Month: April 2022

Blogpost

Fill In the Gaps

Pete Huryk

The best ideas are not particularly the most complex. They also don’t particularly need to come from philosophers or physicists. Simple and usable is far better than complex and unattainable. So when considering the best people to ruminate on relationships, the fictitious boxer, Rocky Balboa, is not a name that springs to mind for most. However, in an offhanded comment in a meat freezer, he explains some of why we are drawn to particular people and keep them in our lives.

Paulie: I don’t see it. What’s the attraction?
Rocky: I don’t know. Fills gaps, I guess.
Paulie: What’s ‘gaps’?
Rocky: I dunno, gaps. She’s got gaps, I got gaps. Together, we fill gaps. I dunno.

It’s easy to get distracted by Rocky punching a side of beef after this conversation. However, in this short exchange with his future brother in law, he is profound in his reading of the human condition.

None of us is a perfect person. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. Despite the fact that we can’t achieve perfection, most of us look to improve or diversify our experience. Discovering new territory and finding new/unique ways of looking at the world is something that we’re built for. Often it is the people that we surround ourselves with that help pull us forward into the void or push us beyond our comfort zone or makes us feel secure due to their strengths being different. Fill the gaps.

Most relationships don’t last for a lifetime. People come in and out of our lives like seasons. Some last for decades and others for much shorter. It’s important to recognize those people who fill the gaps because no matter how long they are in your life, they’re not here forever. Do your best to be present in the time that you have and be thankful that you had it. Some people are too busy covering up the fact that they have gaps to let anyone in.

Not a perfect person!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

We’re Going Streaking!

Pete Huryk

Putting in a lot of hours on the stationary bike has necessitated the watching of some older movies. The most recent watch was the classic comedy Old School. A band of past their prime men unite with some college students in order to form a fraternity and craziness ensues. Like most of the silly comedies of the genre, the heroes rally a form of victory despite their lazy and generally idiotic ways. Although there is plenty to focus on from this film, the one scene that I want to revisit is Frank “The Tank” doing a lone streaking run.

With a microphone in hand and no inhibitions to be found, Will Ferrell’s character screams at the top of his lungs, “We’re going streaking!” He attempts to lead a group of naked followers through the quad and into the gymnasium. The problem is that no one follows. So he is a solo nudist running down the middle of the street to be found by his wife and her friends. It’s the beginning of the end of Frank’s marriage as he tumbles out of the trust tree and fully into his alter ego of Frank the Tank. Of course in this movie, idiocy is celebrated but how about real life?

Derek Sivers has a great Ted Talk about “starting a movement”. The key difference between an idiot and a movement is often numbers. The right ideas are not always the ones that win. Galileo was excommunicated even though he was right. It’s the lone idiot who can get people to follow them that wins the day. Since the best ideas don’t always win and traction often matters more than objective truth, what causes should we look to champion? This is where the Frank the Tank example truly matters.

The causes that are truly worth it are the ones where you’re not afraid to be the lone idiot streaking. Frank’s cause may not have been intelligent or popular but he went at it with full force. Our passion and not our popularity should decide the direction that we run. And the other uncomfortable but necessary part to any passion project is that there are times where forward motion is going to require us to be naked and unafraid. It won’t always be pretty but it will be genuine.

You’re my boy Blue!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Overlap of Heroes

Pete Huryk

It turns out that two of my heroes actually crossed paths. Teddy Roosevelt was presenting at an awards assembly where a young Dr. Seuss was supposed to receive an medal for selling war bonds. Unfortunately for the future author, he was last in line. For some reason there was one award missing. The very brusque former President asked “What’s this boy doing here?” A very embarrassed Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss’ real name) scurried off the stage and developed a fear of making public appearances. It was neither man’s best moment.

The thing about heroes is that we often want to see them a perfect, indestructible or superhuman. They are none of the above and are just as human as the rest of us. Foibles, failures and fractures happen to all human beings regardless of the esteem that they accumulate throughout their lives. Although they feel their own imperfection, the rest of the world tends to heap a status of extraordinary upon them. The part of that word to focus on is the “ordinary”. That’s all that they are with a bit of extra focus, extra care, extra work, extra creativity or extra effort. Otherwise they are just like the rest of us.

It’s so much easier isn’t it? Seeing our heroes as superhuman! That perspective lets us off the hook. If we see that we overlap with them in so many simple ways, perhaps the spectacular is right at our fingertips. Could it be that all we are missing is that little bit extra? Possibly! Maybe the fear isn’t that we’re not as good but that we’re capable of the same and we don’t want the expectation that comes with extraordinary. Whether you want to believe it or not, you overlap with heroes. Can you become your own?

See where extra takes you today!

Pete