward. The Leyton Orient match might have been more “neutral” than people would have wanted but it got a clean sheet. These are young players who may not yet have the skills to combat the negativity in their environment. It’s part of their development. Fans want results—no doubt about that. But the players are the vehicle for those results. Slashing the tires, pouring sugar in the gas tank, or breaking the windshield is no way to get high performance out of that vehicle.

Neutral thinking offers a path forward: focus on the present, remove unnecessary negativity, and take actionable steps to improve. It’s not about ignoring the reality of challenges or sugar-coating situations. It’s about embracing a mindset that enables growth and resilience, both for the players and the team as a whole.

Up the POSH!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Would Life Be Better Without, “The Hand Of God”?

Pete Huryk

If you clicked on this post for a religious discussion, you won’t find it here! (Unless you consider soccer/football a religious endeavor) The question is about the influence of technology within the game. If VAR had existed in 1986, the “Hand of God” goal would have been disallowed. While on its face, this could be seen as a positive, especially for English fans. The correct call is made after some deliberation and “justice is done.” Maradona possibly gets a card for deliberately handling the ball. The result of the game is another stepping stone but nothing that endures through the ages.

As we progress into a world where technology is ever more pervasive, the question needs to be asked whether we’re gaining or losing. Some of this, I’m sure, is marked by my own nostalgia. Having grown up without the internet and many of our modern advances, I long for a world of imperfection. I’d rather a player and their fans be able to celebrate a goal in the moment rather than waiting for verification. “Getting it right” requires precision and the razor’s edge that is the difference between a goal or not can be maddening. It’s almost inhuman.

While my nostalgia for days long past may be strong, it does not have the strength to put the technological genie back into the bottle. Since we’re probably not going back, it might be worth it to notice with more fervor, the times when we’re truly being human. Our imperfections on full display. The joy of the moment without the pressure of perfection.

As you go through this and every day, there are innumerable opportunities for us to seize a moment that will stay with us forever. It probably won’t be planned in an app or edited by Chatgpt. Your abilities will be met with opportunity and magic will happen. It won’t be perfect but it will be worth remembering!

Golazo!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Take Care of the First Person

Pete Huryk

As a language teacher, I talk regularly about first, second and third person. Invariably, I start the initial conversation by asking “who is the first person in your life? The one person who you cannot get rid of? They will be there every moment of every day of your life?” Because I’m dealing with young people who have a limited view of their own lives, I often get answers like “my mom”, “my sister”, “my dad”, etc. Eventually the obviousness of the question sets in. The answer is yourself! The only person who will be there every day of your life is you.

Best of friends ready to travel together.

Despite the fact that the only person that each of us will deal with consistently, many people struggle with their inner relationship. Imagine having a roommate and talking to him or her, the way that you talk inside of your own head. The number of times that you’ve mentally berated yourself for a mistake or just for being who you are. It’s incomprehensible that I would ever treat other people the way that I’ve treated myself mentally at times. A roommate definitely would have moved out by now.

So pay attention to the relationship that you have with the “first person.” Take some things off the table. Excessive negativity or particular word patterns. Bring a freshness to the relationship that you have with yourself. Think about the times that you’ve called or texted a friend from out of the blue to express your gratitude for them. Do the same for yourself. Find ways to recognize yourself internally. You would do it for a friend. Why wouldn’t you do it for you?

You’re the best! (And so am I!)

Pete

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

“I Can’t Respect a Man Who Doesn’t Drink Beer!”

Pete Huryk
Salisbury 1994

It was slurred and almost incoherent but that was the message that a teammate relayed to me during my freshman year soccer season. I’m not exactly sure what the message was intended to do. Was I supposed to change my ways and start drinking at that moment? Was I supposed to be hurt by the lack of respect that I was getting from him? I’m not sure but the message was emphatic and clear (well, minus the slurring.)

There are bound to be people out there who have a completely different worldview to you. Their up is your down and your right is their wrong. The easiest thing in the world is to dismiss their thoughts. Or even worse, dismiss them completely. It takes absolutely no effort. Curiosity about how they came to their conclusions takes effort. A conversation about it would be uncomfortable. And acknowledging any validity to their stance might undermine your self-image. It’s just easier to dismiss or even hate.

It’s easier but it probably doesn’t make anything better. We need people on this team. The entire system works better if we’re all heading in a similar direction. And the dynamic tension between opposing ideas often helps us get to a better solution. Beer drinkers and non-beer drinkers can coexist to find a better way forward. Actually, it’s the only way forward.

Together!

Pete

Blogpost, posh, self-reliance

POSH OTJ Training Under the Spotlight

Pete Huryk

This week is an opportunity for the young POSH squad to perform under the spotlight. Wrexham on Saturday brings extra attention due to their owners and media attention. Having been at the Sunderland match years ago when they were doing their docuseries, it’s easy for a match to end up on the cutting room floor because it doesn’t fit the narrative of the show. Then the trip to Liverpool in order to play Everton brings a very real amount of attention due to the magic of the FA Cup. The problem that most people have with the spotlight is the prospect of “failure”. It’s why public speaking is often feared at a near death level. Mistakes are a part of life but when they are public, they can be crushing. But it’s all practice… erm… I mean training.

Father vs Son Rivalry too!

My son and I won’t be at Goodison for this one

but we’ll be watching!

This season is all about “on the job” training. Players are being asked to perform at levels with consistency before they’re really ready. This is a tall order. Thousands of people watching and every moment being scrutinized can cause chinks in the armor of the most confident person. This week will accentuate that situation. Extra cameras, extra pressure, extra scrutiny, extra stakes and extra opportunity to learn.

In my first year, and I believe my first week, as a teacher, I was talking about the assignment for the day. I kept switching between referring to the paper as a sheet, then ditto, sheet, ditto, then it came out “shitto”. In a room of 26 sixth graders, they thought this was hilarious and burst out laughing. I just had to move on. Just like every career in the world, OTJ training is where you learn the most. Four years of college, seminars about teaching, student teaching experiences, lesson planning, etc. NEVER had the concept of cursing in front kids when I was the adult had ever entered my mind. These mistakes need to happen because you’re not ready for everything yet. None of us is “born ready”. We’re all born naked and afraid. Yet we press on.

The POSH young guns are not performing consistently at the moment. They’re naked and many are afraid. They weren’t born/bought ready. On the job training is the only way for them to get past it. It’s the best way for them to learn. In the arena! Performers are in there. Just not consistent performers yet. I hope that it’s this week in the spotlight they find the determination to keep their nerve and concentration for 90+ minutes. While most people fear the spotlight because they anticipate the fall, those who dare to be great want the spotlight to see them take off into flight!

Fly you fools!

Pete

Uncategorized

The Best Gifts

Pete Huryk

This is possibly the best gift that I’ve gotten in my adult life. It’s an ice cream scoop that I received from my former mother-in-law years ago. At the moment that I opened it, I didn’t know it was going to be the best gift. Don’t get me wrong! I appreciated it in that moment. It was obvious that the gift was for me. Not meaning that the tag on the wrapping had my name, it was deeper. She thought about me and bought that item with intention. I felt seen.

Gifts can express many things or possibly nothing at all. As I said before, I didn’t know this was going to be the best gift. The meaning of this item has morphed over the years. Initially, it was a functional tool that was for me. Then as my kids were born and grew, it became a part of our story. I used that item many times to scoop ice cream for them, and then they for themselves. Now it serves as a memory to a time that I don’t have many links to anymore. A time when I was young and trying to prove myself to people who barely knew me or what was to come but were willing to be kind. It’s been a constant through so many years, some good, some less than that.

The best gifts are not always the most expensive or the biggest. Sometimes the best gifts might not even look like gifts in the moment that they’re received. They may look like unwanted pain and hardship. Determining the difference between a gift and trash is not a question of price but rather perspective. In a world where we are exceedingly comfortable with throwing things, people and ideas away; perhaps a few gifts have been discarded in the process.

So as you go through your day, be on the look out for gifts. They may not always look like the way that you want but they’re out there. Often, the extra ingredients of time and perspective may need to be added.

Thanks Nancy!

Pete