Month: December 2020

Blogpost, SoccerLifeBalance

POSH Wobble Is Over, Unless…

Pete Huryk

One win in an almost meaningless cup game that was played by fringe players against West Ham’s youth team and POSH is back? The voice of Matt Kisby from the Yellow Block podcast is the one that I hear refuting my claim that the POSH are about to go back on a run. After just listening to their latest episode about Fergie In or Out, I had to put my thoughts out there. The decline in confidence amongst POSH fans is not surprising after a run of losses with 41% saying Fergie Out. However, those numbers will rebound before the end of the season as we push toward promotion.

Fans can be fickle and there are some that have a distaste for Ferguson regardless of the results. It’s hard to moan about a manager who is winning but one that goes on a string of losses, get out the torches and pitchforks. Despite those losses, Ferguson isn’t going anywhere. The owners believe that this manager is the architect for their club. His job is safe through wobbles. Only a complete collapse would be grounds for removal and that isn’t happening. The ship is already heading back in the right direction.

The win against West Ham is relatively meaningless other than the lineup. It was a game that required the lower half of the squad to play. The lineup was consistent with the others from the Papas Johns Trophy. Now it is up to Ferguson to get the players to believe that they are a squad again. The recent downturn in form is not a lack of talent. It is actually due to a squad that is full of talent but it needs to be utilized based on merit. Ferguson knows this and his salty interview is an indication of change to come.

Humans lead with belief and their actions tend to reflect it. Comfortable players do not give you their best effort. So a player who believes that his place in the starting eleven is secure will tend not give everything that he has. The flip side of that coin is that a player who believes that nothing he does will get him into the starting eleven tends to give less than optimal performance as well. Often this belief system will rear its ugly head when the bench player comes on late in a game. Not much time to impress makes every touch of the ball count. So the anxiety of the situation undermines the performance of a fully capable replacement.

The POSH players, both starters and replacements, need to believe that they are part of the equation. Mo Eisa needs to believe that he can contribute and has a chance when someone’s form drops. Sammie Szmodics needs to believe that the team scoring is far more important than him scoring and then goals will come. Ferguson’s frustration in the interview after Portsmouth came from his players underperforming and as Tim said in the Yellow Block Podcast, it is his fault. I truly believe that the team selection and result in the FA Cup caused a downturn in the squad’s belief that had already begun. A rotated squad for that game sends the message to the fringe players that they matter and to the starters that their position is not completely safe. Ferguson has proved time after time in his career that he knows how to strike this balance.

Although the psychology of each individual is important, a team or group also develops their own psychology based on the environment created by the leader/manager. The consistency with which Ferguson has gotten teams to perform at a high level lets me know that he can get this team to believe again. He doesn’t seem to lead completely with “fear.” Hitting that button too many times leads to players who resent their manager (Steve Evans). Whatever was said in the locker room needed to stay there, those who heard it most likely have gotten this message. The free passes are gone. None of us is bigger than all of us and we cannot wait for you to get it right. Unless I’ve completely misjudged him, Ferguson is going to get it right!

Up the POSH!

And listen to the Yellow Block! They’re good lads. (Can I say that as an American? Good guys is what I would normally say.)

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Money Pit

Pete Huryk

Before Tom Hanks was an award winning actor, he played leading roles in several quirky comedies. Movies like Bachelor Party, Dragnet and The Money Pit were not the cinematic triumphs that a modern audience expect from him. However they (and TV shows like Bosom Buddies) were a proving ground for him to hone his craft. The reason that I bring up The Money Pit is that it’s not a great movie but it illustrates the point.

The Money Pit stars Tom Hanks and Shelley Long. They play a couple who decide to buy a house together. After buying the house, it quickly falls apart.The house falling apart is only one of the problems. A construction company is brought in to fix the problems. Tom’s character is told that it will take “two weeks” to make all of the repairs. Months later as he and Shelley’s character move closer toward a breakup, the house is a dumpster fire. Tom is asked by a variety of people if they are “testing missiles” at the house. In the end, it all comes together. The house and his relationship are both fixed by the end of the movie.

This movie is the story of any big endeavor. At the beginning, everything looks like its going to be great. Progressively though, challenges keep on surfacing. The promise of quick results is obviously a lie but you want to believe it. After months or possibly years of trials and tribulation, you have gained traction. The one issue is that you’re not guaranteed the happy ending. The struggle is the only thing that you can count on.

Tom Hanks starred in the Money Pit at the start of his career. It wasn’t destined that he was going to be the actor that we know today. He had to continue to show up in movies and TV shows, getting incrementally better. All of his movies are not box office hits, there are many duds in there. However we see these types of people and because we don’t see the struggle, we assume it was easy for them. It’s almost never easy for anyone! We all fall into the pit (money or otherwise) at some point. The question is whether or not we stay there.

Jump in!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Lies You Tell… Yourself

Pete Huryk

It’s something that we all do at one time or another. Whether it is about that New Year’s resolution that you’re going to keep this year or something much deeper, our lives are lived from a particular point of view. Therefore when compared to the objective 100% truth, there are many times where we’re lying to ourselves.

When I looked up synonyms for the word lie, there is fib, fabrication, deception, falsification, invention, fiction, exaggeration, misinformation and the list goes on. This list gives many different levels of untruth to employ. So many shades of grey where the truth and the lie could easily be mistaken for one another. I’ll leave that middle ground up to you.

The lie that I want you to tell yourself is about that thing that is in the center of your being. That goal, desire or objective that you’re afraid to say out-loud because just the mention of it put tingles up your spine. The most naked truth about who it is that you want to be and I want you to tell yourself that it is going to happen. Not in some magical or mystical Disney movie type of way. Tell yourself that it is going to happen and that you need to make it happen through possibly years of slog and failure. But in the end you will get what it is that you’re looking for. Take a moment and with no regret, falsify, fabricate, deceive yourself into believing that it has to happen.

Then decide. Decide if the life that you live right now is any more satisfying than the lie. If it isn’t then it’s time to get to work. Every single person, who has done something great, had to make this type of decision. Greatness does not spring out of sensibility. It comes from being unreasonable. No matter if the entire world is telling you that you can’t do it, stand up tall with a straight face and say “I can!” Just recognize the fact that until you do, you’re a liar. And that’s ok!

Your pants are on fire!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Don’t Read the Directions

Pete Huryk

I’m pretty positive that I’ve never read the directions to a video game before I played it. The closest that I would have come would be Halo, where you have to go through the tutorial first, which was fine. As a kid growing up in the 80s, you would start to play and figure it out. From time to time, a friend would give a piece of information that would help you to beat a level. However it was basically all trial and error before you had infinite lives and cheat codes. Despite the fact that I’m going into my 45th* year on this planet, I’m going to hold to my childhood ethos of not reading the directions with one exception. Write your directions and read those!

As per usual, I’m not talking video games anymore. We should all get into the trial and error ethos for parts of our lives. However eventually, you pick up a nugget of truth that you should act on regularly but you don’t. The reason that you don’t is because you get distracted by one thing or another. In today’s world, distraction is almost a way of life. So writing down your own directions is not just a good idea, it’s probably 100% necessary.

Here are some questions that you may want to answer about your character as he or she heads out on the adventure.

  • What is valuable to you? To Mario, it’s coins, mushrooms, flowers, etc. A green mushroom is worth 100 coins and if you don’t know that, then you’re not paying attention.
  • What is your power? Pac Man could eat dot and ghost like no ones business. Little Mac was a little boxer with big dreams.
  • How do you get more life or power? Link had to collect hearts to stay alive and got containers to hold more.
  • What drains your life or power? If you are stuck in the video game mindset, now is the time to switch over. The things that drain you are important to identify. They could be hiding inside of a daily habit.

Those questions do not represent everything that you should consider but it is a start. Life may not always feel like a game but many parts of it work that way. At bare minimum, it may be helpful to identify how you can win on a daily basis. If you’ve been sold on a system that has you losing more often then you win, it is time to reprogram!

Power up!

Pete

*I officially declared myself a Martian a few years back. So according Martian years, I am 23 years old, turning 24 in 63 days.

Blogpost, self-reliance

All You Can’t See

Pete Huryk

In non-Covid times, my brother and I would go on an annual Appalachian Trail hike. The beautiful views, camaraderie and reconnection with nature were all good reasons to embark on the hike. One very good reason not to go is the first mile of the hike. It is almost all directly uphill that slopes at 25-45% degrees. It is the hardest part of the hike and it is right at the beginning. Once you get to the top, the world opens up in front of you and you can see for miles into Pennsylvania and New York State. It is truly magnificent! The remainder of the 20+ mile hike is far from easy but it is lined with intermittent views that consistently leave you in awe. The bulk of the price that is paid for those views upfront.

This is a concept that is peppered throughout our lives. Many of the rewards that we are looking for are hidden at the tops of steep climbs. From the bottom, it is impossible to see what the effort will produce for you. However it is plain to see the struggle, difficulty and labor in front of you. So most people don’t start climbing. Having been up that mountain several times, I know the payoff that is coming. In many of the situations that we encounter in life, the payoff is less than guaranteed. The secondary problem is that those endeavors also usually require something that you’ve never done before. This is again will stop many people before they start.

The things that can’t be seen before the start are all of the reasons to begin. The possible rewards are surely something. More importantly is the person that you become at the end of that path. While it’s easy to view ourselves as static individuals, we aren’t. You are a totally different person than you were five, ten, fifteen years ago. Keeping that in mind is crucial. Who will you be five years from now based on deciding to “ascend” or not? There is no doubt that either way, you will still be you. However the paths that you choose will impact what version of yourself shows up. Don’t just look up the mountain and see the climb. See yourself on top and envision how much more of your best self will be available from there.

See you at the top!

Pete

Blogpost

All of Kilimanjaro, Not a Quarter of Everest

Pete Huryk

Focus is more than a skill, it truly is our experience. Whether we realize it or not, there are truly a millions of things going on around us. The only things that leave a lasting impression are the ones that we focus on. Much like the lens of a camera, we can either sharpen or blur our experience based on how attuned our “equipment” is to our world. With all of this action, it’s easy to get distracted by the shiny, convenient, historic, new, expensive or controversial thing. Keeping a singular focus is difficult.

The inspiration for this post is my beloved Peterborough United’s early exit from the FA Cup. They were beaten by Chorley who are a club several leagues below the POSH. It was clearly an upset that now has Chorley in the 3rd round playing against Derby County. I couldn’t be happier! My team lost in the world famous FA Cup and I’m happy? No doubt about it and I hope that we fall out of the other cup competitions too. While I’m sure that the ownership, manager, players and other fans do not share my opinion, it is my muse today. For those of you who do not pay attention to League 1 football in England, the POSH are in third in the league at the moment. Our expressed goal for the season is to earn promotion to the Championship. As many Americans learned in the last episode of Ted Lasso, that is the league below the Premier League.

It’s possible to do two things at once. Walking and chewing gum is simple, unless your hair is on fire! While that seems like an extreme example, it is not completely without merit. Getting to the 3rd round or more in the FA Cup is icing on the cake in a normal year. At the moment, vying for promotion in a pandemic, without fans, playing a compressed schedule, while trying to make a cup run is probably too much. So I say it again, all of Kilimanjaro, not a quarter of Everest!

Each of us in our own lives needs to have a vision for our future. Focus is a key component to whether or not we get where it is that we say we want to go. Regardless of who you are, there are always going to be distractions, obstacles and other prizes on your horizon. Don’t let the “nice to haves” in your world, get in the way of what you really want. There are more than enough stumbling blocks out there, you don’t need to tie your shoelaces together. Find your true north and head in that direction with all due haste.

Up the POSH!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Fealty and Fidelity

Pete Huryk

Language is something that has intrigued me for almost my entire life. I remember distinctly wondering why the change of one letter could get me into trouble. Changing a singular letter in the word “duck” could get my butt beat. Although I didn’t understand the why behind it at the time, I definitely understood the importance of words and getting the words right. Despite the importance of words, we live in a world where there is so much information coming at us that we tend to only take in small chunks of it. Even before this information overload, there were several experiments where letters in the middle of words were jumbled to see if people could still read them. It turned out that as long as the first letter or two and the last letter or two were correct, the text was “readable.”

Whether you share my fascination with language or not, the words that you use to describe yourself and your world matter. Your brain is an extremely complex super computer that can produce astounding results for you, if you program it correctly. The problem is that many of us are consistently shoving poor programming into our minds. Not through any form of malice or contempt, simply due to routine, culture or laziness. Listen the next time that you ask someone “How are you?” You’ll hear a variety of answers that people use automatically. The problem isn’t that the answer is automatic. The issue is the content of what they say is impacting their disposition toward their present situation. “Fine” “Not bad” “Surviving” What the f#@%!?!?!? This exchange is so extremely low stakes as a conversation. The person who is asking may or may not care what the answer is. However YOUR BRAIN IS LISTENING! It heard you just say that you’re “surviving” and it takes that message semi-seriously. Now that super computer can send you all kinds of information to back up that assertion. It can send you pain in body parts or turn your focus to the unfortunate circumstances in your life rather than the great ones. Your brain is your servant and it’s only doing what you tell it to do.

Most of us have not lived life with servants. It’s less common than it was centuries ago. In the past, kings and other members of the ruling class had people who were loyal to them. Or rather they had fealty, a loyalty that was usually associated with living on the king’s land. While fealty is loyalty, it would often come from force rather than choice.

On the other hand there is fidelity. Only a few letters difference but conceptually huge. Fidelity is loyalty by choice. The person serves because they want to rather than are obliged to. Given the choice, which form of loyalty would you rather give to others or have from others? My personal preference would be to give/have fidelity.

Now think of that servant inside of your head. Is it exhausted by the thoughts that you force upon it? Has your routine, culture or laziness condemned your mind to living on the scraps of your poor perspective? Is your poor self-image an inheritance from past events or is it a daily tax that you’ve imposed because you’re afraid to forgive yourself for anything? The quote “The mind is an excellent servant but a terrible master” brings the entire idea into focus. Our mind should be our servant but we should be looking for its fidelity rather than fealty. A servant who chooses to serve will go out of his/her way to improve the life of the master. The one who is forced to serve will only do what is necessary to avoid punishment. Be a good master today and win your own fidelity. Then do the same with others.

Have a great day!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

Kill the Deer or Plow the Field

Pete Huryk

No one can deny that we’re a long way from our ancestors. A caveman would be completely baffled by our world. Even our relatives from 100 years ago would find our confusing. Things that they would have considered challenges have been completely conquered. While things that we consider relevant would be laughably inconsequential to them. At the tip of the spear of time, survival is much less of a concern than it has ever been even in a pandemic. Despite the huge difference between our worlds, we exist with basically the same hardware as our ancestors inside of our heads.

Mother nature was smart when she set up the human animal. We are wired to get pleasure out of the things that are going to keep us alive. It’s almost comical that now that we don’t have to “survive” as much, many of those joyous things are the ones that are killing us. But I digress. Historically speaking, humans have been largely hunters or farmers/gatherers. Keeping the simplicity of this in mind, recognize that these are two different skill sets. Both require a form of patience but one is more active. Tracking and hunting often took days. Planting and harvesting took months. Both take skills. Some that were innate and others that were learned. Despite never having experienced our modern perception of a computer, our ancestors had both an operating system and “apps.”

By looking at it in a similar fashion, you need to realize that you have a similar operating system. However the applications that you’re running, don’t always work well with the system. Things tend to develop glitches when your apps don’t align with your basic programming (no computer language pun intended).

Your body/mind want to survive: physically, mentally and socially. Keeping this in mind is important. Even though you’re unlikely to perish in your day to day existence, your basic programming is still trying to avoid it. So whatever problem it is that you’re having, it is probably a disconnect between your modern life and your body/mind’s prehistoric programming.

That assignment or paper that you’re avoiding. It’s not a bear or a lion or even chipmunk but it still causes fear. Not because it is going to kill you. It’s a disconnect between your modern view of school and your prehistoric brain’s need to live in a tribe. If you do something that offends the chief or hurts the tribe, you might be banished and you’ll never make it alone. It’s the possibility of planting seeds that you need for the winter and a drought coming.

The extra pounds that you’ve put on are a disconnect between your modern sense of “attractive” and your prehistoric mind’s need to take on calories whenever they’re available. Set up a system for getting food after a successful “hunt.” Remember that chasing down a deer might have taken days. So our ancestors were probably working on light food until they hit the big score.

Regardless of what you’re struggling with, there is most likely a portion of it that can be traced to a mismatch of your operating system with the world that we live in. On the one hand, this is slightly annoying. On the other, it is liberating. Freedom can be found in the fact that you’re almost never in as much danger as your brain is interpreting. So you’re starting from a place major advantage. Knowing what signals to ignore and how to leverage the helpful ones is your job as a modern day human. Set your mind up so that you can win the ancient game of survival that you’re playing.

Good hunting!

Pete

Blogpost, self-reliance

The Test Is Never Tomorrow

Pete Huryk

Although I’ve been a teacher for almost two decades, I’m not a huge believer in many of the standard operating procedures that we associate with school. We live in a world with rules and norms that are very different from the ones that we learn in school. This is not an indictment of the education system. There is still a reason for the system to exist and although it could be improved, we don’t seem to be able to agree on how to pivot. My point is actually on a much more personal level. For each and every one of us, the test is never tomorrow. It’s right now.

In school we are usually moving toward some form of informational crescendo where we will have a quiz, test or exam. Eventually we amass enough of these to warrant a graduation or certification. The documents that we accept are a proof of past knowledge. Passing a test on the War of 1812 would be pretty tough at the moment. However we’ve accepted this system to give ourselves titles of high school graduate, bachelor, or PHD. No matter whether we passed with flying colors or barely scraped by, we still hold the title. It is part of our identity and helps to form beliefs about who we are.

Each and every one of us has a variety of identities that we would use to classify ourselves. I’m a father, husband, teacher, coach, blogger, author, speaker, uncle, etc. Depending on the moment, I could be filling any one of those roles. Let’s dissect this, starting from the base and working our way up.

  • When I am being a coach, it’s possible that I’m 100% ignoring my role as an uncle. Does that mean that I’m a horrible uncle? No, just like in school, it’s possible to take multiple classes in order to be “well rounded” while majoring in other things. If I only had one role for myself, that role would get boring quickly.
  • Following along from the point above. Even though diversification of roles is important to stave off boredom, your attitude toward each role is going to usually determine your success more than your aptitude. A soccer player who pours his/her heart and soul into training and matches will often get farther than a similar level one who sees it as drudgery. (Another reason to revamp school)
  • The next step up is that very few of the tests in life are going to be based on extremely predictable information that we are just regurgitating from past situations. We need to interpret new circumstances and apply past knowledge while adapting with changes. It’s almost never multiple choice. Usually it’s multiple intertwined problems that we’ve never seen before and people are watching while we work.
  • Life’s tests are almost always “pop quizzes.” You’re rarely going to know when they are coming up. They are almost never representations of our cumulative knowledge in an area. Little combinations of information and skill are needed to navigate situations. There is almost no way to predict what tests are coming your way and what will be on them. There is no curve and often, you’ll never truly know if you passed or failed.

Life is less like school and more like juggling. You don’t pass or win at juggling. Invariably everything is going to fall down at some point. Some objects that you are trying to keep up will be more fragile or heavy. The only way to get better at juggling is to juggle, to chance the missteps and off balance situations. The performance and the practice are the same exact thing except one has an audience. Ultimately many of the variables can be changed but you are the constant. If you drop everything, it’s on you to pick up the pieces and start again. A teacher can tell you how to be a better juggler but it’s on you to make the throws.

This long post really only has one point. Now and you are all that you have. If you’re not ready for the tests/pins/bowling balls that life is throwing at you, then you need to use this moment to practice for the next time. Don’t expect it to be easy or that you’ll get extra time or extra help. If they come, great but they’re not a given, this isn’t school!

Practice and perform! You can do it!

Pete